The True Confessions of Ayanami Rei
by Sesshy's Girl 00
Summary: It's not easy being a doll. Rei finally speaks on the events and world of Neon Genesis Evangelion. Will she ever find happiness or is she destined for detruction?
1. In the Begining

Alrighty then, I'm going to do something I promised myself I wouldn't do and start a third fict while I still have two going.

This one all began when I decided to twist a few scenes from the Eva series for my own amusement. Now I've got the works of a good story going (mostly still in seral large chunks but, ah well. We can't be too pick can we) so I figured it's time to see what you guys think. I'm going to post the first two chapters and if i get some positive feed back I think I'll keep posting the rest of. Please review and let me know what you think.

P.S.: I don't own Eva. That right belongs to Gainax.

'Nuf said.

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_**The Girl in White Bandages: The True Confessions of Ayanami Rei**_

_The world of Evangelion through the eyes of the enigmatic Rei Ayanami, with my own twists of course . . . _

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**Ch. 1 In the Beginning . . .**

_I began life as nothing more then a single piece of a mass of voices in the darkness. I was a nameless entity among those I recognized as like me. Then one day a voice called me to the light. It gave me a name which I would from then on know as my own and the light burned my eyes. "It called come Rei Ayanami, awaken from the darkness. . ." _

**First Life**

"Rei," said a masculine voice, "I created you and gave you life. You owe your entire existence to me. So in gratitude you must always obey me."

It was god. He was speaking to me from on high. The voice was hard and commanding but somehow I knew it spoke true. I think I could sense my own falsity even then. The origin of the voice leaned over and spoke to me again. This time the voice was eager and encouraging. "Now, move your arm."

I made a fist with my right hand. Hand? When had I had gotten one of those? "Very good, Rei. You may open your eyes now." The voice said, sounding full of pride.

I opened my eyes slowly letting the sight of the outside world filter in. Above me stood a young man. His brown hair was cut short and a pair of glasses rested on his nose. He smiled at me and I liked him instantly. I wanted him to always keep smiling at me like that. Always and forever . . .

_I would spend the first several months of my life isolated with in the bowls of a place called Gehern. I learned from the man known only as Commander Ikari, although I was later to learn that his name was really Gendo Rokubungi Ikari but that wasn't important to me at the time. He taught me how to speak, use my body and all sort of other useful things. Of course this was also when I first learned to ignore my feels and become as I would later be termed, "a doll" Then one day he came and told me to follow him upstairs. I was silently proud that day; the Commander was finally showing me Gehern for the first time. I was introudced to all the important people including Dr. Akagi and her daughter Ritsuko. After that day my instruction became different. Now the Commander was teaching me words to memorize. I had no idea what they meant but something told me they weren't nice. _

**Death and Rebirth**

"That old hag has no use anymore. That old hag is worthless. . ."

Just like he had said, I kept repeating the words The Commander had taught me over and over. Suddenly she was holding me by the throat. I tied to stop her but I couldn't move. I wanted to cry, to scream, to do anything, most of all breathe but I couldn't do anything. Her strength was overwhelming. "Didn't you know? You're replaceable too Rei." She hissed in my ear.

I felt the bones in my neck break under the strength of her hands. It was a horrid sound I'll always remember and everything went black.

Naoko stood silently with Rei's limp body in her hands for several seconds before it all sank in. He had brought Yui back, in the guise of this young girl. Rei and Yui were one in the same. Why? Had she really been that expendable to him? Had Gendo been that eager to get rid of her? Naoko looked down at Rei seeing what she had wished she'd seen before in the dead girls face. Yui. Yes the girl was Yui though and through. She had killed her, killed her. She had strangled Yui! Dear good what had she done? Slowly the limp body slid from her fingers and landed on the floor. Naoko turned and made her way to the railing over looking her precious magi. Tears began to fall as she knew her fate was sealed. Yui had been right. She was a useless old hag. It was time she went away. Swiftly she climbed over the railing and suspended herself over Melchior. _Ritsuko, good bye my child. I'll miss you. Yui, please forgive me. God I'm so sorry. Amen. _With that she let go.

As I woke I could feel LCL all around me and I knew I was in the tube. I slowly opened my eyes to see him. He was standing just outside. Was it just my imagination or had he gotten older? Yes, he had. "Welcome back Rei. How do you feel?" He asked me.

My stomach wrenched but I forced my self to keep smiling. He had brought me back. He had brought me back! Was I not worthy of death? Was death not good enough for me? Apparently yes. Until his propose for me was done I would not die. He would not let me go. That became my ultimate truth from that day foreword. I took a moment to let that knowledge engrave it's self in my very being before I replied. "Fine, sir."

"Good. You may come out now."

"Yes, sir."

**Presentation of the Beast**

The Commander stopped at a door just ahead of me and swiped his card in the lock. The door slid open and he turned to wait for me to catch up. Even from where I was I caught the smell of blood wafting from within and recoiled momentarily. It made me sick. I blocked it out by telling myself it was nothing and hurried to reach him. Silently we entered into the dark room. Almost instantly the doors snapped shut behind us plunging the room into total darkness. "Commander?" I called "Commander Ikari?"

There was no response. I kept walking, telling myself he'd been distracted and hadn't heard me and that I would bump into him any second. I didn't. I kept going but he wasn't there. With blinding intensity the lights turned on. I blinked trying to adjust my eyes so I could see. As my eyes adjusted the orange head of a monstrous being cam into view. Everything below the neck except the right arm, whose uncompleted bony structure hung suspended from the ceiling in mid air, was submerged. Its single red eye seemed to watch me from its place in the head over twice my height above me. The head along dwarfed me, making me oddly tiny in comparison. The rest of it, what couldn't be seen must be massive, I concluded. "Do you like it, Rei?"

"What is it?"

"Prototype Evangelion Unit Zero. She's for you."

"For me?"

As I gazed back transfixed by its red cycloptic eye I knew exactly what it was. Before anyone bothered to tell me I knew. I could feel it like the deepest truth in my bones. That creature was me. We were one. Dark and Light twin mirror reflections of each other. Impossible to separate yet never to be one. That was what he had given me. "Yes. I made her for you. You shall take her into battle to fight the angels."

I looked over at the face of Unit Zero forming an unspoken pact with her in that moment then back at The Commander. "Yes sir."

_A few months later Unit Zero's arm was complete and I was officially designated as her pilot. I was now known as the first child. From that day on I trained devotedly, religiously so some would say, to prepare myself for the task ahead of me. I lost any ability to express or understand emotions as I became totally fixated on the momentous job of defeating the angels. However I would soon find I had an even greater enemy to conquer . . . _

**Savior and the True Horror**

I shivered as the scaling hot water hit my shoulders. I barely noticed. I was cold on the inside. Like frozen ice. Completely numb. I tried to call to mind something, anything but everything seemed pale and muted. Silently I turned off the shower and wrapped a towel around me. As I was redressing Doctor Akagi appeared. "The Commander was very pleased with the results of today's test, Rei." She told me.

I didn't respond, I was too busy trying to make my hands stop shaking. My muddled thoughts refusing to quit racing. Vaguely I was aware of Doctor Akagi approaching me but it didn't really register with me that she was there until she out her hands around my own. "Rei, you're freezing. Go run some hot water on yourself. You'll make yourself sick at this rate."

"I did." I told her tonelessly.

She starred at me in shock and surprise. "What are you talking . . ."

"I'm not the some Doctor. What's wrong with me?" I asked blankly.

Even as I spoke the words I already knew what was wrong. The Commander was creating the dummy plug using me, stealing my soul to make it. When Doctor Akagi didn't answer me I turned to leave. I didn't know what to do but I knew it had to be quick or else I would loose myself, forever. I left Nerv directly and returned home. I lay down on my bed and closed my eyes. Slowly my feeling returned and along with it a plan. The Eva, she could save me. She had no soul of her own so I could give her my own. Then she could save me from disappearing or loosing myself. On top of that it might make synchronization easier. From that day on I tried my hardest to put everything into the Eva. All my loneliness, my pain, my fears. Joy and anger, anything I experienced I tried to imprint it as vividly as I could onto the Eva's soul. The first time I got into the Eva after my second visit to the dummy plug was painful. The numbness hadn't completely gone away this time. When synchronization began I was forced to see and feel everything I had put there. It was harsh and overwhelming. I was left feeling drained, weak, laid open and vulnerable. However it was enough to remove the numbness. I never waned to feel like that again. The numbness scared me more then anything.

**Pain of Connection**

"Rei, its time."

"Yes, sir."

Lights flashed and synchronization with unit zero began. Suddenly images began to invade my mind. It was me; my body was rotting, falling a part. I was crumbling to pieces. Voices everywhere taunting me, screaming my name. "No!" Screamed my voice but it didn't come from me.

I closed my eyes and slammed my hands over my ears but the harder I tied to block them out the stronger the assault became. The next thing I knew I was being thrown like a rag doll within the entry plug. I held on in vain for dear life. For the first time I actually screamed and wished everything would stop. I hit the wall hard and I lost use in my left arm. My stomach went straight to my throat as the entry plug plunged downward thought the air. I felt my ribs crack when I hit the floor. Then everything went still. I struggled to remain conscious against the overwhelming pain. The door opened and near blinding light flooded the in. "Rei, are you okay?"

I struggled against the pain to sit up and I locked eyes with the commander. "Yes sir."

He smiled for a brief instant at me and my world was complete. "Good."

Several techs from the medical department pushed past the Commander obscuring my view of him. They gently lifted me from the pilot's seat to a stretcher. As I was carried from the entry plug I spotted the Commander's glasses floating in the LCL. I stretched out a hand and picked them up. He's lost them for me and now they would serve as a reminder of this day.

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Well, what do you think? That was mostly some snippits from Rei's life before the series officially began. In the next chaper thing will pick up where the series began. 


	2. That's Great It Starts With

Oaky as I said in the last chaper this fict began from my obsessiona with Eva wich led to me rewritting several scenes. That has now lead to this. If you guys want more just review and ask I have more to write!

No, I don't own Eva it belongs to gainax.

That's all folks.

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_**The Girl in White Bandages: The True Confessions of Ayanami Rei**_

_The world of Evangelion through the eyes of the enigmatic Rei Ayanami, with my own twists of course . . . _

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**Ch. 1 That's Great It Starts With . . . **

I had been sleeping peacefully for the first time since the accident when a nurse came in and woke me up. She apologized but said the Commander wished to speak to me immediately. She pressed a button on the computer next to my bed and a voice only link was opened. "The third child is a failure. You will pilot Eva again." He said.

I replied in the affirmative. I had been prepared for this news and I was secretly glad it had happened this way. I had been afraid that the commander would abandon me, consider me worthless. I knew I wasn't much more than a bandaged husk at the moment, no one with a shred of sanity could deny it, but I was still alive and that's all that mattered. As long as I was alive and the Commander still had faith in me I would do it again. No matter what the costs or the risks I was prepared to accept them all.

As the nurses rolled me down the hallway to the Eva I watched the florescent lights on the ceiling roll by with my one good eye. Around me the nurse's voices buzzed. Some stating my physical statistics others saying what a shame it was that I was going to attempt to fight the angel when I was in such a bad state. I paid no attention to them. Their words meant nothing to me. I was concerned with more important things. The commander had faith in me and I wasn't going to betray it so I'd have to be ready.

As I was rolled on to the bridge in front of Unit One, I could see Commander Ikari on the big screen to one side and Captain Katsuragi with a boy about my age farther down in front of the purple unit's head. As I neared the boy's eyes got wide and he looked up at the commander, then me then the commander again. "Father is this Rei?" The boy demanded.

So this was the son of Commander Ikari. Was he the one who was supposed to be third child? If he was, he was terrified and didn't look like he wanted to do it. That would explain what was meant by failure. The Commander replied. "That is correct, Shinji."

"But father . . ."

The Commander ignored him, instead turning to look at me. "Rei, it is time."

"Yes, sir."

I placed my good arm under me and turned my body so I was on my hands and needs. Slowly I tried to position myself that I could slide off the bed. An explosion rocked Nerv knocking my bed out from under me. I hit the floor hard and pain raced through my body. I lay on my back for several moments breathing deeply the pain nearly overwhelming. At first I thought I couldn't move but; the pain began to subside. As it wore off I seized the side of my bed with my good arm. Using it as an anchor I pulled myself to my feet. I was breathing hard from the effort and vertigo had begun to smear my sight. Focusing with all my might I placed one foot in front of the other. Slowly I began to cross the distance to the stairs that led to the entry plug of the Eva. I could feel the blood running down my arm and dripping onto the floor but I ignored it. As I climbed the stairs the shock waves of another explosion hit Nerv sending me tumbling down. With each impact the pain gripped me stronger. Eventually I lay helpless at the bottom. This time the pain wasn't going away. It had completely engulfed me. I couldn't move. The next thing I knew Ikari-kun was cradling my broken form in his arms. It felt warm, comforting and somehow gave me some new strength. I felt more relaxed and at ease then I could ever remember feeling. Slowly I felt my pain beginning to ebb away. I was still in pain but I was no longer grimacing consumed by it. The boy picked me up off the floor and turned like he was going to put me back on the bed. I had to stop him. I grabbed the collar of his shirt and through the pain I focused all my energy into one word, "Eva . . ."

Ikari-kun looked at me for a moment before protesting, "But, Rei . . ."

"Eva . . ." I pleaded.

I couldn't let him put me back on the bed. The Eva needed a pilot and I needed to pilot. There was no other way about it. "Rei, that's enough. The boy can do it." The Commander said

"No. I'm the first child . . . it's my job to fight the angels." I insisted.

"Fine. Do it."

Hesitantly Shinji turned and ascended the stairs with me in his arms. I breathed a sigh of relief. I wouldn't be denied after all. Once at the top he cautiously stepped into the entry plug and crossed it. Gingerly he set me down in the pilot's seat and stepped out. Clutching my bad arm to my chest like a broken wing I waited for the entry plug to fill with LCL. I heard a muffled thump then the bang of the door closing behind me. I noted that it sounded unusual but I thought nothing of it at the time. LCL rushed in and climbed up around my ankles, filling the plug. Lights flashed as synchronization was established. The connection process went perfectly and I had synchronization with the Eva. It felt heavy and colossal around me. I had to remind myself to breathe and remain calm. In the back ground I could feel her there. She was like a cold hand wrapped around me. She was the reason I couldn't pilot unit one as well as unit zero. She didn't like me one iota but she had let me in. Why? Why, Yui? At first I received no answer from my companion but suddenly an image of the commander's son came to mind. It was Shinji Ikari. So you accept me in order to protect him, interesting. Very well. I wouldn't protest.

"_What's her sync ratio?"_

"_It's holding steady at 37."_

"_That's her best ever. I just hope it's enough. Arm her with two progressive knives. We need her to be able to stay on her feet and the guns would weigh her down."_

The Eva went smoothly to the launching platform. I lay back in the seat breathing deeply and trying to relax. "Rei, you okay in there?" Asked Captain Katsuragi.

"Yes."

"Evangelion Unit One, lift off!" She cried.

The Eva lurched and shot off towards the surface. I was forced foreword by the extreme force becoming completely doubled over. A nauseating sickness rose in me and I struggled not to vomit. With a final hard jerk we reached the top. A took a couple deep breaths to settle my stomach and keep myself from throwing up the little it contained. The world stopped spinning and I was able to look around. A storm was moving in so it was dark and hard to see. It took me several seconds to spot my target. He was standing on a hill on the far side of Tokyo III staring right at me. I knew right them that we had been spotted. I took a deep breath and waited to see what the angel would do. I was slightly nervous because I wasn't heavily armed. They figured I'd be better off if I was light on my feet and able to dodge the enemy quickly. My only available weapon was two progressive knives, one stored in each shoulder. It didn't take long for an answer as the angel wasted no time in mounting his assault. He spread his AT field wide and charged right at me. I drew my progressive knife and spread unit one's AT field in response. He wasn't getting past me, I declared silently to myself. This was the moment I had been training for.

With tremendous force our AT fields crashed into each other; I tried to force my progressive knife through it's AT field but that was proving to be a difficult task. Suddenly two ball of light appeared in the angels empty eye sockets. I tried to pull back but it was too late. Seconds later a blinding flash of pain smeared my vision as the angel blasted me in the face. I screamed and stumbled backwards trying to clear my eyes. The angel took advantage of my momentary incapacitation to seize unit one by the head. More pain shot through me as he used the charged rod in his arm to ram unit one repeatedly in the head. Through the pain I managed to stab him with my progressive knife and kicked him away. I tired to get my bearings but vertigo smeared my vision making it nearly impossible. I managed to make two shaky steps before I lost it and the ground rose up to meet me.

Pilot has lost consciousness.

The angel is rapidly approaching.

Sir we need to get her out of there! She's is bleeding internally. She can't take anymore, sir!

Shinji slowly came to consciousness wondering what in the world had just happened to him. The last thing he could remember Ritsuko and come up as he was exiting the entry plug and sprayed something in his face and then he passed out. Now he didn't know where he was but it smelled sickly of blood. Somewhere in front of him he heard a woman scream, "Sir we need to get her out of there!"

Shinji opened his eyes. He was inside a giant pill shaped tube filled with a strange yellow orange liquid. Shinji panicked, thinking he would drown. After a moment it occurred to him that he was breathing fine before he noticed the liquid was there so it must be okay. Curiosity took old and he began to survey his surroundings. All around was what he believed was a realistic looking but cheesy looking movie about a giant monster attacking a city. He couldn't see the monster at the moment but judging by the damage it had to be nearby. He made his way towards the lone seat near the front of the giant contraption hoping to find a place to sit and watch the movie play out. He was to be sorely disappointed. Slumped in the seat was the unconscious form of the young Eva pilot, Rei Ayanami. Shinji nearly fainted in shock, he was inside the Eva and this wasn't a movie, it was real. "Shit." He muttered under his breath.

Shinji looked up. The angel was now in sight and advancing quickly. What should he do? He didn't know how to pilot this thing. He looked down at the girl named Rei. She would know, he realized. He had to wake her up. In a desperate attempt get her attention Shinji shook Rei's shoulder calling "Hello? Hey, can you hear me?"

She didn't respond. Shinji was about to try again when he looked up and saw that the angel was getting dangerously close to them. He looked hurriedly around trying to find something to get them out of there but all he found was a com button and an extra head band like the one Rei was wearing. In a last ditch of hope he pressed the com button. "Hello? Can anybody hear me?" He called out.

"Shinji!" He heard Misato cry on the other end.

"What in the hell is going on here?" He demanded "What am I doing in the Eva?"

"I'm sorry Shinji, but I couldn't stop her. Rei's in bad shape and it was clear she wouldn't last long so she wanted to make sure you where in there to take over for her." Misato explained.

"Why me? Why can't someone else?"

"Because you're the only one here besides Rei that can pilot the Eva."

Shinji stared moodily in silence. He was not happy at all about being here. In fact this was the absolute last place in the galaxy he wanted to be right now. Yet, in a strange way it felt almost right like he was meant to be in this place right then. Shinji looked at the headband and asked it what in the hell he was doing. Stupid this is what idiots did. He must have lost his mind, he decided. He placed the transmitter band on his head knowing he'd hate himself for it in the morning. "What do I have to do, Misato?" He asked.

"One moment . . ." She said.

Shinji could hear Misato hand the set to someone and Ritsuko's voice came through. "Shinji can you hear me?" She asked.

"Yes."

"Then listen up. The Eva moves by responding to the mental thoughts and emotions of the pilot. So all you have to do is to think about and envision the action you want her to perform in your mind and she'll do it. Also you have two knives one should be currently in unit one's hand the other in your left shoulder. Got all that?"

"Yes. I copy."

"Good."

Shinji sat down in the pilot's chair, placing Rei limp form in his lap. "I'll help instruct you until you get the hang of it."

"Alright."

"Can you feel how the Eva is positioned on the ground? Envision yourself standing up from that position."

Shinji could indeed feel the position of the Eva, lying on its chest. He took a breath and tried to focus his mind on the image of himself standing up. Slowly he felt the Eva's massive form begin to rise to her feet. "Shinji spread your AT field!" Ritsuko yelled at him.

Shinji looked up in time to receive a blow to the face from the Angel. He cried out and stumbled backward. The angel seized him by the neck and threw him into a nearby building. The angel advanced in a slow methodical manner. Shinji struggled to get the Eva to her feet but she wasn't responding quickly. He stared in horror wondering what to do. In front of him he heard Rei groan softly as she began to stir.

As my conscience drifted back I could hear someone whimpering in fear. I opened my eye to see what was going on. I was greeted by the sight of the angel advancing on me. That was when I noticed it; I was sitting in someone's lap. I looked up to see Ikari-kun was there. He smiled weakly at me. Ikari-kun was sitting in the pilot seat with me on his lap. The first strange sounding closing of the door made sense now. It looked like I would have help after all. "Let's go." I said to him. "Follow my lead."

Ikari-kun nodded in agreement and placed his hand on my own. We directed unit one to rise to her feet and ready her progressive knife. "Charge!" We cried at the same time.

Unit one rushed foreword and we forced the knife into the angel's core. The core glowed red then went critical. Shinji grabbed me and held me close as everything exploded around us.

A pair of Nerv techs wrenched open the door to the entry plug. Misato appeared and forced herself between them in order to look inside. "Shinji, Rei!" She screamed.

Both children where completely unconscious. Shinji was slumped over the side of seat and his arms where still wrapped around Rei. Rei was leaning foreword her head nearly touching her knees and a small trail of blood tricked from her mouth. Misato turned and yelled back to the techs below. "Get me a medical team in her quick!" She hollered.

"Yes ma'am."

Consciousness returned at the worst possible time. I was awakened to the sensation of being suspended in the air by several pairs of hands. My head was pounding so hard I was sure it would explode and I felt so sick that I couldn't even start thinking about opening eyes. The shot of painkiller I'd been given earlier seemed to have worn off and everything seemed painfully real and there. I felt my broken arm begin to slide from where it lay across my stomach, but I didn't have enough will left to stop it. I cried out as the bones shifted painfully in my arm. I felt my stomach drop for half a second but it took forever for my head to quit spinning and my arm to stop reeling from the movement of broken bones. I was laid on something soft and solid by the hands. From somewhere nearby I heard Dr. Akagi voice say, "Get me another injection of morphine for her."

"But ma'am she's not due for another one for two hours."

"I know that but she clearly needs more. In fact mix it with something to knock her out for a little while."

Footsteps retreated and I heard Dr. Akagi approach. She leaned down next to me. "Congratulations. You're still alive."

I groaned as I was consumed by another wave of pain. Like I needed to know that. The pain was more then enough proof. I heard the footsteps return and the doctor rose to meet them. "Here's the shot ma'am and this is from Commander Ikari."

Dr. Akagi leaned over and began to swab my better arm with a wet cotton ball. She stuck the needle in my arm and the pain began to disappear until it became a surreal background feeling and the hazy call of sleep came. As I dozed off I heard Dr. Akagi talking to the Commander. "She's still alive sir but I'm afraid she's in rough shape. I'm going to have to reoperate on her right arm at the least. I believe some of the pins I put in yesterday have broken."

Great, more surgery. I had spent most of yesterday there after the incident with Unit Zero. I was not thrilled b the prospect of more.

"Right. I'll deactivate her card until the 29th. It's for the best. We need her to get better before she pilots again."

What? Keep me away from Eva until I was better? No they wouldn't . . .

As I felt sleep make it's final push to claim me I made a mental note to talk to Dr. Akagi about the pain medication and sleeping drugs she had been giving me. Despite what she said the combination had to be toxic. They left you feeling unfocused and fuzzy around the edges as well as nauseated. Yes, I would have to remember to talk to her . . .

Ritsuko stood silently in the glass filled observation room, staring at the form of Unit Zero below her. The orange unit was still largely encased in bakalite and it would be thirty-nine days before it could all be removed and the unit made ready for battle. That was perfect since its pilot would be ready in thirty-eight. It would seem she'd get a day of rest before she was back to work. Behind her Ritsuko heard the door open and the Commander enter. "How is the Unit Zero recovery going?"

"On schedule. She will be ready in thirty nine days as planed."

"Very good. Keep me updated on your progress."

"Yes. Sir."

Gendo turned to leave but much to her own horror, Ritsuko called out, "Are you going to visit Rei?"

"No."

"But you haven visited her since the battle. Aren't you going to see her?"

"I have no intentions of visiting Rei." He replied gruffly.

He turned and walked out the door leaving Ritsuko standing flabbergasted on the observation platform behind him.

I awoke to the sound of a heart monitor rhythmically beeping near me. I groaned and opened my eyes, wondering where I was. The blank white ceiling of Nerv medical sector greeted me. I knew right then where I was; lying in a bed somewhere with in the Nerv hospital where my day had started. From the corner of my eye I could see the afternoon sun coming through the window. I could no longer feel the restrictive plug suit around me so I must be wearing on of the green hospital gowns now. So I was no longer needed to pilot. I could feel a pang of sadness maybe even regret and jealousy that I was no longer useful but I knew I was in no shape for it. In fact I couldn't feel much of anything which told me that they had drugged me up on their strongest painkillers. Probably a good thing since my body was a wreck at the moment. Slowly my mind drifted back to what had happened. The first angel battle seemed more like a dream to me then reality at the moment but I could still feel Ikari-kun arms around me when the Angel's core exploded. He'd been trying to save me. Not that that was possible.

I heard the door open and Ikari-kun entered followed by Captain Katsuragi. I don't think either of them expected me to be awake yet. He looked slightly nervous about being here but the Captain pushed him in my direction. "Hi." He mumbled weakly.

"Hello." I replied.

"How are you feeling?"

"Fine."

"But . . . you're hurt so bad. . ." He stammered.

"Nerv has powerful painkillers to remove the pain. I can't feel a thing."

"I see, must be nice to not have to feel it. So how long are you here for?"

"Until Doctor Akagi tells me I may leave."

"Oh, you mean Ritsuko."

"Yes."

Ikari-kun took my good hand in his and lifted it from where it lay. "Ayanami . . ." he stammered

"Yes."

"I . . . I . . . I thought you were extremely brave today. You were willing to fight despite your injuries and all I could do was let you. I am such a coward. I should have stopped you and gone myself. You hurt even worse now because of me."

"I don't think you a coward. When you were needed you did what you had to do. I'm still alive because of you . . ."

I wanted to say more. To tell him how much he had helped me. How grateful I was that I hadn't died and returned as the third but I couldn't say any more. My voice had failed me. Ikari-kun squeezed my hand and a bolt of pain raced up my arm. I winced briefly but as it subsided I felt relieved. I could still feel after all. "Good bye Ayanami." Ikari-kun said.

"Good bye." I replied.

The pair of them then turned and slipped out the door. Moments later the nurses entered to wheel me down for more surgery. Ikari-kun and the Captain must have just missed them. As I was transported down the hall I passed Ikari-kun and the Captain. He looked surprised to see me and turned around so he could watch my passage down the hall. A few doors down The Commander stepped out. He asked me how I was doing and I told him I felt fine. It was a lie though; I couldn't feel anything at the moment. He didn't seem care through; the Commander just nodded and accompanied me down the hall. They placed a mask full of sleeping gas on my face and left me in a waiting room. I dozed off before anyone came to get me.

For the next three days I was confined to my hospital bed. To weak to walk I spent most of my time occupied with the small collection of books, anime and manga Dr. Akagi had left me with. However they mostly didn't interest me so I was bored quickly. Oh, and of course there was a t.v. It didn't get many channels though. Can I take this moment to add in that afternoon soaps suck. I had no visitors either so I was mostly left to my own devices. No that there where many since I was in such bad shape. Late in the afternoon, four days since the Eva battle, Ikari-kun showed up unexpectedly. It was a wet afternoon and he had come in out of breath and dripping wet with rainwater. "I came to see how you were doing, Ayanami." He explained shyly.

"I'm feeling much improved but it will be another thirty five days before I can return to active pilot status." I replied.

"I see. Then they won't need me much longer. After that my father won't need me anymore and I'll be able to leave."

"But Eva will have no pilot if you leave."

Shinji looked frantic, and panicky. He backed away slowly from me and his hand wrapped around the door. "What are you talking about? Are you trying to tell me there are more Evangelion units than that one! How many more are there?"

"There are three. I am designated pilot of unit zero but she is in repair and unusable after the failed activation experiment five days ago. Then there is unit two but she is in Germany with the second child right now."

"And what about unit one?"

"She has no pilot. She rejects Pilot Sohyu-san, the second child, completely and I am not able to pilot her as effectively as unit zero. I am only a substitute plot until a proper one who can use her full potential is found. "

Ikari-kun groaned and I knew at the moment that he realized he was trapped, bound to Eva. He looked over at me with a pleading look like he wished I would recant what I had said. "It's me. Isn't it? I'm the third child. Pilot of unit one"

"Yes you are."

Shinji turned and stared out the window unable to look at me anymore. He seemed lost in thought and didn't speak for the longest time. Suddenly he turned and looked me in the eyes, "Ayanami," He asked slowly "When did you become a pilot?"

"About four years ago by now."

"Why did you agree?"

I had to consider this question for a moment before I answered. Why had I become an Eva pilot? I had been created, so from the beginning I had had nothing. Becoming an Eva pilot had been the only thing and the best option I had. It was a way to prove who I was and give myself an identity. "Because I have nothing else."

"What happened to all of them? You family and friends I mean, don't you have any one who would be saddened if you died?

"No. I can't remember. . . I don't think I ever had anything to begin with . . ."

"That's so sad. Everyone should have someone who cares about them. Especially you. Since you have such a dangerous job."

Shinji starred at me intently as if he was trying to get the importance of his message through. While I had to agree I didn't think it was as meaningful as he did. Unexpectedly his eyes lit up. "Rei? Can I write on your cast?" He asked.

I was surprised by such an odd request but it wasn't unreasonable so I agreed. No one had ever asked to write on my cast before. Shinji pulled a back marker from his pocket and removed the cap. In careful handwriting he scribed, _Get well soon, Rei. Shinji Ikari._

When he was done he blushed and stuffedthe penquickly in his pocket. I ran my finger gently of the inscription in wonder. _Someone cared. _

I touched the inscription on my cast. I wasn't quite sure what I thought about the younger Ikari. At first glance he seemed to be a scared boy with no backbone but a second look seemed to say different. He'd tried to shield me from the blast of the angel's core and he'd even checked up on me several times since the battle. Kind and compassionate or weak and scared? I still wasn't sure what to think of him but I hoped he'd stick around so I'd have time to figure it out.

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So how was that one. Trust me it breaks with the series even more later on. Well unitl then oh and don't forget to review 


	3. Shinji

I basically just wrote this because I was bored but it came out pretty good so I'll let you guys read it. It centers around Shinji's view of events from the arrival of Rei to when Ritsuko knocks him out.

Read, enjoy and review please!

And finally I don't own Eva. **

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**The Girl in White Bandages: The True Confessions of Ayanami Rei**

**_Shinji's Pov. From Ch. 1_**

When his father had first mentioned Rei, Shinji had felt momentarily relieved. The feeling didn't last long though. The minute Rei was rolled through the double doors he'd stood frozen in shock and horror. The girl on the bed looked like she belonged in a hospital not in the Eva fighting that thing. One arm was in a cast and the other was wrapped up and connected to an I.V. bag. She had a large amount of bandages around her chest and also over one eye. The creepiest part though was her red eye that starred blankly back at him. Shinji wasn't sure what he had expected Rei to be but he was sure it wasn't her. "Father is this Rei?" Shinji demanded.

"Correct."

Shinji had tried to protest the fact that his father was making her pilot but his father interrupted him to tell Rei that it was time. Slowly she had got onto her hands and knees and made to slide off the bed. Suddenly a shock wave hit Nerv throwing Shinji to his knees and knocking Rei's bed out from under her. She hit the ground hard landing on her stomach. To no ones surprise she lay there for several minutes gasping and wincing in pain. However Shinji was shocked to see her hand seize the side of the bed and Rei pulled herself to her feet. She stood there for a moment catching her breath and then she began to walk unsteadily. Drops of blood hitting the ground in the wake. She made it to the stairs that lead to the Eva and began to ascend. Shinji felt slightly relieved. Maybe she wasn't as hurt as she looked. He thought hopefully.

Shinji watched as she made it nearly to the top. Out of nowhere a second shock wave struck. Shinji was once again on hands and knees in the back ground he heard a woman cry out. The shaking stopped and Shinji spotted Rei laying on her injured at the bottom of the steps. He was there in a flash. He gently picked her injured body off the floor, cradling it in his arms. She unnaturally light seeming to weigh almost nothing. She seemed so weak and fragile like one could just snap her in two. Across her face Shinji could read the clearly defined lines of pain and agony. Shinji could see now that she was hurt, bad. What he'd seen earlier were the effects of strong painkillers and an iron will. Shinji glanced over at the Eva and back at her. This was wrong there was no way she could pilot that thing in her condition. She should be in a hospital and anyone who said other wise wasn't human. Shinji turned to lay her back on her bed, cursing his father for being so heartless and cold. Vaguely he half wondered where her family was.

The next thing he knew, she'd reached out with one blood covered hand seizing him by the collar; leaving a blood soaked hand print. She pulled on it forcing him to lean closer. "Eva." She hissed between two pale lips. "Eva."

Shinji starred at her in horror. Rei actually wanted to go into the Eva. Why? She'd die. After a brief discussion with his father they agreed that she should get inside. Shinji's heart went out to her. She must be very lonely and unloved if she was that desperate to die. Shinji could empathize. Carefully he carried her up the steps. At the top he found the open hatch to a giant tube waiting. He saw several nearby people motion him towards it so he went through. He could faintly make out, in the middle of the large cavernous space he found himself, a single chair. He lay Rei down in it. She was still in pain although not as much as she had been. He cast one last sympathetic glance at her and turned to leave. As he went tostep back outsideRitsuko appeared in the entrance. She raised her hand and aimed a spray bottle at his face. "I'm sorry." He heard her say "but this is the way it has to be."

She pressed down and noxious fumes hit Shinji in the face. He staggered back feeling weak and woozy. She sprayed him again and this time everything spun. He saw the floor moving towards him then black.


	4. Many Bruises Not A Brian

Okay so here it is! Chapter 2!

Incase anyone was wondering, when I had started writting this I had originally given it the longer tital you see at the top of each chapter but wouldn't let me use the ful title so I had to shorten it.

Finally: I don't own Eva!

Read, enjoy and review.

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**The Girl in White Bandages: The True Confessions of Ayanami Rei**

**_Ch. 2 Many Bruises Not A Brain_ **

I spent the next several days in rehab recovering the strength I had lost. It was grueling and painful most days because Ritsuko wanted me to push my body to its limits so I would get better faster. I said nothing of her regimen because I wanted out of the hospital. By the end of the week I was released from the hospital and told to report to my classes on Monday. I was also informed that I should expect to see Ikari-kun there as he had been assigned to my class in my absence.

I found the thought of being in class with Ikari-kun to be calming. I hadn't seen him since he'd come to see me in my hospital room earlier that week. Part of me wondered what he'd been doing since then. Logic told me he'd been getting settled in his new home and starting school. Still there was a small voice in the back of my mind asking if he had thought of me.

Next Monday morning I left my apartment and arrived early to school as was my usual habit, both of my arms, upper chest and right eye still in bandages. I must have been a sight to see, after all no one walked around openly in bandages, but no one spoke to me. I reached my desk without incident. I set my bag under my desk and assumed my usual position of an absent minded stare out the window. Having nothing better to do my mind began to wander as I waited for class to start. I didn't really like to think like this. It brought up too many questions and I started to wonder about things. If I let my mind go too far it would tend to wander down into the dark depths of my soul. I didn't like it down there, it was cold and depressing. I often questioned if there was even a point to my existence and why I didn't just kill myself already. I got so sick of me and my life I often just wanted to disappear, forever. That's what was waiting for me down there. However I found it impossible not to think. I had to wonder about myself, my motives for piloting, and Ikari-kun.

_The Commander, you have nothing so you try to fill yourself with him, hoping that will give you what you want. You're like and empty scarecrow trying to fill yourself with straw. But now his son asks you questions that make you question your loyalty to the Commander and your reason for joining Nerv. Admit it, secretly you hate the Commander. You know he's got you by the collar and you don't like it. _

Never.

_Then why did you agree to pilot Eva? Even though you know what it cost you to do it. All the pain and suffering that could have been avoided. _

Because I have nothing else. If I don't pilot I will be nothing. I will be lost and disappear.

_True and why will you be nothing if you don't pilot?_

If I refuse the commander will have me eradicated.

_Exactly which means you're bound to his will if you wish to live? So I was right._

Shut up and go away. You don't know what you're talking about.

I forced myself back to the present when I heard Class Representative Horaki-san call, "Rise. Bow. Sit Down."

I went swiftly through the motions and returned to my seat. I glanced at the podium as the Sensei began to speak but upon hearing it was more of the same I focused my gaze out the window. I tried to ignore the voices of my classmates around me, yet I found it impossible not to hear the voices of the girl ahead of me speaking to the boy beside her. "You'll never believe what I heard about the new kid." She said excitedly.

"What? What did you heard about that Ikari kid?" He asked.

"I heard he's an Eva pilot. Can you believe it? That wimp in one of those things?"

"No way!"

I tuned them out and focused on counting the passing clouds. This created a hypnotic effect that almost put me at ease. Something flashed on my computer and I looked over to see that I had received a new message. Behind me I heard commotion erupt. I adjusted my gaze to see most of my class had gathered around Ikari-kun asking him about being an Eva pilot. From the corner of my eye I caught him glancing at me; questioning why I had said nothing about being a pilot earlier. It was simple. I didn't think it was important or worth the trouble. I glanced briefly at my classmates noting their reactions. Most seemed curious and star struck, except one. Suzahara-san looked furious about something. He said nothing but based on passed observations I knew he would soon enough.

As I was waiting to buy my lunch from the school cafeteria later that day my cell phone went off. "Rei, another Angel has been sighted. Inform the Third Child and return to Nerv imminently." Instructed Subcommander Fuyutsuki's voice from the other end.

"Yes, sir."

I clicked off my phone off and quickly made for the front doors where I had seen Ikari go along with Suzahara-san and Aida-san. When I found them they had obviously been fighting and it looked like Suzahara-san had just knocked Ikari to the ground. I walked up to Ikari and looked down at him, so that I was sure he could hear me. "There's another Angel. You should finish up here. I'll report in first."

I turned and walked off as fast as I could in the direction of Nerv. "Rei, wait for me!" I heard him call.

I heard him start running until he had caught up to me. He smiled weakly at me as we fell into line then looked ahead. We walked the rest of the way back to Nerv like this without either of us saying a word. We pulled out our plug suits and dressed in dead silence. It was a clumsy and awkward task for me to accomplish with only one good arm and the other in a cast so Ikari-kun was finished well ahead of me. He hurried out when he was done and went to Unit One. I walked out more slowly and found a chair waiting for me on the bridge.

I didn't know why I had to be present with Unit Zero still frozen in bakalite down below. There was nothing I could do if anything happened to Ikari-kun. Maybe they thought that if Ikari-kun was defeated and was unable or unwilling to pilot I could sortie in Unit One. It was also possible that they thought that if things became desperate there was a slight chance I would be able to successfully reactivate Unit Zero and go out as back up. None the less I was required to be there and I took my seat with out complaint. I watched as Unit One was placed on the launching platform and disappeared upwards. On the screen I watched the entire battle silently. Saying nothing, even when Ikari-kun had gotten in danger and as it ended I rose to my feet. Unit One was being brought back into Nerv to the sound of Ikari-kun sobbing. It wasn't until I was walking that I realized I had been clutching my hand to my heart the entire time. Why? I wondered.

As I was leaving the changing room I saw a group of Nerv guards escorting a red-eyed Ikari-kun down the hall. He glanced at me and started to say something but the guards nudged him sharply on. I was unable to figure out what he was trying to tell me. I shrugged and turned to leave.

Later that afternoon I sat in a chair in the center of Doctor Akagi's office. It brought me no pleasure coming here, it was too sterile, to clean but if I was to remain alive I had to. "How do you feel today, Rei? Does your arm hurt?"

"No." I replied flatly.

It was the truth. The painkillers were effectively removing any pain I would have felt. I was now on a lower does of it and I felt sure she would lower it again. "Do you think you'll be ready to pilot Eva again?"

"Yes."

She nodded towards the next room. "You know the drill. Strip and go lay down."

I nodded curtly and removed my school uniform carefully with my good hand. I went into the next room and lay down on the cold plastic table. The scanner's lights came on and they began to move, making their way up and down my body. I stared straight ahead silently and waited for the test to stop. Eventually it did end and I rose to my feet. I returned back into her office to dress. Once I was redressed I sat back down in the chair and waited for her to return. She said nothing when she walked back in but tossed the results in my lap. I picked then up and scanned over the pieces of paper. They stated that my injuries where healing at an appropriate rate but I still had a ways to go before I would be back to normal. "I keep my original prognosis. You'll be fit to pilot again in thirty days. You may go home now Rei."

"Yes, Doctor."

At the end of the week when I went for another check up with Doctor Akagi; I learned that Ikari-kun had run away I wasn't surprised he had. Considering the mood he had been in when I had last seen him. I could tell many of the Nerv personal were worried about the next attack. I was still in no shape to fight a third one. Sure I could walk around fine now but I was still in no shape to pilot Eva again just yet. Nerv was going to be in trouble if an Angel showed up anytime soon and they knew it. This however didn't concern me. I had seen both copies of Seele's and the Commanders plan based on the Dead Sea scrolls. Neither of them predicted an attack until after Ikari returned to Nerv to Pilot Unit One. So the chances of something happening otherwise were slim to none.

As predicted no angel appeared and Ikari-kun had returned as the third child. I sensed unhappiness from him the next time I saw him. I got the impression he didn't like being and Eva pilot at all. I think he did it for the praise of others, especially The Commander.

We didn't see much of each other. He was often busy with training tests with Unit One and I was constantly in rehab. The only time we ever saw each other was at school and even there we didn't speak.

The rest of my month long recovery passed with out incident. My cast actually came off four days earlier than expected. This pleased both the Commander and Dr. Akagi greatly. Doctor Akagi gave me new orders for my recovery, which included instructions, to swim at the Nerv pool facility so I could regain my strength and stamina. I reported there later that day. The head of pool care was a short young woman called, Cassie. I had read her file prior to going down there. She was a transfer student from America who was going to Tokyo III University and spoke rough Japanese with a heavy accent. When I first saw her she was carrying a drawing notebook and several manga volumes in her bag but Doctor Akagi had told me she was a prospective candidate to be hired by Nerv for care of the Eva's and me. However she was still a collage student for now and had to make some money, thus the reason she worked at the pool. She smiled and handed me a towel and swimsuit then directed me to the changing rooms. "If you need anything let me know. Okay?" She said kindly.

I nodded quickly and walked off. I changed and headed for the pool. I open the door to be greeted by the strong smell of chlorine. I ignored it and entered. The pool was empty and its surface shone in the afternoon sunlight that filtered though the windows. I laid my towel on a chair and got in. The water was cold and sent shivers up my spine. I took a deep breath and started swimming. Back and forth across the pool I swam over and over. I kept going until my body got too tired to swim anymore and I got out.

I went to school the next day in the full knowledge that this was my last day of freedom. Late today Unit Zero would be freed and moved to the Eva holding bay. Then I would be preparing for the reactivation experiment tomorrow. Still I wasn't bothered by the thought of getting into and Eva again. I trusted the Commander's work. It would not fail this time.

We had gym that day. I believed the gym teacher liked me to be healthy because I always scored well on every event. Today's even was pole vaulting. Not something I particularly liked but I didn't dislike it either.

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Hikari watched breathlessly as Rei cleared the bar in on fluid motion and landed on the cushion on the other side. In Hikari's mind, Rei was undoubtedly the most athletic girl she knew but it seemed she was injured and unable to participate most of the time. Even two years ago when she joined the class Rei had been trying to hide her recently fractured wrist from everyone. However if Rei's body was well she easily put most to all the girls in the class to shame. She could probably be a professional athlete if the Eva didn't keep injuring her. Ironically it was her training to pilot the Eva and come back from all her injuries that gave her her athletic ability.

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Okay, okay I know that was long tedious and boring but I promise the next chapter will be alot better. I'm just getting things going right now. As for this being Shinji/Rei fict you'll have to wait and see . . . 


	5. The Long Dark Night

Okay folks here it is. Chapter 3. After Porlouge and Chaper One I was told that Rei got OOC in several places so I tried to make Chapter 2 sound more Rei like. However I think I made it a little to dry. SO this time I went back to more Porlouge and Chapter One style while still trying to make Rei sound like Rei. Let me know how I did.

So, Read and Review!

And Finally Eva belongs to Gainax not me.'Nuf said. **_

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**_The Girl in White Bandages: The True Confessions of Ayanami Rei_**

**_Ch. 3 The Long Dark Night_**

The next day I reported to Nerv early for the preliminary test that preceded the reactivation experiment tomorrow. I knew Ikari-kun was there somewhere as well but by late in the day I hadn't seen him at all. I was checking some of the configurations on Unit Zero for Dr. Akagi when the Commander found me. "Rei, are you ready for tomorrow's reactivation test?"

I got to my feet and went to stand in front of him. "Yes, sir."

"You're not afraid, are you?"

"No sir. I have faith that everything will go fine."

"Very good. I will expect to hear a good report."

"Yes, sir."

As the Commander was walking away I turned to look at Unit One behind me. Somehow I felt like it was staring right trough me. I felt suddenly naked and bare before her gaze. In actuality it was logically, Ikari-kun who was in there and looking at me. So that's were he was. Still that did not remove the discomfort I felt.

When the test were completed Dr. Akagi dismissed me and I made to return home to rest up. As I was passing Captain Katsuragi's office I heard Dr. Akagi's voice. "So how do you like playing mom to Shinji?"

"Ritsu, you're cruel. In case you forgot that if it weren't for me he'd be living on his own."

"True. So how do you like living with Shinji anyway? The two of you getting along okay?"

"Yeah, he's a great kid. He's really shy and has a lot of hurt feelings he can't express. Still he's trying. You know it's hard to think of him as part of my job, I can't help forgetting he's just another lonely, scared kid like the rest of us, you know?"

"No, not really . . . I'll just believe you on that." She said slowly. "What about Rei? Do you think it might be good for her to move in too?"

"I don't know. It might . . . Rei is just so cold and distant. It's hard to figure her out. It seems like she's only close to The Commander and God knows he wants nothing to do with taking care of her. But what's even scarier is that I find it hard to remember that she's still just a little girl. She's just like part of my job. I don't think anyone would cry if she died tomorrow."

"Is that a no?"

"What, trying to be all analytical now?"

I turned slowly feeling numbed as I made my way out of Nerv. I was cold, distant and forgettable? For some reason the shock of that thought seemed to shake my world to the core. _"I don't think anyone would cry if she died tomorrow . . ." _**No one would care.** That single thought rang through my head until I got home.

Once I was safely alone behind my closed door I lay on my bed starring at the ceiling. The tears didn't come at first but after a long a few silent ones rolled down my face. Was I crying? Were these tears coming down my face? Yes, it was I, Rei Ayanami crying tears full of silent bitterness and regret. I couldn't believe it that I was so unremarkable. I found that despite everything I wanted someone to care. I wanted someone to put value in me for something other then what I did. I didn't want to be a "machine" anymore. I was scared there'd be no one there for me at the end if things continued the way they were. . . I rolled over and buried my face in my pillow. Slowly the shaking subsided and I lay calmly.

The next morning I got up early so that I could shower and be at Nerv on time. I felt much calmer after my outburst yesterday. I took out my clean clothes for the day from my drawers and left them on my bed. Then I went into my bathroom to shower.

When I was done I wrapped myself in a towel and went to put on my clothes. As I stepped out into the open room I noticed Ikari-kun was standing in front of my dresser. He turned to look at me with shock on his face. He was wearing his father's glasses, the ones I rescued from the LCL over a month ago. I had left him on the counter in an old glasses case. "Rei, . . .I . . .I . . ."

I stepped forward and tried to take them from him. They were fragile and should be well cared for not being worn by him. Ikari-kun got scared and backed up against my dresser causing him to slip. He took me down with him and the two of us ended up in a heap on the floor. I seized the glasses from his face and got back on my feet. I set them back in their case and snapped it shut. Thankfully they were undamaged. They meant a lot to me. "Yes, Ikari-kun?" I asked as I began to dress.

"Rei, . . .I. .Uhm . . ."

I turned and looked at him. He blushed crimson and turned to look away. Ikari-kun was upset about something, I noted. "What do you want Ikari-kun?" I asked again.

I straightened my shirt and began to put on my skirt. Ikari-kun was still stuttering and wasn't making any sense. After a few minuets I was dressed and ready to go. I went to leave, "Good bye."

I slid the door shut behind me and made my way for the train station along my usual rout with Ikari-kun behind me. I arrived just in time to catch the train and got on board. We rode all the way to Nerv in silence. Ikari-kun kept looking at me from his seat across the aisle but neither of us spoke. I was still waiting for him to answer my question but he was unwilling to. When I made it to the gates I tried to slide my card through the lock but it wouldn't accept it. I glanced down confused. I knew I had been given a temporary card to use until the activation experiment today but I thought it was supposed to last through today. I starred at it wonder; why it wouldn't work? I didn't think it would expire until I'd been given a new one. Ikari-kun appeared beside me and handed me a new card. "I was supposed to give you this." He said sheepishly.

I grabbed it and slid it though the lock. A green dash appeared and the doors slid open. I went forward leaving Ikari-kun behind me but he quickly caught up to me. He went with me to the escalators and got on. "You have a reactivation test with Unit Zero today, right Ayanami?"

"Yes."

"Well, aren't you scared Ayanami?"

"No. Why should I be?"

"Well, because last time you got really hurt. It's only natural . . ."

"Don't you have faith in your own father's work?" I interrupted him.

"No! Why should I trust anything of his? Especially after what he's done . . ." He demanded loudly.

A wave of intense anger rose up with in me. I had never felt anything like this. I was absolutely furious with him. His father was a great person, how dare he not trust him. I couldn't even begin to articulate how mad I was. I did the only thing I could come up with; I turned around and smacked him with all my strength. Ikari-kun yelped in surprise and placed his hand on his cheek. I turned and resumed my facing forward position. Behind me I heard Ikari-kun mutter, "How can you trust him with your life?"

I chose to ignore his comment. I kept glancing down at my hand as it began to sink in that I had slapped him. I had never done anything like that before. I was normally calm and controlled; such a rash action was unheard of. We reach the changing rooms in silence. Ikari-kun seemed unwilling to talk and I had no desire to engage in further conversation. I changed quickly into my plugsuit and made my way upstairs to Unit Zero. I nodded up at the bright orange cycloptic face while I waited for the okay to get inside. It had been over a month now since I had looked at its face with my own two eyes. Unit Zero was impressive as ever I noted. I was struck by the fact that it's orange coloring continued to remind me of the bright LCL it floated in. The orders to get inside came momentarily and I made my way up to the loading platform. I stepped inside and took the pilot's seat. LCL rushed in and I took several deep breaths of it as it passed over my head. It smelled like blood and I didn't like it. I never had but I forced myself to ignore it. After a brief pause I felt the familiar comforting sensation of merging with the Eva's soul. In the background was the system countdown. I heard Lt. Ibuki's voice announce the clearance of the boarder line. "How does it feel to be in Unit Zero again?" Asked Dr. Akagi over the com system.

"No problems."

"Good then we shall resume with the reactivation test momentarily."

"Understood."

I glanced out of the screen and saw Ikari-kun standing on the bridge watching me. Why was he there? Wasn't he upset that I had struck him? It appeared not. His cheek was still red I noticed. I must have hit him harder then I thought.

Beep! Beep! Beep! The blare of the alarms going off hurt my ears. I glanced up in the direction of the sky. The enemy was here. "Rei we're aborting the test."

"Understood."

The screen went out and the lights dimmed. I sat back and sighed. Bubbles of oxygen floated from my mouth and dissipated into the LCL around me. A short time later I was standing on the bridge; watching patiently as Unit One was being prepared to launch. I wished him luck silently. Unit One disappeared upward in a flash. I watched its rapid ascent on the monitor. No, my senses warned me. He should turn around. The enemy was waiting. It was going to attack him. "Ikari-kun!" I screamed involuntarily.

The next thing I knew I found my self-hanging over the railing, arm outstretched at Unit One. I caught myself before I lost my balance and fell. I quickly resumed my former position and looked around to see if anyone had noticed my outburst. It looked like no one had.

What had provoked that eruption of emotion? I wasn't feeling odd at all yet twice now I had done things uncharacteristic of me. I wondered if I was beginning to lose it. With in moments my fears were confirmed when I heard reports of a high-energy reaction building up with in the angel. "Shinji get out of the way!" Captain Katsuragi screamed.

I knew it was too late, he wouldn't be able to dodge. Ear piercing screams flooded Nerv as the Angel's particle beam hit Unit One. I cringed as the horrible high-pitched sound offended my ears. In less then a minute it was all over and Unit One was being pulled back into Nerv. I followed Captain Katsuragi to the medical wing to learn if Ikari-kun was okay.

When I reached the hospital wing Ikari-kun was asleep in one of the hospital beds. Captain Katsuragi was already there checking on him. His face looked pale and thin. I got the distinct impression he would be out of sorts when he first woke up. "Right. He'll wake up in about seven hours." I heard a nurse say.

"Okay then."

She turned to speak to me. "Oh, Rei. I want you to stay; we may need your help here."

"Understood." I replied.

She went to leave but I stopped her. "What should I do until I am needed?" I asked her.

"You've got good eyes, right? I want you to observe some tests I'm thinking of running. Maybe you'll spot something."

"Yes, ma'am."

I followed her upstairs to the observation room to see what Captain Katsuragi had planned. For the next two hours I along with Major Katsuragi and several other upper level Nerv personnel viewed footage of several test that were run. I watched as several fake Unit One and Zero's were destroyed along with other miscellaneous military gear. "It has no weaknesses." I commented when we were done.

I saw a general murmur of agreement go around the room. "Right. It seems to be pretty impenetrable. Almost perfect defense and offense."

"It seems to annihilate anything that comes within a certain distance." Lt. Ibuki stated.

"Exactly. However we have a chance. We need to penetrate it barrier with a single hi-powered shot. Do we have any gun powerful enough to do this?"

Everyone looked around nervously at each other. I sensed that it was a negative. "We don't have anything with that kind of firepower." Was Hyuga's response.

"They're making an experimental riffle at the Shinjuku facility might that work?"

After some hesitant moment a general murmur of agreement rippled through the room. "Right. Aoba, how long until the Angel penetrates the final barrier. It will penetrate Nerv's final defense layer in approximately 10 hours a little after zero hundred."

"Then let's get to work people!"

The first task was formulating a plan. It came down to a very simplistic set up. One of the Eva's would be the sniper and the other would be the shield. That was of course assuming Ikari-kun agreed. If he did not I would go out alone with no cover. However that would have to wait until he woke up. Until then there was the matter of acquiring the gun and making it work. That was my job. I went with the Captain to Shinjuku to get the gun. We were airlifted there by one of the specialty planes made for carrying the Eva's. I rode in Unit Zero the whole way. The restraints around her shoulders felt very restrictive but it gave me time to become accustomed to being in Unit Zero again. I was able to practice using my hands, feet and lower arms. We were left outside a massive building in the outskirts of Shinjuku. I remained outside in Unit Zero while she went inside to talk to the people there. I watched the clouds while I waited for orders to remove the gun. The clouds were light and fluffy today I noted. "Okay, Rei take it away!" Captain Katsuragi's voice crackled over the radio.

I lifted the roof and grasped the gun in Unit Zero's hands. It was huge but it felt like nothing to the massive strength of Unit Zero. I rose to my feet and let the roof fall carefully back into place. From there I was airlifted back to Nerv where I turned the gun over to the Nerv technicians. Once the gun was secured I changed and then was sent to see Captain Katsuragi and Dr. Akagi to be briefed on the specifics of the plan, now being called Operation Yushima. They briefed me on the timetables for the operation. We were to activate our Eva's in three hours and would be launched to the temporary base. I would be acting as shield and Ikari-kun as sniper. The theory was that Ikari-kun would terminate the Angel in one shot and I was just there as a precaution. I was the shield because my sync ratio was lower and this was the first time I had officially piloted before today. I didn't mind, in fact I had never cared about my orders. Still part of my felt . . . less tense knowing I would be protecting him. "We just received the bottom half of one of the old space shuttles. The heat resistant tiles should provide a sufficient barrier however it will only hold for an estimated 17 seconds but the gun takes 21 seconds to cool and two seconds to fire once cooled. An unacceptable total of six seconds difference."

"If something goes wrong you'll have six seconds of being unguarded."

"I see."

Despite the risk I wasn't afraid. I trusted the plan to run smoothly. Once I had been properly informed I was given a copy of the timetable. I was then told to get something to eat and then get something for Ikari-kun. I was to brief him once he woke up and see that he ate.

With that I left for the commissary. I scanned the list of options to see if there were any changes. I had no idea why I did this every time I came here; there were never any alterations in the choices. However this time there was a new item added; a vegetable ramen. To my own shock I ordered it, just like that. I couldn't believe that I had done that. I had never ordered anything but the one vegetarian dish that was traditionally the only one there. I accepted it quietly and took it to my seat. I ate my meal alone as I had done every other evening of my life. I was so used to it that I didn't even notice the silence. I did enjoy my meal though. This new soup was . . . good. I don't know why I made that observation. Maybe the thought of death forced me to acknowledge things. When I was done I went to order for Ikari-kun. I looked over the list for a long time unsure of what he would like. I eventually settled on something that I hoped he would find appealing.

I went into his room and assumed my position on the single folding chair. I watched him silently, waiting until he awakened. Unintentionally my eyes began to wander to the window and the deepening colors of the sunset. It was a vivid red tonight, the color of fresh blood. I hated it. Ikari-kun began to stir and mutter in his sleep behind me, I glanced at him but he still asleep. "Mom . . .mother, wait . . ."

Suddenly his eyes snapped open. "Mom!" He exclaimed.

I looked over and met his eyes. He sighed and lay back. I recalled saying something earlier about him being out of sorts and it would appear correct. "Hi, Ayanami."

I took the write up of the operation plan from my bag and opened it up. "I am to brief you on the Operation Yushima timetables . . ." I began.

I heard Ikari-kun groan and he covered his face dramatically. The thought occurred to me that he might not do it this time. Part of me hoped he would. I didn't want to do this alone. I emotionlessly read off the timetable to him and showed the food to him. He seemed uninterested in any of it. "I don't want to eat." He grumbled.

"We will be leaving in sixty minutes, Ikari-kun." I reminded him.

"I'm not going. How do they expect me to get back in after what I just went through?"

"If you will not then I will inform Dr. Akagi to reprogram Unit One for me."

I left the food there, feeling he might want it and then went to leave. "Rei!"

I glanced back at him. "Yes?"

"They're sending you out alone if I say no?"

"Yes."

He sat silently for several long moments before he replied. "I'll do it." He whispered hoarsely.

"I'll see you in briefing room 201A when you're done then." I replied.

With that I left the room and made my way for the changing rooms. I put on my plug suit for the third time that day and made my way upstairs to the briefing room for the final briefing. Dr. Akagi and Major Katsuragi were waiting for us. Shortly Ikari-kun showed up, dressed and ready; trying to gulp down the last of his food and drink as he entered. He took the seat beside me and listened as the specifics were explained. It ended with Dr. Akagi saying, "As I told Rei earlier I affixed the bottom of one of the shuttles to Unit Zero so Rei can carry it like a shield. However it will only hold for 17 seconds and the gun takes 23 seconds to cool and fire again. So there will be no second shot."

"Do you understand this Shinji?" Captain Katsuragi asked.

Ikari-kun nodded. "Get it the first time." He muttered out loud.

"Alright, get to your Eva's. We'll be launching in fifteen minutes."

"Right!" We said in unison.

I glanced over at Ikari-kun to see he looked determined and unafraid. He glanced back at me as if to say I'll make that shot Rei. I nodded in acknowledgment and we left for the launching area. I made a final check of Unit Zero and got in.

A short time later we were standing on the top of Mt. Yushima. As we were being positioned I noticed the Suzahara-san and Aida-san were watching us and I wondered how they knew where to be. I asked Ikari-kun but he had no answers. We climbed out and sat on the support structure for the temporary restraints. The night around us was cool and dark. I sat back and relaxed letting my mind meditate on what I had to do. "Rei?"

"Yes, Ikari-kun?"

"Aren't you ever scared of anything?"

"No. I have faith."

"How can you be so strong? I'm always so scared at times likes these."

"I . . ."

I didn't know what to say. Why was I so unafraid that I might end up hurt or dead? I didn't know . . . "You know that this could be it? We might not be here in a couple hours."

"No. You will be here tomorrow. I will protect you."

I wasn't afraid to die, I realized. No part of me actually secretly desired it. Yet there was the other half that wanted to fight to the end. Why? What was I trying to hang onto? I had nothing. If I died I would be able to rest. Yet I knew I wouldn't be allowed that until he was done with me. I would live till the very end. Maybe that was it . . .

"Rei . . .I . . .um . . ."

The alarm in my plug suit wrist went off and I looked up. "It's time Ikari-kun. Goodbye."

I climbed into Unit Zero and assumed my position behind the shield while I heard Ikari-kun do the same with the gun behind me. "All right guys everyone ready?" Asked Captain Katsuragi.

"Affirmative."

"All set here." Ikari-kun replied.

I sat back and counted off the seconds until the operation began as I listened to the voices of the people below making final checks. It sounded like everything would run smoothly. So it would all come down to Ikari-kun's aim. Then the final count down began, "This operation will commence in, "10, 9,8,7,6,5,4,3,2,1,0"

"Okay Shinji stay calm and wait until the guides line up in the middle of the Angel."

"Right."

I was waiting; watching the target to see what it would do. I sensed it moments before the sensors did. The Angel was going to counter strike. "Hurry, Ikari-kun." I whispered.

They fired at the same time and the blasts knocked each other off coarse; they crashed harmlessly into the ground. Behind me I heard Ikari-kun changing the fuse and shell casing while he waited for it to cool. In the cockpit the timer began that told me how long until Ikari-kun could fire again. It also had a second purpose, to tell me how long I had to hold on for. I looked back at the Angel when I sensed it preparing for a second strike. "No way. It's going to attack again!" Maya cried.

I gripped Unit Zero's hand tightly around the handle and watched as it barreled towards me. The blast collided head on with the shield creating a blinding wall of light. I dug Unit Zero's legs deep to avoid be pushed back by the force. "Rei. Get out of there dammit!" Ikari-kun screamed.

No. I promised him he would not die. I looked at the clock 17.5 seconds to go. "It's as we feared the shield isn't going to hold up, the Angel's blast is too powerful."

14 seconds and counting. Dr. Akagi was correct; it would not last. I could feel it growing weaker already. As the counter approached six seconds I knew I had two options, get out of the way or use myself and unit Zero to ensure Ikari-kun got the second shot in. I chose the latter with out any hesitation. The defeat of the enemy was worth putting myself at risk. As the last of the shield disappeared I spread Unit Zero's arms wide. The blast hit me hard. I could feel Unit Zero's skin like it was my own warping melting. I focused all my energy on ignoring the pain and staying where I was. I couldn't afford to move; I might block Ikari-kun or leave him unprotected in one area. "Rei, you idiot." I heard him yell at me.

I wasn't moving until it was over. I glanced at the clock 5 seconds. I fully believed my skin was going to melt off my body. I gritted my teeth and counted down to the end. 4.5, 4, 3.5, 3, 2.5, 2, 1.5, 1, 0.5, 0 . . . For some reason I clearly remember thinking at the time that this was the longest 5 seconds of my entire existence.

Suddenly it was over. I blinked and the ground began to spin. I felt sick and then everything went black.

-

Shinji watched in horror as the orange giant tottered and fell to the ground with an earth-shaking rumble. Its single red eye had gone dim. Unit Zero was incapacitated. Oh, no. Ayanami! Was she okay? God he had to get to her!

-

The first thing I remember was a voice shouting and the creak of the hatch being turned. I groaned but had no strength to move right now. Then the moonlighted flooded in. I was able to make out a form near the opening. The Commander? "Rei!"

No it was Ikari-kun. He had come for me. "Rei are you okay?"

"I am uninjured," I said slowly.

To my amazement he began to laugh and cry all at once. "You're okay! You're okay!" He shouted excitedly.

I didn't understand, how could he be both laughing and crying all at once. Wasn't one an expression of joy, the other sorrow? "Why do you cry? Are you not happy?" I asked hoping for some clarification.

Ikari-kun looked at me as if try to tell if I was lying or not. "Sometimes people cry when they're really happy too." He explained when he saw that I truly did not understand.

"I see. I'm sorry but I'm not sure what to do at a time like this."

"Then why don't you try smiling."

I thought about it for a second. Smile? I guess I could do that . . .Slowly I worked my lips into a smile. Ikari-kun looked surprised for a moment then smiled back. It felt good; I hadn't felt this way since . . . I had first met the commander . . .

Ikari-kun climbed inside and held out his hand. "Come on, let's go. Can you walk?"

I tried to stand but when I put weight on my right leg it erupted in pain and I was forced to sit. I looked back up at Ikari-kun and shook my head slowly. "I'm sorry but I am unable to stand."

"Then I'll help you." He declared.

Ikari-kun stepped foreword but slipped in the LCL. He came down on top of me our lips meeting. I was forced back against the seat unable to move. I was . . .stunned. Ikari-kun was kissing me. Let me repeat that, kissing me. It felt . . .nice . . .? This wasn't a dream, a guy was kissing me. It didn't last long though; the minute Ikari-kun realized what he was doing he freaked out and tried to stand. However in the process he pressed against my breast with his hand which only upset him more. He stumbled backward too quickly and tripped, ending up sitting in the LCL. The splash he had made covered him with even more LCL and he was now dripping with it. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry Rei." He stammered as he attempted to get back on his feet.

"It's okay." I told him, "The LCL makes the entry plug slick. It was an accident."

"But, I . . . then you . . . and I . . . "

"I was an accident." I stated firmly.

"Right." He mumbled.

Ikari-kun blushed and came towards me slowly. He gently put his arm around my waist and I put my arm around my neck. Using this I was able to hobble out of the entry plug. We made our way slowly across the ground hoping to meet the Nerv personnel soon.

"Don't ever use those words again." He said as we walked.

"What words, Ikari-kun?"

"Goodbye. Don't ever say that again when you go out on a mission, it's just to sad."

He was serious. He did not wish me to use the word, good bye. "What should I say instead?" I asked.

"I'll see you later, or I'll be back soon, something like that just promise me you'll never say good by again."

"Yes Ikari-kun. I will." I promised him.

A large group of flashlight beams appeared followed by the forms of Captain Katsuragi and several other Nerv technicians. "Rei, Shinji are you guys okay?"

"We're fine, Misato don't worry." Shinji told her.

Captain Katsuragi smiled and wiped her eyes. "Good, good." I heard her say.

Captain Katsuragi suddenly stopped smiling and starred at me like I had done something frightening. "Is something wrong?" I asked.

"Rei, you're smiling."

I touched my mouth to discover that I was indeed smiling. Me smiling.

It turned out that my leg would be fine but I had to wear a wrap around it for the week to protect if from further injury while it healed up. Unit Zero was another matter entirely. Ninety percent of her outer covering was completely destroyed and it would all have to be replaced according to Dr. Akagi. So I wouldn't be able to pilot for a month once again.

The next day I met Ikari-kun on my way to school. We'd both been given permission to come in late so that we could sleep. He seemed to be in a good mood today. He smiled at me as we fell into step. "I hear Unit Zero will be inactive for a month."

"True. The outer covering was badly ruined. It will take a month for Dr. Akagi to get a new one and replace it." I said.

"I'm sure you'll miss being in the Eva, right?"

"No. I will not miss it. However it will affect my ability to practice and improve my sync ratio."

"I don't know how you can't miss it." He said quietly. "Whenever I get in Unit One I always feel safe, like there's someone there, protecting me."

I knew of what he spoke. According to Dr. Akagi each Eva had a soul in its core and from what I understood Ikari-kun's late mother was in Unit One. So his reaction was logical. I however had no parents so I didn't feel the same response. I kept my mouth closed on this and focused on walking. I didn't want to think about what his words meant. Thankfully any opportunity for further discussion was ended by our arrival at school. Looking around it was clearly lunchtime. As we entered our classroom Ikari-kun's friends Aida and Suzuhara-san cornered us carrying a video camera. "You guys were awesome yesterday!"

"Yeah, Kensuke got some great footage of you in action!"

Aida-san held the camera out to us so we could see the screen. On it, the image of the two Eva's came into focus. Unit One was harder to see with it's darker coloration but both were easily seen. As we watched Unit Zero raised a large dark shape and Unit One got behind the gun. It was like watching the battle in hyper speed. From start to finish it took barely more than thirty seconds. It had seemed much longer last night. I watched it a couple of times before I realized why it had lasted so long. I had been . . .nervous? Me? I looked over to see Suzuhara and Aida were looking at us. "We owe you out thanks Ayanami-san for returning Shinji safely to us."

I shook my head, feeling unworthy of the praise; "I was only following orders."

"Nonsense." Suzuhara-san insisted "You put yourself at risk to keep him safe. Any sane person would have hi-tailed it out of there . . . but you; you stayed.

He seemed in awe that I had done something as simple as standing between Ikari-kun and the Angel's blast. I didn't think it was such a big deal but it appeared he thought that this made me this great person. "You were so cool." Aida insisted.

"Yeah, we're really proud of both of you!" Said class Rep. Horaki-san.

"Our Eva pilots are crazy but they rock!" Shouted another boy.

I looked around to see the entire class had formed a tight knot around us. Had Suzuhara and Aida shown everyone the video? Apparently, yes? "We didn't realize how tough you guys were." Said a girl from one side.

I looked around reading awe and gratitude on their faces. Our classmates respected us for what we did. I liked this feeling, knowing someone cared. The next thing I knew everyone was applauding and cheering for us. I glanced at Ikari-kun to see his face was deep red in shame. He gestured back, something about a curve and I realized that I was smiling again. I could feel the blood rush to my face and my cheeks felt warm. Abruptly the applause ended when Class Rep. Horaki shouted, "The Sensei is coming! Everyone take your seat!"

The room fell silent as all twenty students of class 2-A shuffled to their seats and sat down. I was half in a daze, shell shocked by my classmate's reaction, half-pleased by it. I wondered what had prompted this display of support. Had Aida and Suzuhara got the class worked up? It seemed logical. They had been our only classmates that had cared until today. When I turned on my computer I saw that I had received messages from several of my classmates. This was also completely unexpected as this I had never happened before. No one had had ever sent anything to me. As I watched more began to appear until I had one from almost everyone in the class. I ran my eyes over the list unsure of where to begin. Then I spotted one from Ikari-kun. I moved the mouse to click on it. "Ayanami are you okay? I didn't know they were going to do that and I know you don't like that kind of attention. I would have stopped them if I could. Sorry."

I considered his words for a moment before I began to type. "I'm fine Ikari-kun. Neither of us had any power over that."

"Agreed." He typed back "I'm just a bit surprised at being celebrities."

"I believe our status is because of what we are. They realized how much danger we go through every time we get into the Eva. Speak to Suzuhara and Aida. I think they did something."

"Okay."

I focused my attention back on my list of messages. Most were offers to be friends or spend time together. A few were amazingly offers to go out on dates. I was unsure of where to begin or how to respond to all these offers. A single thought stuck in my mind. **_No one would care if she died._** I resolved right then and there to change that.

* * *

So the question is, What will Rei do about the offers of friendship from her classmates? And what will become of Shinji and Rei's relationship? You have to wait and see.

Yes, I know that one sceen was forced but so was the one in the anime. I actually didn't really care for it so I went and wrote one of my own I like better.


	6. Arrival of the Second Child, Asuka Langl

Okay, so _finally_ I've got it done! This took way to long, by my count at least. Well, I just hope you al read and enjoy it!

**_

* * *

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**_The Girl in White Bandages: The True Confessions of Ayanami Rei_**

**_Ch. 4 Arrival of the Second Child, Asuka Langley Sohryu_**

I hadn't been able to do it. I hadn't written a single response to any of my classmate's notes. Despite all my brave talk my nerves had failed. Part of me wondered why I had even considered friendship. I knew my fate and it didn't leave much room to leave a good impression on others. I was the commander's puppet and that was it.

I was however correct in my assumption that it had Suzuhara and Aida that had got the class riled up. From what Ikari had told me Aida had found out about the operation and brought a group of our classmates out to watch it. The rest they showed the video to the next day. Apparently they also had footage from the first two battles. The combination of the three along with their glowing accounts of our "heroism" got the class riled up. The fever died down after a few days but they still treated us with reverence from then on.

They were nicer to us when we had to miss school and they treated us to special meals. I got the feeling some of them did it for status. Class Rep. Horaki-san however seemed to generally take interest in our plight.

For the next several days my visits to Nerv were infrequent but long, often lasting twelve hours or more. Most of this time was spent running tests on me, Unit Zero and me or the dummy plug system. The worst of these was the day I was ordered to Nerv early for the expressed purpose of assisting in the removal of Unit Zero's melted armor. From what I had been told large sections of it had melted to the skin and muscle beneath causing it to be almost irremovable by normal methods. So I was placed in Unit Zero so that I could use its impressive strength to speed up the job.

As I pulled and tugged on the destroyed armor I had to continually remind myself that I wasn't ripping up my own skin. It was slow work but by late I finally got the worst of it off. Exhausted and aching with lingering pain I made my way home for the night.

The next afternoon a knocking at my door awakened me. "Ayanami, it's me! Can I come in?" Called Ikari-kun's voice.

Groggily I pulled myself from my bed and made my way towards the door. I fumbled with the latch for a minute then the door slid open. I couldn't remember why I locked the door and I barely recalled even performing the act. Harsh sunlight met my eyes and I squinted to see Ikari-kin. He blushed crimson and looked away when he saw me standing on the other side in my shirt. I glanced down as I remembered Ikari-kun became uncomfortable around me when I wasn't fully dressed. "Rei, I'm sorry. Were you still sleeping?"

I nodded in response and explained, "Dr. Akagi had me at Nerv until late last night working with Unit Zero."

"Wow, Ritsuko can be mean. Should let you get back to sleep and come back later? I don't want to impose."

I recalled the time on my clock and decided it was late enough. I need to get going or I would be late for the meeting for the Commander this afternoon. "No, I've have slept enough; come in. What did you want to see me about Ikari-kun?"

He took my offer and followed me inside. He sat down on my bed while I splashed cold water on my face in an attempt to wake myself up. "What did you want Ikari-kun?" I asked him when he seemed afraid to speak.

"I heard my father has ordered the Second Child and Unit Two to come to Nerv HQ from Germany."

"That is true."

I had been told of the Second Child's coming two days before when the Commander had instructed me to read her file. Pilot Sohryu was listed as outgoing and strong willed person. She was however noted as having few friends. As a Pilot she was exceptional and devoted to willing accept orders without fail. I had also learned about her dark past with her mother's suicide. Ikari-kun's voice interrupted my recollection forcing me back to the present. "Ayanami, I hear she's the best Pilot Nerv has. Do you think father will have her replace us?"

I grabbed my towel from the rack and pressed it against my face. I patted it several times until my face was dry. Then I glanced up at him through the mirror, "No," I replied firmly "We have experience against multiple angels, but she has none. The Commander will have us work with her to help her gain combat training. I will be the only one who might lose out because my numbers are the lowest. You have done well since you started and have nothing to fear."

"Really? Doesn't that worry you at all?"

I paused in the middle of hanging my towel and shook my head. While I knew what the second child's coming would mean for me, being on backup frequently and waiting an extra fifteen days for Unit Zero's repairs I had no prior apprehensions. I would not go anywhere, the Commander still had a use for me. "No. The Commander still needs me. He won't send me away, yet."

"What do you mean?"

I sat down next to him. "I'm still needed to Pilot." I replied.

He looked baffled for a moment as if he wasn't expecting the answer I gave him. "I see. So are you coming with Misato and me to meet the Second?"

I shook my head in response. Part of me would have liked to have gone but I had other plans. "No. The Commander has ordered me to accompany him to Antarctica."

"That's a shame. It would be nice if we could meet her together."

I nodded. "Agreed."

A few days later I was called into the Commander's office. When I entered I found him sitting silently at his desk, concentrating on a document in front of him. I stopped in front of his desk and waited for him to acknowledge my presence. He made me wait for many minutes for that to happen. I read the back cover of the report while I waited, it said, _Seele Review of the 16th Interim Report on the Instrumentality Project._ I had accidentally seen part of the last one of those the Commander had received, it hadn't been pretty. Seele had repeatedly chastised the Commander for his recklessness and not focusing on the goal.

My wait ended when The Commander looked up at me and motioned for me to sit in the chair opposite his desk. "Rei, I know I planed on taking you to Antarctica with me but Seele has changed my plans and the trip must be postponed. I want you to go you with Captain Katsuragi to meet the Second Child and Unit Two instead." He explained.

"Yes, sir."

"Very well. How is Unit Zero?"

"No problems."

"And school?"

"The same. No problems."

"Good."

Two days later I found myself in a helicopter over the Pacific Ocean with Major Katsuragi, Ikari-kun, Suzaha-san and Aida-san. I sat by myself in the far corner dressed for once, not in my school uniform, by Dr. Akagi's suggestion. I was wearing a loose white cotton t-shirt with a pair of blue jean shorts and on my head was a light green bucket hat. I was spreading sunscreen on my long pale arms while I studied a map of the ship we were heading to.

Personally I disliked sunscreen finding it greasy but since I would out in the sun all day I had to use it if I didn't want my albino skin to become sunburned. According to Dr. Akagi It was worse for me to become sunburned than most people because I had no natural protection against it. Fortunately it had only happened once before according to my memory but after that Dr. Akagi had perfected a medication that helped prevent sunburns and reduced the discomforts such as sensitive eyes that albino's suffered from. It wasn't perfect though so I still had to put on sun screen if I was going to be out in sun for long.

The map was for a completely different reason. I had a secret fear of getting lost or disoriented in a new place, one reason I had Nerv's layout memorized by heart, so I was always careful to know my way around.

"Touji! Look! Oh, my god is that the Pacific fleet?" Aida-san exclaimed.

I looked up to see what he was yelling about. Several large ships, I believed they were aircraft carriers, could indeed be seen on the horizon. "That's our destination right up there! Hang on guys!" The Captain called out to us.

Over the next few minutes we rapidly approached the leading vessel. Up close they were amazingly huge. Even I was mildly impressed. Beside me Aida-san was about to faint or have a heart attack. He was bouncing excitedly up and down in his seat with his camera in his hands shouting wildly. Beside him Suzahara-san was leaning over looking impressed while poor Ikari-kun was trying desperately to get a good look around his two companions. "Hold on to your seats we're coming into to land." Warned Captain Katsuragi.

We landed uneventfully and one of the ships crew came and took the helicopter from us. Aida-san and Suzahara-san began to explore while Ikari-kun looked around hesitantly. Suddenly a gust of strong wind took Suzahara-san's hat from him and he went chasing after it. Ikari-kun and I watched its path with interest. It presently ended up under the red shoe of a young redheaded teenage girl dressed in a yellow sundress. When Suzahara-san tried to get it back a gust of wind caused him to catch a look of her underwear. She smacked him hard for his trouble. She then turned to Major Katsuragi and marched up to her. "Hello. Misato. It's been I while hasn't it?" She asked.

She had a slight German accent but it was barely noticeable. "I know. It's good to see you again, Asuka. You're looking good I see." The Captain exclaimed.

She grinned and puffed out her chest. "My figures really filled out nicely."

Captain Katsuragi nodded. "Rei, Shinji I'd like you to meet the Second Child, Asuka Langley Sohryu."

The Second Child looked at us in surprise. "These two are the great First and Second Children. My god, they're pathetic." She exclaimed.

I felt her hard gaze focus on me. "What's your problem? Afraid of a little sunlight?"

I blinked and stared back at her. She was getting on my nerves already. It wasn't enough to make me show it though. When I said nothing she screwed up her face into a scowl. "Can't speak either? Can you?"

"I can talk just fine, thank-you." I replied stiffly.

She looked slightly horrified for a brief moment and exclaimed, "Mein Gott, the doll can speak."

"I am not a doll." I said for the first and what I figured not the last time.

For a brief instant she stared angrily at me before she turned her attention to Ikari-kun. She walked up to him and flicked him angrily in the head. "What about you? Can you speak?" she demanded angrily.

"Yes, yes. . . I can." Ikari-kun stammered.

"Let's go introduce ourselves to the Captain of the ship." Captain Katsuragi said loudly.

With that conversation ceased. I suspected the Second would have more to say later because she kept giving Ikari-kun and me dark stares. We presently arrived on the bridge to be greeted by the crusty, unhappy character of the Admiral. Almost instantly the Captain and he got off on the wrong foot; arguing about who had authority when and were. Ikari-kun and I were quickly bored and began looking around. On the deck the crew ran around doing various tasks to keep the ship running. I watched with mild interest as one of the planes came into land. I tuned and made my way so I could look at the hallways that connected the rest of the ship and the bridge. Coming up the passageway I spotted the form of Ryohji-san. "Ah, Miss Ayanami it's nice to see you again. Tell me, what do you think of Asuka?"

"She's . . ." I paused unsure of how to end my sentence.

I think Ryohji-san sensed annoyance with her on my part. He laughed and brushed some pieces of stray hairs from his eyes. "Give her a chance, Miss Ayanami. She's not so bad under the surface."

"Yes, sir."

"Really, Rei. You don't have to yes sir me. Now if you'll excuse me I'm going to take a little visit to the bridge."

I stepped aside and Ryohji-san went past. As he entered I heard a groan come from Captain Katsuragi. I wondered if I shouldn't have let him passed. I couldn't have physically stopped him but I would have been able to delay him. I turned to see what was going to happen. "WHAT is HE doing HERE?" The Captain demanded loudly.

"My Katsuragi, you're looking well. It's been far too long." Ryohji-san said trying to sound debonair.

"Stand back you."

"Katsuragi . . ."

"I said step back."

"Relax Katsuragi I was asked to escort Asuka to Japan. Is that a crime?"

"Yes . . ." the Captain grumbled.

She glared angrily at him and he tried to smile back calmly. I observed their interaction from the safety of the doorway. I was aware that they had a past relationship that had been short and fiery then ended abruptly. They had not spoken outside of profession channels since. This was interesting to see them meeting face to face. It ended when Ryohji-san put his arm around the Captain's waist and pulled her from the room calling, "Let's go. I want to show you around."

I followed the others out, last in the line. We made our way down the stairs to the elevator. We took it down to the lower levels where we had lunch and then Ryohji-san proceeded to lead of on a tour around the ship. Pilot Sohryu disappeared during this time and it was a relief not to have her nagging voice in my ear. Unfortunately our reprieve didn't last long. As we were riding the escalator back up to the deck she reappeared at the top. She pointed dramatically at Ikari-kun and me calling loudly, "You two come with me!"

We went with her to some unknown location. She finally stopped at a pair of double doors and swiped her ID card through the lock. The doors opened and we went inside. Before us lay, partially submerged in LCL was the massive red form of Unit Two. Stretching to the floor where we stood was an island of buoys that were clearly used to approach the biomechanical being. Pilot Sohryu took these quickly and climbed in top of Unit Two's left shoulder. "This," She said proudly gesturing at the Eva below her "Is Unit Two. The very fist Evangelion to be approved for actual combat conditions."

"What about Units Zero and One?" Ikari-kun asked.

"Unit Zero is the Prototype and Unit One is the Test Type." I explained.

Pilot Sohryu shot me a furious stare and continued on. "Which is obviously why you got such high scores the first time you got in and why yours won't work right."

I looked over at Ikari-kun to see how he would react to the insult. He seemed slightly upset but not enough to reply and start a verbal confrontation with the Second Child. Hesitantly he made his way out onto the buoys to get a better look at the red giant. I followed behind him. I felt the enemy's arrival moments before the explosion. As the shock waves rocked the ship we were on Pilot Sohryu looked around. "One's here." I heard her whisper.

I lead the way as we made our way out on deck to see what was going on. After waiting for a few moments we all saw it when it surfaced to attack another vessel. A massive white fish like creature with huge fangs. Pilot Sohryu looked at it with hungry eyes and murmured, "Now is my chance."

She turned and seized Ikari-kun wrist in a flash. "Come on, let's go."

I ran behind them as she led us to a new room where the plug suits were stored. I got the feeling she didn't want me here but I wasn't leaving. Pilot Sohryu frowned and pulled me inside behind her ordering Ikari-kun to go back up the stairs or risk castration.

He obeyed quickly disappearing up the stairs and out of sight.

Inside Pilot Sohryu shoved a Plug Suit bag into my hands. I took it out and held it up. _Red._ Said my thoughts. That was the only thing I could focus on was the suits red coloration. "Something wrong with it?" Pilot Sohryu demanded "Is it too revealing perhaps?"

"It's red." I stated simply.

Pilot Sohryu seemed confused for a half second but quickly hid it. "What's wrong with that? I happen to like the color besides it goes so well with your eyes."

"I dislike the color."

"Well, sorry. I guess you'll have to deal with it or stay here."

That was not an option. It would be the most effective if we all worked together. I turned my back to her without another word and quickly began pulling the suit on. We should hurry before the enemy caused more damage. "Ready, yet?" Pilot Sohryu demanded as she shook her mane of red hair out.

I pressed the air release button and nodded. We climbed to the top of the stairs and Pilot Sohryu gave a third red plug suit to Ikari-kun. Then she pushed him down the stairs snapping, "Hurry up. We're running out of time."

He appeared beside within moments dressed and ready to go. I let a small grin escape when I saw the way the suit fit; Pilot Sohryu had had these specially made to fit her. We hurried from the stairs back to the Unit Two. "Um, Sohryu-san. Do I really have to wear this?" He asked as we ran.

"Well, excuse me if that was the best we have!" She shot back.

That was the end of that. We arrived at Unit Two and Pilot Sohryu let the way inside. She started up the activation sequence but red words flashed over the plug walls. Pilot Sohryu turned and glared at us angrily, "You're thinking in Japanese. Think in German!" She exclaimed.

"Guten Tag." I said recalling the one phrase in German I remembered from a visit there a few years ago.

Behind me I heard Ikari-kun muttering some various words. "Um, Strudel, sauerkraut . . ."

"Uh, you two are hopeless!" Pilot Sohryu exclaimed. "Switch language to Japanese."

The language matrix switched and the red lines disappeared to become our surroundings. "Alright. Eva Unit Two lift off!" She cried.

Unit Two rose to her feet tarp around it like a cape. Before we could go anywhere a voice link appeared and the Admiral's voice spoke, "What do you think your doing? You do not have orders to move!" He growled fiercely.

The Captains voice followed right behind insisting "Go ahead Asuka. Show them what you can do."

"Yes ma'am." We all replied in unison.

"What! Shinji, Rei you're in there too?"

"Yes, ma'am Ayanami-san and I are here to." Ikari-kun replied.

"Go get it guys!"

We didn't need to be told twice. "Let's play hop-scotch." Pilot Sohryu declared.

With that we leapt into the air and came crashing down on another ship a hundred yards away. I looked back in time to see the angel destroy one of the ships behind us. We had gotten its attention and it was coming. "Go!" I shouted.

We jumped again and landed on a new ship. This process continued for several minutes with the angel always right behind. Finally we were running out of ships and the angel was not giving up, it was time to make a stand. Unit Two drew her prog knife and raised it as the angel neared. At the last second it leapt into the air. The angel came down on top of us using its superior weigh to drag us into the water. We began to sink helplessly the minute we entered until we were near the bottom. Pilot Sohryu moved the control stick and we began to swim in the water. "I thought Unit Two had Type B armor on and couldn't move in water." Ikari-kun asked.

"Actually we had it switched at the last minute to Type C for water combat. Probably didn't make the report."

"No way."

Pilot Sohryu grinned at him. So off we were looking for the enemy. We hadn't gone far when I felt the hair on the back of my neck stand up. I turned around in time to see the enemies open jaws right behind us. "Turn around!" I cried.

It was too late. The angel's massive jaws came down around Unit Two's midsection with one fierce chomp. None of us cried out but I saw Pilot Sohryu's confidence waiver as she experienced her first pain in Eva combat. "Don't let go." Ikari-kun insisted placing his hands over her's.

"Shut up. You're ruing my concentration." She snapped back.

The angel began to drag us along to some unknown destination. "So what are we going to do?" Ikari-kun asked.

We were getting farther and farther away from the vessel where the power cable was attached. If we got too far there would be a problem. "We need to get this bastard's jaws open." Pilot Sohryu declared.

We all made eye contact and nodded slightly. Then we focused our attention on the job at hand. Open. Open. **Open.** **Open.** Slowly the angel's massive jaws began to give way. Unit Two roared angrily and threw them wide with a mammoth push of its arms. Unit Two readied her Prog knife and turned to face the enemy. "How do we kill this thing?" Pilot Sohryu asked.

"The core. If you hit it, it'll explode killing the angel."

"Right. Thank-you doll."

Now the question became, where was it? The angel roared at us and I caught a flash of red. "It's in the mouth." Pilot Sohryu gasped.

"Careful." Ikari-kun warned us as the angel charged again.

I placed a hand on my stomach reflexively as the gashes in Unit Two burned. We needed to make this quick before the Eva bled out. Unit Two aimed the knife at the target and fired. It was stopped when the angels jaw came down on top of it. Crunch. Pilot Sohryu muttered something angrily in German. I assumed it wasn't good so I didn't ask. As fast as possible Unit Two drew her second knife. "3, 2, 1, Fire! Pilot Sohryu shouted.

On command we all thought fire. Unit Two threw the knife and it landed dead center in the core. The core began to glow red, it was going critical. "Get back!" Ikari-kun screamed.

We ducked as a massive explosion rocked the sea around us. We flew into the air and came crashing down on top of one of the ships. We held a standing position for two second before we fell down.

A short time later we were released from the entry plug and descended the elevators to change. Suzuhara-san and Aida-san were waiting for us at the bottom. "Wow look at Shinji!" they cheered.

Beside me Ikari-kun blushed crimson. I remembered the fact the way Pilot Sohryu's plug suit fit him. I kept my face impassive as I heard them say, "Ayanami looks great in red, right?"

I disagreed completely with their statement. I disliked red with a secret passion and I doubted I looked good in it as they said. Pilot Sohryu was indulging in the compliments from the others allowing Ikari-kun and I a chance to escape to change. I went in first while Ikari-kun waited outside. "So what do you think of her?" Ikari-kun asked through the door.

"She's an excellent pilot and will make a great addition to our defense."

"I know that but what I meant was as a person."

This question took me longer to answer. Sure she was obnoxious and insulting but I wasn't so sure that was all there was too her. "I'm unsure of that . . ." I began slowly "I have only just met her for the second time."

"You met her before?"

"Yes. Right after she was designated the second child. I went to Germany with the Commander to oversee her activation experiment."

"What was she like back then?"

The memory was fuzzy but I recalled her being unhappy and stubborn. I had heard something about her mother's recent death. "She was upset by the recent loss of her mother." I replied.

"She lost her mom. That's so sad. I guess that means she's like us isn't she?"

I straightened my skirt and opened the door. "You may change now, Ikari-kun."

He nodded and stepped inside. "So are you going to answer my question?"

"She seems . . ." I began slowly but was forced to pause so I could find the right word, "Strong and independent."

After reaching the main land we left for home while Pilot Sohryu and Ryohji-san oversaw the turnover of Unit Two. I had been informed by Dr. Akagi that she would be joining our class and expect to see a lot of her around. So I wasn't surprised when she arrived two days later at the front of the classroom. "Alright class we have a new student today." The sensei said.

She turned to face us and smiled charmingly. "Hi, I'm Asuka, Asuka Langley Sohryu."

Ikari-kun, Aida-kun and Suzuhara-san looked shocked and horrified. "It's the demon lady!" they cried.

Over the next week Pilot Sohryu quickly became the most popular female student in out class. I didn't understand the way my classmates awed and admired her. It seemed . . . fake. She did manage to make one friend in Class Rep. Horaki-san. Still I spent my time minding my own business and staying away for her when possible. However one day she came looking for me.

A dark shadow appeared over my book. I knew Pilot Sohryu was there but chose to ignore her. I did not wish to hear what she had to say today which likely were just insults. I moved myself so that I was back in the light but the shadow followed. "So there you are First Child." Came the voice of Pilot Sohyru.

I looked up and noticed that a large group of students stood behind pilot Sohyru and were obviously waiting for my response. "What do you want?" I inquired in my usual monotone.

"I wanted to ask you if you would be my friend." She said in a falsely high cheery voice.

I saw no point in making friends I was fated to die and be reborn to complete instrumentality. My life had no purpose for friendship. Besides what would a clone, and artificial being, such as me need with friendship? That was the whole reason I had given up my one attempt. "Why?" I asked.

Pilot Sohyru looked annoyed. She's probably never been given that kind of an answer before. "Because it would be convenient; we're both female Eva pilots after all."

I sighed to myself. I didn't particularly have any interest in being Pilot Sohyru's or anyone's friend. However I knew I couldn't refuse if I was told to. "If I am ordered to."

"Fine then, forget it!" Pilot Sohryu exclaimed angrily.

She stomped off into the crowed and I wasn't sorry to see her go. I preferred the peace of my book to her violent temper any day. I turned back to my book and continued to read.

Class Rep. Horaki-san approached me after school that day. "Ayanami-san can we talk?"

"What do you want?"

"I know you and Asuka don't like each other but you didn't have to turn her down." She said softly.

"I do not need friendship."

"Ayanami, you don't have any friends surely you need someone to talk to."

"No. I don't . . ."

I turned to go but the Class Rep stepped in front of me. "Rei, don't say that. Everyone needs a friend. Look if you ever just want to talk you can always come to me."

"Thank-you Class Representative Horaki-san but I'm fine."

"No, you're not."

I turned and walked out before I had any second thoughts. I did not need friends.

Towards the end of my month long wait for Unit Zero to complete repairs the next angel arrived. I hadn't been at Nerv at the time; I had been at home in my room starring blankly at the ceiling when the sirens went off. I had reported to Nerv directly and waited in the Pilot's lounge for instruction as I had been told. The Commander saw no point in making me change since there would be nothing I could do. So I was forced to sit and wait. I received a call shortly after the fight was over and was told to see The Commander for a briefing.

I had learned from the Commander that Pilot's Sohyu and Ikari had been defeated in battle. The angel was injured but would be back in a few days. "Ryohji will be giving his plan over to Captain Katsuragi any time now. I want you to observe the First and Second Child's training."

"Yes, sir."

For the next several days I watched at Pilot Sohryu and Ikari-kun tried to master the movements. I watched the dance so many times that I memorized it myself. One afternoon the practice session went especially badly and Pilot Sohryu yelled loudly at Ikari-kun and sat down refusing to try again. "Rei, why don't you try?" Captain Katsuragi suggested.

I nodded and took the pair of head phones. I placed them on my head and stepped onto the mat. The music started and I followed the movements. I didn't even have to wonder if Ikari-kun and I were in sync. I could feel it. The next thing I knew there was aloud bang and Class Rep. Horaki-san was yelling at Ikari-kun. "What's wrong?" I asked softly.

"You guys got Asuka upset." She sated accusingly.

"Gomen. I will go apologize."

Before I could stand up Ikari-kun put his hand on my shoulder stopping me. "No, I'll go Ayanami-san. You wait here."

He left the room before anyone could protest taking both pairs of headphones with him. We waited for nearly an hour before they returned but when they were they were both ready to work. Two days later they defeated the enemy in combat as I watched on. Seeing them do so well in combat I knew I should feel happy but I wasn't. Why do I feel so empty? I asked myself over and over. There was no answer.

I returned to Nerv later that day for a dummy plug experiment. I stripped and took my place inside the tube as usual. However when the test started this time I heard a voice.

Rei

Who?

Rei.

What do you want?

Rei.

Someone was speaking but from where.

**Rei**

It was a voice I recognize but it was different.

**Can you still hear me down here? The cold reflection of your soul. **

Who are you?

**You know who I am. I am everything you once were; everything you are and everything you will be.**

No.

**I even know you secret name and desire**.

Go away.

**You can send me away for now but not for long. Soon I will come to take your place. I will do for him what you can't.**

Never.

**I will take everything from you. Even that which you don't yet know you have. **

I will stop you.

**No you won't. For I am what he truly desires. Once he has me you will be nothing. You can't stop me . . .**

I will . . .

**No I will open the throne of souls and the day of final reckoning shall be bathed in blood! **

Stop it!

**Who's going to stop me? Certainly not you and certainly not him . . . **

There was a long silence during which I felt and heard nothing.

**He does not even know what you are. **

I opened my eyes as the dummy plug experiment ended. I looked around at the Commander and Doctor Akgi. Who was she? What kind of monster where they creating from me? I didn't ask. I had learned long ago that bliss in ignorance was better than knowing the truth.

The next afternoon Unit Zero's repairs were completed and I reported to Nerv for a reactivation experiment. It went smoothly; as planned but when I got out Captain Katsuragi asked to see me.

Misato watched the computer screen as it displayed the children's sync ratios. As usual Asuka had a large lead over the other two, but Shinji was making excellent progress, his score had gone up almost 8 points. Rei was another story entirely. Of the three of them she had the most difficult time syncing. Even in the beginning when she'd first gotten in Eva Unit Zero, it had taken her over seven months to begin to achieve a proper and stable sync ratio with it. Since then Misato suspected Ritsuko had been giving Rei extra coaching with it yet after all that her sync ratio barely went up .5 points. Misato's hunch was that something missing between Rei and Eva Unit Zero that the other two children had, something that made it easy to connect with their Eva's. It was time she asked Ritsuko and talked to Rei about it.

Beep! Beep!

The sound of the test ending interrupted Misato's thoughts. She quickly memorized their final score and relayed it to the children. Then she dismissed them saying, "Good job guys you can go now, you're done for the day."

Misato knew that would make them happy because all three of them had just spent most of their Saturday here at Nerv doing several grueling tests assigned by Ritsuko. On top of that none of them had eaten since 9:30 that morning and it was now almost 5:00. The children's reactions didn't surprise her, except Asuka. While Shinji had cheered and sighed with relief and Rei had given a slight half smile, Asuka could be seen scowling in anger. Misato was confused, and it took her a minute to understand Asuka's reaction. Once she looked at their scores she thought she knew why. For now Asuka held the top spot in sync ratio scores. Shinji was rapidly closing the gap between them and it wouldn't be long until he had an equal or greater score than her.

Judging by the way Asuka forced herself past Shinji and Rei, Misato knew Shinji would get it when they got home, if not before. She wondered if she should go home incase WWIII broke out in her apartment but realized she still had work to do. Misato pressed the com button, "Rei," She said "I want to see you in my office before you leave."

"Yes, Captain Katsuragi." Rei replied.

Misato then turned to Ritsuko. "You too." She said.

Then she went off to grab something from the snack machine to offer Rei since it was her fault she wouldn't be able to go home and eat right away. Misato choose two candy flavored energy bars and a can of lemon aid then went to her office. Rei wasn't there yet but Ritsuko was and she didn't look happy. "What's the meaning of this, Captain?" She demanded

"I'll explain when Rei gets here." Misato promised.

It didn't take long for that to happen and the three of them sat down. Misato began by offering Rei the food bars and drink, which she accepted and then she got down to business. "The reason I asked you two to come here is because I've noticed something that's beginning to concern me. Rei has a much lower sync ratio and skills level then the other two. This isn't just some minor difference, there's a huge gap between them. I want us to come up with the something that will make it easier for her to keep up with the other two. I'm afraid that if we don't think of something that it will not only jeopardize the mission but also Rei's life."

Ritsuko seemed to ponder what Misato had said for a minute then adjusted her glasses and pulled out her lap top. While she typed furiously on the keypad Misato turned to Rei. "What do you think, Rei? You should know Unit Zero better than anyone else."

She sat in silent thought for a minute before replying in a softly, "The core doesn't accept me."

"Why? What do you mean?"

"The core resists synchronization." She replied.

Misato quirked an eyebrow, "Does that mean anything to you, Ritsu?" She asked.

"It just might." She mumbled after a moment.

* * *

What will happen next? Well only I know however I will say this,

In Chapter Six: Class 2-A is told to attend the summer festival and madness ensues. Who will Shinji take Rei or Asuka and what about the rest of the Eva gang?


	7. Kiss, Kiss and a Summer Festival

Okay people here it is! Chapter 5! This has to be my current favorite chapter and I think you understand once you read. Well, enough of that with out further delay here it is . . .

Oh and one final thing, I don't own Eva! Thank-you.

**

* * *

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**The Girl in White Bandages: The True Confessions of Ayanami Rei**

_**Ch. 5 Kiss, Kiss And A Summer Festival** _

"Class I have a special announcement to make."

The entire class slowly shifted their gaze to the sensei at the head of the room. The sensei seeing he had their attention continued. "As you all know, the annual Summer Festival is coming up next weekend. Attendance is mandatory for such events. I want everyone to have a partner to go with come next Friday."

The class shifted uneasily in their seats. "That is all. Dismissed."

Class Rep. Horaki rose to her feet. "Stand. Bow."

Everyone grabbed their stuff and filed out of the room. Shinji left and went out front to wait for his friends Kensuke and Touji to catch up. He leaned against a tree and closed his eyes. This was bad, very bad. The next thing he knew his cell phone was going off. Quickly Shinji fished it from his pocket and pressed it to his ear. "Hello?"

"Shinji, it's me. I've got some good news and some bad news. The good news is that Asuka and I are going to be at NERV until late tonight so we won't be home until tomorrow. The bad news is that that means I won't be able to take you to your cello rehearsal like I promised." Misato explained.

"Okay. I guess I'll see you tomorrow then."

"Yep. Oh, and Shinji? Try not to enjoy yourself too much, if you know what I mean."

"Misato!" Shinji screamed as the line went dead.

In a huff of anger he turned off his phone. "Damn her," he muttered.

Shinji actually enjoyed the rest of his evening alone, free from Misato's teasing about his lack of a love life and Asuka's constant berating about how stupid he was. It was getting late and Shinji was about to go to bed when there was a knock at the door. 'Who could that be?' Shinji wondered. It was far too late for any normal person to be out and there was no way it could be Misato and Asuka. Quickly he made his way to the door, slid the catch and pulled it open. On the other side stood a bruised and rain soaked Ayanami. "Rei!" he cried in surprise "What are you doing here? What happened?"

"Ikari?" she asked meekly "I need a place to stay tonight. Is it okay if I say here?"

"Sure. Of course it's okay. Come in."

Shinji grabbed her hand and drew her inside. He led her down the hallway to the bathroom. He left her there with instructions to remove her wet clothes and went to find some dry clothes for her. Something of Asuka's would have fit best, but a sign on her door proclaiming instant death to him if he put so much as one toe inside forced him to look elsewhere. Among some of his own clothing he found an old t-shirt and a pair of pajama bottoms he hoped would fit. Then he grabbed her some dry towels and returned to the bathroom. Not sure what state of undress she would be in he knocked and called out, "Ayanami, I've got some dry clothes and a couple of towels for you. I'm leaving them right outside the door. Just put your clothes on the bar over the shower."

"Arigato," Rei replied softly after a moment.

Shinji turned and headed to the kitchen to make some tea. He figured Rei had a good explanation and it would take a while for her to tell. Something warm would make it easier plus warm her up. Silently he was relieved tomorrow was a Saturday and he had nowhere he had to be early. It didn't take long for Rei to emerge drying her hair with a towel. Shinji offered her a glass of the tea he'd made and she accepted gratefully.

---

After he had given me my glass he made one for himself and the two of us then sat down at the table. For the next several minutes we sat in silence, pretending to be preoccupied with our tea. Ikari-kun was debating how to ask me about what had happened while I was wondering how to tell him when he asked. He was about to when he noticed a cut on my face was bleeding. "Rei, my god, what happened to you?" he exclaimed as he went to go get some bandages.

He returned and began to gently wipe my face with a wet wash cloth. To Ikari-kun's surprise and my own I opened my mouth and began to speak in a shaky voice.

"I lost my key and could not return home. I tried to reach Dr. Akagi or the Commander but failed. So I decided to come here. While on my way I was attacked by two upper classmen. I was able to get away and came here."

Ikari-kun clenched his fists in anger at the men who'd tried to hurt me. I had to wonder no longer if he considered me his friend and comrade. "What happened? Did they do anything to you?"

"No, they didn't do anything. I got away too quickly." I explained after a moment.

Ikari-kun sighed in relief. "I'm glad you're okay."

I watched the tears the tears come and before he realized it, Ikari-kun was crying. I placed my hand over his and stared at him in concern. "Ikari, you're crying." I said after a moment.

"I'm just glad you're alright."

Ikari-kun put some gauze over my face and upper left arm where I was sporting a large nasty bruise. "Come on," he said, "Let's get some rest."

I simply nodded.

---

The next morning Shinji awoke to find Rei lying a few feet away beside him. For an instant he wondered why she was there but then it all came back to him. The late night door bell, Rei injured and soaking wet. Shinji yawned, rubbed his eyes and stood up. He stepped carefully over her not wanting to wake Rei up. The first order of business was breakfast; then getting Ayanami a new key.

The first thing Shinji did was take Rei's wet clothes out of the bathroom to wash them. After he had collected her things he put her clothing in the wash. Then he went to the kitchen to make them something to eat. On his way to check on her clothes he poked his head in his room to see if Rei was up yet. She was still out and Shinji couldn't blame her. She probably had a long night last night.

Shinji returned to the kitchen and checked on his cooking. He was still there working on breakfast when Misato and Asuka came in the door. "Good Morning, Shinji-chan!" called Misato.

"Hey, you're up early." Asuka commented.

Shinji smiled. "Good morning Asuka, Misato!"

"Have a good evening?" Misato inquired.

"Eventful."

"Ohh, Get some last night did we?"

"Misato! Nothing of the sort happened."

"Ikari . . ." came a small voice from behind him.

Everyone turned to see Rei standing there with a forlorn look on her face. Asuka went pale and Misato's eyes got wide. "What's Wondergirl doing here?" demanded Asuka.

"She got locked out and needed a place to stay the night. Is that a crime?"

"As long as she's not wearing my clothes!"

"What do you think I am, crazy?"

---

A short time later I stood dressed and ready to leave at the Katsuragi door. Ikari-kun stood on the other side of me.

"So you're sure you'll be okay?" he asked.

"Yes. I will be fine."

"That's good to know. Listen there's something I need to ask you."

"What?"

"Do you want to go with me to the Summer Festival?"

I paused for a moment to consider the question. I had no one to go with and had been considering not going despite the fact it was mandatory. "Yes."

"Thank you Rei."

I turned and left, feeling unusually good about the day.

I reported to NERV and found my key first. I then went to see the Commander and Doctor Akagi for blood tests and more work with the dummy plug system. My weekend went quietly after that but unaware to me, things were getting interesting. Pilot Sohryu was making plans of her own.

---

Asuka came home from shopping with Hikari to find Shinji doing homework in front of the TV. "What's up, Third Child?"

"Not much. I'm trying to finish this pile of homework so I can turn it in on Monday." Shinji mumbled in reply.

Asuka looked over at the TV screen to see what he was watching. She frowned, obviously not in favor of his choice. "What? You're watching that crap?"

"Well, its better then some of the other stuff on."

Asuka lifted the remote from the sofa and aimed it at the TV screen. She pressed two numbers and the channel changed. On the screen, a romantic comedy appeared. Asuka flopped down on the sofa. "Ahh, now this is better."

Shinji glanced at her dubiously then turned back to his homework. Really he couldn't understand the shows she watched. He tried to concentrate on his homework but with Asuka constantly commenting on the shows she watched he was unable to focus. Sighing in frustration, Shinji gathered up his things and prepared to retreat to his room. Asuka watched him do this without comment but spoke up when he went to leave.

"What's wrong?"

"It would be best if . . . if I . . . if I had some . . . some peace and quiet." Shinji explained.

"Well excuse me if I'm bothering you."

"Unlike you, some of us have homework . . ." Shinji muttered.

"Speaking of homework, have you decided who you're going with to the Summer Festival yet?"

Shinji hesitated before responding. "I'm going to go with Ayanami, why?"

Asuka's eyes went wide. "What! You're going with Wondergirl? What possessed you to do a thing like that?"

Shinji looked flabbergasted as he tried to explain, "She's not a bad person, Asuka, and if I don't go with her I don't think anyone will."

"Wouldn't you much rather go with me? I'm cuter, smarter and much more talkative."

"Well, sure but . . ."

"Then it's a deal." Asuka explained.

Shinji open and closed his mouth several times but was unable to utter a word. What had he gotten himself into?

---

The next day at school Ikari-kun tried to explain what had happened to me. "Ayanami, can we talk?"

I took my gaze from the window and focused at him. "Yes."

He grabbed my wrist and pulled me from the room before I could protest. Once we were out in the hallway he led up to the roof. After we got there he stood with his back to me for a long time. "I don't know what to do." Ikari-kun said at last.

"About what?"

"The Festival. I promised you I'd go with you but now Asuka thinks I'm going with her."

"You must keep the promise you deem more important."

"What about you? Won't you be hurt if I break my promise?"

"I'm not sure what you mean."

"Won't you feel bad?"

I didn't have an answer for him. Below the five minute warning bell chimed through the school. Ikari-kun stood up and turned towards the door. "Come on, we need to get to class."

"I'll be down in a minute." I told him.

I sat there silently watching the clouds drift by. The words, Ikari-kun wasn't going with me kept running through my head. I had been sitting there for so long that I forgot where I was supposed to be. The voice of Class Representative Horaki brought me back to earth. "Rei, come on. It's time for class to start!"

Methodically rising to my feet, I brushed off my skirt and followed her inside. I assumed my seat and class started as usual. The minutes ticked away as I focused on my usual spot in the sky while I listened to the teacher. From the corner of my eye a blinking icon on my computer screen caught my attention. It was a message from the Class Rep. I hesitated but decided to see what it was.

_H.H.: Rei, are you okay?_

_R.A.: Yes. I have no problems. _

_H.H.: I . . . I've just never seen you space out like that. Well, not out of class at least. You know what I mean_

I looked at the screen wondering if I should ask for her help. I realized that it would be one way to fix the problem. The question was did I want to ask for help? Yes, I would . . . welcome some assistance.

_R.A.: I . . . need some assistance. I have no one to accompany to the Summer Festival. _

_H.H.: I'd be happy to help you find someone to go with._

I glanced over and saw Class Representative Horaki looking at me. I nodded to her and she smiled encouragingly back. I wondered what she was planning but I was unable to tell. I sat silently maintaining my usual position awaiting her response. I didn't take long before I noticed a blinking icon on my computer screen. I clicked on it and saw that it was from Suzuhara-san.

_T.S.: Hi Ayanami. I hear you need someone to go with to the Summer Festival. I'd be happy to go with you._

I looked over to see Suzuhara was receiving strange stares from Class Rep Horaki and he looked unsure about something. I had the impression I had missed something but I felt that it wasn't my place to ask.

_R.A.: If I would not be an inconvenience. . . _

_T.S.: Of course not. I would be honored to go with you._

_R.A.: If you are sure then, I accept. _

_T.S.: Then it's a deal._

I looked back a Suzuhara-san and he winked at me with a smile. I felt compelled to offer a weak smile back.

That afternoon Captain Katsuragi informed me that I was to go to the Katsuragi residence to study with Pilot Sohryu and Ikari-kun. From what I had gathered she had not been pleased with our recent report cards. So I was to walk back with them. The walk back was long and silent. Pilot Sohryu seemed angered by my presence and Ikari-kun appeared unsure how to approach me. We arrived at the Katsuragi apartment without incident and the three of us settled down on the porch to study. For a while all was silent then Pilot Sohryu slammed her book shut. "Tell me Shinji, have you actually ever kissed someone?" She demanded in a condescending voice. 

I glanced over the edge of the book; trying to see what was going on. Pilot Sohyu had set her book aside and was glaring at Ikari-kun. She appeared displeased about something. Ikari-kun appeared embarrassed by Pilot Sohyu's comment. He must remember the time he kissed me in Unit Zero's entry plug. I held no shame over the incident but clearly he did. "Well, I . . . . Um. ... What I mean to say is . . ."

"Get to the point baka!" Pilot Sohyu demanded.

"He has not kissed anyone." I told her flatly.

"Oh, really and how would you know that, Wondergirl?"

"I am aware of the answer."

"Ayanami..." Ikari put in.

"That does not count, Ikari-kun. It was an accident."

"What was an accident?" Pilot Sohyu snapped loudly.

She glared angrily at both of us looking like she wanted to kill if we did not tell. I met Ikari's eyes to read what he was thinking. He was afraid of telling but feeling pressure. This was unnecessary. I would stop it. "He kissed me accidentally some time ago. It is nothing to become upset over, Pilot Sohryu."

"What! He kissed you!"

She turned so that her face was in Ikari's. "You kissed her! You kissed Wondergirl?"

"It was an accident as Ayanami said."

"Hmp!"

Pilot Sohryu looked disgruntled as she went back to her seat. Suddenly she turned to face Ikari. "How about kissing a real girl for once?"

Before he could respond she grabbed him and pressed their lips together. My fingers flexed involuntarily at her actions as a wave of anger welled up inside me. How dare she kiss him? My book slipped of my hand as I rose to my feet. "Stop it, Sohryu. You're hurting him."

Pilot Sohryu let him go and he collapsed to his chair. She turned to face me with murder on her face. "What did you say?" she hissed in scarily sweet voice.

"You were hurting him; he did not express the desire to be kissed."

Pilot Sohryu screamed in anger and raised her fist. It collided hard with my face and jerked it roughly to the side. I stood there, stunned by the force of the blow. My cheek burned painfully. I touched it gently and felt the sharp sting of injured skin. Pilot Sohyu stormed inside, slamming the door behind her. A moment later I heard her bedroom door bang closed. I looked back over at Ikari who sat limply in his chair. "Are you okay, Ikari?"

"Yes, I'm okay Rei."

I nodded feeling relieved. I had removed the source of his unhappiness. I sat back down in my chair and picked up my book. I found my place and continued to read.

Throughout the rest of the week the excitement about the Summer Festival continued to grow. Everyone was asking each other who they were going with and what they were wearing. Generally I stayed out of these discussions but after hearing several talks of this nature I became aware that I had nothing to wear. This would be a problem if I did not have the proper attire for attendance. After some thought I decided I needed to ask Ikari-kun and Class Representative Horaki.

I waited after school on Thursday of that week the day they had cleanup duty together. Once the rest of the class had filed out I approached them. "Rei, is something wrong?" Ikari-kun asked when he saw I hadn't left.

"Don't be shy you can talk to us." Class Representative Horaki insisted.

I took a breath a spoke, "Is a kimono required attire for attendance at the Summer Festival?"

"Yeah, but everyone has at least one kimono, right?" Ikari-kun said.

I glanced at both of them and stated solemnly. "I do not have one."

They both froze in surprise and looked at me in disbelief. "You don't have a kimono?" Representative Horaki asked.

I nodded. They looked at each other and then at me. "Rei, why don't you stay and help us. Afterward we'll take you shopping."

I accepted their invitation and went to the closet to find an extra bucket.

After the three of us had finished cleaning the class room we gathered up our stuff to leave. We left the school and made our way single file down the street. Ikari-kun and Horaki-san seemed to know what they were doing so I let them lead me through the streets of Tokyo III. They stopped in front of several different shops but never went in. After nearly half an hour of walking they stopped in front of yet another store. "Do you think we'll find something here?" Ikari-kun asked Horaki-san.

She nodded, "Yes, we're going inside. This is a great place to find a kimono. Let's go inside."

Horaki-san took the lead and led us inside. All around us hung various kimonos in too many colors and patterns to count. I idly fingered a few but none seemed right. Meanwhile Horaki-san had gone to the front desk and rung the bell. A short heavyset older woman appeared. Her hair was grey with age and her skin wrinkled. Her dark eyes were still sharp and alive behind her glasses. "What can I do for you dears?" She asked in a friendly tone.

"Our friend needs a kimono for the Summer Festival. Can you help us out?" Horaki-san asked.

The woman looked over at me once then twice. I realized that the cause of the stares was the way I looked. An explanation appeared to be required. "I am albino." I explained.

"Oh, I see. Well, come with me. We'll find you something."

I followed the others through the store as they showed kimono after kimono to me. I shook my head at each of them. Nothing I saw seemed right. After I time I found myself at the clearance near the front window. I pulled back two kimonos and there it was. It was colored in shades of blue with delicate orchids painted on. I ran my hand over the material. It felt smooth and soft to the touch. "Ah, you have found a beautiful one. Shame no one wants it. You could wear it though."

I turned to see that the sales woman was standing behind me. "Why not?"

"I don't know. No one looks right in it. You need a fair complexion and dainty features to wear it."

"I see."

"Do you like it?"

I nodded. "Do you want the blue one or would you prefer green, red, or cream. The red would bring out your eyes and make them striking."

I shook my head. "I like the blue." I told her.

"Very well, blue it is."

She lifted it from the rack and carried it to the front counter with a flourish. She scribbled something on a note pad and handed me the kimono along with a key. "Go to the dressing rooms in the back and try this on. Just to be safe, you know."

I nodded and made my way to the dressing rooms in the back. After several unsuccessful tries I found the room that the key opened and went inside.

Once fully dressed I emerged to find the other three waiting on me. Ikari-kun gasped slightly and Horaki-san looked pleased. "It looks great on you Rei. Turn around and see for yourself." Ikari-kun said.

I turned around to face the mirror behind me. For a minute I didn't recognized the person starring back at me. Then I realized that it was me who was gazing back at me from its polished surface. I felt pleased by what I saw. I looked good. A small smile came to my lips as I turned around. "It looks marvelous. Do you still want it?" The sales woman asked.

"Yes."

I hurried to change and the sales woman rang me up. I paid with my Nerv credit card. It was the first time I had bought something so expensive with it. I felt guilty spending so much money but I was . . . happy as we left. We caught the train and rode back home. Horaki-san bid us good night and got off first. I looked over at Ikari-kun as the train pulled away. "I'm glad you're coming to the Festival, Rei."

"Why?"

"Because you seem to not get out much so it'll be good for you to be out with others."

"Is my social interaction problem?"

"No, it's just that, well, you must be lonely living by yourself with no friends."

"I am fine."

Ikari-kun said nothing after that. He spent his time gazing intently out the train window at nothing. From his expression I gathered that he was upset about something I'd said. After a time, I lost interest in watching him and closed my eyes.

The train arrived at my stop some time later and I rose to leave balancing my kimono in my arms. "Good-evening, Ikari-kun. I will see you tomorrow."

"Good-night Rei," He replied.

After much talk and anticipation the day of the Summer Festival arrived. I had sync test early that morning along with the other two pilots so I reported to NERV early. When I reached the locker rooms, Pilot Sohryu was in the middle of taking off her clothes. "I can't believe this; calling a sync test on the day of the Summer Festival. What are they thinking?"

"They want to be prepared if another angel attacks." I stated.

"Well, they could have had it yesterday or tomorrow but **no**, it has to be today."

I blocked her out as I normally did and set my mind to changing into my plug suit. Pilot Sohryu spent so much time complaining that we finished at the same time. We made our way in silence to the elevator to find Ikari-kun waiting for us.

It had been a tradition that no matter what we would always wait at the elevator and ride up together. Even if was only for a simple test and not to face the enemy we did this every time.

Ikari-kun opened the door and let us in before he followed us. He pressed the button for the floor where the tests where to occur and the elevator began to move. I rested my back against the side of the elevator and waited for it to reach our destination. Pilot Sohryu stood with her hands on her hips giving Ikari-kun dark stares. I received the impression that she was upset about something and it was only a matter of time before she exploded. My theory proved correct when she opened her mouth moments later. "So, Third Child, I assume you're all prepared for the festival tonight."

"Of course, Asuka."

"Do you have enough money? The food and games will not be free you know. And what about clothes? I hope you have something better then that shabby thing you showed to me."

"Asuka . . . I don't think it's that bad . . ." Ikari-kun protested.

Pilot Sohryu looked irritated as she frowned at him. She crossed her arms and leaned against the back wall of the elevator. I thought I saw a hint of a smile cross her lips for the briefest second before it vanished.

We rode the rest of the way in silence. When the elevator stopped we disembarked to find Dr. Akagi and Captain Katsuragi waiting for us. They looked unusually stiff and tense. "There is a new enemy hiding in the Mt. Asama Volcano." Dr. Akagi said.

"I want Asuka to take Unit Two out there to capture it. Shinji will go with her to assist and Rei will stay here as back up."

"Why me?" Pilot Sohryu demanded.

"Because the heat resistant armor required currently only fits Unit Two."

Dr. Akagi handed Pilot Sohryu a new plug suit and we were sent to our Eva's. It was a full twenty minutes before Pilot Sohryu appeared. The new plug suit was puffed out making her look like a blimp. "I can't believe they're making me wear this thing." she whined.

"I will go if you do not." I offered.

Pilot Sohryu jumped to her feet and glared at me angrily. "I will not let you in **my** Unit Two ever again." She hissed.

She turned and stalked off in the direction of Unit Two. I watched her go and turned to make my way to the way to Unit Zero. I waited inside there while I listened to the voices of the support crew and Pilot Sohryu. It was over three hours before the operation was complete and both Eva's returned to their cages.

Once everything was secure we were released. I headed directly for the showers after leaving Unit Zero. Pilot Sohryu joined me after a few minutes. "Ugh! I can't believe how hot that was."

"You did very well today."

"Yeah, but I nearly didn't make it out of there."

"But you did."

"Yeah, but I'll never get the LCL smell out of my hair. I'll reek of it all night."

I turned off the shower and grabbed one of the towels. I dried off and redressed as fast as I could. I had to be ready to meet Suzuhara-san on time. I said good-bye to Pilot Sohryu and left for home.

When I returned home I brushed my hair and put on my kimono. I was straightening my obi when there was a knock at my door. "Ayanami-san. It's me, Suzuhara."

"Come in. The door is open." I told him.

The door opened and he came in. He stopped suddenly and stared at me in wonder. "Wow. You look really nice tonight."

"Arigato."

We left for the train and headed for the fair grounds. There were lots of other students on the train from the middle school and the high school. They milled about in small groups. Suzuhara and I found seats and sat down. To my surprise we held a conversation during the ride, a feat I had only ever done with the Commander and Ikari-kun. We all got off at the same stop and walked the block to the area where the fair was being held.

Suzuhara and I made our way through the crowd. He bought me small bag of rice dumpling and we sat on the benches eating them. "Ayanami, I'm sorry but I have to go. There's somewhere I need to be," he said.

I looked over at Suzuhara-san trying to understand what he was saying. "Where are you going?" I asked.

I didn't mind being alone but I wanted to know where he was going. He blushed and lowered his gaze to his feet. "I'm going to see Class Representative Horaki-san." He said in a soft voice.

"Do you have feelings for her?"

I don't know why I asked such a question let alone how it even came to me. Suzuhara looked bewildered buy my inquiry. "I . . . I don't know but I'm positive that I want to, you know… be with her."

"I see. If that is the case you should hurry."

"Thank you for understanding, Ayanami."

I nodded and he hurried off into the crowd. I hoped I had done the right thing, I wasn't even sure I was allowed to do that. Still I as long as he was happy I was sure it was for the best. I watched the crowd go by wondering what to do. I could wander around but the thought of contact with so many other people was nerve raking. I was comfortable right where I was and I saw no reason to move for now.

I had been sitting there for a while when I spotted Ikari-kun. He saw me at the same time and approached eagerly. "I'm glad I found you Rei. I was hoping you could talk."

"Why aren't you with Pilot Sohryu?"

Ikari-kun sighed and leaned heavily against the tree. "I don't know. She's not a bad person, really she isn't but sometimes I just can't stand her. She can be so overbearing and insulting. She makes me so mad."

"You should not run away. You promised to stay with her and by being her you are going against your word."

"I know but . . ."

"You should not run away. You must go back."

Ikari-kun sighed and sat up straight. "You're right. I should get going. Goodbye Ayanami. Thank you for listening."

"You're welcome."

I nodded and he hurried off. I watched him go with the prayer that everything would turn out okay. It had taken all my strength to not advise him to stay away. I was by now familiar with the problems he had with Pilot Sohryu and it unsettled me to see him upset. Still the rational part of my mind had recognized that he had to go back.

After he was gone I worked up the courage to leave my bench. I walked slowly through the crowd looking at the faces of those around me. I didn't recognize any of them. I turned the corner and saw Aida-san buying himself egg rolls. "Ayanami!" he called between mouthfuls.

"Hello, Aida-san."

"Where's Touji? Did he leave you for the Class Rep?"

I had an idea of what he meant but I wasn't sure. "Yes…"

Aida grinned and took a large bite of his egg roll. "Relax, Ayanami. Life isn't meant to be taken serious."

"It isn't?"

"Yep, you can't take it seriously or you'll go crazy and have no fun."

"I see."

I caught myself walking in stride with him through the crowd. It didn't feel weird but I wasn't prepared for it. I forced myself to keep walking. "So are you having a good time?"

Was I? I wondered. "Yes."

"So I take it Shinji and the German fireball are still together. I'm surprised really. They're such opposites. You know I expected him to be with you."

"You did?"

"Yeah, Shinji's always looked out for you and been unafraid to get close to you. I don't know I guess what's I'm trying to say is that the two of you had a connection from the beginning."

I didn't have a response for that. We continued walking in silence eating the egg rolls one at a time. We passed an alcove and I saw Captain Katsuragi with Ryohji-san. Both of them were carrying bottles of sake and were evidently drunk. He had his arm around her waist and he was trying to kiss her. She however was resisting his advances. "Kaji! Don't you . . . I haven't had nearly enough sake, yet . . ."

She lost her balance and he caught her while placing his lips on hers.

I turned out of sight after that and didn't see anymore. Seeing that made me question human emotions. The Captain claimed to hate him but she hadn't seemed very reluctant to kiss him. It was all very confusing.

Farther on we spotted Pilot Sohryu and Ikari-kun walking together. She was pulling him by the hand down the street. Both were smiling and seemed to be enjoying themselves. I felt a small sigh of relief at seeing everything turned out okay.

A short distance away we stopped in front of a game. After studying it I realized it was a contest to knock over bottles with baseballs. "What do you think, Ayanami-san? Want to try?" Aida-san asked.

"Yes."

Aida-san grinned and brought us each a round at the game. He returned carrying two stacks of three balls each. "Ladies first." He said handing me one of them.

I took the balls and stepped up to the counter. A tall man of average build stood behind the counter. He grinned broadly at me. "So you want to hit as many bottles as you can with those three balls okay. Then you get a prize for how well you did."

I nodded and took the first ball in my hand. I tested the weight as I spun in around in my hand. I studied the target bottles and then the ball again. Carefully I pulled the ball back and aimed. I threw it as hard as I could. The ball crashed through the bottles taking several down with it.

I repeated the same procedure with the next two balls. By the time my last one had done its work I had put all but two of the bottles on the ground. Satisfied I stepped back to let Aida take his turn. The man behind the counter called me back. "Miss, you're one heck of a shot. You won the grand prize, don't you want it?"

Oh, a prize for knocking down the bottles. Fair enough. "Yes. I will accept my prize."

The man turned around and reached into a mound of stuffed animals behind him. He grabbed a large one modeled after a white tiger and set it on the counter in front of me. "For you." He said with a grin.

I looked at the giant thing before me. The stuffed tiger was almost as big as I was and amazingly life like. I wrapped my arms around it and lifted it from the counter. I was careful to hold it so the tale didn't touch the ground. "You were amazing," Aida said as he took his place at the counter, "Did you learn to shoot like that as an Eva pilot?"

"Yes."

"Wow. That is so cool. I wish I could be a pilot too."

I almost said something about the fact he was a fourth level candidate to be a pilot but then I remembered that that was secret. I stood back and watched as Aida-san made his throws. He was not as skilled a marksman as I was so his stuffed animal, a T-Rex, wasn't nearly as large as mine was. He grinned eagerly as he rejoined me. "So Ayanami, how do you become a pilot?" He asked.

"You must be selected by the Marduk Institute."

"And how do you get selected?"

"They have the names of all eligible candidates. When I new Eva is ready one is selected from that group."

Aida-san sighed unhappily. "That sucks. At this rate I'll never become a pilot."

"I would not give up hope yet."

"Ayanami-san!"

I turned to see Class Representative Goro approaching us. "Yes?" Asked Aida-san.

I had never liked him very much. It wasn't something personal I held against him he just gave me a weird feeling. "I was wondering if you two were having a good time."

"The best!" Aida-san exclaimed.

I was aware that Class Representative Goro was right behind me but before I could move he grabbed my arm. I felt something hard pressed against my back. "Don't move or I will fire," he whispered in my ear.

I kept my face calm and unaffected as possible. "I hope you don't mind but I need to take Ayanami with me."

"Okay! See you later!"

"Goodbye Aida-san."

I let Goro lead me through the crowd. The gun was well concealed so I already knew that I was not going to be rescued. So I had to do what he wanted. "You're a smart girl, you know. I was hoping you would be so then I wouldn't have to put a bullet in your stomach."

"What do you want with me?"

"That depends on if you behave or not."

* * *

Where is Goro taking Rei and why? You'll have to wait and see . . . 

Oh and don't forget to review! Thanks!


	8. My Time as a Victim of Kidnap

A.N.:

Well, folks it's time for another enstalment of this wonderful story of mine. sigh I should warn you all it ends on a major cliffie laughs evily. I should also say that several of you will want to flame me for Rei cruelty. So, go right ahead . . .

Finally, I don't own Eva!

That is all.

**_

* * *

_**

**_The Girl in White Bandages: The True Confessions of Ayanami Rei_**

**Ch. 6 My Time as a Victim of Kidnap**

Hitaru watched from the window as her older brother Goro lead a young woman who looked like her though the crowd. She couldn't see the gun but she knew her brother had it concealed in his robes; mussel pressed firmly against her back. Goro had practiced on her so Hitaru should know how good he was. She took one good look at the young woman and then back at the mirror to assure her disguise was perfect. She was surprised that someone actually looked liked that for real. She applied a touch more cream to her face to made it as pale as she could.

She had to look and act perfectly if she was to perform her part as a decoy. It didn't matter that Hitaru was nearly a full year younger then the pilots; she was exactly the same height as the First Child, making her ideal for the impersonation. She waited until the voice came over the radio telling her that her brother had the girl in the car.

Hitaru turned and made her way out the door into the crowd. She was still baffled at how anyone could act so, cold but her job wasn't to ask questions. What mattered was that she did her best.

--

Goro pushed me ahead of him through the crowd until we reached a black limousine parked in an ally at the edge of the festival. There were two guards there waiting for us. They handcuffed me and tied a blindfold around my eyes. They forced me into the limousine and one of them sat on each side of me. Both of them pressed their guns against me, one to my temple the other to my side. Clearly there would be no chance of escape. Even if I somehow managed to avoid one the other would surely shoot me. I heard Goro get in the limo and the door close behind him. Someone placed a damp rag over my nose and everything faded out.

--

A bright light illuminated the center of a large room revealing the figure of a young girl who sat handcuffed to a chair. Her short blue hair covered her face, though not enough to disguise the fact that she was unconscious. A circle of square monoliths appeared around her. SEELE 1 spoke, his voice ringing through the dark room.

"Rei Ayanami."

"The world's first successful human clone," continued SEELE 3.

"Made of Yui Ikari and the cursed second angel Lilith," stated SEELE 2.

"The key to all our hopes and dreams. Yet she is a doll to Ikari," scoffed SEELE 4.

"True. But even a doll can easily be taught new tricks, can be broken or given a brain at the behest of others." SEELE 5 pointed out.

"The question is, will girl betray her creator or are the bonds of her servitude to him too great?" asked SEELE 2.

"We will soon see how great those bonds are. I intend to break them. Then the unnumbered angel will betray her master and serve a new god."

"Who do you intend to make sovereign over this doll, this angel, this freak of nature?" asked SEEELE 4."

"The boy, of course. He is the other half of the equation." SEELE 1 stated.

"So you intend to put our hopes and dreams for the removal of sin in the care of two children?" demanded SEELE 3.

"Yes. They will not be able to resist it by the time this is all over." SEELE 1 insisted.

"We hope you're right. This is much too important." SEELE 3 snapped.

--

I remember clearly the day I learned I wasn't completely human. Looking back there had been plenty of signs. How many people do you know own a tank of soulless clones of themselves in the basement? I would venture to guess there are not too many. I think on some level I knew long before I was ever told. Yet that day will be forever frozen in my memories.

It had been early, or very late. I wasn't quite sure. Nor did I care to. I had been laying flat on my back staring at the ceiling above. The phone went off, faint and disconnected, like it was off in another world. It rang four times before I acknowledged it. I rose to my feet and made my way methodically to the phone.

"Hello?"

"Rei, it's me. I need you to come to NERV."

NERV? Why? I didn't ask either of these. I knew better. "Yes, sir."

"Good. Meet me in front of Unit Zero in thirty minutes."

"Yes, sir."

"I'll see you there."

The line went dead and I returned the receiver to the cradle. I didn't have time to shower so I simply put on my clothes and made my way to NERV, walking the long route. Inside the facility it was cold and dark, with only the sparse presence of the night staff providing breaks in the monotonous hallways and walls. I passed Dr. Akagi's room to notice her typing busily away at her computer, completely engrossed in her work. I arrived in front of Unit Zero to find the area deserted. So I waited, watching the heavily bandaged face of Unit Zero. Somehow the darkness made her even more terrible, more unnerving. "Rei."

I turned to see the Commander standing in the doorway, hands deep in his pockets. "Yes, sir?"

"Come with me. There is something I need to show you."

I nodded and he turned. I followed him from the Eva cage down the long twisting corridors of NERV. We kept going deeper until I had no idea where we were. I had never been down this far. We finally stopped in front of a pair of double doors. The writing in bright red and yellow letters said the area beyond was highly restricted and unauthorized personnel should not enter.

_Who are you?_

**I am Rei Ayanami.**

I looked over at the Commander to see if he had heard the voice but he was busy pulling a card from his pocket. Once he had retrieved it he swiped it through the lock. It flashed green and the door opened for us. The Commander entered and I started to follow. Then however I caught sight of the being within.

It was massive and white, almost as large as the Evas. Its face was covered by a large dark purple mask decorated by the seven eyes sign of SEELE. Both legs were removed at the knee, with sickening smaller legs, human in form, extending at random from the stumps. I couldn't tear my gaze from that horrid thing. Although both hands were pinned to the cross I fully expected one of them to break free and reach for me.

_Who are you?_

_Are you the enemy?_

_No. He is. _

**Who are you? What are you? **

_You already know. Don't you feel the way our bodies resonate?_

**What?**

_Do you feel the magnetism?_

I could indeed feel an invisible force trying to pull me towards the white being. The Commander placed his hand on my shoulder. My skin crawled in a way I have never felt it do before. I quickly stepped back from him. I never wanted to feel that feeling again.

_You see now. He posses the leader of the enemy._

**Enemy?****Are you not also one of them?**

_Yes and no. I am one of the enemy but also, I am the mother of humanity._

**SILENCE**

_What is wrong? Do you fear me my child? Why do you run from your mother?_

**MOTHER**

I felt the white being trying to reach for me. I left that place as fast as possible, vowing never to return. Too much down there frightened me and I'd not wanted to know about it.

--

When I awoke I was laying flat on my back. I remembered what I had dreamt about as vividly as if it had been reality. Yet I had no idea what I had relived that particular memory. I opened my eyes and looked around. I was in a cell like room with the bed I was on for the only decoration. There were no windows and no way out except for the door which would of course be locked. Having nothing better to do I stared at the ceiling as I had done so many times before in more familiar places. Several minutes later I heard footsteps outside and the door opened.

Goro was standing in the door way frowning at me. Quietly, he stepped inside and closed the door behind himself. "So you're awake, I see. I'm glad you were so cooperative; it made my job so much easier." He said mockingly.

"Where am I?"

I hadn't expected an answer from him but after some momentary uncertainty he did. "I guess it wouldn't hurt to tell you. I've brought you to SEELE."

"Why?"

Goro laughed mockingly again. "Why? Because that was my job. You see not only am I a level four candidate, I am also an agent for SEELE."

"Convenient, being able to spy on us."

"Yes it is."

"So now what?"

"That depends on what you are told when you see Keel Lorenz of SEELE."

"Why? Why help SEELE?"

"Because, they pay well for me services and . . . you . . . no . . . I hate NERV more then anything. Especially it's commander, Gendo Ikari."

"What did the Commander do to you?"

Goro stared at the wall for a while seemingly debating whether or not to tell me.

"I suppose it can't hurt to tell you; if you do leave here you'll never see me again anyway. My parents found out the truth about everything you guys are doing down there but unlike the Sub Commander and Doctor, they wouldn't stay quiet. My parents were going to tell everything to the world. So Ikari said they had to die and they did. They burned to death in a 'tragic car accident' and NERV got away with its secrets."

"So you blame Commander Ikari for your parent's death."

"Yes, and you, their greatest creation, you are also my enemy."

He glared at me with a look of absolute hate in his eyes. He wanted to kill me now but something was holding him back. I just hoped he didn't decide it wasn't worth it to let me live. "If I didn't have so much respect for Chairman Keel I would have killed you the first time we met. However as it is not your time I will let you live for now. I just pray your death at the hands of the sixteenth is sufficiently gruesome and painful."

With that he was gone, the door slamming behind him. I sat motionless for a long time trying to calm my fear that he would come back and strangle me to death. Eventually I found the will to stand up. I walked to the door and tried the handle on a whim. It turned and the door opened without resistance. I looked around but no one was in sight. Goro must have forgotten to lock it when he left. This was my chance. I had to get out while I still could and I was going to take every opportunity I had. Looking around cautiously I stepped out into the hallway and began walking, searing for a way out.

--

On a large television screen the men of SEELE watched as Rei made her escape from her cell and began to wonder down the corridors of SEELE HQ. "What have you done Keel, the girl is getting away."

"She'll run right back to Ikari and tell him."

Keel Lorenz smiled and took a sip of water. He was a patient man and he was not easily insulted by his comrades' lack of understanding. "Relax gentlemen; everything is according to my plan. I wanted to see if the girl was truly Lilith's child, so I set the lock to open for her if she was. Now that she's gone the lock will be returned to normal. She will see our project, lead there by the angelic blood in her veins. Then we will have our talk. I assure you, this is the best way."

"We're putting a lot of trust in you."

"I know. Unlike Ikari, however, I do not intend to betray this council."

--

Slowly, carefully, I made my way through SEELE HQ on my quest for a way out. Multiple times I was forced to hide from guards or other people who worked there. Despite the fact I had never been in the building before I could sense something that drew me to an area of it. I decided to follow my feeling to the source of its origin, where ever it was. Finally it led me to a pair of secure metal doors. I paused wondering what to do next. I had no key to get in. As if on cue the doors opened for me. Right then alarms should have gone off in my head and I would have left the area right then. However I was obsessed with this strange feeling that was emanating from the room. So I blindly entered like a fool.

In the center of the room stood a single gigantic tube filled with LCL. Inside the tube was a small male child. He was as pale as I am and had just the beginning of white hair on his head. Connected to him were many tubes and wires which served to make him look almost spider-like. Suddenly his eyes snapped open. They were red, just like mine. I screamed.

Tabris. The seventeenth. Curiosity got the better of me and I hesitantly approached to study him. Almost instantly I noticed that he lacked the one thing we Ayanamis also missed: a soul. So although his eyes were open and was looking at me, he couldn't see me. I placed my hand on the glass, "We're not so different are we, cousin?" I said.

Behind me the door opened and several large burly men entered the room. I backed away trying to find somewhere to hide but they stopped me almost instantaneously. They carried automatic rifles, and could have filled me with holes in an instant. They cornered me and one of them forced a pair of handcuffs on my wrists and gagged me to keep me quiet. They dragged me from the room. I fought and kicked in vain. They forced me down the hallway to a small room where I was made to sit in a chair. Then I was left all alone.

There was a table with a second chair a short distance in front of me and the only light in the room hung above my head. Beyond that there was nothing in there. The door opened and Keel Lorenz entered. He was shorter and heavier set then I had imagined with a visor thing over his eyes making him almost inhuman. He moved slowly to the chair and sat down. "Rei Ayanami, first child and daughter of Lilith. It's so nice to finally meet you."

I stared back at him unable to talk back because of the gag in my mouth. Keel Lorenz smiled and continued. "Let's get down to business. As you thought the boy is indeed the seventeenth. However he is missing one vital thing, his soul. I want you to tell me where you got yours and how you are able to use something."

Ho looked up and nodded and a young woman entered. She removed my gag and disappeared through the door again. "Why does the seventeenth need a soul?"

"He was found abandoned by the Nagisa's about fifteen years ago on the day of second impact. Two years later he was accidentally killed in a fire. His parents want him back so they gave us control of his remains but we still can't get him a soul."

"That does not matter to me. I will not speak to you. I want to see the Commander."

He grinned wickedly, "Your commander is far from here. We've given him a double to play you for a while. So we have all the time we need."

"I won't tell you."

"Very well if that's how you feel I got just the thing to change your mind."

The nurse reentered with a needle in hand. "That injection contains liquefied DNA from Adam. As Lilith's daughter it will be rather painful for it to be put in your body." Keel explained.

He seemed to think that it would intimidate me but it didn't. I wasn't afraid. What Lorenz hadn't counted on was the fact I had a sync test with Unit Zero in a few hours and their double would never make it past Ritsuko. It wouldn't be long before they came for me. Then he'd pay.

"Refuse to speak? Very well."

He got up and walked out the door as the nurse grabbed my arm. I bit my lip and struggled not to cry as the liquid fire entered into my body and began to spread. It was a useless venture however. The pain overwhelmed me and the tears came in an involuntary flood. Two guards appeared and practically dragged me down the hall. They left me lying on the bed ofthe cell and locked the door.

--

Lorenz watched as Rei moaned and rolled over on her bed. It was so strange, the girl whose face hadn't moved even when threatened was crying quietly with pain. Despite that he was sure the pain was worse then she let on, the girl was just covering it up. It was a mean trick really, what he had done to her, but necessary. Time was short and he needed her to answer him. Behind him the door opened and his assistant came in, "Sir. Ikari demands to speak to you immediately."

Keel pushed a button and a large plasma screen TV appeared on the wall. On it the furious face of Gendo Ikari snarled out at him, "Keel! Where's Rei?"

"Relax, I asked her to stay here with me. She is such an interesting creature. You need not worry, she's perfectly safe. The double was just a precaution to keep you from doing so."

"I want her back, now."

Keel looked at Rei on the screen. He couldn't give her back but if he declared her a hostage Ikari would send Units One and Two to rescue her. An idea hit him. "Give me twelve hours with her, Ikari. I'll return her then, but not a moment sooner. She's such a fascinating person. Twelve hours and you can have your first child back."

"Very well." Ikari snapped.

Twelve hours. That's how long he had. Not just because he'd promised Ikari but because she wouldn't survive beyond that. Adam and Lilith were natural enemies and if he didn't give her the antidote to break them up by then it would kill her. However he was beginning to worry about his plan. She was proving to be tougher then he'd initially thought. He was worried that twelve hours wasn't enough. However twelve hours was a long time yet. There was still time.

--

Commander Ikari growled in frustration and anger as he hung up the phone. "That didn't go as we expected," stated Sub Commander Fuyutsuki.

"Indeed. But we can't send in the Evas. We would most likely crush her or they would escape with her. So they would do no good."

"Then what are we to do?"

"Absolutely nothing. We will wait twelve hours, then if the first child is not in our custody we will take all appropriate and necessary actions to get her back."

"Why can't we get the spy that kidnapped her?"

"Too messy, Fuyutsuki. The spy is a boy and a classmate of the Children. Taking him out would be hard to explain."

--

Hours later, Lorenz had the young woman brought back to the interrogation room. She was so weak that the guards had had to support her. Her neat kimono was disheveled but her will was not. Her eyes were as clear and hardened as ever.

--

How long had I lain like this? I didn't know. I felt like years but I was sure it was only about three hours, maybe four at the most. The pain was unceasing, controlling every millimeter of my body. Unexpectedly a nurse appeared and stuck a needle in my arm. Slowly the pain began to lessen and a pair of guards appeared. They grabbed me by the arms and helped me stumble the short distance back to interrogation room. Keel Lorenz was waiting for me inside.

"Come sit down. I given you a little something to ease the pain, it won't last long."

The guards let me go and I had to seize the chair to keep my balance. "I said I will not talk."

Lorenz's face became frustrated. "How many will it take? Two, Three, Four, more? You will talk or I intend to pump you full of Adam's DNA until you break."

"You can inject me with as many as you like but it doesn't matter. If I die, I can be replaced."

"Aren't you worried about losing what makes you, you? And don't give me anything about how you don't have anything like that. Everyone does. Even you. So I suggest you start thinking about your fate seriously."

"I want . . . I want . . ."

"What do you want, my dear?"

"To . . . to . . . go home."

I couldn't believe what I had just said. Yet it felt like the most honest words I had spoken my entire life. "You can. Just tell me what I want to know."

"I . . . can not . . . I promised the Commander . . ."

"Is he worth than your existence? Is he that important to you?"

"I don't know . . . but I know that I can not, will not tell."

--

Gradually Keel turned the conversation to other topics. He watched Rei's reaction but her face barely changed the entire time. He eventually dismissed her back to cell with orders to be given a second shot. 'This is becoming troubling,' he thought 'The girl is no fool and she's got a strong will; how to break it?'

--

Hitaru sat locked in a cold lonely prison cell feeling sick to her stomach. She closed her eyes against the nausea and wondered how her brother was. She hoped his part of the plan had gone well because hers had not. The First Child had a sync test with Unit Zero and Hitaru had been forced to get in. Of course the Eva was not fooled and had rejected her instantly. NERV security had dragged her out and thrown her in here. Hitaru could still smell and taste the LCL all around her. The nausea from the rejection had been so strong she spent much of the last hour retching up the contents of her stomach into a bucket; dry heaving once it was empty until she was too tired to move or think.

Now she sat feeling cold, tired and numb. This was not what she had asked for when she'd offered to help her brother. True she had known it wouldn't be easy but this was beyond her 13-year-old expectations. Hitaru heard footsteps coming but didn't bother to move. Someone shone a flashlight in her eyes, causing her to wince in pain. The beam of light was moved away and Hitaru was able to make out the face of a young woman with purple hair and brown eyes looking in at her.

She said something to the guards that stood on either side of her and one of them began to unlock the door. Once it was open the other one came in and handcuffed her wrists in front of her. Then they marched her down the hallway behind the woman. They stopped in front of a door a short distance away and the woman swiped her card though the lock. Hitaru was dismayed to see that the doors were also several inches thick and probably solid metal.

Inside the room was empty except for a table and two chairs. Hitaru was made to sit in one and the purple haired woman sat in the other. The guards left and the room fell silent. The woman calmly set a file she'd been carrying on the table in front of her but said nothing. Hitaru wondered what the woman was waiting for. 'Shouldn't she be eager to rip me apart for aiding in the kidnap of an Eva pilot?' Still the silence persisted. After about five minutes the door opened and a young woman entered with a tray of food. She set it in front of Hitaru and left quickly. Hitaru looked at the food surprised and unsure of what to do. "You should eat that fast before the Commanders change their minds and order me to take it away." The purple hair woman said.

Her tone had held a slight edge of warmth, or was it sympathy to it. Hitaru felt her stomach grumble from emptiness. That was all the encouragement she needed. Slowly she began to eat a little at a time, careful not to make herself sick again. The purple-haired woman sat silently with her arms folded across her chest. She seemed disgusted by something but Hitaru couldn't tell what. After Hitaru had eaten the woman returned and took it away. Once the room was empty the purple haired woman stood up.

Hitaru hadn't been able to place her with all the pain, hunger and terror she felt but now she recognized the woman. She was the Director of Operations, Major Misato Katsuragi. Hitaru realized that this could be either good or really, really bad. The Major stared down at her seeming to wonder where to begin. "So, do you feel better now?"

"Yes. Arigato."

"You're awfully young to do what you did. Why? Who made you do it and what are they promising you?"

"No one made me do it. I did it because I wanted to."

"You wanted to impersonate an Eva pilot?" Misato asked, obviously confused.

"No. There was someone very important to me who needed someone to do this. I promised him I would protect him."

"Who are you protecting?"

Hitaru made at face at the woman. "I'm not saying." She declared in the brattiest voice she could muster.

"Your dad?" Misato asked.

"I don't have one of those. Mine died."

"Hmmm. Your brother then?"

"No."

The minute she'd said it Hitaru knew it had come out too fast and forcefully. Katsuragi was suspicious now. She seemed to be considering what to say or do next; taking her time so it came out right. Finally she settled on something. The major sat back down and took a picture from the file and set it in front of Hitaru. It was her brother, Goro. Hitaru tried to suppress the small gasp that rose in her throat but couldn't. She coughed hoping the Major hadn't noticed but clearly she had. "Is he your brother?" Hitaru asked.

"No." Hitaru lied looking as calm as she could. "I just thought I knew him but I don't know him."

The Major's face said the she clearly didn't believe her and knew she wasn't telling the truth. "You must really love your brother to do what you did for him."

Hitaru's faced whited but she said nothing to this. "You wouldn't want anything to happen to him would you? The two of you are just children. You shouldn't be involved in an adult war. You could suffer unnecessary pain."

"Do you dare hurt my brother!" Hitaru practically screamed at her.

The tears came to her eyes and rolled down her face in large wet drops. Hitaru could not stop them. She was only able to bow her head and wipe her eyes. "Please, just leave Goro alone. He's all I've got here. If you take him I away I won't have anybody."

Her voice cracked and Hitaru sat shuttering for several minutes. "Haven't you taken enough?"

Her voice was like a horse whisper in the darkness, hard to hear and quickly gone. Misato knelt down so that she could be at eye level with the young girl. "Tell me what happened?" She asked as soothingly as she could.

Hitaru looked away willing herself not to look into the woman's eyes. She did not want to see the kindness there because she knew if she did, she would crumble. Behind her the door opened and Dr. Akagi entered and handed Katsuragi a file. "Here's the information on the girl. You did a good job."

Misato shook her head and left the room to go puke. Interrogation had never been something she'd liked, but she absolutely hated doing it to children. Ten minutes after her stomach had settled down, Misato returned to her office and flipped through the file. The information said what she had already suspected. The girl was the younger sister of the boy who'd kidnapped Rei. They were orphans since their parents had been killed in a car crash ten years ago.

--

Keel Lorenz had a plan. It was stupid and crazy, yet it was possible that it would work. He could not attack the girl head on she was too strong for that. It would take too long. So he had come up another way. He would have one of his child operatives impersonate the third child and convince her to talk. It was the only choice he had.

Keel looked up and down the line of prospective candidates. He finally settled on one he though looked the most like the famed Shinji Ikari and sent him off to make up. In thirty minutes he would emerge dressed and instructed in the proper way to act. Keel hoped this would work. He had to have that information and soon before time ran out.

--

The guards came again and dragged me out of the room. There were no painkillers this time so I was subject to the pain the injections caused. I was taken down the hallway to a different room this time. It was small and comfortably furnished with pale green shag carpet, three overstuffed green velvet chairs and a giant Plexiglas window with closed black blinds. I was forced by the guards to sit in one of the chairs. Then I was left alone. This was definitely better then my previous interrogation rooms which left me feeling suspicious. Keel was planning something. I could feel it.

I had sat there for five minutes and still nothing had happened. This made me all the more suspicious. I nearly jumped when the door opened but it was a kindly young woman carrying a tray of food. She smiled and set it in front of me. I tried to sit up as straight as my pain wracked body would allow me. I ate at much as my body allowed and sat back in the chair. I felt nauseous but I refused to allow myself to vomit. I needed all my strength and I couldn't afford to lose what little food I had.

Five more minutes went by and still nothing. Then the door opened. I shifted my gaze so I could see who it was. I recognized Keel Lorenz at once. So here he was at last. A form stepped from behind him and I nearly gasped in shock. "Ikari-kun." I mouthed.

He was tied in similar handcuffs as I was except his kept his hands held behind his back and he looked scared and confused. "Ayanami!"

He was kneeling by my side in an instant. Ikari-kun's eyes were full of fear and concern. For me? With out his arms there was little more he could do to comfort me but he tried his best. "Are you okay? What have they done to you?"

Did he know about the pain my body was in? Was it that transparent or was he just good at reading me? I wasn't sure but either way I was glad for his concern. "I . . .I am okay. This is nothing I can not handle."

"But Rei, they're hurting you. That isn't right."

"I am fine. How, how did you find me?"

"It was Kensuke." Ikari-kun explained "He saw the gun as Goro was leading away and reported your kidnap. I went to ask Kaji after I found out and made him tell me who took you. He said it was SEELE but he wouldn't tell me where or how to contact them."

"So how did you find this place?"

Ikari-kun smirked like he thought he had been clever. "I promised Asuka I'd attempt to make European food for dinner if she got me the information."

I was shocked, Ikari-kun and Pilot Sohryu had never been close since her arrival and the pair always fought constantly. The fact he had made such a bold proposal and she had accepted was atypical of the pair. I made a mental not to thank Pilot Sohryu for the assistance. "What did you plan to do?"

"I wanted to trade myself for you. My father's been ballistic since he found out SEELE took you. He values you more then me so I thought it would make the situation better."

"SEELE will not let me go. I have information they want."

"So you're protecting my father's secrets. Rei, is he really that important to you?"

I winced as a wave of pain consumed my body. " . . .Can't, won't . . ."

"Rei, this is crazy. You're letting them hurting you for my father! You should stop this madness before it's too late!"

I shook my head, the best I could do considering the pain I was in. I would not, could not tell what I knew. Yes, I knew exactly what they wanted. It went against every moral fiber of my being. I would not let another be made as I was.

I saw a shadow fall over Ikari-kun's face. His eyes went wide as a gun was pressed against his skull. Keel Lorenz smiled wickedly down at us. "So sorry to interrupt this little reunion but I'm afraid I must. You see you will talk or I will put a bullet through the skull of your friend here. I highly dobt you'd like that."

"Ayanami . . .please . . ."

Fear and shock contorted Ikari-kun's face. In that moment I wanted nothing more then to hurt Keel Lorenz with every fiber of my being. How dare threaten to hurt Ikari-kun in front of me. "Why?" I asked, the only word I could make into audible sound.

"Because my dear you care not for your own life or safely. However you clearly value his existence. Thus your weakness."

I looked over at Ikari-kun. He was shaking with fright. "Please . . . Ayanami . . .Don't let him . . .I don't want to die."

I glanced back at Keel Lorenz to see he was dead serious about going through with this. My thought at this could be summed up by a single word, crap.

--

Misato screamed furiously into the phone unable to believe what she was hearing. "What! What do you mean you lost him? He's a pilot and you're Section Two! Keeping track of him is what the Commander pays you for."

"I'm sorry ma'am. There wasn't much we could do." apologized the unfortunate Section Two agent from the other end of the line.

"I don't care. Just tell me one thing: where is the Third Child? Where's Shinji?" Misatoyelled as loud as possible.

* * *

Dun, dun, dun! The question is who is Keel threatening to kill Shinji or the fake? grins wickedly You will have to wait and see! 


	9. What Became of   ?

Hello all! It's me again. Sorry for the delay with getting this chapter up. I'm still waiting for my pre reader to get this back to me. Unfortunately he's been busy and hasn't had time to finsih going over this yet. For the record I will resubmit this once thats done. For now however you'll have to be happy with this . .

Oh and by the way, I don't own Eva!

**

* * *

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**Chapter 7: What Became of . . .?**

I looked from Keel to Ikari-kun and back again. The look in Keel's eyes or rather the lack thereof made me shiver. His finger tightened reflexively on the trigger. I had to do something now or Ikari-kun would die. "Promise . . . promise, me . . ." I pleaded between waves of pain "You . . . you will let Ikari-kun go, if, If I talk . . ."

I closed my eyes, breathing hard, too exhausted to say more. After several moments I opened my eyes and looked over at Keel Lorenz. He nodded solemnly. "You have my word that the boy will go free only of you promise to tell me everything you know. You must not leave out one detail or lie."

I had suspected that he would make such a request of me. I was resigning myself to the fact that I would have to tell to save Ikari-kun. Keel kept his gun pressed against Ikari-kun's head as he frowned down at me. "When ever you're ready Miss Ayanami. This boy stays here to insure you'll hold up your end of the bargain."

"Don't worry about me, Ayanami. I'll be okay."

However I was worried about him and with good reason. I knew Ikari-kun was blind to most of Nerv's inner secrets. I however knew almost every one of them. There was no way to know how he would react to one of them being revealed. Still it was that or watching his death. At the moment telling seemed like a much better option. As much as I detested the thought of being responsible for the creation of another like me I refused to have his death on my conscience. "It's Lilith's soul." I began.

I went on to explain the process of attaching a soul to a body that had none in as few words as I could. By the time I was done I was out of breath and felt sick. I sank back as far as I could in the chair so that I could be as comfortable as possible. I tried not to watch as the look of victory in Keel's eyes, the pain and betrayal in Ikari-kun's. I didn't want to move, feel, think or even breathe from that moment on.

I heard something clink but it seemed too distant to believe. I had finally gotten to the point where the pain seemed like it wasn't real and I could float on a hazy cloud. I felt my body being moved but I was too far-gone to care. "Ayanami . . ." Ikari-kun's cracked voice sobbed. "I'm sorry. They told me I had to help them or I . . . I wouldn't be allowed to see you. I had to help them . . ."

I felt two hands massaging my temples. I felt my body relax and the pain fade away. "You promised you'd stop hurting her if she talked." Ikari-kun's voice demanded.

I heard footsteps going towards the door; then it opened and closed. "Don't worry he's gone to get something to make you feel better."

I moaned as a wave of pain consumed me. Ikari-kun continued to rub my temples. He was humming something over and over but I couldn't concentrate on it long enough to make it out.

I heard the door opened and a pair of footsteps entered. "Make her swallow one of these and she'll feel better shortly." I heard Keel's voice instructed Ikari-kun.

Something hard and bitter was place in my mouth. I tried to spit it out but Ikari-'s hand stayed firmly in place preventing me from doing so. I chocked it down as fast as I could. I almost wished I hadn't a few moments later. The pain began to increase rapidly until I was blind to everything else. I shuttered and convulsed trying to get away but it was no good. I thought my entire body would explode. The thought was appealing; I would be free of the pain. Then almost as quickly as it had begun the pain began to ebb away. After a time it was gone completely. I remained as I was, too exhausted to move at all.

--

The Section Two agent on the other end had no answer for Misato. He did not know what had happened to Shinji. Misato frowned obviously not pleased with what she had been told. "Look," She said finally "Just let me speak to Kaji and no games I know he's down there."

"I'm sorry Katsuragi." Kaji said when he picked up the phone, "I'm afraid this is my fault."

"Like hell it is!" Misato snapped back.

Then she paused realizing what Kaji had just said. He had accepted responsibility for something. "Kaji . . ."

"When Shinji found out that Ayanami had been kidnapped he came to me and asked if I knew who had her. I told him it was SEELE although I didn't tell him why or where to find her. However he must have asked Asuka to sneak it from me because she came to visit me later that day. I was distracted writing a report to Commander Ikari so I couldn't keep an eye on her. She must have look through my papers and found the answer."

"Then what?"

"He left the house at approximately 10:21 this morning on his way to meet his friends, Suzuhara and Aida. While he was walking he called a phone number, which we have yet to trace. Five minutes later a limo pulled up beside him and he got in willingly. We are unable to track his location since then."

"Do you think he turned himself over to Seele?"

"Most likely. I imagine he thought he could trade places with her."

"You mean there was a reason they took Rei. This wasn't a random kidnapping."

"Nothing SEELE does is random. If they took Rei it means they know she has information they want or need to have."

"Can't we do anything about this?"

"I afraid not. The children will have to do this on their own. They're certainly resourceful enough."

"True."

--

Keel had unshackled me and released us sometime later. Ikari-kun had been forced to carry me out of there. Once we were outside he had used his cell phone to call Nerv and ask for transport. It arrived less then five minutes later in thee form of a black sedan. Major Katsuragi and two Section Two agents were inside waiting for us.

The Major ran from the car the minute she saw us. She wrapped her arms around Ikari-kun and then me. "Are you okay?" She kept asking over and over again.

We told her we were fine each time but she didn't seem to believe us. Eventually we were able to take a seat in the back of the car and we made our way to Nerv.

Dr. Akagi ordered that I be quarantined upon arrival. She ordered several tests to check to "see that I was okay" as she said. I actually believed that they feared I had become mentally unstable or contaminated thus preventing me from piloting. I must have fallen asleep before the final test was done because I don't remember it ending or be given permission to return to my apartment.

"Well, doctor is she fit to pilot Unit Zero again or will we be forced to terminate her prematurely?"

"The tests indicated no signs of instability or contamination. She is fit to pilot as far as I can tell however we will have to stick her in the Eva to be sure."

"Very good. Schedule a test for first thing tomorrow morning."

"Won't the major protest? She's always concerned about the pilot's welfare."

"She will but ignore her. We must know for sure that she is still viable. That is the most important concern we have at the present time."

"Understood."

As she left the room Ritsuko still felt disturbed about the whole thing. The Commander was pushing the First Child too hard. After all she had just been kidnapped and tortured for most of a day. Now she was utterly exhausted and hadn't even been able to stay awake.

I was awakened early the next morning by bright sunlight coming through a nearby window. I sat up sharply believing I was still trapped in SEELE HQ. My body spasmed painfully at the sudden movement and I fell back down on top of the bed where I had laid. No, I was back at Nerv, everything was okay. My body was still sore and stiff from the multiple injections Keel had ordered the nurses to give me. I rubbed my arms and legs trying to loosen up my joints. I recognized where I was now, one of the rooms of the Nerv hospital wing.

I rose to my feet and made my way to the bathroom to clean up. I turned on the facet and splashed the cold water on my face. I looked in the mirror and sighed at my reflection. I looked horrible with my unusually pale complexion and bags under my eyes. Still I knew things could be worse. I could be dead or suffering from a terrible injury. So I should be glad for the fact I was in relatively good shape.

I looked down and realized that my kimono had been removed in favor of Nerv hospital dress. I found my kimono hanging in the closet. There wasn't anything else for me to wear however so I sat down on the bed. I could do no more until someone came and told me what my orders were so for now I must wait.

That didn't last long however as Dr. Akagi arrived a few minutes later. She carried a clipboard in her hands. She was in her official mode so I knew better then to question her. "I see you awake. You have a test with Unit Zero in an hour and a half. I suggest you go downstairs and get something to eat while you can."

"Yes, doctor."

I rose to leave but she kept herself between the door and me. "Rei, you should be aware that both the other Children will be here for tests as well and you will be in contact with both Units Zero and One."

"That is not an issue."

"Fine. Then go."

I walked out of the room and down the hall to the commissary. The list was the same as every other day I had come here. I had only two options to choose from. It's not that my restrictive diet kept me from eating meat; it was because I disliked meat. The taste had never agreed with my taste buds. So if I had the choice I preferred not to eat it. Thus I had only two options if I must eat at Nerv. I chose one and made my way towards the area were the seating was. It was mostly empty but I recognized Pilot Sohryu and Ikari-kun immediately. "Good morning, Wondergirl."

"Come sit with us Ayanami!" Ikari-kun called.

I took one of the available seats and sat down at the table with them. "So did you hear about our Eva tests today? This is so lame. I bet this is all your fault Wondergirl."

Ikari-kun glared at her like he was offended by her comment. "Asuka, you don't know what she's been through."

"Hmmp. Like I care." Pilot Sohryu muttered.

I focused my attention on the food before me. I did not like Pilot Sohryu's comments and today they seemed especially annoying. Still I remembered what Ikari-kun had told me that she had done. I felt like I owed her some thanks even though she was being obnoxious. "Arigato Pilot Sohryu."

Pilot Sohryu dropped her chopsticks and her face betrayed a look of open horror. "What did you say, wonder doll?"

"I said, Arigato Pilot Sohryu."

She frowned and picked up her chopsticks. She kept eating like I wasn't even there. Ikari-kun looked back and forth like he was unsure of what to do. "How do you feel Ayanami?" He asked.

"I feel fine."

"That's good."

A short time later we were standing in the dressing rooms. Pilot Sohryu was talking animatedly about how she would once again show us up once again. I ignored her and focused on getting my plug suit on correctly. Once I was dressed I made my way to the elevator to wait on the others. Ikari-kun arrived moments later but Pilot Sohryu was slower in coming. "You didn't have to wait you know. I can go up to Unit Two on my own."

We said nothing but I was positive she would have waited for us had we not been there. She respected the tradition and disliked to be without our company. We climbed on the elevator together and made our way up to where the tests were being held. When we arrived Dr. Akagi was waiting for us. "Listen up this is how the tests will proceed. First I want you all in your Eva's for the regular round of tests. Then Asuka will report to Level 7 room 1005A for some special tests while Shinji and Rei will be switching Eva's."

"Why do they get to swap Evas and not me?" Pilot Shoryu demanded.

"Because," Replied Major Katsuragi explained, "We didn't think you would want to have someone else in Unit Two or be in either of the other Evas. Besides the tests you'll be doing are much more important."

Pilot Sohryu's face brightened at the explanation by the major. She walked off in the direction of Unit Two with a smile on her face. I looked over at Ikari-kun and our eyes met for a moment. Then we left and made our way to our respective Evas. I opened the entry plug and climbed inside. A few minutes later synchronization was established. I closed my eyes and let my mind wander as I always did. There was no point in wasting energy that I could use somewhere more important later. I became vaguely aware that there was an altercation between Pilot Sohryu and Ikari-kun but I chose to ignore it. This was typical behavior for them so it did nothing to upset me. "Wondergirl, tell this baka I'm right." Pilot Sohryu's voice commanded.

"Asuka! Leave Ayanami out of this."

"She can answer the question just fine I believe."

"What is the question?" I asked.

"I said the baka couldn't cook European food to save his life."

I did not know if Ikari-kun could cook European food as I had never seen him do such a feat however I did know he had some skill with cooking. I replied to that effect and saw Pilot Sohryu scowl. Obviously she didn't like that answer. I sighed and closed my eyes choosing to ignore their argument. Most of it seemed pretty pointless to me.

A short time later Dr. Akagi's voice came through on the speaker. "The test is over now. You may get out. Shinji and Rei you have ten minutes before you switch Eva's. Asuka I want you to report to the room I told you in ten minutes."

"Right." We replied in unison.

I sat on the benches with Ikari-kun the two of us dripping with LCL. We had wiped off most of it but there was no point in showering until the second round of testing was over. "Are you ready for this, Ayanami?" Ikari-kun asked.

Why? What was I supposed to be ready for? "Why?"

Ikari-kun looked at me was like I was crazy for a brief instant and then he smiled. "Ayanami, you're getting in Unit One again after all these months and I'm getting Unit Zero for the first time. Isn't that something to be nervous about?"

After a moment I nodded. "True it's scary because it's different but that does not mean it will be bad."

"You're always the optimist, Ayanami."

"Am I?"

Before he could say more Doctor Akagi appeared and told it was time to get in. I nodded to Ikari-kun and made my up the stairs to Unit One. I watched as Ikari-kun did the same. I opened the entry plug and climbed inside. I sat down in the seat and waited for instructions. They came moments later. "Rei were going to run the tests with you first since you've had contact with Unit One before. So Shinji we'll save you for last."

"Understood." We both replied.

I made myself comfortable as the LCL was pumped into the entry plug. The lights flashed and I felt my mind become one with the Eva's soul. After having done this so many times during my life and once already today the process was a familiar routine to me. Yui Ikari's voice hung like a dark cloud in the air.

The others said being in the Eva was like a mother's protective embrace but I had never understood. I had never felt that way. Unit Zero's embrace felt more like one who both loved and hated me all at once. Unit One on the other hand was like standing in a frozen ice field that left you just warm enough to not freeze. Being in Unit Two with the others was the closest I had come to that feeling that although I was aware that had not Ikari-kun and Pilot Sohryu had been there I would have been rejected. _You. What are you doing here again?_

**I am ordered. **

_Get out. I do not want your presence here. _

**I can't. There is now way for me to leave. **

_I don't care. I do not like you. _

I knew what her reason for hating me was. It was because the Commander had made me from her as a replacement for her absence until they met again. So she had every right to hate me. Still I wished she wouldn't give me such a cold shoulder. I was glad though. Yui could do much worse to me then she was.

None too soon the test was over. I was allowed to leave for the observation deck to see Ikari-kun's test. At first everything went smoothly as planned. Then however alarms started going off. "Ayanami what are you doing? Get out of my head. Go make this stop!" His pain voice shouted over the com.

"My god! It's the same error as before!" Lt. Ibuki cried.

Unit Zero's eye flashed and she began to struggle against the binds the held her in place. She roared and tore herself free from what was holding her back. She came at the glass window and began to pound at it.

_Die._

**Why? Why are you doing this?**

_Because I am your true self with no limits. I do this because this is what you desire. You hate yourself and you hate the Commander and Nerv. I am doing what you have not the strength or power to. _

Unit Zero doubled foreword clutching her head. She began to pound her head against the wall as if trying to escape the pain. "Eject the entry plug and flood the camber with bakelite." Dr. Akagi's voice commanded.

Lt. Ibuki entered the codes but they were not accepted. Unit Zero had locked them out. "It's no good!" Maya replied.

Dr. Akagi clenched her jaw trying to think of something fast. However it was Major Katsuragi who came up with the plan. "Send Rei in with Unit One and bring Asuka back down and get her in Unit Two. They should be able to stop Unit Zero."

After some momentary shock Dr. Akagi agreed. "Rei, get down to Unit One as fast as you can."

I nodded and rose to my feet. "Rei?"

I turned to see the major looking at me. "Be careful."

"Yes, ma'am."

I made my way down the hall to where Unit One waited in an adjacent cage. There was a good chance I wouldn't make it there if Unit Zero continued her path of destruction. To my amazement I reached Unit One without incident. I opened the entry plug and climbed inside. LCL rushed in and synchronization began. The cold unrelenting presence of Yui Ikari embraced me. _You. Why are you back?_

**I want to save Ikari-kun. He is in danger.**

There was no response from the Eva's soul but I felt a lessening of the resistance of the Eva to my presence. I guess Yui was willing to work with me once again if it was for Ikari-kun's sake. That would have to do I needed her to work with me if I was to be successful. "Rei can you hear me?" Inquired Major Katsuragi's voice.

"Yes, ma'am"

"Good listen up. Your mission is to remove the power cable from Unit Zero's back and restrain her until the battery runs out."

"Understood."

Judging by the look on Major Katsuragi's face it would seem she though something was amiss. Most likely it was my calm reaction to events.

The door between the Eva cage where I was and the next began to open allowing me a clear view of the berserker Unit Zero. The single red eye glowed menacingly at me. Unit Zero was on to me and it did not like my presence. I had to do this and quick. I didn't have much time. Otherwise Unit Zero might win this fight.

I made my way cautiously into the room trying not to provoke the wrath of Unit Zero on me. However Unit Zero was already suspicious and my nearing movement only served to focus its attention on me. She roared at the top of its lungs shaking the structure of Nerv. Then she drew her progressive knife and aimed it at me. I drew one of Unit One's knives in response. We stood like that for what seemed like an eternity staring at each other. Then Unit Zero broke her stance and charged.

Unit Zero tried to cut Unit One with the knife but I dodged or countered every blow. Unit Zero must have realized as I had that nothing would get done this way. She acted like she was going in for the attack but at the last minute ducked to grab me with both arms around the waist. I was slammed hard against the wall. I got one arm free and smacked Unit Zero hard across the face sending her stumbling backward. Unit Zero was back on her feet quickly and roared in defiance at the humiliation I had dealt her. This was no good there wasn't enough room.

I stepped back and focused my gaze on the target, Unit Zero's power cord. I steadied my knife and aimed it. I flicked my wrist hard and the knife went flying. With a soft thunk the knife berried itself in the tiled fool severing the cord as it went. The cord began to writhe and twist like and angry viper as electricity cracked through it. Still part one was accomplished. The power supply was cut.

I dodged as Unit Zero tried to tackle me again. I hit her from behind and knocked Unit Zero to the ground. Quickly I got on top pinning her down with the aid of Unit One's slightly heavier frame. At first this tactic worked, Unit Zero thrashed useless for about thirty-seconds beneath my grasp. Then she got one foot loosed and shoved her knee deep into my stomach. I groaned and doubled over in pain. Unit Zero got loose and prepared to attack while I was down.

I was not to be taken lightly however. I knifed Unit Zero in the arm when she tried to grab me. Unit Zero roared in pain and yanked out the knife. She tossed the blood-covered object aside and out of reach. So now I was out of knives and Unit Zero still had one. I'd have to be careful. I glanced at the timer to see Unit Zero still had 4 minutes and 10 seconds left of power. This would be rough.

Both of us stood apart judging our next move. I was glad for the brief break allowing me to catch my breath. All I had to do was to stay on my feet and keep her busy until the battery back up power ran out. I saw no point in moving until Unit Zero did. As long as she was standing still, not attacking me or anything else I was okay.

Unfortunately Unit Zero was intent on causing damage and I was in the way. So my break didn't last long. She drew her final prog knife and advanced in my direction. I looked around but saw no pro knife with in reach. My best hope was to disarm her as fast as possible. Thankfully that was something I was good at. So it was time to put my skills to work.

I dodged the first blow and grabbed her arm with both of mine. I twisted mercilessly and heard the sickening snap of armor and bone. Unit Zero roared in pain and dropped the knife. I punched her in the stomach and it was her turn to double over in pain. I tried to hit her over the head to finish her off but she bit down hard on my hand. I back up shaking it hard to relieve the pain. That was a big mistake.

Unit Zero charged and tackled me to the ground. Her massive from came down with a thud one my chest cracking ribs and knocking the breath out of me. She grinned maliciously at me and raised her fists. They came down hard beating both sides of my face. My head was thrown back and forth, side to side. I felt bones and armor crunch beneath the powerful fists. It was all I could do to hold her off. My consciousness faded in and out in hazy fragments. The beating was excruciating and I was nearly numb with pain.

The next thing I knew I was laying on my back in a Nerv hospital bed. I was afraid to move at first because I didn't know how injured as I was. Hesitantly however I carefully moved myself into a sitting position. My right hand minus the end of my fingers was heavily wrapped in bandages. My head and cheek were also wrapped in bandages. Thankfully that seemed to be the extent of the damage. I moved slowly to the edge of the bed and set my feet on the floor. I rose to my feet testing my weight before I tried to stand. Both of my legs were fine and could support my weight. I was astonished that I could since I had been unable to stand after the last two times I had been injured fighting in an Eva.

I looked around and noticed a second bed behind a curtain. There was a person laying in it although it was impossible to tell whom from where I was. I made my way slowly towards it. I used my left hand to pull it back and stared down at Ikari-kun. One of his arms was in a sling, his other arm was bandaged and his head was wrapped up as well. Still his injuries were minor all this considered. Ikari-kun eyes opened and he looked back at me. "Ayanami, are you okay . . ."

His voice cracked as he spoke. Did he blame himself for this recent incident? It was not his fault. In fact I had the distinct impression it was mine. "I couldn't help you during the fifth angel, or when you were kidnapped I was only a burden to you. If I hadn't shown up you wouldn't have been forced to choose my death or tell. Now I've gone and hurt you more."

I shook my head. "No you did not hurt me. It was the Eva that did that."

"But I was the pilot."

"But the Eva was berserker, you had no control."

Ikari-kun seemed to relax some after that. I was glad. He should not blame himself for any of those situations he had mentioned. "Ayanami, can you help me up?" Ikari-kun asked.

--

Shinji looked up at Rei's face. It was blank like normal but there was calm placidness about it. She seemed to be at ease with everything even if he wasn't. He felt responsible for his role in events since his arrival. His presence had lead to her being injured twice. He also hadn't been a very good friend to her despite the fact he knew she needed him. Shinji was surprised that Rei wasn't more resentful of him. He knew he deserved worse but Rei continued to see the best in him. She always had that small hidden smile of hers for him despite what he had done.

Still he had done one thing which he could feel a small sense of pride. He had held twice now when she was injured and had helped her walk a third time. It looked like it was her turn to repay him for that. Shinji was glad it was her who was here because he knew she would be gentle with him.

--

I nodded and bent down so that Ikari-kun could put his good arm around my shoulder. With my help he made my way out of the bed. We stood together facing the open window. He leaned his weight against shoulder and I kept my arm around his waist to support him. "Are you okay, Ikari-kun?"

"Yes, Ayanami. Arigato."

We lapsed back into silence and I sensed like Ikari-kun was upset about something. Based on past experience he would not talk right way but he would speak when he was ready. So I had to wait and accept his silence until the time came when he was ready. It didn't take long for this to happen. "Ayanami . . . I'm sorry. I haven't been very kind to you have I? If it weren't for me you wouldn't have been hurt."

"It is not your fault Ikari-kun. Had you not shown up I would have died during the fight with the first angel."

"What about the fight with the angel when you were my shield? I couldn't protect you. I exposed you to danger because I couldn't make the first shot like I promised. Or better yet, what about yesterday I when I went and did it again?"

"You could not help events beyond your control. You are not responsible for me or my safely. I need to do things for myself."

"Ayanami everyone needs someone they can rely on to watch their back. You don't have anyone like that. I though I could be that for you but . . ."

His voice trailed off but I head the unspoken words; _'but I failed you.'_ I squeezed his hand and offered him the most comforting look I could. "You did not let me down Ikari-kun."

"Do you really trust me that much Rei? Why? I'm not worthy."

"I've trusted you from the minute you held me in your arms the day we met. You have always been kind to me. So I have no reason to distrust you."

We looked at each other and our eyes locked. Ikari-kun gently put his hand underneath my chin lifting my gaze slightly. He leaned closer "Ayanami . . . I'm . . ."

He sighed and shook his head. "What Ikari-kun?"

Ikari-kun blushed and looked away. "Would . . . would you . . . mind if I kissed you properly?"

I shook my head. Not one part of me objected, not at all. This was his way of trying to say thanks and sorry for everything. Slowly our lips touched. I felt this feeling of tingly happiness building with in me. I couldn't believe how different yet good this felt. We stopped only so that we could breathe and I carefully helped him from the room. I felt a small smile creep across my lips.

I felt like I was walking somewhere above the ground. However it didn't take much to bring me back down. This happened with the arrival of Pilot Sohryu. She was smiling broadly at Ikari-kun and wrapped her arms around his. "So how does the _great third child_ feel today?"

"Asuka careful you're hurting my arm." Ikari-kun mumbled.

Pilot Sohryu didn't seem to hear his pleas however. I tried to tell her to let him go but she ignored me. I placed my hands on her shoulders and Pilot Shoryu glared at me. "Yes, Wondergirl? You may leave now. I can handle this baka from here."

She jerked him roughly and I was forced to let him go to avoid causing pain. She pulled him out of sight and I was left feeling like I had done something wrong. I shook my head and made my way back to my room. I found one of my school uniforms in the closet. I pulled it out, showered and put it on as fast as I could. I went to find Dr. Akagi to learn what I was to do now. I found her in front of Unit Zero examining something on the clipboard in her hands. She frowned when she saw me standing in the doorway. "Yes, Rei? How do you feel?"

"I feel fine. What are my orders Doctor?"

The expression on the Doctor' face said, 'Go away. I do not want you here.' Yet her voice was calm. "I want you to remain in Nerv. I need to run an activation test with you and Unit Zero."

"Understood."

Dr. Akagi twitched like she didn't like my response. Did she expect me to rebel or show anger? Yes, she did. She wanted me to not accept my orders so she could hurt me. Why? Why did Doctor Akagi hate me so much? I did not understand. "Leave." She commanded.

There was a barely perceptible edge of iciness to her voice. I left before I could become the target of her anger. The way her eyes looked at me there was nothing but abhorrence and revulsion.

I went to the pilot's lounge since there was nowhere else for me to go. The area was deserted since the other two pilots had left sometime ago with the major. It was all mine. Still I did not feel like taking advantage of the freedom. My hand was beginning to throb because the sedatives were wearing off. I lay down in one of the reclining benches. I loosened the bandages and massaged it gently with my other hand. This action helped and the pain lessened some. I wondered vaguely if I should ask Doctor Akagi for another dose but her eyes flashed through my mind. There was no way I would go back until absolutely necessary.

I remained as I was for a long time quietly soothing my injured hand. The door opened and heard someone enter. "Rei are you in here?"

"Yes sir."

I rose to my feet to meet him. The Commander was unusually grim this evening. Something must be wrong. This was not good if the Commander was upset. "Rei I need to talk to you."

"Yes sir? What do you want?"

"Rei you should not have done that earlier. It was a very wrong and bad thing to do.'"

"What was?"

"Kissing the Third Child. You are changing the plan. That is not allowed."

I did not know what to say. What was wrong with kissing Ikari-kun? I did not comprehend what the problem was. Still this order came from the Commander so I knew I could not question it. So there would be no more kissing Ikari-kun.

There was one more thing I needed to discuss with the Commander. "Commander Ikari sir?"

"Yes, Rei?"

"I told them. I told SEELE how to attach a soul to a body. I had to. I am sorry."

The Commander wrapped his arms around me so that I couldn't move. He leaned down low so that his face was right next to mine. "Don't worry dear. The old fools would have found out anyway."

"What?"

"You destiny is inescapable. You will do your part when the time comes. So you must be a good girl and follow the plan, okay?"

"Why?"

The commander's hand slowly moved down my chest until it came to rest over my stomach. I could feel my skin begin to craw in revulsion. My stomach nodded tightly and I thought I could be sick. There was such power coming from his hand. Just like the angels only stronger. Whatever it was it was pure evil. "Because if you do I will bestow Adam upon you. Then you will realize your ultimate fate."

* * *

Okay how was that . . .? Review please and tell me what you think! 

And finally a teaser for Chapter 8.

_I was surprised to hear how heart broken she sounded. It was so different from the Pilot Sohryu I knew. I made my way to her side and placed my hand over hers. I didn't know what to say to her. I had never had any family or loved ones to lose, let alone lost someone so I had no idea how she felt. "I wish I could say I know how you feel but I do not. Still I'm sure your mother is very proud of you." _


	10. Question

Unfortunately this is not an update! Insead I must ask for advice with something: My pre-reader had been busy and unable to edit for me for quite a while. Thus the lack of updates. My options are: a) wait some more b) post the chapters without a prereader or c) ask for new prereaders

What do you guys think?

btw: If anyone is willing to be a prereaderI would greatly appriciate that!


	11. What Became of         ? v2

Okay people I've returned with the edited vesion of chapter seven I promised you guys. I have 8 & 9 done so if youare kind enough toleave lots of reviews I'll post them seperately in the next couple of days. Isn't it great how bribery works?

Anyhow, on with the story. Don't forget to review once your done.

One last thing: I DON"T OWN EVA!

**

* * *

**

**Chapter 7: What Became of . . .?**

I looked from Keel to Ikari-kun and back again. The look in Keel's eyes or rather the lack thereof made me shiver. His finger tightened reflexively on the trigger. I had to do something now or Ikari-kun would die. "Promise . . . promise, me . . .," I pleaded between waves of pain "You . . . you will let Ikari-kun go, if, If I talk . . ."

I closed my eyes, breathing hard, too exhausted to say more. After several moments I opened my eyes and looked over at Keel Lorenz. He nodded solemnly. "You have my word that the boy will go free only of you promise to tell me everything you know. You must not leave out any facts or details."

I had suspected that he would make such a request of me. I was resigning myself to the fact that I would have to tell to save Ikari-kun. Keel kept his gun pressed against Ikari-kun's head as he frowned down at me. "Whenever you're ready Miss Ayanami. This boy stays here to ensure you'll hold up your end of the bargain."

"Don't worry about me, Ayanami. I'll be okay."

However I was worried about him and with good reason. I knew Ikari-kun was blind to most of NERV's inner secrets. I, however, knew almost every one of them. There was no way to know how he would react to one of them being revealed. Still it was that or watching his death. At the moment, revealing the secrets seemed like a much better option. As much as I detested the thought of being responsible for the creation of another like me I refused to have his death on my conscience. "It's Lilith's soul," I began.

I went on to explain the process of attaching a soul to a body that had none in as few words as I could. By the time I was done I was out of breath and felt sick. I sank back as far as I could in the chair so that I could be as comfortable as possible. I tried not to watch, not to see the look of victory in Keel's eyes, the pain and betrayal in Ikari-kun's. I didn't want to move, feel, think or even breathe from that moment on.

I heard something clink but it seemed too distant to believe. I had finally gotten to the point where the pain seemed like it wasn't real and I could float on a hazy cloud. I felt my body being moved but I was too far-gone to care. "Ayanami . . ." Ikari-kun's cracked voice sobbed. "I'm sorry. They told me I had to help them or I . . . I wouldn't be allowed to see you. I had to help them . . ."

I felt two hands massaging my temples. My body relaxed and the pain faded away. "You promised you'd stop hurting her if she talked." Ikari-kun's voice demanded.

I heard footsteps going towards the door; then it opened and closed. "Don't worry he's gone to get something to make you feel better."

I moaned as a wave of pain consumed me. Ikari-kun continued to rub my temples. He was humming something over and over but I couldn't concentrate on it long enough to make it out.

I heard the door opened and a pair of footsteps entered. "Make her swallow one of these and she'll feel better shortly." I heard Keel's voice instruct Ikari-kun.

Something hard and bitter was placed in my mouth. I tried to spit it out but Ikari's hand stayed firmly in place preventing me from doing so. I choked it down as fast as I could. I almost wished I hadn't a few moments later. The pain began to increase rapidly until I was blind to everything else. I shuttered and convulsed trying to get away but it was no good. I thought my entire body would explode. The thought was appealing; I would be free of the pain. Then almost as quickly as it had begun the pain began to ebb away. After a time it was gone completely. I remained as I was, too exhausted to move at all.

The Section Two agent on the other end had no answer for Misato. He did not know what had happened to Shinji. Misato frowned obviously not pleased with what she had been told. "Look," She said finally "Just let me speak to Kaji, and no games. I know he's down there."

"I'm sorry Katsuragi." Kaji said when he picked up the phone, "I'm afraid this is my fault."

"Like hell it is!" Misato snapped back.

Then she paused realizing what Kaji had just said. He had accepted responsibility for something. "Kaji . . ."

"When Shinji found out that Ayanami had been kidnapped he came to me and asked if I knew who had her. I told him it was SEELE although I didn't tell him why or where to find her. However he must have asked Asuka to sneak it from me because she came to visit me later that day. I was distracted writing a report to Commander Ikari so I couldn't keep an eye on her. She must have looked through my papers and found the answer."

"Then what?"

"He left the house at approximately 10:21 this morning on his way to meet his friends, Suzuhara and Aida. While he was walking he called a phone number, which we have yet to trace. Five minutes later a limo pulled up beside him and he got in willingly. We are unable to track his location since then."

"Do you think he turned himself over to SEELE?"

"Most likely. I imagine he thought he could trade places with her."

"You mean there was a reason they took Rei. This wasn't a random kidnapping."

"Nothing SEELE does is random. If they took Rei it means they know she has information they want or need to have."

"Can't we do anything about this?"

"I'm afraid not. The children will have to do this on their own. They're certainly resourceful enough."

"True."

Keel had unshackled me and released us sometime later. Ikari-kun had been forced to carry me out of there, as I was unable to walk. Once we were outside he had used his cell phone to call NERV and ask for transport. It arrived less then five minutes later in thee form of a black sedan. Major Katsuragi and two Section Two agents were inside waiting for us.

The Major ran from the car the minute she saw us. She wrapped her arms around Ikari-kun and then me. "Are you okay?" She kept asking over and over again.

We told her we were fine each time, but she didn't seem to believe us. Eventually we were able to take a seat in the back of the car and we made our way to NERV.

Dr. Akagi ordered that I be quarantined upon arrival. She ordered several tests to check to "see that I was okay" as she said. I actually believed that they feared I had become mentally unstable or contaminated thus preventing me from piloting. I must have fallen asleep before the final test was done because I don't remember it ending or be given permission to return to my apartment.

"Well, doctor is she fit to pilot Unit Zero again or will we be forced to terminate her prematurely?"

"The tests indicated no signs of instability or contamination. She is fit to pilot as far as I can tell however we will have to stick her in the Eva to be sure."

"Very good. Schedule a test for first thing tomorrow morning."

"Won't the major protest? She's always concerned about the pilot's welfare."

"She will, but ignore her. We must know for sure that Rei is still viable. That is the most important concern we have at the present time."

"Understood."

As she left the room, Ritsuko still felt disturbed about the whole thing. The Commander was pushing the First Child too hard. After all she had just been kidnapped and tortured for most of a day. Now she was utterly exhausted and hadn't even been able to stay awake.

I was awakened early the next morning by bright sunlight coming through a nearby window. I sat up sharply believing I was still trapped in SEELE HQ. A painful spasm rippled through my body at the sudden movement and I fell back down on top of the bed where I had laid. No, I was back at NERV, everything was okay, I told myself. My body was still stiff and sore from the multiple injections Keel had ordered the nurses to give me. I rubbed my arms and legs trying to loosen up my joints. I recognized where I was now, one of the rooms of the NERV hospital wing.

I rose to my feet and made my way to the bathroom to clean up. I turned on the facet and splashed the cold water on my face. Then looking into the mirror I sighed at my reflection. I looked horrible with my unusually pale complexion and bags under my eyes. Still I knew things could be worse. I could be dead or suffering from a terrible injury. So I should be glad for the fact I was in relatively good shape.

I looked down and realized that my kimono had been removed in favor of NERV hospital gown. I found my kimono hanging in the closet. There wasn't anything else for me to wear, however, so I sat down on the bed. I could do no more until someone came and told me what my orders were so for now I must wait.

That didn't last long however as Dr. Akagi arrived a few minutes later. She carried a clipboard in her hands and was in her official mode so I knew better then to question her. "I see you are awake. You have a test with Unit Zero in an hour and a half. I suggest you go downstairs and get something to eat while you can."

"Yes, doctor."

I rose to leave but she kept herself between the door and me. "Rei, you should be aware that both the other Children will be here for tests as well and you will be in contact with both Units Zero and One."

"That is not an issue."

"Fine. Then go."

I walked out of the room and down the hall to the cafeteria. The list of food options offered by the commissary was the same as every other day I had come here. I had only two options to choose from that did not contain meat. It's not that my restrictive diet kept me from eating meat; it was because I disliked it. The taste of meat had never agreed with my taste buds. So if I had the choice I preferred not to eat it. Thus I had only two options if I must eat at NERV. I chose what I wanted to eat and made my way towards the area were the seating was. It was mostly empty but I recognized Pilot Sohryu and Ikari-kun sitting there immediately. "Good morning, Wondergirl."

"Come sit with us Ayanami!" Ikari-kun called.

I took one of the available seats and sat down at the table with them. "So did you hear about our Eva tests today? This is so lame. I bet this is all your fault Wondergirl."

Ikari-kun glared at her like he was offended by her comment. "Asuka, you don't know what she's been through."

"Hmph. Like I care." Pilot Sohryu muttered.

I focused my attention on the food before me. I did not like Pilot Sohryu's comments and today they seemed especially annoying. Still I remembered what Ikari-kun had told me that she had done. I felt like I owed her some thanks even though she was being obnoxious. "Arigato, Pilot Sohryu."

Pilot Sohryu dropped her chopsticks and her face betrayed a look of open horror. "What did you say, wonder doll?"

"I said, arigato Pilot Sohryu."

She frowned and picked up her chopsticks. She kept eating like I wasn't even there. Ikari-kun looked back and forth like he was unsure of what to do. "How do you feel Ayanami?" He asked.

"I feel fine."

"That's good."

A short time later we were standing in the dressing rooms. Pilot Sohryu was talking animatedly about how she would once again show us up. I ignored her and focused on getting my plug suit on correctly. Once I was dressed I made my way to the elevator to wait on the others. Ikari-kun arrived moments later but Pilot Sohryu was slower in coming. "You didn't have to wait you know. I can go up to Unit Two on my own."

We said nothing but I was positive she would have waited for us had we not been there. She respected the tradition and disliked to be without our company. We climbed on the elevator together and made our way up to where the tests were being held. When we arrived Dr. Akagi was waiting for us. "Listen up. This is how the tests will proceed. First I want you all in your Eva's for the regular round of tests. Then Asuka will report to Level 7 room 1005A for some special tests while Shinji and Rei will be switching Eva's."

"Why do they get to swap Evas and not me?" Pilot Sohryu demanded.

"Because," Major Katsuragi explained, "We didn't think you would want to have someone else in Unit Two or be in either of the other Evas. Besides, the tests you'll be doing are much more important."

Pilot Sohryu's face brightened at the explanation by the Major. She walked off in the direction of Unit Two with a smile on her face. I looked over at Ikari-kun and our eyes met for a moment. Then we left and made our way to our respective Evas. I opened the entry plug and climbed inside. A few minutes later synchronization was established. I closed my eyes and let my mind wander as I always did. There was no point in wasting energy that I could use somewhere more important later. I became vaguely aware that there was an altercation between Pilot Sohryu and Ikari-kun but I chose to ignore it. This was typical behavior for them so it did nothing to upset me. "Wondergirl, tell this baka I'm right." Pilot Sohryu's voice commanded.

I opened my eyes and looked at my fellow pilots. I was not sure what was going on but it was clear I was about to be dragged into it. "Asuka! Leave Ayanami out of this."

"She can answer the question just fine I believe."

"What is the question?" I asked.

"I said the baka couldn't cook European food to save his life."

I did not know if Ikari-kun could cook European food as I had never seen him do such a feat however I did know he had some skill with cooking. I replied to that effect and saw Pilot Sohryu scowl. Obviously she didn't like that answer. I sighed and closed my eyes choosing to ignore their argument. Most of it seemed pretty pointless to me.

A short time later Dr. Akagi's voice came through on the speaker. "The test is over now. You may get out. Shinji and Rei, you have ten minutes before you switch Evas. Asuka, I want you to report to the room I told you in ten minutes."

"Right," We replied in unison.

I sat on the benches with Ikari-kun, the two of us dripping with LCL. We had wiped off most of it but there was no point in showering until the second round of testing was over. "Are you ready for this, Ayanami?" Ikari-kun asked.

Why? What was I supposed to be ready for? "Why?"

Ikari-kun looked at me was like I was crazy for a brief instant and then he smiled. "Ayanami, you're getting in Unit One again after all these months and I'm getting Unit Zero for the first time. Isn't that something to be nervous about?"

After a moment I nodded. "True it's scary because it's different but that does not mean it will be bad."

"You're always the optimist, Ayanami."

"Am I?"

Before he could say more Doctor Akagi appeared and told us that it was time to get in. I nodded to Ikari-kun and made my up the stairs to the entry plug of Unit One. Beside me I saw Ikari-kun walk up the stairs to the entry plug of Unit Zero. I opened the entry plug and climbed inside. Then I sat down in the pilot's seat and waited for instructions. They came moments later. "Rei were going to run the tests with you first since you've had contact with Unit One before. So Shinji we'll save you for last."

"Understood." We both replied.

I made myself comfortable as the LCL was pumped into the entry plug. The lights flashed and I felt my mind become one with the Eva's soul. After having done this so many times during my life and once already today the process was a familiar routine to me. Yui Ikari's voice hung like a dark cloud in the air.

The others said being in the Eva was like a mother's protective embrace but I had never understood. I had never felt that way. Unit Zero's embrace felt more like one who both loved and hated me all at once. Unit One, on the other hand, was like standing in a frozen ice field that left you just warm enough to not freeze. Being in Unit Two with the others was the closest I had come to that feeling although I was aware that had not Ikari-kun and Pilot Sohryu had been there I would have been rejected.

_You. What are you doing here again?_

**I am ordered. **

_Get out. I do not want your presence here. _

**I can't. There is no way for me to leave. **

_I don't care. I do not like you. _

I knew what her reason for hating me was. It was because the Commander had made me from her as a replacement for her absence until they met again. So she had every right to hate me. Still I wished she wouldn't give me such a cold shoulder. I was glad though. Yui could do much worse to me then she was.

None too soon the test was over. I was allowed to leave for the observation deck to see Ikari-kun's test. At first everything went smoothly as planned. Then however alarms started going off. "Ayanami what are you doing? Get out of my head. Go make this stop!" His pain voice shouted over the com.

"My god! It's the same error as before!" Lt. Ibuki cried.

Unit Zero's eye flashed and she began to struggle against the binds the held her in place. She roared and tore herself free from what was holding her back. She came at the glass window and began to pound at it.

_Die._

**Why? Why are you doing this?**

_Because I am your true self with no limits. I do this because this is what you desire. You hate yourself and you hate the Commander and NERV. I am doing what you have not the strength or power to. _

Major Katsuragi pulled me back sharply from the window as broken shards of glass from the window flew through the air. I was pressed against the far wall far away from any danger.

Abruptly Unit Zero doubled foreword clutching her head. She began to pound her head against the wall as if trying to escape the pain. "Eject the entry plug and flood the camber with Bakelite." Dr. Akagi's voice commanded.

Lt. Ibuki entered the codes but they were not accepted. Unit Zero had locked them out. "It's no good!" Maya replied.

Next she attempted to cut the power but this did not work.

Dr. Akagi clenched her jaw trying to think of something fast. However it was Major Katsuragi who came up with the plan. "Send Rei in with Unit One and bring Asuka back down and get her in Unit Two. They should be able to stop Unit Zero."

After some momentary shock Dr. Akagi agreed. "Rei, get down to Unit One as fast as you can."

I nodded and rose to my feet from my crouched position on the floor. "Rei?"

I turned to see the major looking at me. "Be careful."

"Yes, ma'am."

I made my way down the hall to where Unit One waited in an adjacent cage. There was a good chance I wouldn't make it there if Unit Zero continued her path of destruction. To my amazement I reached Unit One without incident several moments later. I opened the entry plug and climbed inside. LCL rushed in and synchronization began. The cold unrelenting presence of Yui Ikari embraced me.

_You. Why are you back?_

**I want to save Ikari-kun. He is in danger.**

There was no response from the Eva's soul but I felt a lessening of the resistance of the Eva to my presence. I guess Yui was willing to work with me once again if it was for Ikari-kun's sake. That would have to do; I needed her to cooperate with me if I was to be successful. "Rei can you hear me?" Inquired Major Katsuragi's voice.

"Yes, ma'am"

"Good listen up. Your mission is to remove the power cable from Unit Zero's back and restrain her until the battery runs out."

"Understood."

Judging by the look on Major Katsuragi's face it would seem she thought something was amiss. Most likely it was my calm reaction to events.

The door between the Eva cage where I was and the next began to open allowing me a clear view of the berserker Unit Zero. The single red eye glowed menacingly at me. Unit Zero was on to me and it did not like my presence. I had to do this and quick. I didn't have much time. Otherwise Unit Zero might win this fight.

I made my way cautiously into the room trying not to provoke the wrath of Unit Zero on me. However Unit Zero was already suspicious and my nearing movement only served to focus its attention on me. She roared at the top of its lungs shaking the structure of NERV. Then she drew her progressive knife and aimed it at me. I drew one of Unit One's knives in response. We stood like that for what seemed like an eternity staring at each other. Then Unit Zero broke her stance and charged.

Unit Zero tried to cut Unit One with the knife but I dodged or countered every blow. Unit Zero must have realized as I had that nothing would get done this way. She acted like she was going in for the attack but at the last minute ducked to grab me with both arms around the waist. I was slammed hard against the wall. I got one arm free and smacked Unit Zero hard across the face sending her stumbling backward. Unit Zero was back on her feet quickly and roared in defiance at the humiliation I had dealt her. This was not good; there wasn't enough room.

I stepped back from the rampaging Eva and focused my gaze on the target, Unit Zero's power cord. I steadied the knife in my hand and aimed it. I flicked my wrist hard and the knife went flying. With a soft thunk, the knife buried itself in the tiled floor, severing the cord as it went. The cord began to writhe and twist like and angry viper as electricity cracked through it. Still, part one was accomplished. The power supply was cut.

I dodged as Unit Zero tried to tackle me again. I hit her from behind and knocked Unit Zero to the ground. Quickly I got on top, pinning her down with the aid of Unit One's slightly heavier frame. At first this tactic worked, Unit Zero thrashed uselessly for about thirty-seconds beneath my grasp. Then she got one foot loosed and shoved her knee deep into my stomach. I groaned and doubled over in pain. Unit Zero got loose and prepared to attack while I was down.

I was not to be taken lightly however. I knifed Unit Zero in the arm when she tried to grab me. Unit Zero roared in pain and yanked out the knife. She tossed the blood-covered object aside and out of reach. So now I was out of knives and Unit Zero still had one. I'd have to be careful. I glanced at the timer to see Unit Zero still had 4 minutes and 10 seconds left of power. This would be rough.

Both of us stood apart judging our next move. I was glad for the brief break allowing me to catch my breath. All I had to do was to stay on my feet and keep her busy until the battery back up power ran out. I saw no point in moving until Unit Zero did. As long as she was standing still, not attacking me or anything else, I was okay.

Unfortunately Unit Zero was intent on causing damage and I was in the way. So my break didn't last long. She drew her final progressive knife and advanced in my direction. I looked around but saw no prog knife with in reach. My best hope was to disarm her as fast as possible. Thankfully, that was something I was good at. So it was time to put my skills to work.

I dodged the first blow by Unit Zero and grabbed her arm with both of mine. I twisted mercilessly at the appendage and heard the sickening snap of armor and bone. Unit Zero roared in pain and dropped the knife. I punched Unit Zero in the stomach and it was her turn to double over in pain. I tried to hit her over the head to finish Unit Zero off but she caught my hand, biting down hard on it. I backed away from Unit Zero shaking it hard to relieve the pain. That was a big mistake.

Unit Zero charged and tackled me to the ground. Her massive from came down with a thud on my chest cracking ribs and knocking the breath out of me. She grinned maliciously at me and raised her fists. They came down hard beating both sides of my face. My head was thrown back and forth, side to side. I felt bones and armor crunch beneath the powerful fists. It was all I could do to hold her off. My consciousness faded in and out in hazy fragments. The beating was excruciating and I was nearly numb with pain.

The next thing I knew I was laying on my back in a NERV hospital bed. I was afraid to move at first because I didn't know how injured as I was. Hesitantly however, I carefully moved myself into a sitting position. My right hand minus the end of my fingers was heavily wrapped in bandages. My head and cheek were also wrapped in bandages. Thankfully that seemed to be the extent of the damage. I moved slowly to the edge of the bed and set my feet on the floor. I rose to my feet testing my weight before I tried to stand. Both of my legs were fine and could support my weight. I was astonished that I could since I had been unable to stand after the last two times I had been injured fighting in an Eva.

I looked around and noticed a second bed behind a curtain. There was a person laying in it although it was impossible to tell whom from where I was. I made my way slowly towards it. I used my left hand to pull back the curtain and stared down at Ikari-kun. One of his arms was in a sling, his other arm was bandaged and his head was wrapped up as well. Still his injuries were minor all things considered. Ikari-kun opened his eyes and looked back at me. "Ayanami, are you okay . . ."

His voice cracked as he spoke. Did he blame himself for this recent incident? It was not his fault. In fact I had the distinct impression it was mine. "I couldn't help you during the fifth angel, or when you were kidnapped. I was only a burden to you. If I hadn't shown up you wouldn't have been forced to choose my death or tell. Now I've gone and hurt you more."

I shook my head. "No you did not hurt me. It was the Eva that did that."

"But I was the pilot."

"The Eva was berserker, you had no control."

Ikari-kun seemed to relax some after that. I was glad. He should not blame himself for any of those situations he had mentioned. "Ayanami, can you help me up?" Ikari-kun asked.

Shinji looked up at Rei's face. It was blank like normal but there was calm placidness about it. She seemed to be at ease with everything even if he wasn't. He felt responsible for his role in events since his arrival. His presence had lead to her being injured twice. He also hadn't been a very good friend to her despite the fact he knew she needed him. Shinji was surprised that Rei wasn't more resentful of him. He knew he deserved worse but Rei continued to see the best in him. She always had that small hidden smile of hers for him despite what he had done. There were times when he was sure she was an angel trapped on earth. It was the only explanation for her gentle nature.

Still he had done one thing which he could feel a small sense of pride. He had held her twice now when she was injured and had helped her walk a third time. It looked like it was her turn to repay him for that. Shinji was glad it was her who was here because he knew she would be gentle with him.

I nodded and bent down so that Ikari-kun could put his good arm around my shoulder. With my help he made my way out of the bed. We stood together facing the open window. He leaned his weight against shoulder and I kept my arm around his waist to support him. "Are you okay, Ikari-kun?"

"Yes, Ayanami. Arigato."

We lapsed back into silence and I sensed like Ikari-kun was upset about something. Based on past experience he would not talk right way but he would speak when he was ready. So I had to wait and accept his silence until the time came when he was ready. It didn't take long for this to happen. "Ayanami . . . I'm sorry. I haven't been very kind to you have I? If it weren't for me you wouldn't have been hurt."

"It is not your fault Ikari-kun. Had you not shown up I would have died during the fight with the first angel."

"What about the fight with the angel when you were my shield? I couldn't protect you. I exposed you to danger because I couldn't make the first shot like I promised. Or better yet, what about yesterday I when I went and did it again?"

"You could not help events beyond your control. You are not responsible for me or my safely. I need to do things for myself."

"Ayanami everyone needs someone they can rely on to watch their back. You don't have anyone like that. I though I could be that for you but . . ."

His voice trailed off, but I head the unspoken words; _'but I failed you.'_ I squeezed his hand and offered him the most comforting look I could. "You did not let me down Ikari-kun."

"Do you really trust me that much Rei? Why? I'm not worthy."

"I've trusted you from the minute you held me in your arms the day we met. You have always been kind to me. So I have no reason to distrust you."

We looked at each other and our eyes locked. Ikari-kun gently put his hand underneath my chin lifting my gaze slightly. He leaned closer "Ayanami . . . I'm . . ."

He sighed and shook his head. "What Ikari-kun?"

Ikari-kun blushed and looked away. "Would . . . would you . . . mind if I kissed you properly?"

I shook my head. Not one part of me objected, not at all. This was his way of trying to say thanks and sorry for everything. Slowly our lips touched. I felt this feeling of tingly happiness building with in me. I couldn't believe how different yet good this felt. We stopped only so that we could breathe and I carefully helped him from the room. I felt a small smile creep across my lips.

I felt like I was walking somewhere above the ground. However it didn't take much to bring me back down. This happened with the arrival of Pilot Sohryu. She was smiling broadly at Ikari-kun and wrapped her arms around his. "So how does the _great third child_ feel today?"

"Asuka careful you're hurting my arm." Ikari-kun mumbled.

Pilot Sohryu didn't seem to hear his pleas however. I tried to tell her to let him go but she ignored me. I placed my hand on her shoulder, and Pilot Sohryu glared at me. "Yes, Wondergirl? You may leave now. I can handle this baka from here."

She jerked him roughly and I was forced to let him go to avoid causing pain. She pulled him out of sight and I was left feeling like I had done something wrong. I shook my head and made my way back to my room. I found one of my school uniforms in the closet. I pulled it out, showered and put it on as fast as I could. I went to find Dr. Akagi to learn what I was to do now. I found her in front of Unit Zero examining something on the clipboard in her hands. She frowned when she saw me standing in the doorway. "Yes, Rei? How do you feel?"

"I feel fine. What are my orders Doctor?"

The expression on the Doctor' face said, 'Go away. I do not want you here.' Yet her voice was calm. "I want you to remain in NERV. I need to run an activation test with you and Unit Zero."

"Understood."

Dr. Akagi twitched like she didn't like my response. Did she expect me to rebel or show anger? Yes, she did. She wanted me to not accept my orders so she could hurt me. Why? Why did Doctor Akagi hate me so much? I did not understand. "Leave." She commanded.

There was a barely perceptible edge of iciness to her voice. I left before I could become the target of her anger. The way her eyes looked at me there was nothing but abhorrence and revulsion.

I went to the pilot's lounge since there was nowhere else for me to go. The area was deserted since the other two pilots had left sometime ago with the Major. Still I did not feel like taking advantage of the freedom. My hand was beginning to throb because the sedatives were wearing off. I lay down in one of the reclining benches. I loosened the bandages and massaged it gently with my other hand. This action helped and the pain lessened some. I wondered vaguely if I should ask Doctor Akagi for another dose but her eyes flashed through my mind. There was no way I would go back until absolutely necessary.

I remained as I was for a long time quietly soothing my injured hand. The door opened and heard someone enter. "Rei are you in here?"

"Yes sir."

I rose to my feet to meet him. The Commander was unusually grim this evening. Something must be wrong. This was not good if the Commander was upset. "Rei I need to talk to you."

"Yes sir? What do you want?"

"Rei you should not have done that earlier. It was a very wrong and bad thing to do."

"What was?"

"Kissing the Third Child. You are changing the plan. That is not allowed."

I did not know what to say. What was wrong with kissing Ikari-kun? I did not comprehend what the problem was. Still this order came from the Commander so I knew I could not question it. So there would be no more kissing Ikari-kun.

There was one more thing I needed to discuss with the Commander. "Commander Ikari sir?"

"Yes, Rei?"

"I told them. I told SEELE how to attach a soul to a body. I had to. I am sorry."

The Commander wrapped his arms around me so that I couldn't move. He leaned down low so that his face was right next to mine. "Don't worry dear. The old fools would have found out anyway."

"What?"

"You destiny is inescapable. You will do your part when the time comes. So you must be a good girl and follow the plan, okay?"

"Why?"

The commander's hand slowly moved down my chest until it came to rest over my stomach. I could feel my skin begin to crawl in revulsion. My stomach knotted tightly and I thought I could be sick. There was such power coming from his hand. Just like the angels, only stronger. Whatever it was it was pure evil. "If you do, I will bestow Adam upon you. Then you will realize your ultimate fate."

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What's up with Gendo at the end of this chapter? Basically he became lonely for Yui and was mad at Rei for going against the schedual (Kissing Shinji). So he decided to kill to birds with one stone essentially. Twisted I know. 

Reveiw and tell me what you thought!

And finally a teaser for Chapter 8.

_I was surprised to hear how heart broken she sounded. It was so different from the Pilot Sohryu I knew. I made my way to her side and placed my hand over hers. I didn't know what to say to her. I had never had any family or loved ones to lose, let alone lost someone so I had no idea how she felt. "I wish I could say I know how you feel but I do not. Still I'm sure your mother is very proud of you." _

Yes, I know it's the same one I left you with last time. I am evil, aren't I?


	12. Lessons in Helping Hands

Haha! I am back with another chapter! I said I'd return didn't I?

Well I don't have anything more to say but R& R, please.

I don't own Eva! Why would I even be here if I did? 'Nuf said.

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* * *

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**Chapter 8: Lessons in Helping Hands**

I would not learn until the next day that the damage from the Eva fight was actually minimal. There was no significant injury to the Eva cage and they were in shape to be used as normal. The Evas required only minimal repair. The worst damage was the injury to Unit Zero's arm and Unit One's head. According to what Dr. Akagi told me it was Pilot Sohryu who kept the damage to a minimum. After I had blacked out Unit One was on the edge of berserker when she had stepped in and pulled Unit Zero off me. Thus I was saved from the final minute of beating.

Ikari-kun and I had the week off to rest up and recover from our injuries. Dr. Akagi also needed time to repair the damage to our Evangelion Units. Neither of us complained. Any amount of time guaranteed free from Dr. Akagi's tests was much appreciated.

I was also determined to stay away from the Commander as much as possible. Although I had not seen his hand, I knew the name of the being inside. It was the lost first angel of light Adam, the enemy. I did not trust Adam or what the Commander would do with him. So I wanted to be as far away as possible.

On this day I once again found myself at school staring aimlessly out of the classroom window. I had not spoken to Ikari-kun since he had left me at NERV the other day. There was a lot of stuff I wanted to say but I wasn't sure if I could. I kept glancing periodically at my computer screen hoping someone had sent me a message. There had been no word from anyone about anything. It was as if the fact I was kidnapped never happened.

It would have made sense if I had thought about it. My kidnapping had been caused by a war between two secretive organizations. Obviously they would want to keep that event unknown. So there was no way to talk about it. Fair enough, I decided.

I looked at my computer screen and saw I had one message. It was from Aida-san. I clicked on it and a screen came up with a one-line sentence. _Ayanami, I'm glad to see you're okay. I still have your tiger if you want it back. _

I had forgotten the tiger I won that night. It seemed like it almost disappeared on me that evening. I found that I missed it and wanted it back. _Aida-san when may I get it back? _I typed into the computer screen.

I went back to my normal pose while I waited for a response. This didn't last long. My response came in less then two minutes. _Can you come home with me after school? If you do I can give it to you then. If not I'll try to bring it with me tomorrow_

I had nothing to do after school but return to my apartment and stare at the ceiling like I always did Going to get my tiger from Aida-san was a much better idea. I quickly typed that I would be willing to go with him after school. His response was simple: _See you then Ayanami-san. I hope you don't mind but Shinji and Touji are coming with us._

_That is not a problem. _

Despite my calm words I was not totally all right with it. I had not had such close contact with Ikari-kun for two days now. I knew when the time came I would feel unsure and awkward. Still there was no way for me to put that into words.

That afternoon the four of us met outside of the school. We walked along the streets of Tokyo III to the Aida residence in the heart of the city. The apartment was on the second floor of the apartment building where he lived. No one was home when we arrived and the house was cold and empty. We went around and turned on the lights first. Then Ikari-kun and Suzuhara sat down and pulled out their schoolbooks to study. Aida-san meanwhile went into a back room to get my tiger. He came back holding the massive stuffed creature in his arms. It dangled hopelessly on the floor.

I took it from him feeling the soft fuzzy fabric against my bare arms. There was no reason for me to stay so I decided to leave. However Ikari-kun called me back. "Ayanami, why don't you stay and study with us?"

I agreed and set my books and tiger on the floor. Suzuhara took out his copy of the latest science review sheet. He went around the circle asking each of us a random question. This process went on with everyone taking a turn at being questioner and the questioned. I found this all to be helpful despite the weirdness it began with. After several hours of this it was late and all of us were ready to eat. After much debate it was decided to invite Pilot Sohryu and class Rep. Horaki-san over to eat with us and order carry out. I was asked to call Pilot Sohryu because the others were unwilling to. So I went to the kitchen and picked up the phone from the receiver. I dialed the number for the Katsuragi residence and waited for Pilot Sohryu to answer. "Hello?" Her voice demanded from the other end.

"Pilot Sohryu, this is Pilot Ayanami. Ikari-kun, Suzuhara-san and I are having take-out at the Aida residence. Would you and Horaki-san care to join us?"

I heard Pilot Sohryu set the receiver down before calling out, "Hikari, The stooges and Wondergirl are having dinner at Aida's place. Are we going to eat with them or not?"

"Of course we are Asuka. Let's go so we can get there before the food does."

There was a pause and Pilot Sohryu voice spoke, "Tell the stooges we'll be there as soon as possible."

"Hai."

The others were all waiting anxiously for Pilot Sohryu and Horaki-san's response. I told them that they would be arriving soon and they all cheered. I had to wonder if they were so eager to have them over why they had been so reluctant to call. I guessed that I would likely not to understand anytime soon. Aida phoned for the food and we went back to studying while we waited. I was in the middle of my turn at questioning when Pilot Sohryu and Horaki-san arrived. "What are you doing? You're actually studying for tomorrow's test?"

"Well, why aren't you?" Aid-san retorted.

"I already know everything. I graduated college right before I came to Japan."

"Then why are your grades poor?" Ikari-kun snapped.

Pilot Sohryu looked stunned for a moment, and then became defensive. "Japanese Kanji is too difficult and complicated. I haven't memorized all of them yet. School would be easy if I knew what the questions said."

The argument ended when the doorbell rang signaling the arrival of food. We looked around trying to decide who was going to pay. A stalemate was reached. This would never do I decided. I rose to my feet and pulled my NERV credit card from my pocket. I could feel the others eyes on me as I walked to the door. I paid the man on the other side for the food and brought it inside. I set it on the kitchen table and Ikari-kun came in followed by the others. "You didn't have to pay for it you know." He said.

"I was happy to pay for food. Do not worry."

Suzuhara looked about to protest but Pilot Sohryu butted in. "If Wonder girl wants to pay let her."

I got the feeling she was about to add on, _'but god knows she's a freak and does what she wants' _but restrained herself before she could. There was no further protest as the desire for food took over. We sat down around the table and began to dish out food. I kept myself to the food without meat, which I had requested. Pilot Sohryu of course commented on this but Ikari-kun defended me.

I was grateful for the help even if I hadn't needed it. I disliked facing Pilot Sohryu's frequent insults on my own. My way of dealing with her did nothing but increase her anger towards me. I did not understand why she constantly targeted me so clearly. She said it was because I was a doll but I did not understand what it meant. Did she have something against the dolls that I reminded her of. Maybe it was because I was not out going and rebellious like she was. Was I too quiet and accepting of fate, which led to her hating me? I could only guess at those.

Dinner ended quietly after that and we all returned to the living room to study. We were still there went the front door opened. We all looked up to see a young woman walk in. She wasn't overly tall and had an average build. She had light hair and freckles like Aida-san. So it appeared they were related. "Sana what are you doing here? Did you have a fight with Ren again?" Aida-san asked.

Sana flopped down heavily on the sofa and sighed sadly. "We decided to break up, permanently." She said softly.

Aida-san looked surprise at the news. "But you were going to get married in one month."

Sana closed her eyes and seemed to want to do nothing but sit there and be left alone. I could feel her pain even with her blank careless expression. "Not like that was my fault. He went and crashed into a tree then died. **I NEVER HAD A CHOICE**!"

Those last words came out in a fearful anguished scream. We all flinched slightly but she lay back down. Aida-san looked apologetically at us. He came up to me and nodded towards the door. "Ayanami could you go out to the red car out front, it will be hers, and see if there's a young girl in there?"

"Hai. What should I do if there is?"

"Bring her inside."

I nodded back. "Hai."

I made my way down the stairs to the parking area for the apartment. I found the car he was talking about, mostly because it was parked oddly and still running. I looked inside and saw a toddler with short curly brown hair and freckles sleeping in the back seat. I turned off the car and stuck the keys in my pocket. Then I opened the back door and gently unstrapped the child from her car seat.

Even more gingerly I lifted the sleeping girl into my arms and carried her up the stairs back to the Aida apartment. This was not an easy task with my hand still in bandages and not fully recovered. My hands protested the weight I carried in them; as I always did with pain and discomfort, I ignored it. Amazingly she never woke and I was able to lay her in one of the chairs with out incident.

I massaged my hand slowly trying to ease the pain and stiffness in it. Dr. Akagi's supply of pain pills had run out earlier today and I hadn't bothered to ask for more from her. I hadn't thought I would need them. Aida-san motioned all of us into another room. "I'm sorry about all this guys. I would really appreciate it if any of you could stay and help."

"Sorry but I got to take the Class Rep Home and pay a visit to my sister."

"I'll stay." Ikari-kun volunteered. "Misato won't be home so she won't miss me."

"I will remain here as well. I have no reason to return home."

Aida-san smiled obviously pleased with our willingness to help. Pilot Sohryu sighed and said, "I'll stay since Shinji is."

"Arigato."

We all filed out into the other room. Both Sana and the baby girl were asleep. The four of us got us got Sana into on of the back rooms. She was so out of it that she didn't even stir despite our clumsiness. After that Suzuhara-san and Horaki-san left for home. The rest of retreated to the kitchen to continue studying. I checked on the child periodically. About and hour later she woke up, tottered into the room and looked around at us sleepily. "Mommy?" She mumbled.

Aida-san called her to us and she curled up in his lap and began to suck her thumb. "I'm sorry Mina your mom's not here. She's asleep okay."

"Want Mommy." She mumbled with a thick tear filled voice.

We had no response for the girl. I wished I was able to comfort her better but we were helpless to do more then to keep her entertained and happy. It was apparent that most of the fear she felt towards us was directed at me. I couldn't blame her for it, my red eyes and blue hair must look strange and scary to a young child.

I found food for her in the refrigerator and held it out to her. She took it hesitantly in her chubby hands, chewing it thoughtfully in her mouth. I somehow knew without ever having been told that children need food to be fun so I made it fly around and do funny things to get her to eat. She quickly overcame her apprehension around me or at least forgot her reasons for it, when she decided to sit in my lap. She nodded back off to sleep there, one of her hands around my finger.

"I can't believe it Ayanami. You're great with children."

"You . . . well, you look like a . . . a mother . . ." Ikari-kun said.

Pilot Sohryu scoffed. "Wondergirl has the maternal instinct of snail. What are you talking about?"

"No. I'm serious. She's got a hidden talent for working with children."

Seeing that she was loosing the argument Pilot Sohryu turned on me. "Let me guess your dream is to be a mother. Right?"

"I have no intentions of becoming a mother. It is impossible for me anyway. I am more concerned with surviving to see the end of the angels."

"Humph. Typical. The one who's good with children can't have any and the one who refuses to, can."

She frowned and turned around. Once I again I felt like there was something I had done that was wrong or offensive. I couldn't put my finger on it though. I shook my head trying to ease the uncomfortable feeling. Pilot Sohryu left the room and the rest of us sighed and sat down. "Well no point staying up anymore. We should go to bed. Ayanami will you stay with Mina tonight?"

I nodded. "What about Asuka and I?" Ikari-kun asked.

"I need you to help me take turns watching over my sister."

"Sure."

I bid them goodnight and they left the room. I moved little by little trying to get into position where I could stand up with Mina in my arms. After a few moments I reached that place and rose to my feet with her in my arms. I carried her out to the sofa and lay her down. I lay down beside her and covered us both with a blanket. I was asleep after a few minutes.

I was awakened some unknown time later when Mina began to move. I raised my head sleepily and blinked in the darkness. "Mina? What do you want?"

Mina was quiet for a moment before she said, "Dry."

Dry? It took a moment for me to decode what she meant. When I did I realized she was thirsty. I made my way to the kitchen and filled a glass with water. Pilot Sohryu sat dozing with her head resting on the table. She muttered something in her sleep. I paused and went closer, "Mommy . . ."

I was surprised to hear how heart broken she sounded. It was so different from the Pilot Sohryu I knew. I made my way to her side and placed my hand over hers. I didn't know what to say to her. I had never had any family or loved ones to lose, let alone lost someone so I had no idea how she felt. "I wish I could say I know how you feel but I do not. Still I'm sure your mother is very proud of you."

"Mommy . . . Why . . .? Was . . . I . . . hate you . . . yet I still love . . ."

I could feel the anguish she felt and it made my throat tighten. I wiped the tears from Pilot Sohryu's eyes. Then I began to massage her back as I hummed soothingly to her. She calmed down at my touch. I felt better knowing I had helped her. I was about to leave but Pilot Sohryu awoke and sat up. She glared angrily at me, wavering between hatred and surprised relief. "You." She murmured her voice registering what she felt.

Anger swamped over her features moments later. "How dare you do that? I didn't ask for your help or anyone else's. Get out of my sight and never come near me again."

She stomped out of the room and down the hall. I let out a breath I hadn't known I was holding. There were many things I wanted to say to Pilot Sohryu but it was too late now. She would not hear me anymore. I made my way out into the other room and gave Mina her drink. Then the two of us went back to sleep.

In the morning I was the first one up. I left Mina sleeping on the sofa and made my way to the kitchen. There was only one thing to do I figured, make breakfast. So I went through the kitchen seeing what our options were. Not that I had any idea what I was doing. I only a limited knowledge of how to cook but I had participated in the cooking lesson's at school.

I remembered the first time I had cooked anything I had burned my hands slightly and was forced to visit the school nurse. Still I was feeling brave enough to attempt to cook again.

I found some rice in the closet, fish in the refrigerator along with some fresh vegetables. The first thing to do was to cook the rice, that much I knew. So I filled a pan with water and put it on the stove. Once the water was boiling I put the rice in. While it was cooking I chopped the vegetables with a knife. This proved to be a difficult and frustrating task not only because of my lack of skill but also because of my right hand's lack of mobility. The vegetables end up coming out in odd shapes and seizes. My hands did not come out well either; they had many small cuts and scratches on them. By the time I was done with the vegetables the rice was nearly done. I added them along with the fish into the pan. I stirred them slowly with a big serving spoon I had found.

I was still stirring when Ikari-kun wandered into the room. "Ayanami, what's that smell . . ." He mumbled.

"Breakfast." I replied hesitantly.

Ikari-kun's eyes widened at the word. Then they fell on my hands. "Ayanami! What did you do to you hands?"

"I can not cut well so I injured my hands."

Ikari-kun grabbed me by the shoulder and steered me towards the sink. He turned on the water and made me wash my hands well with soap. Then he helped me bandage them up. I did not like this as it was the second time in a week but Ikari-kun said I must or my hands would become infected. "You have to take care of yourself Rei or otherwise you'll become ill."

By the time this had all been accomplished breakfast was ready. Aida-san and Pilot Sohryu had joined us both also looking exhausted themselves. When it was revealed that I had cooked the food Pilot Sohryu said that there was no way breakfast would be any good. Still she joined us when we sat down at the table to eat.

My efforts were rewarded by the praise I received from the others. Even Pilot Sohryu had a passing compliment for me. I felt good for the approval they gave me for my efforts. I could tell it wasn't just because they felt bad for me. They had liked my cooking.

During breakfast I learned what had happened to Ren that upset Sana. Apparently he had lost control of his car and crashed into a pole killing himself on impact. I was also to discover that Ren was Mina's father and Sana was supposed to marry him in a month.

When we were done eating I fed Mina and then it was time to go. All three of us Pilots had tests with Doctor Akagi in two hours and she despised us being late. Before we left Ikari-kun promised Aida-san that we would be back later when the tests were over.

An hour and a half later we were standing together in front of the main elevator waiting for it to come and carry us upstairs to the testing area. However the elevator never arrived. As it came to a stop behind the gate the lights flickered and power died. I stood calmly waiting for the emergency power to take over but after the expected 15 to 20 seconds nothing had happened. I glanced over at both of my fellow pilots to see that they were both also upset.

"Something's wrong, the power isn't supposed to go out like this? Is it?" Ikari-kun asked.

I shook my head. "In the event of a power failure the emergency power generator should have come on in fifteen to twenty seconds. It has not. This is abnormal."

"Well, duh!" Snapped Pilot Sohryu. "Thank-you, Captain Obvious."

I ignored her remark and dug for my emergency instruction manual in my bag. I found it and opened it to the page on power failure. After reading it over I turned to tell what I had learned to my companions. "It says that in the event of a power malfunction we should report to central command for instruction from our Commanders."

Pilot Sohryu made a face at me that said clearly, how are we supposed to get there from here? I had no answer for that. I had never had to move within NERV without the elevators and escalators. Still I had NERV's layout memorized so I should not be hard for me to find another way to get to where we needed to go.

After some consideration I had realized that there were the air ducts we could climb through or if we could find them there were left over passageways we could ascend to get to the desired location. I knew of no other way to pass between floors without power. I was brought back to my senses by the sound of Pilot Sohryu's voice. " . . . Leader here okay?"

Ikari-kun seemed not to want to question the red hair girl's statement. "What?" I questioned not understanding.

"I said that I am the leader here. Got that Wondergirl?"

I was in no mood to argue with her. If she wanted to be the leader so be it. I wasn't about to protest. Looking at her eyes I wondered if she was still mad about my comforting her last night.

We started walking off together none of us saying a word. Pilot Sohryu walked confidently in front while Ikari-kun and I walked side by side behind her. It didn't take long for me to realize the Pilot Sohryu didn't really know what she was doing. She had declared herself in charge however so unless she asked for help I was not going to tell her the way. We paused after a time, Pilot Sohryu confused about where to go from here.

I waited patiently for her to give us direction. She folded her arms and frowned in frustration. When it appeared that none was forth coming I decided that it was time to speak up. "I believe we should go that way." I suggested.

Pilot Sohryu whirled around and glared at me with deadly anger. "Well then clearly we should go the other way." She said with sickly sweet smile.

She turned and marched on in her chosen direction leaving Ikari-kun and I standing with stunned expressions on our faces. We hurried after her in order to keep up. The path she had chosen led us to one of the narrow passageways that went out of NERV. At the end Pilot Sohryu began to crank the handle.

After a few moments the door flew open to revel the streets of Tokyo III along with an unexpected surprise for the other two pilots. There was an angel of the other side. It was large and spider like with multicolor eyes. I had known it would be there when I had sensed it at the head of the passageway but I stepped back out of fright anyway. The other's reacted even more strongly. They both stumbled backwards several more steps back and their faces were blanched white.

Pilot Sohryu rushed forward and slammed the door shut. Then we hurried back down the passageway. This time Pilot Sohryu led us down the path I had suggested. A short distance away we found the narrow crawl tunnels. Pilot Sohryu went up first Ikari-kun second and myself last. During the climb up Pilot Sohryu made a large fuss about Ikari-kun looking up her skirt. I did not understand why she cared so much. If she didn't want him to see that she should have let him go first or put me between them since I could careless either way. We climbed slowly carefully feeling our way through the dark. We had to pause periodically to check our position with in the structure of NERV.

I was partially in control, since I was the only one familiar with the complexities of NERV's layout, although Pilot Sohryu tried to hide that fact. When we reached the correct floor we all climbed out and began walking towards our destination, the Eva cage. With the next angel out there we had to get launched as soon as possible.

When we reached the final pair of doors they were locked tightly. We had to get in another way. Pilot Sohryu led us back down the passageway to an area where the ceiling tiles could be removed. Ikari-kun pulled out the tile and gave Pilot Sohryu a boost up. Then he lifted me up and I climbed inside. Finally Pilot Sohryu and I worked together to help Ikari-kun inside last of all. We crawled along Pilot Sohryu had the lead, then came Ikari-kun and last of all was me.

We arrived over the Eva cage a few minutes later. We could tell this fact because of the pungent smell of LCL rising up through the floor. Pilot Sohryu kicked out the floor and the three of us went tumbling to the floor. I landed on my own to feet but the other two were sitting on their bottoms.

Dr. Akagi was standing a short distance away with Major Katsuragi and frowning disapprovingly at us. Pilot Sohryu and Ikari-kun got quickly to their feet and brushed themselves off. "Good you're here. The Evas will be ready shortly."

"What?' Ikari-kun stammered.

"Your father has been helping to prepare the Eva's for manual launch."

Ikari-kun's face displayed his surprise at the news. The Commander had been sweating along with the men to prepare the Eva's for battle. Major Katsuragi handed each of us our own plug suits and we left to find a secluded corner to change. Five minutes later we stood dressed and ready to pilot. The Commander appeared sweating and slightly begrimed from his work. "The Evas await." He said.

We all nodded and departed for our Evangelion units. Activation occurred moments later. We then had to physically break and remove our restraints. This was a painful and arduous task that took several minutes to accomplish. Once freed, we climbed into the wide shafts to reach the surface. Our mission was to find the angel and kill it as fast as possible.

As we climbed up the last shaft burning acid unexpectedly rained down on us. Pilot Sohryu lost her balance first and fell on top of Ikari-kun. He lost his hold under the extra weight and he fell on top of me. I then lost my grip and the three of us landed at the bottom of the shaft. I grunted in discomfort as the other two got awkwardly from on top of me. Then we retreated back to figure out what to do next.

Pilot Sohryu quickly came up with a plan to defeat the angel. One of us was to retrieve the fallen gun, the only weapon we had. Another was to be defense, guarding the other two from the burning acid. The last was to be the offense to use the gun to kill the angel.

I volunteered immediately to be the defense. The pain from the acid would be no problem for me, as I knew I could easily handle it. Pilot Sohryu however said that she would take the defense no question about it. Ikari-kun became the offense and I was to retrieve the gun. Pilot Sohryu's logic for this was that I still had a bad hand and Ikari-kun's injuries had not fully healed. The defense she claimed needed a firm hold and lots of strength.

With our jobs known we all set to work. Pilot Sohryu climbed up through the shaft and took a defensive position. I quickly made my way down to the bottom of the shaft and seized the gun. I tossed it up to Ikari-kun who waited planted in position above me. "Asuka, get clear." He shouted.

A burst of fire echoed up the shaft as it killed the angel. The acid stopped falling and the angel fell silent. I sighed and sat back, but I let my guard too soon. Pilot Sohryu and Ikari-kun came crashing down on top of me moments later. I grunted under the weight of the other two Eva's on top of mine.

A short time later power returned and we had returned in the Eva cages none of us the worse the wear for the fight against the angel. Unit Two suffered the worst damage with acid burns from the angel's eye. I was slightly sore and bruised from being landed on twice by my fellow pilots.

We were dismissed by Commander Ikari and sent to the showers to clean up. Once we were cleaned and redressed in our normal clothes we met once again at the elevator although this time it was to return to the Aida residence to see how things were. When we arrived Sana sat in a dazed state hugging Mina in her lap. Aida-san sat in the kitchen looking exhausted. Ikari-kun and I sent him to bed and the three of us took over taking care of Sana and Mina.

There wasn't much we could do over all. Mostly just listen to Sana when she wanted to talk and make sure she took care of herself. Mina needed us to keep her company and play with her. This was easy to do for a team of three although not so for one person. By nightfall we were tired and ready to go home.

It became my job to wake Aida-san up so that he could return to being in charge. I found him lying on top of his bed on his stomach snoring loudly. His glasses were resting on a near by table. I gently shook his shoulder and he stirred awake. He groaned and rubbed his eyes sleepily. "Ayanami . . ." He mumbled.

"We must leave now Aida-san. Will you be untroubled by our absence?"

A small smile crossed his lips. "I'll be fine Ayanami. Thank you for all your help."

I nodded and smiled back. Aida-san went out to the living room with me to say his good byes to Ikari-kun and Pilot Sohryu. Once this was done I collected my things and made my way back to my apartment.

I placed my tiger at the foot of my bed. Then I undressed and went to bed.

That night I was taunted by voices and eerie shadows that flitted around me. They seemed to hate and curse me with every word they uttered. Every breath was laced with pure hatred. Were these the angels? I could only imagine the answer to be yes. I could not understand why they hated me so much. Was it because I was like them? Was it because I was a hybrid not a true member of either side? I did not understand. The angels were not telling.

The next morning I awoke early because I had orders to report to NERV instead of school. I showered and dressed then left for NERV HQ. When I arrived I met Commander Ikari and Doctor Akagi in the normal place where we always met. We went down deep into NERV to the room where work with the dummy plug was done. This was also the room where the cones where kept. Normally the lights in the LCL tank where the clones floated were dimmed. Today however, the lights were on at full power, allowing me a perfect and painful view of each and everyone of the clones.

Commander Ikari ordered me to strip and enter the tube. I did so with the effectual efficiency as one who has done something numerous times. I stood in the tube and waited for the LCL to enter. Minutes later it was over and I was floating effortlessly waiting for orders. "Rei, today I want you to speak to your sisters. Try to give them a command."

This was a new one. I had always felt the clone's presence but I had never been asked to come in contact with them. To do so was my order though, so I must. I closed my eyes and focused on the other clones around me. With almost effortless ease they responded to me and opened their eyes. A voice muffled and distant came out of the darkness. "Good, very good. Now make them move." I heard Commander Ikari's voice say.

I concentrated again and I felt the clones begin to move. Slowly their movement picked up pace until they were dancing around me. It was a strange and terrible feeling, yet I knew it was all my doing. I stopped, letting them fall limp again. They were no better then rag dolls I realized. I was horrified at the ease with which I had controlled them. It had been almost nothing. It led me to wonder if I was that weak as well. "She is strong with Lilith's power. She could do it if being alive too long did not compromise her." Commander Ikari said.

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So that's all folks! What did you think? Review and tell me! 

Finally for those who care a teaser for Chapter 9:

_Shinji looked around trying to find out where Rei was. He couldn't see her anywhere; everything around him was black. He searched around him in vain. Rei was nowhere to be found. Out of the darkness another voice was heard. "Forget about the girl if you know what's good for you. She is a traitor to her kind."_


	13. Traitor

Sorry about that . . . I just realized my comp. hates this chapter for some reason. . . Let's try this again, shall we?

Hello everyone. I've come bringing Chapter 9.

My thanks to Katonus and Death 88 for all their help prereading the last three chapters. I couldn't have done it without them.

One the advice of **94saturn** I shall post the following caution: _**Do not**_ try to finishan entire bottle of Southern Comfort while attempting to read the whole story in one setting. Concider yourself warned.

Now on with the story!

Oh, two more things: _**I don't own Eva**_! Don't forget to R&R, please.

Arigato.

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**Chapter 9: Traitor**

The next two angels appeared in short order. The first had the form of a giant orange blob-like mass. It appeared high over NERV one bright afternoon less then a month after the defeat of the spider like angel. This angel attempted to drop pieces of itself on top of us like living bombs. Ikari-kun, Pilot Sohryu and I were deployed to stop it before it was able to land a direct hit on NERV, which would have been catastrophic. This we did quickly, incurring minor damage to Unit One.

The next angel showed up at what was to be a most inopportune time. All three of us had been in the middle of a special harmonics test that required us to sit in the entry plug with absolutely nothing on. When the angel revealed it's self to be in the computer system and attacked we were ejected to the surface for safety. The three of us waited cold and isolated for almost two hours before NERV showed up to retrieve us. To be rescued required us to climb out of the entry plug and walk a short distance completely exposed.

Unfortunately Aida-san, Suzuhara-san and several other classmates had found out where we were and were waiting for us to leave the entry plugs so they could take pictures. I doubt they knew we were naked but they refused to leave. Pilot Sohryu, who was already upset over the test as it was, refused to leave until she was provided with adequate cover. Ikari-kun sided with her and I had to agree. Even though I felt no shame at allowing NERV personnel seeing me unclothed I did not like the thought of so many people taking my picture while I was so.

In the end we convinced Major Katsuragi to bring our plug suits to us so that we could dress and be clothed before we left the entry plug.

After this we had a relative dry spell where no angel appeared for a long time. Most people at NERV appreciated this time because it allowed them to make repairs and upgrades to better prepare us for the next attack. Doctor Akagi also kept Ikari-kun, Pilot Sohryu and me busy during this time. She had us with in the confines of NERV every spare moment running some test or making us practice our combat skills. I would learn that when put on equal footing with my fellow pilots; I had superior combat skills from years of disciplined practice that outdid the others. It was only my much lower sync ratio that held me back.

As one might imagine, the result of all this testing was that our sync ratios all climbed dramatically. None rose as much however as Ikari-kun's had.

Then the day arrived when Ikari-kun's numbers tied with Pilot Sohryu's and we all knew that tomorrow she would be beaten. The look on her face said all anyone at NERV needed to know about how she felt. Pilot Sohryu was furious. "Well, Wondergirl it looks like NERV doesn't need us girls to fight anymore now they have their invincible Shinji to do all the work." She told me through the com when she found out.

I did not have a reply for her. Unlike Pilot Sohryu I felt no such competition to outdo my fellow Eva Pilots. I was always the farthest behind owing to my rough start and the fact that the core did not accept me as readily as the other Eva's did their children. My main goal had always been to stay strong enough that I could do what was required of me to defeat the angel.

So in this respect I could not understand Pilot Sohryu's anger at this situation. Wouldn't it be better if we had two Eva's with high sync ratios ready for combat? On the other side I was forced to remember Pilot Sohryu's history and her internal drive to be number one. She hated to loose, period.

That afternoon with testing over, Major Katsuragi decided to take us out to eat; to celebrate our success so far and our improving sync ration numbers. A cheap ramen shop was chosen because Major Katsuragi couldn't afford to pay for anything more expensive. We all had a good time however despite Pilot Sohryu's attempts to put a damper on it.

As I was preparing to leave for home, Major Katsuragi stopped me. "Why don't you come back with us tonight Rei? I was going to put on a movie and open up some snacks. You could sleep on the sofa and stay the night. How about it?"

I looked up into the Major's brown eyes to see that she wanted me to come. I glanced over to see that Ikari-kun was also in favor of me spending the night. Pilot Sohryu however gave me a look that said she wanted me nowhere near her presence. Judging by the look on her face she was going to take out her anger over Ikari-kun's success on him this evening. I did not want her to hurt him for that. "Hai."

Major Katsuragi and Ikari-kun smiled while behind them Pilot Sohryu gave me a dangerous smile. I responded to her with a blank face and the four of us left for the Katsuragi apartment.

The walk back was largely quiet although the Major did manage to create some conversation along the way. Ikari-kun walked next to me the whole way. This was the closest we had been in an informal situation since the evening at the hospital. He seemed happy and this along with his nearness to me left me feeling good as well. As we walked he reached out and linked our arms. He shot a shy smile at me and I found a small one on my lips as well.

Pilot Sohryu was angered by this and butted in wrapping her arm around his other one. She covered her pain with a pleasant smile. "Can I walk with you too, Shinji?"

Ikari-kun nodded and the three of us walked back to the Katsuragi residence like this. The Major seemed to think our closeness was a good thing but I could tell this was another fight between Pilot Sohryu and myself.

When we arrived at the Katsuragi residence Pilot Sohryu went to shower and change while the rest of us got comfortable on the sofa. The major made popcorn and opened up several bags of assorted snacks for us to eat. Ikari-kun and I were eating chips on the sofa when Pilot Sohryu appeared, dressed in nothing but a bath towel and still dripping with water. She sat down on the sofa squeezing herself between Ikari-kun and I. She threw one arm around Ikari-kun's shoulder while grabbing a drink off the table with the other. "Miss me Shinji?" She asked.

Ikari-kun tried to back up as she leaned closer but found himself with nowhere to go. He stood quickly and excused himself saying he had to go the bathroom. Pilot Sohryu sat back sighing with unhappiness. It seemed she had forgotten that I was there. "Why? Why does everyone hate me so much?" She moaned.

I sat as still and silent as possible so as not to be noticed. If she saw me, I knew I would be lashed out at and moving was a quick way to be seen. Still staying where I was left me in an awkward position. Hopefully if I held still I would remain invisible.

Pilot Sohryu placed her head in her hands. "I'm not such a horrible person am I?" She whispered.

"No I do not think you are." I replied on impulse.

I regretted those words the minute I had said them. Surly I had Pilot Sohryu's attention on my now. Pilot Sohryu raised her head sharply glaring straight at me her face full of shocked horror. She seemed ashamed that I had seen her like that. She leaned over her focus fixed on me. "What do you know, Wondergirl?" She demanded. "I bet no one's ever rejected you."

"You are not the only one with pain. Even I, who you accuse of having a good life is not free of it."

"You just trying to suck up and make me feel better." Pilot Sohryu snapped.

She closed her eyes and turned her back to me with crossed arms. There was nothing more I could do so I sat back and focused on the TV screen. Ikari-kun returned and sat down beside me. "I'm glad you're here Rei," he said quietly to me.

"So am I."

Major Katsuragi came in with the movie and turned it on before joining us on the sofa. I think she could sense the tension between Pilot Sohryu and me because she gave us a strange look. We worked together and kept the semblance of peace during the movie. By the time it was over it was late and we were all ready for bed. Pilot Sohryu dragged Ikari-kun off to bed and the Major followed not far behind. I was left with a couple blankets and some pillows on the sofa.

I determined to make myself comfortable. I lay my head on one of the pillows and pulled the blanket over me. I did not sleep well as a general rule because my dreams were plagued with nightmares and strange visions, so I intended to watch the television until I had bored myself to sleep. As I sat there my lids became heavy so I rested my eyes for a moment, I was asleep before I realized it.

I was awakened to the sound of someone crying out. I raised my head from the pillows and looked around taking in my dark surroundings. The television played noisily in the background. I reached for the remote so I could turn the volume down. With the volume reduced I could make out the source of the sound, Pilot Sohryu's room. Slowly I rose to my feet and made my way to her room, opening the door quietly. Inside Pilot Sohryu seemed to be in the throws of a nightmare. She tossed and turned violently calling out loudly into the dark.

I began to go in to comfort her but then I realized that she would not want me there and I would be yelled at again. I glanced towards Ikari-kun to see if he had heard. The door was closed so I assumed he had not. I turned around debating what to do. Behind me I heard a door snap shut and I turned to see Ikari-kun standing in the hallway. "What's wrong?" He asked in a whisper.

"Pilot Sohryu is having a nightmare." I explained softly.

Ikari-kun nodded. Without a word we both ventured quietly into Pilot Sohryu's room. With more bravery then was imaginable Ikari-kun leaned over and held Pilot Sohryu's shoulders down, saying her name, "Asuka. Asuka wake up."

I meanwhile found myself compelled to stroke her hair soothingly. After a minute Pilot Sohryu began to stir and we held our breaths. "Mommy . . ." she murmured.

The next instant Pilot Sohryu's eyes snapped open and she stared angrily at us with her two icy blue eyes. Ikari-kun took a step back but I remained rooted where I was. "Get out." She hissed, glaring at both of us.

"We're sorry Asuka. We only wanted to help." Ikari-kun muttered sounding apologetic.

"Do I look like I want your help?" Pilot Sohryu growled.

"Everyone needs help once in a while." Ikari-kun pointed out.

Pilot Sohryu grabbed him by the collar forcing her face close to his. "Well, I don't. Got that? I don't need anybody."

I stepped in placing my hand firmly on Pilot Sohryu's shoulder. "I believe he got the message, Pilot Sohryu. And there is no shame in receiving aid from another."

Pilot Sohryu turned on me with hatred in her eyes. "What do you know?" She shouted.

Pilot Sohryu's fist came back and the next thing I knew I was sitting on the floor with blood coming from my nose. Ikari-kun pulled me from the room and steered me to the bathroom sink. He made me bend over it as the blood continued to pore while he went to find something to stop the blood flow with. Ikari-kun returned; handed me some cotton balls and I sat on the floor holding them over my nose.

I could feel my nose and part of my cheek beginning to swell but nothing appeared to be broken. After a time the blood stopped and I was ready to fall over asleep. Ikari-kun helped me up off the floor and back to the living room sofa. I curled up making myself comfortable. Ikari-kun left and I was all alone. As I lay there in the dark it occurred to me that Major Katsuragi had remained asleep though the entire incident. She was probably too drunk to notice I realized when I remembered how many beers she had drank the previous evening.

I heard noise as Ikari-kun returned. "Rei can I sleep with you? Asuka's in my room now since you got blood on her sheets."

There wasn't nearly enough room for the two of us but I didn't mind Ikari-kun's presence. I pressed myself against the back of the sofa and Ikari-kun lay down beside me. We spent several minutes trying to get settled so that we might sleep. Pressed between the back of the sofa and Ikari-kun I could find no spot for my arm so I placed it on top of Ikari-kun. He placed his hand on mine curled his larger fingers around my smaller ones. "Your hands are so soft and delicate." He said.

That is the last thing I remember before I drifted sleep.

I was awakened by noise in the kitchen. I blinked sleepily and raise my head from under the blanket and between the pillows. After my eyes had adjusted to the bight morning light I saw Ikari-kun in the kitchen. I could smell something cooking but I could not imminently place it. "Good morning Ikari-kun."

Ikari-kun turned to face me with a smile on his face. "Good morning, Rei. Did you sleep well?"

I nodded and sat up slowly. I felt unusually well rested for having spent the night on an unfamiliar sofa. I couldn't remember even one nightmare the entire night. I yawned and stretched feeling only minor protest from my body. I started to stand up but Ikari-kun stopped me. "Sit down Ayanami. I can make breakfast."

I obeyed and sat back down on the sofa, wrapping the blanket around my shoulders to keep the cold out. The TV was still on but I didn't know the show. I found the remote buried between the cushions at the foot of the sofa. "What do you want to see Ikari-kun?" I asked him.

"You chose something Rei." He suggested.

"I am not familiar with television stations or programs."

It was true. I had watched only a small amount of television during my life and it was never with any regularity. So I had no idea what types of shows aired.

Ikari-kun suggested a channel and I switched the station. I watched the screen as the cartoon characters moved across it. Although I did not understand the series I did find some enjoyment in seeing how events unfolded. During the commercial break I asked Ikari-kun about the show. "It's called Cowboy Bebop." Ikari-kun explained. "It follows the adventures of Bounty Hunters or Space Cowboys as they catch the bad guys."

He went on to give me some information about this television series. I understood some of it but I knew there was much I was missing. I sat back and watched the show some more as Ikari-kun continued to cook. "Rei why don't you move to somewhere less remote? No offense, but the place where you live is a dump."

I looked over at Ikari-kun, taken back by his question. I had never considered living anywhere but the apartment where the Commander had assigned me all those years ago. Besides I had no problem with the place where I lived. "I never thought it was a problem."

"Well, I can't complain if you're happy."

"You are displeased by my choice."

Ikari-kun looked like he was about to say something but then stopped. He shook his head and went back to what he was doing in the kitchen. I stood up and went into the kitchen so that I was standing beside him. For a long time I stood there silently while Ikari-kun continued to cut vegetables for the soup he was making. "I worry about you okay? You've been in so much pain. It's not fair to you. You've never done wrong to anyone."

"Being an Eva Pilot is my job. Any pain I am in as a result is necessary as part of what I do."

Ikari-kun frowned. "Rei, you should never just accept pain for that reason. You . . . you need to take care of yourself."

I starred back at him trying to understand what he had said. He was asking me to give up my bond to Eva and the Commander. I didn't know if I could do that. There had never been anything else for me but to pilot and serve the Commander's wishes. What would happen to me if I lost that? I feared that I would simply disappear and cease to be if that happened.

There was also the problem with my own sins for indeed I did carry such burdens. Although it was only a faint memory I knew I had killed some one, a woman named Naoko Akagi. "I can not do that."

"Why not? What's so hard about breaking free?"

"I am bound to Eva. I have nothing else."

Ikari-kun looked like he wanted to shake something into my skull. For an instant I felt like small simple child before him. Then Ikari-kun smiled again and the feeling was gone. "Promise me you'll think about it?"

I nodded and picked up some noodles off the counter and put them in the pot. I watched with interest as they moved about in the broth. There was a spoon on the counter that I used to stir the pot with while Ikari-kun cut more vegetables to add to the mixture.

Once the soup was ready we sat down to eat. We were still there when Major Katsuragi showed up. She blinked sleepily as if something about us didn't seem right to her. She shook her head and sat down at the table with us, beer in hand. "Misato it's not even 9:00 yet. Must you?"

Major Katsuragi smiled and opened her can of beer. She lifted it to her lips and took a hug gulp. "Ahhhhhhhh, Nothing wakes you up faster in the morning!" She exclaimed.

Ikari-kun and I looked at each other giggling softly. Somehow this seemed extremely comical at this hour in the morning. I was about to say something when the sirens went off. We all looked at each other. Major Katsuragi rose to her feet and finished off her beer with a large gulp. "Get Asuka up while I change." She instructed us.

Major Katsuragi disappeared in her bedroom and the door slammed firmly shut behind her. Ikari-kun and I looked at each other. Pilot Sohryu was notorious as a deep sleeper and hard to rouse before late morning. Still with a new enemy on the loose she must be awakened. Ikari-kun and I headed into Ikari-kun's room. She lay sprawled on his bed snoring softly. Ikari-kun leaned over and shook her gently. "Asuka get up."

After several moments Pilot Sohryu's eyes snapped open and she starred up at us in annoyance. "What?" She grumbled unhappily.

"The next angel appeared. We need to get to Nerv." Ikari-kun explained.

Pilot Sohryu rolled over with an audible groan. Ikari-kun tugged on her arm and she slowly climbed from the bed. The three of us quickly changed out of our pajamas into street clothes. The Major emerged from her room a few minutes later dressed in her uniform and ready to go. I was impressed by the changes she had made. Her hair was brushed and she looked as if she had been ready all along. Of course I knew that not ten minutes ago she had been half asleep in disheveled pajamas. That's what made her appearance all the more impressive.

We all climbed into the back of Major Katsuragi's car and were on our way to Nerv. The ride there was dead silent because we were all focused on our roles. When we arrived Doctor Akagi was waiting for us. "I'm impressed Misato. You're here in record time and before 9:15."

Major Katsuragi made a face and began to force us along the way inside. "Just show me this angel."

Pilot Sohryu, Ikari-kun and I were hurried off to change into our plug suits. Once we were dressed and ready, we met by the elevator to ride up to our Evas. The plan was explained to us and we were told to go get into our Evas. Then we were launched to the surface.

The plan was to observe the angel and figure out its plan and powers before trying open attack. I had been placed at the sniper position behind one of the long-range rifles. Ikari-kun was supposed to go in nearer to the enemy's location with a closer range weapon. Pilot Sohryu took the third position on the other side of the angel. Pilot Sohryu and I were getting into position when Ikari-kun decided to move in ahead of schedule. Both Pilot Sohryu and I attempted to protest this action but to no avail. According to him going into danger was a man's job.

I felt an uneasy knot in my stomach as I watched Ikari-kun move in closer to the angel. Something inside me screamed, this is not right. There is danger. By a force of will I managed to quell this fear and focus on getting a comfortable grip on the rifle before me.

I felt my finger tighten on the trigger, as the black shadow appeared under Unit One's feet. Almost instantly her feet began to sink. The angel was trying to swallow Ikari-kun, I realized with horror. I released the sniper rifle and took off running before Ikari-kun began to scream for help. I raced through the streets of Tokyo III at extreme speed only an Eva could accomplish. I reached the scene going too fast and had to stop abruptly to avoid being sucked in as well.

"Rei, Help me!" Ikari-kun screamed.

Without hesitation I reached out my hand towards Eva Unit One and she grabbed them. I braced myself and pulled with all my strength trying to get him out of the black void. Eva Unit One however refused to budge no matter how hard I pulled. I refused to give up though; I couldn't lose Ikari-kun. "Rei, don't let go." he pleaded.

"I will not." I promised.

I looked over at my map of Tokyo III. Where was Pilot Sohryu? According to the map she was still several blocks away trying to get to us. It was up to me then and I wasn't going to fail him.

For several minutes the void and I fought over Ikari-kun and Eva Unit One, both of us too stubborn to lose ground, also unable to gain any. My gripped loosed and Ikari-kun's hand slipped out of mine. I tried to grab it again but lost my balance, falling in. Voices were screaming at me loudly over the communication system but I was too busy trying to force Unit Zero to move. It was a pointless struggle the black void held me tight in its grasp.

It occurred to me that this wasn't supposed to happen and I had messed with the Commander's plan. I wonder what this action of mine would lead to. Somehow I did not like where the possibilities led.

As I sank even deeper into the void, I looked around taking in the world around me. I found myself in an area that was unlike anyplace I had ever seen. It was cold, dark and empty. I couldn't move my Eva; everything was heavy and slow like Unit Zero had been weighted down. I attempted to search for Ikari-kun or the angel but I found no evidence that anyone was here anywhere. "You're a fool if you think that my cousin." Said a voice.

I looked around but I saw no one. "Who are you?" I asked the darkness.

"Don't be so surprised, Zero. You know exactly who I am."

"Leliel?"

"Very good. You've not as stupid as I thought."

"What do you want?"

"What do I want? You know very well what we're after. You're precious Commander hides it in his fortress."

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"I think you do and you'll tell me were he keeps it whether you like it or not."

"Never!" I declared.

It was too late though. The next thing I knew Leliel was trying to force sync with me. "Get out!" I screamed.

But there was nothing I could do; I was powerless to stop her assault. I could feel the tendrils of her soul working their way between my own. My only option was to burry my self deep within my core and hope she couldn't catch me.

Shinji watched hopefully his radar screen as it scanned the area. He knew Ayanami was stuck here somewhere and he intended to find her.

Ping! Ping!

The radar had found something; it was Unit Zero. She was a long distance away behind him to his left. As fast as he could (which wasn't very) he made his way towards her. As he got closer the signal got stronger and stronger. Eagerly he scanned the horizon for Unit Zero's outline. He should be able to see her any minute now. Slowly a shape came out of the darkness. At first he thought his eyes where fooling him because in front of him was a horrible deformed shape of a terrible monster. The thing looked at him; a single red cycloptic eye glowed in the center of its face. It seized its head and turned away roaring in agony. This was no monster; Shinji realized with shock, this was Unit Zero.

She was in pain but Shinji could see nothing touching her. When he tried to open a link to her he was greeted with the sight of Ayanami's face. Her eyes were rolled back in her head so far that he could only see the very edge of her red irises and her face was contorted as badly as her Eva appeared. Rei screamed so loud that he thought her lungs would be ripped to pieces. Then she collapsed in her seat in a dead faint. Shinji couldn't take it, looking at her pale pained features was too hard. He looked away and shut the link off. With out knowing what was hurting her he could do little but try to comfort her.

So he held her in his arms trying to keep her safe and comfortable. Rei however made no further sound or cry of pain; she remained in a silent but insensible state. Shinji couldn't decide whether that was a good thing or not. If she would scream, moan or make a sound he know she was okay but when she remained like this he didn't know if she was in pain or not.

Shinji soon discovered a second problem. Rei had about five minutes less of life support then he did. That meant that he had five minuets less to get them out of here. Problem was he had no idea how to do that because he was cut off from everyone. Ayanami . . . Wait! Maybe she might still have a working connection to the others.

Shinji found the connecting cable in Unit Zero's back. Gently he inserted it into Unit One and waited for the connections to establish. Shinji picked up the phone and placed it to his ears. There was a dial tone. Shinji smiled; he might just get through. Eagerly he punched in the number of the main Nerv phone then placed the headset to his ear. It rang about five times before someone picked up. "crackle Reishuuuuuurrr pop shuuuuuurrrrrrrrrr"

"Misato!" Shinji exclaimed as he recognized the voice "It's me Shinji!"

"Suuuuuuuu Crackle Keeerrrrrr Hold SHHHHHHUUUUUUU"

For about the next two minutes all Shinji could hear where clicks and pops then Misato's voice came through, "Shinji can you hear me?"

"Loud and clear." He replied.

"Good! Sorry about that. We had to switch you over to a better connection. So tell me, what's going on? How did you get in Unit Zero?"

"I'm not. I've linked Unit One to Unit Zero. Ayanami's been attacked. She's been quiet for a while now. Since my phone's dead I linked to hers with the connecting cable so I could use it."

"I see. Thank goodness. So how is she doing now?"

"She seems fine but she's out cold."

"That's good to hear. So what kind of shape are you in? Are you doing okay?"

"I'm fine but Misato we only have 10 hours and 25 minutes until Ayanami runs out of power and 10 hours and 20 minutes until I'm out."

"Zero Hundred, I know. That's Asuka's fault. She tried to pull you both out but she pulled out your power cables instead. Ayanami's phone cable is still attached though."

"Misato?"

"Yes?"

"Promise me you'll get us out of there before then. I don't want to die or lose Ayanami."

"Don't worry I'll get right on it. You'll be back here before time out. Promise."

"Thank-you."

"No problem, Shinji. You just hang in there and keep an eye on Rei for me, kay?"

"Sure."

"Shinji, Ritsuko wants to ask you some questions about Rei's condition. I'm turning it over to her now."

"Bye Misato!"

"Chao!"

"Shinji listen carefully. I need you to do several things for me." Ritsuko said.

"Okay."

"Start by activating the pilot monitoring screen for Rei."

Shinji did as he was told. "Now tell me what her skin feels like."

Shinji read the skin temperature readout. It amounted to that Rei was cold and clammy. Then Ritsuko asked for her temperature (normal), blood pressure (slightly elevated), the way her eyes looked (the pupils where narrow), brain wave pattern (slow but normal for someone who was unconscious), respiration (slow but regular) and several other pieces of information. Shinji told her everything she asked for no matter how mundane it seemed to him. I took forever from Shinji's perspective and he was glad when she was finally done.

After that Shinji was instructed to remain in Eva Unit one until further orders and the phone went dead. He leaned back in his seat and closed his eyes. He had no idea how long it would be until he'd hear anything from the topside and he could really use some sleep about now.

From somewhere in the darkness a voice called out to Shinji. A first it came out like a garbled disjoined sounds. Piece by piece he was able to make out the painful plea. "Help me Ikari-kun!" Rei screamed.

Shinji looked around trying to find out where Rei was. He couldn't see her anywhere; everything around him was black. He searched around him in vain. Rei was nowhere to be found. Out of the darkness another voice was heard. "Forget about the girl if you know what's good for you. She is a traitor to her kind."

"What?" Shinji asked.

He didn't understand what the voice meant. Rei was a traitor to the human race? That was impossible. Rei was an Eva Pilot and had been hurt numerous times since her assignment to Unit Zero. How could Rei of all people be a traitor?

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Will Rei and Shinji make if free of Leliel's grasp alive? You'll have to read chapter 10 to find out!

And finally, a teaser:

_Misato's eyes widened as she realized what Ritsuko's words meant. If Rei couldn't pilot . . . "You intend her to take Rei's place!" She exclaimed in horror. _

_ "Correct." Commander Ikari said._

_ "The irony is that she's not much better then the one she's replacing." _

Grins to self. Oh yes, I am evil . . .


	14. War in Silence

Whahahahahahaha! Sesshy's Girl 00 is back with another chapter! Is't it amazing? Yes, yes it is. . .

Well, two of my three prereaders haven't returned this to me but thankfully Katonus got back to me! Thanks about for your advice and help! Since my birthday is coming up at the end of this week I decided it was time I posted this so . . . here it is . . .

In the last chapter: Rei and Shinji were trapped in the grasp of the latest angel Leliel. What happens next? How will they get out? Read on to find out!

Ask yourself this: Would Hideki Anno or Gainax publish something on this site under such a nickname?

Last of all: Read, Enjoy and Review!

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**Chapter 10: War in Silence**

Pure and total darkness. Complete and deafening silence. That's all Asuka could see or hear. Suddenly a scream pierced the darkness; filled with the pain and agony of the one who cried out. It was the kind of torment for which death was the kindest release.

Asuka found herself suddenly awake and in her room. She was drenched in cold sweat and her heart raced loudly in her chest. Despite the end of the nightmare the scream continued to ring in her ears. Asuka shuttered and pulled the covers tighter around her shoulders. After several minutes Asuka managed to calm her heartbeat and her fears. She sat up and looked out her bedroom window. Outside the last burst of color flared across the sky as the sun slipped below the horizon. At the very edge of her sight Asuka could see the moon hanging low and luminous in the fading purple blue sky.

With a sigh Asuka pushed back the covers and climbed from her bed. It was time she eat and return to NERV. The rescue operation for Shinji and Wondergirl was due to begin soon and Dr. Akagi would be mad if she was late. Asuka scowled at the thought of helping rescue her fellow pilots.

Her revulsion was less at the thought of rescuing Shinji, in fact she wanted him back to keep her company and supply his cooking; it was lonely without him. Asuka's dislike came from the thought of the red-eyed first child. She couldn't stand Rei's red eyes and silence. She seemed to be trying to look through Asuka's exterior to the pain underneath, judging her with her quiet counsel. Rei also reminded her of the doll Asuka hated with every fiber of her being, the doll that had killed her mother.

If Asuka had her way the first child would be gone or have a complete personality remake along with a physical make over. Maybe then Rei's presence wouldn't get under her skin.

However that was not possible. Shinji seemed inexplicably connected to Rei in a way Asuka couldn't understand. The connection was odd but kept one always linked to the other. Asuka wished she could break or at least understand what kept them so connected. Maybe then things would make sense. Was it because they fought the first couple angels together or was the bond deeper?

"Damn you Wondergirl." Asuka hissed vehemently as she opened the fridge.

Once again Rei had shown Asuka up. The First Child had been in position to save Shinji from the black void. Even though she had failed it was more then Asuka could say. The Second Child had only been able to pull on the power cables, which resulted in the power being cut. Asuka bit her lip to keep from crying as the thought rang through her head, "You could do nothing."

Asuka blinked suddenly remembering where she had first seen Rei's eyes. It had been on a day far different then this one. Asuka had been hiding so she could cry before her fist activation experiment with Unit Two. Rei had found her curled up in a deserted stair well and helped her to the changing rooms, then into her red plug suit for the first time.

Asuka clenched her teeth with the frustrating realization that Rei had helped her once again. How she hated her!

--

Hours later Shinji was awakened from a dead sleep to the sound of the communication system beeping loudly. He groaned and closed his eyes against the disturbance not wanting to do anything but sleep more. After it proved to be persistent Shinji sat up and answered it. Ritsuko's unsmiling face greeted him from the other side.

"Shinji I have come to explain the operation to you. We are going to have our planes drop almost every N2 mine we have in our possession on the angel at Zero Hundred. Asuka and Unit Two will protect the city and contain the blast."

She paused and Shinji had the feeling he hadn't heard the worse yet. "Tell me." Shinji stated fiercely between clenched teeth.

"Unfortunately the blast will most likely kill both you and the First Child along with the angel."

"No. You're not going to drop those bombs on us." Shinji hissed low and dangerous.

"I'm afraid that's not you decision to make." Ritsuko stated.

Shinji slammed his clenched fist against the seat's armrests in anger. "No dammit. You're not listening to me. I'm not going to let you guys drop bombs on us!"

"Shinji we . . ." Ritsuko tried to explain but Shinji cut her off.

"NO! I made Ayanami a promise. I promised her the day we fought that square shaped angel that no matter what we would both get out of this together. I'm not going to let her die. There will be no bombs!"

Shinji remembered that smile. It was a small smile, yet it remained the most beautiful ting he'd ever seen in his life. He would do anything to protect that girl from death so that she might live to see the end. Shinji owed her as much for all the times she had saved his butt.

Shinji was breathing deep with great anger as the rage flowed through him. How dare they think this outrageous plan was acceptable? Couldn't they come up with anything else to get Rei and him out of here?

Ritsuko said nothing after Shinji's angry response for a long time. For once she had no idea what to say to the furious young man who was staring back at her. Slowly in a very gentle voice she said, "I'm sorry Shinji. We have no other options. If we don't destroy the angel it will attack NERV and end the world."

Shinji had no response for that. He continued to glare back with simmering deep resentment. The link was cut off before he could find the words to explain how he felt to the Doctor. Clearly his father was behind this. Only he could come up with a plan so cold.

Shinji stared out into the darkness wondering if he could see something, anything to give him a sign of hope. There was nothing. Only the continually silent form of Unit Zero resting in the grasp of Unit One. Beyond that everything else was so impossibly dark, Shinji thought that all light and warmth must be gone.

Shinji glanced over at the counter for Unit One's activation time to see he had only four hours and thirty minutes before time ran out. He almost allowed himself to grind his teeth in frustration. Surly there had to be a way to get him and Ayanami out of here before then. Most importantly prior to when the bombs were dropped on them.

In an effort to ease his boredom Shinji tried to contact Rei in the faint hope she had awakened and would be able to talk. That hope quickly died when he saw that she was still unconscious. Shinji wondered what had happened to her. Did the angel attack her body or mind? That seemed to be the only explanation but Shinji still hadn't seen anything touch her or Unit Zero. So the source of what had hurt Rei continued to baffle him.

Shinji sighed and closed the link. He could gain nothing by expending the excess energy looking upon Rei's unconscious face. Best save it for coming up with a plan to get them out of there.

Still he could come up with nothing at all, absolutely zilch.

_Do you want to save her, my son?_

Shinji closed his eyes convinced the voice was his imagination and a sign of his sanity slowly slipping away.

_Do you want to save her?_

This time the voice had been stronger and more insistent. There was no doubt that it was real and not a figment of insanity. Shinji opened his eyes and looked around. He saw no one in the entry plug. On a whim he looked to see if the communication window to Unit Zero was still open. It was not. 'This is odd.' Shinji thought 'whose voice do I keep hearing?'

_Do you wish to save Rei?_ The voice repeated.

Shinji couldn't see anyone but he could almost feel a warm familiar presence wrapping itself around him. It reminded him of, of his mother.

**Mother? **

_Yes, Shinji?_

**Can I really save her? I mean do I have the power?**

_Yes, you do my son, as long as you believe in yourself._

**But how? I don't know what to do!**

_I will show you._

Before Shinji could ask what his mother meant he was distracted by a horrendous noise. He looked up to see that Unit Zero was moving again and appeared to be in pain. She roared loudly and batted Unit One away. She gripped her head and thrashed about in pure agony. Shinji starred in surprise and horror, unsure of what to do.

Unit Zero continued to roar madly, putting more distance between itself and Unit One. Shinji struggled to remain close so as not to lose sight of the other Eva. After almost thirty minutes the pursuit began to slow down as Unit Zero came to a stop not far away. Shinji reached her side to see the Eva still writhing although not as badly as she had been.

Shinji approached warily not sure what the violent bio-mecha would do next. For all he knew it would lash out at him next out of blind rage and pain. When he reached her Unit Zero had ceased to struggle but the single red eye still glowed brilliantly in the dark. Shinji gently put Unit One's arm around Unit Zero and pulled the Eva close. "It's . . ."

Shinji stopped abruptly when he felt Unit Zero deployed her A.T. Field. The blue mecha used it to attack the angel that surrounded them. Shinji felt everything around them begin to shake violently and crumble. Madness began to over take Shinji as Unit One joined Unit Zero on her rampage against the angel. Both mechas roared viciously and the world around them fell away.

--

Leliel had left me an unexpected opening. Logically I knew I had to take it or risk her gaining even more control over me. My only hope was that I could activate Unit Zero's berserker and unleash it on the angel before Leliel found out and stopped me.

With knowledge of what I had to do in hand I made my way cautiously into the depths of Unit Zero's core. Once there however, I had no idea what to do. How was I supposed to trigger berserker mode in Unit Zero? After a minute of thinking an idea came to me. I closed my eyes and concentrated my thoughts on one single phrase, "I must save Ikari-kun."

I repeated it over and over letting it possess the dark recesses of the core. That phrase took hold until it was all consuming for the blue unit and Unit Zero went berserker.

My work done I slipped away quietly Leliel's voice haunting my retreat to safety.

--

The NERV personnel along with the Second Child were setting up around the black void in the center of Tokyo III, preparing for the operation, which was to begin at midnight. Someone screamed as the ground began to vibrate and the shadow's edges wavered. The trembling became stronger and the zebra orb that hung in the sky turned black.

A crack appeared down the center and crimson blood came forth through the opening. More fractures began to appear and then without warning the whole thing broke open revealing the blood covered Units Zero and One. Both Evas landed on the ground where the black void was shattering it into a million pieces. Unit One roared loudly as if to proclaim its return but Unit Zero fell to the ground.

NERV personnel swarmed the Eva's and quickly pried open the entry plugs. Inside they found the children unconscious in their seats. Shinji and Rei were placed on stretchers and carried them back to the medical wing. Both were placed under high security as Dr. Ritsuko Akagi poked and prodded with various tests to see what kind of condition they were in.

--

Shinji came to hours later to find himself lying on his back, staring at the ceiling in the NERV medical wing. Due to the massive headache he had it took him almost twenty minutes to remember all that had happened. Rei and him had been trapped inside the black void of the latest angel. Somehow both Eva Units went berserker and managed to break out. After that he had passed out and had woken up where he was.

Shinji sat up and looked around hoping to see sight of his fellow Eva pilot. There was no sign of Rei Ayanami or any other person with in the confines in the room. Shinji was all alone. Shinji groaned and lay back down on the bed, massaging his temples. His head was going to kill him.

_Traitor._ Shinji stopped wondering where he'd heard that word before. After a long moment he remembered that the angel had called Rei that word. A traitor to her kind, the angel had said. It didn't make any more sense to him now then before. Rei hadn't betrayed humanity. They only way he could remotely imagine it making sense were if Rei was an angel or had angel blood in her veins. Shinji quickly banished the thought from his mind labeling it a sign that his mind still wasn't all there. What had he been thinking, the angels were monsters that came to hurt and kill, Rei was nothing like them. She was there exact opposite. Whatever Rei was it was not one of the angels.

By the next evening the Shinji was released from the hospital and Misato took him home. His headache had subsided leaving him spent and utterly exhausted. So he climbed into bed as soon as he arrived home.

--

Things returned to normal by the end of the week except for one thing, the first child was missing. Well, not exactly. It wasn't a secret that she was in one of the Nerv hospital rooms, but no one had seen her since she was carried inside after the Eva battle except Doctor Akagi and Commander Ikari. Most people assumed she had received some more serious injuries and need time to recover. However being denied visitors was something that had ever happened, despite the fact Rei usually didn't have any.

Meanwhile Section Two was unusually busy with its post battle info control not only for civilians but with the Japanese Government and SEELE as well. The Commander's were at the head of this dealing mostly with the discontent demanding SEELE themselves.

--

The next afternoon found NERV's head scientist deep with in the bowls of NERV running tests on a young girl in a tube.

Ritsuko turned the scanner off and reached for the phone. "Commander Ikari."

"Yes, Doctor, What is Rei's condition?"

Ritsuko took a deep breath and explained, "She's stable but I'm afraid it may take a while before we can bring her out of a coma."

Gendo growled angrily. "How long are we talking _Doctor_?" He demanded putting special emphasis on the final word.

Ritsuko chose her words carefully before opening her mouth. Making Gendo angrier was not something she wanted to do. "It will take several months to a year or more at the least." Ritsuko replied.

"Really. You should know already that this is unacceptable Doctor. Make preparations to awaken another one."

"But what about a soul? You know we've never been able to have two alive at once before."

"You will use program number 11T8 to transfer the soul to the new Rei once the body is ready, then we will terminate the second."

"Isn't all of this against the plan? I mean the third was not supposed to be awakened until several months from now."

"We will worry about that later. Right now that is an irrelevant matter. I'll be down in two hours for the procedure. Be ready."

It was an order that was not to be violated. "Yes Commander."

There was a long pause and then Ritsuko spoke again. "Um, Sir?"

"Yes. Doctor Akagi."

"What does this mean for your plan?"

"Unknown. However the path events have taken most likely end is failure for both mine and Seele's plan." He replied.

"Failure, sir?" Ritsuko stammered.

Gendo had never, until this day, spoken the word failure and the ramifications scared her. Gendo's plan not seceding was not an option. Yet Ritsuko couldn't get the image of Rei smiling out of her mind. Yes, Rei had been smiling, smiling when they pulled her from the entry plug. It was such a simple gesture but it said so much. Ritsuko looked over at the albino girl and half wondered what she thought of Gendo's plan.

"No need to worry; now get going."

"Yes. Sir."

Ritsuko set the phone down and leaned back in her chair. She didn't like this plan of Gendo's not one bit. Having third alive early was going to cause big problems. She knew that what had happened to Rei was unplanned for and Gendo would have to explain it to SEELE in a way that would cause the least repercussions for Nerv and his plan. There was only one way to do that. Present them with an unaffected Rei Ayanami and show them that although the event was unplanned it would have no ill effects.

Ritsuko brought the unconscious Rei out of the LCL tube and set the tube for the awakening of another. The tube was ready within fifteen minutes and Ritsuko took Rei back up to her hospital room, where she would be under maximum security to make sure no one else found out.

--

Misato was at home working on her report on the latest angel attack when she received a knock at the door. On the other side stood a young man holding a large bouquet of flowers and dressed in the uniform of a flower shop delivery person. He looked vaguely familiar but Misato chose to shake off the feeling "Are you Miss Katsuragi?" He asked.

Misato nodded. "Yes, that's me."

"These flowers are for you." The man said as he held them out towards her.

Misato carried them inside and set the flowers on the table. She then found a flower vase and filled it with water before putting the flowers in it. Only after that was done did Misato allow herself to look at the card. On one side was the typical print card that came with flower shop purchases. It said the flowers came from a man named Ken Naginata. Misato tilted her head in confusion not recognizing the name. She read the card again and it hit her Ken Naginata was one of Kaji's code names, the flowers where from him. Misato flipped the card over to see Kaji's small neat script written there. Misato hesitated a moment but decided to read it anyway.

_Katsuragi, _

_I just found out an interesting piece of intelligence that I thought you should know. The First Child is currently being held under maximum security in the intensive care unit of the hospital. After running a tap on the Commander's phone I learned that she may be in a coma for quite a while and Gendo has ordered Ritsuko to create a second Rei to replace her. They intend to do it tonight. Meet me out side room 566-289 at 22:00. Be prepared to snoop. _

_Your Beloved,_

_Kaji Ryohji_

Misato blinked in confusion. What did Kaji mean by activate another one to replace Rei? Misato decided she'd go meet Kaji and see for herself what this was all about. After all if what she thought Kaji meant was correct the shock waves of this where going to be enormous. This was too big to be ignored. She'd have to let the, your beloved, bit go for now. Darn. She would have loved reaming him out about it tomorrow and she would, assuming she was there.

Misato quickly put the card through the paper shredder she kept next to her computer, destroying the message so no one else could read it.

--

"It's time." Gendo said.

Ritsuko nodded and pressed the final button. Now one of the Rei's would be injected into the tube and the soul and memory insertion into the body would begin. It was a simple process to her by now and she was confident every thing would go smoothly . . .

Error. Error. Flashed on the screen. Ritsuko cursed herself for not double-checking everything as she tried to untangle the problem. It appeared that someone had messed with her program while she was out. As Ritsuko typed furiously at her laptop a Rei was injected into the tube. Most of the lights in the room went off leaving it feeling like a crypt. The only thing illuminated now was Rei and Ritsuko's control consul. Ritsuko blinked in surprise at the sudden silence. "What happened, Doctor Akagi?" Gendo demanded from behind her.

"Someone sabotaged the program that directed the selection process for Rei."

Gendo Ikari frowned deeply, never a good thing. "Well, did we get a workable one anyway?" Gendo inquired in a vaguely threatening voice.

"I think so but since it's been tampered with I can't guarantee my scans."

Ritsuko typed away furiously trying to figure out what had happened. Behind her the machine stared up again. Ritsuko paled. There was only one thing that could mean; soul insertion had begun. There was no way this could be. The soul had not been collected and prepared unless . . .That must be it; the machine was inserting the experimental second soul for Rei. This was not good. The second soul was highly unstable and was a long way from being approved to operate Rei. It had only been a back up incase of extreme emergency.

Ritsuko turned around in time to see Rei cringe as the soul entered her body. Slowly Rei's eyes opened. "Hello Commander Ikari, Doctor Akagi." She said softly.

"Hello Rei. It's time for you to come out now." Gendo said.

"Yes Sir."

Ritsuko pressed the button, which activated the LCL drain for the tube. As the level went down everything looked fine at first but the moment it got past her nose Rei began to gasp. The farther down the LCL went the more violent her reaction became. By the time the LCL was around her ankles Rei was clinging to the wall just to stand and was gasping and coughing violently. Ritsuko realizing something was wrong quickly entered the code for LCL fill. Instantly a flood of LCL rushed into the tube. As the LCL reached the top Rei finally got control of herself again.

"What happened, Doctor?"

Ritsuko cringed at his voice. She turned to her computer and hit a few buttons then watched as data rolled across the screen. When it stopped Ritsuko scrolled back up to the section she was interested in and reread it to make sure she had understood it correctly the first time. When she was done she turned to Gendo and explained, "When Rei was first created there where problems and the first several copies came out defective in one way or another. She is one of them. It appears her lungs where not created correctly and she can't breathe outside the LCL without assistance from a respirator."

Gendo didn't even hesitate to respond, "Terminate her. She is useless to us."

Ritsuko focused on the large red button on the control console. Its purpose was to disintegrate whoever was in the tube, harmlessly and painlessly by breaking their A.T. Field. Ritsuko had hoped she'd never have to use it. Fate was working against her, curse it. As Ritsuko reached over to press the button a gun went off and Misato burst in gun drawn. "Hands off, Ritsuko!" She shouted.

As Misato dashed down the stairs she kept the gun pointed right at Ritsuko and the Commander. Behind her came Kaji, gun also drawn and actually looking deadly serious for once. Both of them were staring more at the glowing tube in the center of the room then the other two occupants however. "Is, is that . . . you know . . ." Misato whispered to Kaji in horror.

Kaji was only able to barely nod in response. "I can't believe they're using Eva technology to clone children now." Misato hissed with an edge of tension and anger added to her voice.

Nothing more was said and the two reached the floor in silence. Both of them kept their guns leveled at Ritsuko and the Commander preventing either from moving. For a long time this remained with neither side saying anything. During this time all four pairs of eyes went to the blue haired girl floating in the tube. Misato and Kaji with a mix of shock, disgust and pity. Ritsuko starred with amazement and Gendo Ikari with a look that said he wanted her gone.

Commander Ikari was the first to speak, his gaze focused on Kaji. "What do you think your doing bringing Major Katsuragi here? Shouldn't you be working on the assignment I gave you in regards to our friends in the government?"

Kaji put on an almost cheesy smile but didn't lower his weapon. "It was a pure accident. I ran into her on her way to see Rei and I got roped into this."

"Really?" The Commander replied sounding unconvinced.

"Honestly I knew nothing about this."

"So, what do you think your doing with Rei?" Misato demanded.

"Treating her injuries."

"Liar! Kaji and I saw her ten minutes ago. So tell me the truth."

It was Ritsuko who spoke up, "Misato, I, I, downplayed Rei's condition. The fact of the matter is she's too mentally unstable and to bring her out of a coma. I doubt that even when she does come out that she'll ever be stable enough to pilot Eva again. This girl here, she's a clone of Rei."

Misato's eyes widened as she realized what Ritsuko's words meant. If Rei couldn't pilot . . . "You intend her to take Rei's place!" She exclaimed in horror.

"Correct." Commander Ikari said.

"The irony is that she's not much better then the one she's replacing."

"I see. You intend to keep her, right."

"Correct we have no other options."

"But what will happen to Rei, I mean both of them? If and when the first one wakes up."

"If the first is able to return to her duty she will if not the second will remain as Unit Zero's pilot. If the first can pilot the second will be hidden away.

"What about SEELE? Won't they ask questions?"

"Mr. Ryohji will handle that."

There was a long silence before NERV's supreme commander spoke again glaring at the other three individuals in the room. "Of course I'm sure you are aware that none of you allowed to breath a word about this to anyone else. Then again if you want to loose your job and die a most horrible death be my guest."

Misato, Ritsuko and Kaji's faces all paled dramatically at Commander Ikari's threat. Gendo grinned slightly knowing he now had control over his subordinates again. None of them were fools; he wouldn't have hired them if they were. All three were quite aware of the punishment for those who went against Gendo Ikari. It never ended well, for the other person.

"We can't call her Rei can we? I mean most people know that the first child is in the medical wing." Misato's weak voice questioned.

"Of course not. She will be known as Reika. Everyone else will be told that she is the First Child's twin sister who's come to replace her because Rei can't Pilot."

"Understood." Everyone said in unison.

"Very good. Mr. Ryohji, Major Katsuragi you are dismissed. "

Misato and Kaji left quietly unable to shake the feeling of dread that had come over them. Ritsuko meanwhile turned back to the keyboard in front of her and began to type at an unusually slow pace. "Is she fit to leave Doctor?" Gendo Ikari demanded.

"Yes, as soon as I can find a oxygen tank and a mask for her to use."

Gendo nodded and left. It was late, he decided and it was time he went to bed.

* * *

In Chapter 11: Misato has something to say to her long time friend that Ritsuko doesn't want to hear. Meanwhile Reika meets her fellow pilots for the first time and isn't impressed with what she sees. Will Reika create an even bigger divide? What about Rei, where is she? How will Gendo Ikari explain Reika to SEELE? All of this and more in the next installment! 

And finally the teaser (sorry I forgot it last time):

_"Doll. Doll, doll, doll. You're just a stupid doll!" She jeered. _

_smack "Never call me that again." I replied darkly. _

_I stomped up to Shinji and stared at him with as much vehemence as I could muster. I couldn't stand him. The spineless coward, he had let her walk all over me like that. "I hate you, Shinji Ikari!" I screamed. _


	15. She Screamed I Hate You Shinji Ikari!

Hello all! I am back! I appologize for taking so long with this chapter, I have been very lazy lately. Honestly, that's my best excuse. Unfortunately I start school in a few days. This will probably slow me down so expect less frequent updates.

I don't own Eva!

Don't forget to R & R!

--

**Ch. 11: And She Screamed, "I hate you! Shinji Ikari!" **

I had imprisoned myself in a cage of my own creation as a last defense against Leliel's attacks. It was constructed from my own A.T. field and pure will power. As long as I stayed inside Leliel could not find me however if I stuck so much as the end of my finger outside the boundary I had created, Leliel would find me in a heartbeat and it would all be over.

I had no idea how Leliel had survived berserker Units Zero and One. She had clung to life somewhere inside Unit Zero's core and maybe as deep as my own. I didn't know and there was no way to know for sure without leaving my protection. Still there was one thing I did know, Leliel was alive and that for me was in big trouble.

I was trapped with in this small sphere with nothing to do but to think. Trying to come up with a way to defeat Leliel and free myself. However I could come up with nothing that didn't involve me leaving the safety of the barrier I had erected. I already knew that I couldn't leave because if I did Leliel would capture me and rip my soul into pieces.

So I sat, thought, listened and waited. One day I felt at the very edge of my senses a presence similar to mine. I didn't dare try to get closer to the source or feel it out because that would betray my presence. So I sat watching the other presence, wondering who it was and what it was doing.

--

Misato made her way down the hallway towards Ritsuko's office carrying a fresh pot of coffee. This was her habit every day since she knew her long time scientist friend ran out of coffee about this time every morning. However this was not to be the usual morning conversation between the two friends. Misato intended to have a talk with Ritsuko after the coffee was delivered. The problem was she didn't know what to say. In her mind Misato was figuring out the right words to say to her long time scientist friend when she got there.

Misato reached Ritsuko's office to find the door ajar and the blond scientist inside typing away furiously at her computer. "Hello, Ritsu. Need some more coffee?"

Ritsuko turned around with an almost grateful smile on her face. "Thank-you, Misato. My cup was getting cold."

Ritsuko held out her coffee mug and Misato filled it with the pot she was holding. The pair sat down and Ritsuko drank deeply from her cup. Then Ritsuko leaned back in her chair and smiled. "I need to speak to you Ritsuko, alone." Misato said suddenly.

Ritsuko looked over the edge of her coffee mug her face displaying her surprise. Misato was usually quick to start a conversation but she seemed antsy today for some reason. "About?" She inquired trying to sound nonchalant.

Misato hesitated, still unsure of what to say, then burst out, "Well, everything. Ritsuko, what you're doing for Commander Ikari, it's insane! You need to get out while you still can!"

Ritsuko shook her head looking cynical. "Fool. It's too late to escape, for any of us. You should worry about protecting your own head."

A look of anger shot across Misato's face. "So you're asking me to forget about you and let you keep doing what you're doing?" She replied having to forcibly keep herself from raising her voice too high.

Ritsuko shrugged. "Exactly. It would be best for you to stay out of the business I'm in."

"I'm not an idiot Ritsu, I know what I saw down there last night. You're copying children with Eva technology and god knows what else. What next?" Misato demanded in a hard voice.

"I'm not going to answer that." Ritsuko replied stiffly.

Misato sighed and shook your head a look of disappointment on her face. "Ritsu I'd wish you'd stop being so stubborn and let an old friend help you out."

"Ha! That will be the day you get back into a serious relationship with Kaji."

Misato made a face. "You won't catch me near that good for nothing, lecherous, unshaven, slob of a pig man."

"Really? Section Two reports that the two of you have spent a lot of time together outside of the office lately."

Misato's face displayed her horror and disgust at Ritsuko's comment. "That's a pack of lies." She snapped.

"I wish it were but the evidence is shall we say, convincing."

Misato shot Ritsuko a dirty look and crossed her arms. "So this is how you conduct diplomacy, pathetic, Ritsuko. Really a standing example. I guess you and the Commander really should be stuck together down there."

"Get out." Ritsuko barked loudly.

Misato's face revealed her surprise at Ritsuko's sudden anger. "Fine. I will; just answer me one thing; where's the fourth child?" Misato said in a dejected, hurt voice.

"She's resting on the medical floor right now. Commander Ikari had her up all night reading over her assignment. I imagine he'll have a brief interview with her shortly and then you'll introduce her to the other two children when they arrive for their sync tests later."

Misato straightened up. "I see. Well, I'll leave your to your precious work then."

Ritsuko turned around without a word, her face still a mask of furry. Misato sighed and left knowing she'd get no more from the fake blond scientist.

--

I was a copy of a fake meant to replace a fake. How ironic is that? I wasn't even a proper copy. My lungs weren't formed correctly, my soul was not the same and there were other differences. All of these combined made me less controllable and easier to destroy. _Obliterate._ That's what the Commander wanted to do to me when my job was done. I was to disappear because I shouldn't have existed at all. My life was a threat to his plans so I would have to go.

Die, that's what I didn't want to do. So I would have to find someway to survive.

Reika, that's what he called me. It was his first and biggest mistake. By changing my soul and name, I was no longer under his control. I would not, could not be his puppet. Instead I would be his worst nightmare. That's who I was, Reika Ayanami.

Beyond that I knew he did not want me and would have preferred me dead. I had nothing to loose by challenging this 'Commander' if I died that was okay because I would have died anyway however if by some miracle I lived I would win freedom for myself and possible all of the other Ayanami's. From this moment on I was in secret rebellion against Commander Ikari and all of Nerv.

Slowly my eyes opened and the ceiling came into view. I was alone in the hospital wing until Commander Ikari summoned me for our meeting. There was a plug suit in the closet for me but nothing else except hospital gowns because there wasn't anything for me to wear. I guess I would have to find something better when I got out of here.

I guess it was a good thing I had a plug suit since the Commander wanted to test my compatibility with Unit Zero as soon as possible. Even if everything went okay my scores would not be as high as my sister's. We had different souls. I would still be expected to perform and prove my worth. If not I was as good as dead.

I had to wonder what the others would think of me. Despite the fact our DNA wasn't exactly the same, Rei and I were indistinguishable on the outside and as far as anyone else would know we were identical twin sisters. That was the plan. I was to be Rei's sister.

The disk on the table beside me went off, beeping loudly in the silence. I didn't move or flinch. So the Commander wanted to see me? Well, there was no point in not showing up as expected. Silently I rose to my feet and left the room headed to Commander Ikari's office.

When I entered the Commander's office he was waiting for me. On his desk was a cell phone an access card for NERV and several sheets of paper. He handed them all to me without comment. I took the seat across from him and flipped though the papers quickly. They stated that I was now officially the fourth child, Reika Ayanami. I was to live in the same apartment my sister did and was to join the same class she and the other pilots were in. There was also a lot of official stuff I did not completely understand.

"I assume you've read over your assignment and understand what you are to do."

"Yes, Commander Ikari, I understand that my position is only temporary. I will be obedient as long as I am useful."

"Very good you may go."

I hadn't said all I wanted to but I knew to do that was dangerous. With what I needed to say said I turned and left the room turning my back on the Commander. He would not dare touch me. I was too important to him, for now.

--

Commander Ikari angrily pulled his gun from his desk drawer and aimed it at the back of the head of the blue haired girl. He should have shot her then and there but didn't. She hadn't said so but he could tell by the way Reika looked in that instant when their eyes met that she would not be controlled. She should never have been allowed to live and he ought to kill her. Except, as she had pointed out she was important in the short term but easily expendable once her usefulness was gone. She would die when he was done with her. Of that he was sure.

He placed his gun on the desk and picked up the phone to call Doctor Akagi. "How hard would it be to change the specs on Unit Five to match those for Unit Zero?" He demanded.

"Not very. I believe the Russian's only recently began construction on Unit Five two months ago. Why?"

"I want you to copy Unit Zero's specs and send them to our Russian friends. Tell them I want Unit Five to be built according to the new design."

"Understood."

"Also. Start preparations for a soul transfer."

"Yes, sir."

Yes, with some slight effort he would destroy this insolent doll with Eva itself. A smirk appeared on Gendo's face as he assumed his usual stance. She thought she could challenge him but she would soon find out how powerful he was.

--

I returned for my room where I was to wait for major Katsuragi to come for me. She was, I had been told, to introduce me to the other two pilots before our sync test later this morning. My knowledge of them came largely from the files I had spent most of last night reading. Rei's memories had not transferred well to me because of our differences. Most of her interactions with them had been lost or were fuzzy. So I determined to form my own impressions of them based upon what I thought when I met them. Still I had somehow maintained my sister's knowledge of Nerv's inner workings and hidden secrets. A fact I hoped to make great use of should the need arise.

Time dragged slowly by and I found myself pacing the small room in anticipation. What was taking so long? I sighed and sat back down on the bed. I should be more patient. Things would happen when they did and getting anxious over it would not change anything.

Now that I was sitting down, the tiredness from being awake for several hours straight was beginning to catch up. I closed my eyes and let myself rest so I'd have energy when the Major arrived.

I was awakened sometime later when someone began shaking my shoulders. I opened my eyes to see Major Katsuragi staring down at me with a smile on her face. She was one of the people who'd saved my life the night before I recalled. I liked her already. "Its time to go met the other children. Are you ready?" She asked.

I nodded eagerly and sat up. She led the way out the door and I followed quickly. We made our way to the Eva cage where I found the other two waiting for me. Pilot Sohryu, I noticed, held herself high with an air of superiority in a simple red dress. Pilot Ikari on the other hand wore a white shirt and black pants, looking more reserved and hesitant. "Asuka, Shinji, I want you to meet the fourth child and new pilot of Unit Zero, Reika Ayanami."

I had noticed the way Pilot Sohryu was watching me but when the Major identified who I was it seemed to cause a violent reaction. "What a doll number two? What's going on around here? What's with all these walking talking doll freaks?" Pilot Sohryu exclaimed.

I felt thoroughly insulted. How dare she call me a doll? I would have her know I was nobody's puppet. "I am not a doll." I insisted firmly fixing her with a resolved stare.

"Yes! You are! You're a freak just like her!" She laughed back.

Now I was becoming highly annoyed, why was Pilot Sohryu persisting in insulting me? More importantly how could Pilot Ikari stand so silently by and let her do it? I would not stand for this. "No I'm not. I'm not a doll. I bow to no one." I said determinedly.

"Doll. Doll, doll, doll. You're just a stupid doll!" She jeered.

Smack "Never call me that again." I replied darkly.

I stomped over to Pilot Ikari and stared at him with as much vehemence as I could muster. I couldn't stand him. The spineless coward, he had let her walk all over me like that. He had also left Rei open before. Me I don't know how I knew this, I think it was more intuition then anything else. So much for the great Eva Pilot. "I hate you, Shinji Ikari!" I screamed.

I stood my ground glaring at both of them breathing hard in frustration. So far I was not impressed and I think they were stunned by how strongly I had come out. Had they expected me to be like my sister, Rei? Unfortunately I could not be her. It was not who I was.

I glared over at the Major who was standing a few feet away to my side. "This is normal behavior? You guys don't defend each other from insults?" I said sarcastically.

"Reika." She hissed angrily.

That's when I knew I had crossed the line.

--

Shinji stood frozen in shock at this compelling presence. _"I hate you Shinji Ikari!"_ The voice rang loudly in his head.

Reika hated, hated him. He just wanted to run away from her and those eyes.

She looked exactly like Rei but the two couldn't be farther apart. Reika was fiery and passionate like Asuka. She was unlike anyone he had ever met.

Still there was something about her that was so like Rei. Shinji had to tell himself several times that Rei was no where near here and it was someone else who had said she hated him. Especially because what Reika had just said was what he feared Rei would one tell him.

Shinji unexpectedly realized that Rei had never mentioned her twin sister. It was highly possible she hadn't known but still something seemed odd about that . . .

--

Asuka allowed herself a slight grin after Reika slapped her. This new girl looked like the doll but she fought back. Reika had done what Rei would never dare to do and slapped the so-called 'German Fireball'. Asuka was impressed. She liked Reika already.

--

I sighed letting my shoulder slacken slightly. I feared I had made too strong an impression on them. Still I felt that in one respect they both deserved it. Pilot Ikari seemed to recover faster and was the first to approach me although the look he wore was akin to an abused puppy instead of bravery. "Sorry for offending you." He said weakly.

He looked like he half expected me to scream or hit him. Instead I tried to smile at him. "I apologize for over reacting." I said softly.

All three of them seemed surprise at my reaction. I guess I really had gone too far when I lashed out. I would have to work on watching my temper lest it come out in front of the Commander. "I'm afraid we're not sure what to make of a new pilot after loosing Rei." Major Katsuragi aid, sounding somewhat relieved.

I offered up a small smile and extended my hand to both pilots. "Then shall we start again?" I asked.

Pilot Ikari accepted very reluctantly and we shook hands briefly. I then turned to Pilot Sohryu. "What about you?"

A small smile tugged at the edge of her lips. "You're cool."

It seemed that I would get no more from the Second Child so I nodded and accepted what she had given him. "Where have you been living all these years?" Pilot Ikari asked.

"In northern Hokkaido with my foster parents."

It was a lie but one I must tell if I wished to stay alive. "Did you ever meet the First Child?" Pilot Sohryu asked.

"No. I'm afraid we were separated when we were young and I haven't seen her since. I was only a replacement if something happened to her."

"I see."

Next to me I saw Major Katsuragi nodding in approval. She seemed pleased that we had ceased fighting. "So, shall we begin sync tests?"

We agreed and the other two departed for the changing rooms to put on their plug suits. I sat down on one of the benches near Unit Zero to wait for their return. With my arms around my legs, I huddled tightly against a chill that seemed to hang in the air. Something felt off about the blue unit that was just off to my right.

It was only my imagination, I told myself sternly. There was nothing wrong with Unit Zero. Slowly my inner dread began to dissipate and I let myself relax. All too soon the second and third children returned dressed and ready to go. The major reappeared and we went sent to the entry plugs. I followed the example of the other two children and made my way to Unit Zero's entry plug. I starred up at it for several minutes, a hint of the fear coming back in a brief flash. I gritted my teeth and forced myself to ascend the steps. He was watching me; I could feel it. I must do this whether I liked it or not.

I opened the door and went inside, taking the pilot's chair. After few moments LCL began to flood filling the tube. As soon as it was over my head I removed the mask I wore over my face that allowed me to breath air. I took a deep breath of LCL allowing it to flood my lungs. My breath came easily almost instantly. Sigh, if only I could do this in air and not pass out, for that was what would happen if I didn't have oxygen tank and mask with me. My lungs were only able to absorb enough oxygen to keep me alive but not conscious.

"Synchronization test, begin." Said Dr. Akagi.

I closed my eyes and relaxed as connection was established between Unit Zero and myself. "Zero . . . How are you?"

I opened my eyes and looked around. No one was there. I was starting to think I had imagined it but then I heard it again. "Half breed, false one, zero . . ."

"Who are you?"

" . . . Leliel . . ."

"But you're . . .."

" . . . Dead. Ha! Hardly. The second zero couldn't do that. She succumbed to my powers allowing me to live on."

"Why, why are you here?"

"You should know . . ."

I gasped in horror. She wouldn't . . . "Oh, yes I would. If you don't believe me take a look at what I did to the second."

**"No!" **

**-- **

"Synchronization is spiking, harmonics are off the chart." Exclaimed Ritsuko.

"Synchronization has crashed. Pilot has forced termination of the syncro graft." Maya cried.

Moments later the entry plug was ejected. Reika bolted from Unit Zero's entry plug; she seized her respirator and ran out of the room sobbing. All of the Nerv personal sat stunned, wondering what just happened.

--

The minute the door opened I was out of there, sprinting for the showers as fast as I could. I turned on the hot water full blast letting it mix with my tears as I couched on the shower floor. I wanted to burn out the memories Leliel had seared into my mind. I wanted to forget everything, make it all go away.

--

When Misato and Asuka found Reika she was sitting with her head on her knees under the hot water crying her eyes out. "Mein gott, she's crying!" Asuka exclaimed.

"Reika, are you okay?"

"You can't make me; I'll never go near Unit Zero again!" Reika shouted between tears.

"Reika, you're the pilot. We don't have a spare." Misato reminded her.

"I don't care; **no one** should be piloting that thing!"

"Relax. We won't make you pilot until you're ready."

Reika looked uncomforted by the Major's words but she had clamed down enough to be back in some control over herself. Misato turned off the water and Asuka wrapped a towel around her. "Come on new girl" Asuka said, "Let's get you something to eat."

A short time later Misato returned to testing room. "Well," asked Ritsuko "How is she? What did she have to say?"

"Not a lot," Misato replied, "She was too upset to say much. The best that I can understand is that something spooked her and now she's terrified of Unit Zero."

"Well, whatever it was that scared her it must have scared her well because she crashed all of Unit Zero's systems. It'll take me a week to get them all up."

"I wonder what she saw."

"We'll probably never know but she's got a week to get over it. I doubt the Commander will let her neglect her piloting duties beyond that."

--

After I had regained control over myself, I began to realize what had happened to Rei to change the scenario. I also knew how to save my sister from Leliel's grasp. The question was, did I dare to go that far? If I did I would die and she would be back in his grasp. Of that I was sure. Of course there was the biggest question of all: how best to ruin the Commanders plans while not getting myself destroyed?

I hadn't been lying when I said that Unit Zero should not be piloted. During the time Unit Zero was in the Sea of Durac Leliel had managed to place part of herself within the blue Eva. No one else would notice because angels and Evangelions were too similar. Leliel was free to attack anyone who attempted synchronization with Unit Zero and hold Rei hostage while remaining undetected.

That's what had happened to me. When I had tried to synchronize with Unit Zero Leliel had found me instantly and recognized me for what I was. She had wasted not time in attacking me and if I hadn't crashed the system Leliel would have ripped my mind to pieces. She had come deadly close and I was convinced of her power. From now I would take special precautions when I entered the blue beast.

I pondered my new information as I made my way out of Nerv. There was much for me to consider before I did anything, especially because for now my position is precarious.

I had clothes to wear now, apparently someone had found the clothes Rei had been wearing when she was here last and washed them for me. It was not my top choice being a stiff regulation school uniform but it was better then wearing a plug suit outside so I accepted what I had.

My path out of Nerv led me past the room where Rei was held. Her room was no longer restricted as of this morning because of my arrival. I figured that I should go to visit her and see Rei for myself. As I approached the door I noticed that it was open part way. Through the crack I could hear the sound of Pilot Ikari's voice drifting from with in.

He stopped abruptly and looked around before he saw me. "Reika? Did you come to visit your sister?" He asked in an unsure voice.

I nodded and took a step inside. I noticed that Pilot Ikari was still uncomfortable around me but trying unsuccessfully to hide it. It was something I wanted to change. I felt regret at hurting him with my rash outburst and somehow I knew Rei would not approve. "I haven't seen her since before I can remember so now seemed like a good time."

Pilot Ikari turned back to Rei and said in a soft excited voice that was clearly forced, "Your sister's here to see you."

It seemed he was trying to be happy for Rei about my arrival even if he wasn't. He turned back to me and said in a soft almost apologetic voice. "You should be proud of her. Rei's an amazingly strong person with a good heart."

I didn't say so but I believed I knew what he was talking about. After all I was on some level still Ayanami. He turned to leave but I called him back. "Don't go I won't be long."

He paused and stood silently by the door for a moment before he returned to his seat. I walked over to the side of her bed and placed my hand on top of hers. To my surprise I saw just how similar our hands really were; they were virtually identical. It was a stark reminder of how much we had in common despite our differences. _Your plea has been heard sister. Rest assured, your suffering will not go on much longer. I will set you free. _

I had yet to decide how exactly I would free Rei from her captivity. However as a fellow Ayanami I could not stand by and let her continue to suffer at Leliel's grasp. So be it by her death, or the destruction of Leliel or something else; I would not allow this to go on. I would release my sister from my prison.

I sat down in the folding chair near Pilot Ikari's. From his demeanor I had the impression he did not want to talk to me more. However I felt that it was time I make a more formal apology to him. "I am very sorry for yelling at you this morning. I was out of line and extremely disrespectful towards you."

I looked over at Pilot and saw the pain in his eyes. He believed he was a horrible person and my telling him I hated him had not done any good. I expected him to respond but Pilot Ikari continued to bite his lip. "I do not think you are a horrible person, nor do I hate you."

"You don't mean that. You must hate me?"

"Why?"

"Because everyone does. Asuka yells it at me often enough and I know my father hates me. Misato, well I'm just part of her job. Even Rei must hate me on some level although she won't admit it." Pilot Ikari said in a rush.

He blinked as if surprise he said so much to me. "Why would anyone hate you?"

"Because I'm a horrible, weak, disgusting person and a coward. That's why everyone hates me."

"No you are not. Had you been horrible, weak, disgusting, coward as you called yourself you would have run away and not apologized to me, nor would you be here at Rei's side. You would not be an Evangelion Pilot either. Instead you would have left NERV and never come back."

"You know about that?"

I watched as what I said sank in. Pilot Ikari didn't seem to be completely relieved of his self-defacing feelings but he didn't seem to hate himself as much as he had.

--

Shinji looked over at Reika surprised at how kind she was being. After her outburst earlier he had expected her to be much like Asuka and for them to have a similar relationship. Now though, Reika didn't seem so mean or scary. If fact there was something about her demeanor that reminded him of the gentleness and strength Rei had, if only just a little.

--

"You know about that, the day I arrived at Nerv?"

"Not the whole story, only what I was told. From what I understand you arrived at NERV during the height of an angel assault and where forced to choose between piloting Unit One and leaving. You chose to pilot, saving my sister's life and many other's."

"I only did it because I had no choice. I woke up in the middle of the fight to find myself trapped in the entry plug and Rei unconscious. If I hadn't piloted I would have died and so would she."

"You could have gotten out or said no, the entry plug is extremely safe from what I have been told. How do you know that by doing nothing you wouldn't survive? It is possible that you would have been fine and then be able to leave, right?"

"I guess so but as you pointed out, it's hard to know for sure."

"True but the point is, you had a choice and you decided to stay. I say that is a very brave thing."

"Did you hear about the fight with the square angel? Ayanami saved me because I couldn't make the shot on the first. She nearly died to give me a chance to win. That doesn't sound too heroic dose it?"

"No, but I understand that you got your second shot off in time to keep Rei from being badly injured or killed. Then you went to see of she was okay. Why?"

"Because I was scared she had died to protect me." He said after a long moment.

"Which means that you cared."

As we continued to talk I noticed that Pilot Ikari began to relax and spoke more freely with me. He never officially accepted my apology but it became understood that I did not hate him or anything like that.

I a way I need Pilot Ikari. He could enlighten me on what had been lost to me during memory transfer in a way no one else could for I sensed that he'd been close to Rei. So when the discussion went that direction, I waited to hear what Pilot Ikari. He talked mostly of Rei and the various events that had happened since his abrupt arrival at Nerv just over six months ago. He expressed regret that Rei, who he thought was one of the kindest souls he ever met, was so lost and lonely, unable to express her emotions. He seemed sadden that Rei was always the one who got hurt the worst when it came time for battle.

At one point he asked if I could stay at Nerv after Rei awakened so that I might help her escape from the cage his father had her in. I told him apologetically that I would not be able to stay long and I must leave once my sister was declared fit for active piloting duty once more. I did not tell him of course that I would be either on the run from the Commander or dead down below in terminal dogma.

I left him feeling even more confused then before. The Commander was my enemy. That was fact. Rei was my sister and someone I did not want to see back in his grasp again. Also fact. However after my talk with Pilot Ikari I had the feeling that Rei had made herself some distance and maybe even the beginnings of friends. I also gathered from his words that he cared deeply about my sister and what happened to her, possibly even romantically. The problem was: if I helped Rei free herself she would be back in the Commander's hands but she would also be able to continue her saga, maybe even change her destiny.

Did I want to deny her that?

No.

Still, the thought of placing her back into the Commander's hands was discomforting. What should I do? I wondered.

--

The monoliths of SEELE circled around the unhappy face of Gendo Ikari seated at his desk. The air was thick and silent with tension so great it was almost like a physical presence. Then SEELE 1 spoke breaking the long moment. "What have you done Ikari? You said you could present us with an unaffected Rei Ayanami and prove that the events with the twelfth angel while regrettably unplanned held no consequence. Instead we hear you've awakened the third early and she is defective."

"You're playing a twisted game, Ikari, and we don't like it." Insinuated SEELE 3.

"The committee has it wrong that I am playing some game. I'll admit that while the third did arrive early and unexpected. However as I have pointed out that she is far from complete and will be eliminated soon when the second awakens. Instead of the third we should look to the fourth as the ultimate version of Rei. Other then that the plan has not changed, gentlemen." Gendo Ikari said calmly.

"You're wrong Ikari. The board has changed drastically." SEELE 2 stated.

"This Committee doesn't not like what you've done with the pieces, from now on you must be less rash." Admonished SEELE 5.

"Furthermore this committee will be more wary with our support of you." SEELE 1 boomed.

"This committee does not tolerate betrayal, Ikari." SEELE 3 reminded him.

"I understand, gentlemen." Gendo Ikari explained.

The lights went out leaving Gendo once again alone in his office with a deepening frown on his face. Now he had SEELE on his case as well. This wasn't good. They thought Reika's appearance was linked to some sort of betrayal on his part. All the more reason to see that she was eliminated soon before she had a chance to further mess with his plans. Thankfully he might soon have a good excuse to do just that. He had a report from Ritsuko this afternoon about the damage Reika had done to Unit Zero. It had ended with the note that she was unwilling to pilot again. If Reika did not pilot Unit Zero she was useless to him and he could destroy her all the faster.

--

When I finally reached the place where, for the time being, was my home I was horrified. Not only was the area around it slums and suspicious, the inside was bare. It was quite possibly the most inhospitable place I had ever seen. Everything in there was bare and minimalist. Looking around I had to question why anyone would be here. However it seemed like the perfect place for Commander Ikari to imprison my sister.

_Well, I thought looking around. Starting tomorrow I'll have to make these prison walls a little more hospitable._

There was nothing more I could do tonight so I changed into an old shirt and went to sleep much like my sister did.

The next morning I slept in until late the effects of yesterday taking their toll on my body. I was, nor would I ever, be physically strong or have great stamina because of my constant reliance on an oxygen tank to breathe.

When at nearly ten thirty I finally forced myself to leave the pleasant comforts of dreams and start my day, I discovered that there was no food to be found. So I would have to go out to eat. So I found one of Rei's clean school uniforms and made for the shower.

A half an hour later I was on my way thought the already crowded streets of Tokyo III, oxygen tank in tow behind me. I didn't have a specific destination in mind at the moment. My main objective was to see what was where and get a feel for things. Then I would have brunch. From there I would begin the project of buying me some clothes and furnishing for the apartment. I wondered if Rei would mind or even use any of the things I intended to buy when I was gone or if they would lay discarded in my absence. Only time would tell I guessed.

I passed a fried noodle stand after wandering a few blocks on my journey and the smell was irresistible. So I decided it was time to make use of my NERV credit card for the first time. I bought a large bowl of noodles with seafood from the vender and sat down at a nearby park bench to enjoy them.

"Rei!"

I swallowed and looked around wondering who was calling my sister's name. From the other side of the park came two boys who appeared to be my own age. One was bespectacled and had sandy blonde hair. Kensuke Aida, my memories told me after a minute. The other boy was taller, dressed in a sweat suit and had dark hair. I couldn't recall his name but he seemed familiar so he must have been in the same class as Rei. When they reached my they looked pleased and seemed not to have realized that I wasn't Rei. "Ayanami you're finally out of the hospital. I'm glad to see your doing better thought it must suck to carry around that big tank all day." Aida-san exclaimed.

"I'm afraid you have me confused with my sister. Sadly she's not out of the hospital yet." I replied, trying to be as gentle as I could.

"You're Ayanami's sister?" The other boy exclaimed.

I nodded. "Yes I am; my name is Reika. Who are you? Are you some of Rei's classmates?"

Aida-san puffed his chest out importantly. "Yes we are." He said proudly. "My name is Kensuke Aida and this is Touji Suzuhara."

"It's nice to meet you Aida-san, Suzuhara-san."

"I didn't know Rei had a sister. Why haven't we seen you around before?" Aida-san asked.

"I have been living in Hokkaido until yesterday. Apparently NERV didn't want me in Tokyo III unless I was needed."

"Wait, does that mean you're the new Eva pilot? I've heard rumors that a fourth child was selected recently"

"Yes, I am the Fourth Child and temporary pilot of Unit Zero."

Aida-san looked relieved and interested while Suzuhara-san was only curios. "Why have you been in Hokkaido all this time? Shouldn't you have been here with your sister?"

"You would think so but my sister and I were separated when we were young and by the time our relationship, we both had established lives. So it was decided that it would be best if we remain where we were for the time being."

"Bummer. So what about the tank?" Suzuhara inquired.

I looked over at the oxygen tank at my side that was connected to my nose by a thin tube. "This is to help me breathe because my lungs don't work right."

"Wouldn't that make it hard to pilot the Evangelion?" Aida insisted.

"Actually I am able to breathe just fine in the Eva but I was probably passed over as the first child because I can't under most circumstances."

"You said Rei was still in the hospital, right? What's wrong with her?"

"I don't understand exactly what's wrong with her but from what I've been told the angel did something to her mind and now she can't wake up."

"So she's laying in some bed asleep?"

I nodded. "It is hoped that she will wake up soon so that I won't have to be here long."

"You're leaving when Rei come back?" Aida-san questioned.

"I'm afraid I have to go back to Hokkaido and my life when my sister is fit to pilot again. I hope that we will be able to talk and get to know each other before I leave though."

"I can't believe this, you don't even know your own sister?"

"Neither can I."

I had a lengthy chat with both of them while I finished my noodles. They seemed pleased that I would be joining the class for the time being and eagerly filled me in on the other members. By the time they left I had a rough idea of what to expect when I arrived at class the next day.

After I left them I continued my day in the city. In the end I bought some new clothes and a porcelain statue of a girl in a kimono I couldn't resist, curtains for the window and sheets for the bed. Items in hand I returned home but had no energy to take care of things so I left them on the floor while I collapsed on the bed. I decided as I listened to the hollow sound of my gasping breath that I would have to learn to take it easy and control my energy. If I didn't I might collapse from lack of air.

The thought that Eva might kill me if the Commander did crossed my mind briefly. It was always a possibility, I knew. With a shutter I shook the whole idea off. There was time to worry about that later.

--

So how was that? R & R and tell me what you think!

And finally, a teaser:

_A few moments later we were placed on the launch pad. "Evangelion Unit Zero lift off!" Major Katsuragi cried._

_With that we were shot off towards the surface. When I arrived everything was quiet. A quick scan showed me that the action was about four miles from my present location. So that's the way I went._


	16. Blood Bonds

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_**The Girl In White Bandages: The True Confessions of Ayanami Rei**_

_**Ch. Blood Bonds**_

_By Sesshy's Girl 00 _

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**Ch. 12 Blood Bonds**

Silence, never ending. That was all I had. I had been trapped in this world for what felt like forever. In the back of my mind I tried to remember that it wasn't as long as it seemed but that did little good. The feeling of eternity persisted. And it scared me.

I did not want to be here forever. I . . . I wanted to get out of here. I needed to be free. The strength of my desire for freedom terrified me. It was powerful enough to consume every free thought I had.

Yet I knew that chances were slim that I would ever leave this place. I had almost succeeded when the third entering Unit Zero had distracted Leliel. I was nearly free when Leliel had returned her focus to me and I only had time to retreat to the safety of my barrier in frustration. After that Leliel had kept an even closer eye on me and there was no way I could escape.

I knew now what the other presence was, the third. She had been awakened early, most likely by the Commander's orders because I could no longer fight. It was odd though because I knew that I was not dead. I did not hear the voices or feel the soothing connectedness of being one with Lilith and the Ayanami clones. I wondered how her awakening had happened. Was there a second soul I was not aware of? If that were true it would account for the differences I felt between the two of us.

I wasn't sure how exactly I felt about the third. On one hand I knew that she must be trapped as I had been but on the other she was there to replace me, to make me obsolete. What if she continued to survive after I woke up? Then I would be useless. I would have no purpose anymore. What would happen to me then? Would I die or would I simply be abandoned?

I did not know nor did I care to. However I was sure that I did not want to die, I wanted to live. I wasn't sure when I reached that decision but I knew that was what I wanted.

-------------

I awoke early the next morning. It was my first day of school and I needed to prepare. After my shower I found the stack of papers I had been given and began rummaging though them. I was hoping to find a map of Tokyo III but had no such luck. All I was able to find was my schools address. So I at least had a chance at finding it.

I left my home early with the plan that I would be there on time. The sun was bright and warm in the sky as I set out. It did noting to dispel the slight chill in the early morning air. I didn't think it was bad though; I enjoyed the peace and the opportunity to look for fellow students. I kept a leisurely pace as I walked; not wanting to wear myself before I even made it to school.

I arrived at school shortly before classes started and was told to sit in a chair outside classroom 2-A. It would, for the time being, be my classroom. A few students passed me by and I received strange stares from them. I chose to ignore them and remain quiet. It wouldn't be long until I would be introduced to everyone. At last the sensei appeared at the door with his briefcase in hand. "Miss Ayanami. Enter with me, please."

"Yes, sir."

I entered with him and stood at the side of the classroom while the sensei assumed his seat at his desk. "Stand. Bow. Sit down." Called the Class Rep.

"Class we have a new student with us. Please welcome Reika Ayanami."

I wrote my name on the board with a stick of chalk, then turned and smiled at everyone. Some looked back with confusion and others of interest. I clearly heard whispers from several people about the fact they didn't know Rei had a twin sister. "Settle down." The sensei said, "Miss Ayanami please take a seat."

I took an extra seat behind Pilot Sohryu and class began. Almost instantly I had about twenty messages appear on my computer screen. Some wanted to know my story, other if I needed any help, some asked if I wanted to be their friend and there were a few brave enough to ask if I wanted to be their girlfriend. I wasn't surprised by the interest in me. I looked exactly like Rei except I was attached to an oxygen tank and had a smile on my face. So it must be startling to see me walking around. On top of that my sister had no idea how stunning our looks are, a fact I was just beginning to grasp.

I replied to those who wanted to know my story first by typing out the explanation for my arrival and sending it out to a general reply. Next I replied to those wanting to know if I needed help. I thanked them for their offer to assist me and told them that I would ask them to lend me a hand if I needed it. However when it came time to reply to those who wanted to be a friend or girl friend I had to stop and think. I was not sure if I wanted to have a friend or boyfriend. After all I could not count on the span of my life or the safety of those around me. Especially once I became useless with the second's return.

When I thought about it I realized that I was still human and no matter how long I lived I desired human contact. On top of that a friend might be able to help or at least provide me support. Of course there was always the possibility that they would be in danger by association with me. After all Nerv was rumored to be ruthless. I would have to protect them from danger.

_Thank-you for your offer. I would be grateful to have friends in this new city. However I have no interest in a boyfriend. _

I sat back and waited quietly to see what would happen. Most of the responses I got were friendly and welcoming. However there were a few grumblings at the fact I was not interested in having a boyfriend. Aida-san was one of them. I decided that I owed him a personal response.

Reika Ayanami: Aida-san, I'm sorry to disappoint you but I have no interest in a boyfriend.

Kensuke Aida: Why not?

Reika Ayanami: I just don't feel ready for that kind of relationship.

Kensuke Aida: Awwwwwwwww.

Reika Ayanami: I'm sorry to disappoint you. I would be happy to be your friend however.

Kensuke Aida: Now, you're messing with me. Oh, cruel angel, how could you . . .

Reika Ayanami: Aida-san I am not pulling your leg. I was being honest when I said I would be your friend."

Kensuke Aida: Then I accept. I would be honored to know the great Reika Ayanami."

A smile crossed my face. _Thanks._ I typed back.

Of all the people I got to know at school my fellow Pilot, the Class Rep. Hikari Horaki and Kensuke Aida became my closest friends during the next few days. It was not planned but unintentional instead. It turned out that they were the ones who happily spent the most time with me and I liked all of them. Kensuke was comical and completely obsessed with anything military related and Shinji shared my love of classical music. Hikari and Asuka on the other hand were able to show me everything I didn't know about being a girl.

If it hadn't been for the problems my refusal to pilot Unit Zero was causing I would have considered everything to be going well. Yes, because I wasn't doing my job I was in trouble with the Commander. Major Katsuragi had told me it was okay to take my time but I knew the Commander was angry with me. He hadn't said anything yet but he didn't need to, I could tell he was planning to remove me already. This left me with an uneasy feeling in my stomach. I knew that I would have to do something soon if I was to save myself.

There was just one problem; I had no idea how to pilot Unit Zero. I was not sure how to get past Leliel and gain control of the blue Cyclops. The last time I tried had nearly cost my soul. I would not let that happen again. So I had to find a way to keep that from happening.

There had to be a way, I knew. Leliel was not invincible; she would not have survived if it were not for her knowledge of the mind. Was there a way I could use that against her? Maybe. I knew that on my own both Rei and I were too weak but together we would be stronger. The question was; would it be enough? I would have to find out.

Sadly there was only one way to do that. I would have to try it out and see. It was dangerous to enter Unit Zero but that was the only way. This time I did not intend not to be alone. I would have Rei with me. It was the best I could come up with and Rei's only hope. Ayanami cooperation was required to win this fight. The only question was, how was I going to get both of us into the entry plug?

That would require some consideration.

--------------------

I was awakened early Saturday morning by the ringing of my phone. I rolled over groggily and felt about clumsily on the nightstand next to my bed for the receiver. After a minute I found it and lifted it up. "Hello?"

"Hi, Reika. Sorry to wake you."

"No problem Asuka. What do you want?"

"Hikari and I are going shopping and we were wondering if you wanted to join us. I think the stooges will be there too. Hikari said something about Sana driving."

Sana, the name rang a cord of recognition but I couldn't place her. "Sure, but why so early?"

"There's a big sale at the mall today and I refuse to miss it."

I laughed softly at Asuka's comment. She was crazy about sales. I sat up slowly and set my legs over the edge of the bed. I was slightly more awake now and I could feel the cobwebs in mind going away. "I see. When should I meet you?"

"As soon as you can. We were going to meet outside of the McDonalds, okay?"

"Sure. I'll be there when I can."

I set the receiver down and yawned sleepily. It was impossible that I was up by seven o'clock. Normally I preferred to sleep in, however I now had a good reason to be up. I made my way slowly to the closet and pulled out my clothes for the day, a striped sleeveless t-shirt and green cargo pants. Then I hurried into the bathroom to shower.

That was when I discovered something I was not expecting to. When I removed my underwear it was stained red. I blinked at it in confusion not sure what it meant at first. Then I recalled the conversation I had with Dr. Akagi on my first examination. She had warned me that this might happen and then told me what to do.

-----------

_Ritsuko Akagi handed me a small bottle of pills. "Reika I believe you will start bleeding in a few days. If and when you do I want you to start taking these." _

_I looked at the pills in question. "What are they?"_

_Dr. Akagi grinned and turned her back to me. "You will want to buy some pads too. She added off handedly. _

------------------------

I arrived at the mall first and so I bought some udon soup for breakfast and ate it while I was waiting. The soup both warmed and filled me quickly so I was quite content before long.

It wasn't long before the other showed up. Asuka had the lead, with a huge smile on her face. Hikari was not far behind along with Shinji, Kensuke and Touji. I felt a small smile curl the edge of my lips at the sight of them. I was glad to have friends despite my initial fear that they would be in danger.

"Hey, Reika. You been here long?" Asuka asked.

I shook my head and rose to my feet to meet them.

"You ready to shop?" Hikari asked.

"Of course. That's why I came here. Although I surprised you convinced the guys to come along with us."

"Oh, it wasn't too hard. They are stooges after all and we'll need someone to carry our stuff, won't we?" Asuka pointed out.

I looked over at the faces of the guys to see that while they looked content for now, they weren't nearly as thrilled about being here as we girls were. It shouldn't be too bad though; we were at a mall after all. Everyone should be able to find something to his or her liking.

Myself, I was interested in books and music, things I didn't have. Some jewelry would be nice too. I wasn't so worried about clothes because I had bought myself enough for now.

I followed them out of the food court into the rest of the mall. Asuka took the lead, directing our path through the mall. Kensuke pulled out his video camera from his pocket and began to film us as we walked. "Here we have our valiant group off on yet another mission. On my right is the lovely Reika Ayanami."

I turned to look at him, fixing his camera leans with my red eyes. "Akkkkkkkkk. She's glaring at me!" Kensuke cried.

I smirked at him and turned back to talking with Hikari while trying not to laugh. I signaled for Hikari to continue our conversation on books but found it impossible due to my barely contained mirth.

"Our mission," Kensuke continued, "It to please the women in our company with the items of this here shopping facility."

Shinji shook his head looking highly amused. Touji meanwhile had begun to blush and exchanged odd, meaningful look with Hikari. Kensuke seemed rather pleased by his running commentary and kept it going as he followed us through the mall.

We went to the music store first.

All the shelves and racks were filled with crisp, shining, cellophane enclosed packages. I had never seen anything like it before. "Reika, are you coming?"

I blinked and looked over to see both Hikari and Shinji looking at me with concern. I smiled at them reassuringly. "Yes, I am coming."

"You looked shocked. Are you sure you're okay?"

"I'm fine. I've never been in a music store before."

Both of their faces displayed their surprise at my confession. They must have thought I had said the most horrible thing ever. Who had never been to a music store before?

Well as for my part, I had forgotten that my alibi said that I had lived in Hokkaido. I had never been there but I imagine that there must be plenty of music stores. So it would be strange for someone to have never been to one. "I meant one this big. I lived in a pretty small town in Hokkaido."

This released the tension and I quickly followed them inside before anything more could be said. I wanted to enjoy this day and that wouldn't happen if I ruined it. _Do not to blow my cover_, I told myself sternly.

I tried to remain calm and cover up my lack of recognition as I flipped through the various CDs. I used the other comments and the occasional question to figure out what I would be interested in. It wasn't perfect but it kept me occupied, giving me something to do.

I didn't like to think too much now days. That usually led me to a dark area where I did not like to go. I would be reminded of my own weaknesses and vulnerabilities. The reason's I would have to fight for my life.

The next stop was the bookstore.

I like this place the moment I entered. There were large heavy shelves lined floor to ceiling with books and thick over stuffed chairs sat in a circle at the center of the store. The employees looked comfortable and at ease too.

I set off into the depths of the store and began to brows through the book selection. I was able to be a good impression of what to expect by reading the back and glancing at the first few pages.

Soon I had a small collection of reading material and had taken over one of the arms chairs to go through it all. As I was reading the first few pages of a book called Socrates in Love, Hikari appeared and set a small stack of manga on top of my pile. "Reika, are you okay? You look a little pale."

"Thanks for worrying but I'm fine Hikari. So what have you brought for me?"

"Well I noticed that you hadn't gone through the manga yet so I brought over some I thought you would like."

"Thanks."

"No problem. Just take it easy, okay?"

"Sure thing."

I turned over the first volume of manga in the pile and read the title, Ayashi no Ceres. There were some good books here. I grinned knowing I would have plenty of reading material by the time I left.

"Hey Reika. Sitting down already?"

I looked up to Asuka approaching me. "I can't stand all the time. Not in my condition. Beside these chairs are too comfortable not to sit in."

Asuka smirked at me. Then she waved and walked off to search for more books.

--------------

Blood, screams, death, fear, hate, darkness, eternal darkness . . .

"Reika are you listening?"

"Hu?"

I turned to Kensuke as I tried to shake away the thoughts that had been troubling me. "Sorry. What did you say?"

"I asked if you knew when Unit Three was going to arrive in Japan?"

I had heard about Unit Three two days ago. She was being flown to Japan from America after an accident with Unit Four. "She's going to arrive sometime this afternoon." I told him.

Kensuke grinned excitedly. "Really. Do you know who's going to pilot her?"

I shrugged. Unlike my sister those in charge of Nerv did not trust me so I was not told anything that wasn't important for me to know. I had not been told about the fifth child yet. "Do you, do you think I could be chosen to pilot her?"

I straightened my black pleated dress and the straps of my orange shirt as I attempted to find the words to answer him. "I wouldn't know. I have no control over who is selected as a pilot."

"Can't you talk to Misato or something?"

I shook my head again. As much as I liked him I could not help him become an Eva Pilot. "Aida-san..."

"Please. I know that between you and Shinji, Misato can be convinced to make me an Eva Pilot."

"I'm afraid we can not."

Kensuke frowned, looking disappointed. "Isn't there anyway for me to become an Eva Pilot?"

Before I could answer my phone began to ring. I quickly dug it out from my bag. "Reika, you are needed at NERV. Come immediately." Instructed the voice of Ritsuko Akagi on the other end.

"Yes, ma'am."

I put my phone away and turned to Kensuke. "I need to go, I have been summoned to NERV. I'll see you tomorrow okay?"

"Sure thing!"

I left Kensuke and made my way to Nerv. I felt nervous about the abrupt summons because I had no idea what to expect. Would the Commander try to force me to Pilot Unit Zero? Would I be subjected to some horrible test? It was hard to say.

When I arrived Dr, Akagi and Commander Ikari were waiting for me. They looked surprised when they saw what I was wearing but said nothing. I was taken down into the lower levels of Nerv where the dummy plug and Rei clones were stored. I understood when I saw them what was going on. The Commander wanted to turn me into a dummy plug too, so that he could at least get some use out of me once I was dead. This struck me as suddenly quite hilarious and I had to quickly suppress my laughter. I would not be here long enough to be of use to them.

Commander Ikari ordered me to strip and enter the tube in the center of the room. "No."

I saw a hint of annoyance cross his face. Clearly he did not like it when people talked back to him. "Why not?"

I met his eyes with my own level stare. "I do not want you to see me naked. I have a sense of modesty."

I knew that I shouldn't have protested but I could not stand the thought of him looking at me undressed. I waited to see what the Commander would say to me. His jaw was tight and his fists were tightening at his side. It looked like I would be in trouble. After a long pause he turned around. "I trust you can handle set up, Doctor?" He asked.

I hadn't been watching Dr. Akagi but when I turn to look at her I saw her visibly relax as if she had been holding her breath. Then she nodded calmly. "Yes, sir."

Commander Ikari nodded and left. I waited until the door closed behind him before I began to strip out of my clothes. With Dr. Akagi's help I entered into the glass tube. The LCL rose quickly to cover me and I breathed deeply enjoying the ease with which I could do it. I wondered if I would always feel more comfortable in LCL then out in the air.

From the other side of the glass I could see Dr. Akagi walk over to her control console. She sat down in one of her chair and typed something in. "Okay, Reika. You're going to feel funny here for a minute okay?"

I had no way to respond but to nod so I did.

I tingling sensation started in my back, right between my shoulders. It spread throughout my body. My sight began to blur as my body went numb. Then everything began to fade out. Right before I lost consciousness I saw the Commander reentering the room.

From somewhere in the distance I could hear feminine voices but I didn't understand what they were saying. I tried to get closer to them but it was impossible. The voices seemed to move farther away from me. I frowned, wondering who they were. Were they the other Rei's?

I reached out to the voice and felt synchronization with my sisters occur easily. I occurred to me that if I could reach the other Rei clones that I might be able to reach Rei in her hospital. I tried again and could feel the others respond even more strongly to my call except the one I wanted; the second remained silent. I tried again to reach her. This time I got a response.

It was little more than an impression in the back of my mind but it was what I wanted, the second's reply. I focused all my attention on it and slowly it became clearer and sharper. Gradually I could make her out in front of me. She was trapped, I realized, in a bubble of her creation. I knew without being told if she moved one finger beyond its boarder Leliel would attack her but as long as she stayed here she'd never wake up. "Hello, sister." I greeted her.

She looked dazed as she raised her head to look at me. "Why are you here?" She asked.

"I've come to ask for your help. Leliel won't let me pilot Unit Zero."

"Why me? I can't even feel my own body. I can't be of any use to you."

"Yes you can. You can face Leliel and keep her busy."

She looked at me with big stunned eyes. "Can I? I have failed before."

"Yes, you can. I believe in you. Will you do it?"

After some hesitation she answered, "Yes, yes I will, no I can."

"Thank-you, my sister."

I opened my eyes as I felt my mind rise from the darkness. The battle was about to begin; I needed to hurry. Bardiel was here.

I grabbed my oxygen mask as the LCL drained away. I breathed deeply letting the transfer take place. Commander Ikari was standing not far away frowning disapprovingly at me. However he did nothing but walk out of the room, Dr. Akagi typed away at the computer for a minute before the tube rose up and I was allowed to leave. "There are showers in the next room," She said, pointing to a door off to the left.

I made my way through the door to find that my clothes were waiting for me on the bench along with a plug suit. The only other thing in the small room was a shower where I was to clean off. I looked inside to find a bottle of cheap all purpose body wash and shampoo on the floor.

I stepped inside and turned the handle being careful to stay out of the way. A blast of ice water came from the showerhead I turned it up until the water was warm then stepped under. I scrubbed down quickly and dressed in the plug suit. I knew that it wouldn't be long now before Bardiel revealed himself and I had things to do if I was to be ready.

I stuffed my clothes into my duffel bag and slung it over my shoulder. I exited the room to find it deserted and dark. It appeared that I would have to make my way across by feeling. I stepped cautiously one foot at a time until I found the stairs. I made my way up them and out the door. From there on it was an easy but long walk to the pilot's lounge. I had decided to eat and wait here until the alarms went off. I needed Nerv distracted by the angel before I implemented my plan.

There was no sign of Major Katsuragi or Dr. Akagi. I suspected that they had probably just left for Matsushiro for the testing of Unit Three already. So for now I was free to do what I wished, within limits of course.

It was barely an hour later when the sirens began to sound within the walls of Nerv. I stood and took one last swig of the canned lemon aid I was drinking. Then I made my way to the medical center. It was time to go get my sister. When I reached room 202-256-1 I stopped. I pulled out my I.D. card and swiped it, the lock flashed green. I opened the door and stepped inside. "Hello, sister. Are you ready to go?" I said.

The second lay unconscious on a bed under the window dressed in a hospital gown. On the table beside her were her unopened get-well cards and two bouquets of various assortments. I went to the closet and opened it up. Inside I found what I had come for, the second's plug suit and a wheelchair. I took the plug suit off the shelf and went over to the bed. I closed the window and proceeded to put the plug suit on the second. It was harder then it looked moving around all that dead weight so it took me several minutes to accomplish this task. Once she was dressed I took out the wheelchair and set it beside the bed. I wrapped Rei loosely in one of the sheets from her bed and then placed her in the wheelchair. I left my bag in the closet, and then we hurried off down the hallway.

A few minutes later found us in the Eva docking bay. The other two Eva's had already launched and were long gone but Eva Unit Zero was in her cage, waiting for us. We took the elevator up to the launch deck and I carried Rei into the Eva. I ordered the computer to configure Eva Unit Zero for us and then the LCL began to fill the tube. As synchronization began I could feel my sister restraining Leliel blocking the connections she could use to get to me. Only one thing left to do, get permission to launch.

I pressed the communication button to find Major Katsuragi there wrapped in some bandages. I was surprised because she was supposed to still be trapped in the rubble at Matsushiro. Why was she still here?

I shook my head deciding not to question. "Captain Katsuragi, permission to launch Eva Unit Zero?"

Major Katsuragi's face did not appear pleased. "Reika what is Rei doing in Unit Zero?"

"She's providing me with back up."

"Are you sure? Rei's unconscious you know." She asked tentatively.

"I know but the Eva can still sync with her. So she's helping me.

There was a long moment of silence before she sighed and answered me. "You don't have to if you don't want to."

"We'll be fine."

"Okay. Good luck!"

A few moments later we were placed on the launch pad. "Evangelion Unit Zero, lift off!" Major Katsuragi cried.

With that we were shot off towards the surface. When I arrived everything was quiet. A quick scan showed me that the action was about four miles from my present location. Naturally that's the way I went. It didn't take me long to find evidence of the battle, about half way there I found Unit Two face down with a giant piece of concrete on her back. I seized it and with all my strength rolled it off. "Pilot Sohryu! Pilot Sohryu! Can you hear me?" I called to her.

"Mein Gott!" Pilot Sohryu replied after a moment" Is that you Wonder Girl? They sent you out too?"

"Yes, they did. What happened? Are you okay?"

"I'm fine. Where are they now? That thing's going to pay."

I pointed in the direction of the battle; as if to confirm what I had said a shock wave hit at that exact moment. Pilot Sohryu and I looked at each other then hurried off. Ikari-kun was probably in trouble.

When we arrived Unit One and Bardiel where engaged in a battle of progressive knives. Asuka whipped her own out and charged in but I held back in surprise. I had learned that Bardiel would take Unit Three but it was one thing to know it and another to see it. I closed my eyes as a sickening feeling settled in my stomach. This would not be pretty. Touji was still inside. Touji was the fifth child.

While I had been distracted with my own horror Bardiel had knifed Unit One in the shoulder. He stumbled back in pain and Bardiel turned to face Unit Two. Asuka forced him to the ground. The two wrested violently before Bardiel grabbed her and cracked Unit Two over his knee. Asuka screamed and went silent. Bardiel tossed her across the ground and she rolled several times before she came to a stop. Meanwhile Pilot Ikari was back on his feet and ready to go. "Reika," He said, "Let's pin him down and get him together."

"Alright let's go!" I replied.

We charged Bardiel and pinned him to the ground. He struggled fiercely but we held fast using the combined power of two Eva's to overwhelm the possessed unit. Unexpectedly a sound only connection appeared. "Someone please stop this thing. I can't control it. I want out of here. If anyone one can here me, HELP ME PLEASE!"

The link went dead. "Suzuhara . . ." I murmured.

"Father!" Screamed Pilot Ikari "I thought you told me the pilot had been ejected! You liar! He's still in there!"

Bardiel's hand got free and swung his progressive knife at Unit One. "Pilot Ikari!" I screamed as I caught it.

Bardiel overpowered me and threw Unit Zero with all his strength. I flew through the air and crashed into some nearby rocks. Groaning I brushed off the dust and stood up. Bardiel looked at me and I realized he could feel Leliel. "Sister, keep her quiet." I pleaded to the second.

"Bardiel." Came Leliel's horse whisper.

Bardiel roared and charged at me. I pulled my progressive knife and prepared to meet him. We clashed and Bardiel overpowered me and seized my arm. The ooze flowed from his mouth assimilating into my arm. I winced as the acid like pain went deeper and become more powerful. Leliel voice became stronger and stronger until it was ringing from every direction. "Remove the arm!" Shouted the Commander's voice.

"But sir the nerves are still connected."

"Do it."

Seconds later the arm detached and unimaginable pain shot through my shoulder. I screamed in pain and fell to the ground in agony. I cut the links and ejected the entry plug. I grabbed my oxygen mask and breathed deeply, whimpering in pain. "I was safe. I was safe. "I told myself over and over.

Slowly my nerves came back under control and I began to relax. I looked over at the second; she was still silent. I took the oxygen tank from the shelf and peaked out the entry plug door. Unit One had removed Bardiel's left arm but he refused to give up. I hoped Ikari-kun would win quickly, things could become bloody if he didn't. I looked up at Unit Zero. . . And she looked back. I gasped. It was too late Leliel had taken control. "Crap." I muttered.

I hurried back in and Rei unto my back before hurrying from the entry plug. _Unit Zero please, do not move._ I pleaded mentally. I moved as fast as I could which wasn't very. I was gasping before I was barely a hundred feet away. Behind me I heard Unit Zero rise to her feet. She crushed the entry plug underfoot as she followed after me.

I paused to breathe deeply, wondering if there was anything I could do to save myself. I bit my lip knowing that was about to do. There was no way for me to out run an Eva. _Run._

I blinked wondering who had spoken. There was no one there. _Run. Fly._

I started to move and I felt my body gain strength with every step I took. Before I knew it I was running over the ground. The mysterious voice hummed in my ears pushing me on. I darned not to look back or slow down. Not even when my lungs screamed for air. It wasn't long before it became a struggle to move but I knew that I had to keep going. It didn't matter that Unit Zero was toying with me; this was the only hope I had.

Out of nowhere a hand grabbed me by the throat. The next thing I knew the second was holding me in the air laughing. "You're pathetic sister."

I clawed at her hands but I couldn't get free. "Let me go!"

She smirked and threw me to the ground. "You know I could just slip this mask from your face and you'd be history."

I looked at her trying to figure out what she was thinking. "Please sister." I said, "You can fight her."

Leliel snickered, "I could squash you like a bug . . ."

Her face suddenly contorted and the second returned, "It's so hard to contain her . . ."

"You can do it! You can beat her! Don't give up!"

"I won't."

"Thank-you."

Her face contorted again and Leliel returned. Behind us Unit Zero began to move as well. "Do you want to know my plan? I intend to take your sister then you then father and Lilith. Sound like fun?"

I rose to my feet ignoring the pain and my body's protest. "Hardly, sounds like a foolish plan to me. Why do you need us anyway?"

"Because you're Ikari's favorites. He'll do anything to keep you safe. Besides I like using you. It's much more fun to watch you struggle against me than ordinary humans. They're so pathetic."

'They're not pathetic. Maybe by the physical abilities yes but their hearts are as strong as ever."

"We'll see when final judgment comes, cousin. That will be their ultimate test. If they make it you win if not . . . I believe you can fill in the rest."

Her face contorted and the second spoke, "I know. I'm trying." She hissed through gritted teeth.

"Yes, I know. You can do it!" I insisted.

I grabbed Rei's hand and pulled her off in the direction of Nerv, away from Unit Zero. I had to get us out of there before Unit Zero started moving because once it did there was no way for me to stop her. "Hang in there sister." I told the second "You're doing good. Just keep talking and stay with me."

We hadn't gone far when Rei collapsed unable to move another step. I caught her before she hit the ground. "I'm sorry . . .," She murmured.

She sank into unconsciousness and would not be awakened. I looked back to see Unit Zero beginning to move. I grabbed the second in my arms and ran. _Crap, I thought, we were mincemeat. Unit Zero was **berserker**._

--------------

Meanwhile Shinji had cornered the angel. Even after severe damage and the loss of a limb it refused to give up. There was only one way to stop it, Shinji knew. He seized it with all of the brute force he could muster and removed the entry plug. The unit fell silent and Shinji let it fall to the ground. "Now what?" Shinji thought.

If he squeezed it he could seriously injure or kill the pilot but if he didn't he couldn't kill the angel. He groaned to himself not liking the answer to his dilemma one bit. It required he to squish the entry plug and he could not, would not harm one of his best friends. "Shinji what are you waiting for?"

Shinji looked up to see his father's face in a conversation box. "What are you waiting for Shinji? Do it."

Shinji's fists clenched in anger. How dare that bastard ask him to hurt Touji? He must be insane. "NO! I won't!"

Gendo Ikari's face didn't move at Shinji's response. "Why not?"

A stray tear rolled down Shinji's face. "Touji's my friend and I can't . . . I can't do it. I can't end his life."

Gendo calmly adjusted his orange tinted glasses. "You must defeat the angel."

"I won't kill Touji."

"Then we will make you do it."

Shinji's breath caught and his eyes widened slightly at the threat. "You wouldn't."

Gendo smirked slightly at his rebellious son causing Shinji to set his jaw. The feeling war was strong. "I will only say this once more. Do it now."

Shinji's lips quivered as tears threatened to come from his eyes. How could his father ask him to do this, to take the life of someone else? It wasn't right. He couldn't do it; it was too horrible . . .

Shinji looked helplessly from his father's face and Unit Three entry plug. He was trying to come up with someway, anyway to get himself out of here. He didn't want to have to make this decision.

A look of absolute revolution crossed his face as Shinji looked away. He squeezed Unit One's massive hand shut and gently as he could. Shinji bit his lip lightly as the yellow orange LCL flowed over his hand. It made him feel sick.

Shinji closed his eyes and buried his head in his arms as he struggled not to cry. He hated everything and his only hope was that Touji was okay.

Misato's face appeared. "Shinji . . . I . . . I" She stammered.

"Shut up! I don't want to hear it!" Shinji snapped.

Misato opened and closed her mouth several times but was unable to say anything. "Finally, nothing to say, huh? As I thought, you're as bad as the rest of them, cold and heartless! You're just pretending you care about me." Shinji screamed.

"Shinji . . . I . . . ah-uh . . . I know you think I'm a horrible person and you have every right to feel that way but I'm really truly sorry about all of this. I never meant for things to happen this way . . . any of it . . ."

Misato bowed her head and bit her lip as she struggled not to cry. "I'm so, so sorry. So very sorry Shinji."

Suddenly Shinji heard alarms going off on the other side. "Major . . . its, its Unit Zero!" Maya exclaimed.

"Let me see."

Her face disappeared for a second and the instant it reappeared she was so agitated Shinji couldn't make out what she was shouting at him. It took several tries for her to repeat herself so that he could understand. "Unit Zero's gone berserker! She's after Reika!"

"What!"

Shinji looked rapidly around. Not far from where he stood was Unit Zero's severed arm and crushed entry plug. There was no sign of the blue unit at all. Off in the distance he spotted her. The one armed blue cyclops was disappearing over the horizon. She was headed in the direction of Nerv. "What are you doing? Ritsuko and the medical team are on their way. Reika's the one who needs you help now! Move it!"

"Hai!"

Shinji took off for Eva Unit Zero. She was farther away than he first thought. In front of her he could see Reika running as hard as she could, trying to stay alive. The ends of her hair were soaked with sweat and her knees where torn and bloodied. In her arms was something he couldn't identify. As he neared Unit Zero she tripped and hit the ground sending the thing in her arms rolling. Unit Zero tried to grab her but she rolled out of the way and dodged her however whatever she been caring did not.

Unit Zero picked it up. Shinji paled, it was Rei. She hung limply like a puppet or rag doll between Unit Zero's thumb and forefinger. Unit Zero turned and faced him. She seemed to be using Rei to taunt him. And Shinji could almost swear there was an intelligent consciousness behind her cycloptic eye not the deranged madness of berserker.

"Unit Zero," Shinji called on his external speakers "What are you doing?"

"You want to know?" Said a mocking female voice in the back of his mind "I'm getting my revenge."

Shinji blinked once then twice then blinked again. He knew that voice. It belonged to the last angel they had fought. It didn't make sense though Dr. Akagi had assured him he'd destroyed her but he was positive it was her who had spoken to him. "Hehehe!" She giggled. "You nearly did destroy me but your friend here became a most reluctant but obliging host allowing me to survive in the core of Unit Zero."

Shinji was too shocked to say anything. Ayanami had been host to this angel. That meant, dear god no. . . . If you have any compassion at all please don't make me do this. "You want the girl spared do you? Then you'll have to do what I tell you. Let me into Nerv and give me safe passage to do what I will for one day."

"But . . . I . . . I don't, I have no authorization for something like that!"

"Then get it my dear boy."

Shinji gulped and opened a link to Nerv central. "Father . . . Unit Zero . . . she's been posed by and angel and . . . demands access to Nerv for one day… she's got Rei and she says she'll kill her" He said shakily.

Shinji heard gasps and curses from just about everyone on the other side. "Tell her if she hands over the hostage to you we'll meet her demands." Gendo Ikari replied.

Shinji turned to Unit Zero and relayed the message. The angel laughed, "You think I'm just going to turn over my hostage to you!" She exclaimed. "Not on your life! You meet my demands then I'll turn her over."

During the distraction the Reika had tried to get away but angel spotted her. "I don't think so cousin," She said.

Eva Unit Zero lifted her foot and swung it in Reika's direction. The shock waves knocked her hard to the ground. Unit Zero picked her up before she could react. "My, my, the stakes have been raised." The angel's voice said.

Shinji stared in horror as Reika squirmed and writhed in Unit Zero's hand. He tired to come up with something to say or do but all he was drawing was a blank. He felt as helpless as she looked. Pinch yourself, he thought, you got to stay focused. "Look," He said to the angel, "Hand over one of them to me; you only need on of them."

Reika jumped on his idea. "Let him have the second," She pleaded in a weak voice, "She's injured and you don't need her."

She watched Unit Zero with a pleading desperation in her eyes. For what felt like an eternity the angel gave no reply. "No," She said, "I think I'll keep her. You've got till tomorrow."

Unit Zero turned to leave when Unit Two rose up behind her and stabbed her in the back with her progressive knife. Unit Zero roared and dropped both Rei and Reika. Shinji rushed foreword and caught them in the palm of Unit Ones gigantic hands. Behind him he heard Unit Zero fall to the ground. Asuka roared and drove her knife deep into Unit Zero's chest and the blue cyclops went silent.

Shinji was gasping as he stared at Unit One's hands. Both Rei and Reika lay unconscious on her giant out stretched fingers. To his great relief Rei began to move. She slowly got to her feet and crossed the distance between her self and Reika. She seized the girl by the throat and began to strangle to her. Shinji leapt to his feet in horror, scrambled out of his entry plug and dashed over to them.

Shinji grabbed Rei forcefully by the shoulders, surprising her enough to cause her to release Reika. Rei's eye's shone with deep terrifying crimson hate. She growled and fought back against his grip trying to get free. Shinji however was stronger and his hold on her was too strong. Gradually and carefully he wrapped his arms around Rei and held her tightly as she struggled in vain against him. After several long moments a voice rang out in the silence. "Be free, child."

Slowly, very slowly Rei became still and stood silently in his arms. She seemed to be completely exhausted and fragile. He was afraid that if he let go she would crumble and collapse. The rain began to fall running down their bodies in little streams. Rei turned to look at him and for a minute Shinji thought she was crying until he realized that it was merely the rain running down her face causing that effect. Or was it?

"Rei?"

There was a long oppressive silence before Rei answered in a soft uncertain voice. "Hai, Ikari-kun?"

"Is it over?"

Rei shook her head. "No." She stated quietly but firmly.

For several seconds everything was still and all they could hear was Reika's ragged breathing. Shinji kept his arms around Rei, continuing to hold her tightly.

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**Author's Notes:**

Hello all. Sesshy here once again. Sorry I haven't updated recently. School has been a pain in a butt to say the least. . I'll try to keep updating as regularly as possible. I will not abandon it! .

Please Review, they are highly appriciated. I'll admit to being addicted to each and every one of them.

I don't own Eva!!! Nuf said.

And last of all, the teaser:

"_Dr. Akagi?" I asked, my voice coming out in a soft whisper in the large room._

_Dr. Akagi turned to face me a slight frown on her face. She was fidgeting slightly and her body was tense. Was I distracting her? "Yes, Rei? Make this quick I'm quite busy." She said irritably. _

_"Where is Reika? Her room is empty."_

_"She's dead." She snapped as if I should already know. _


	17. After Effects

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_**The Girl In White Bandages: The True Confessions of Ayanami Rei**_

_**Ch. 13 After Effects**_

_By Sesshy's Girl 00 _

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"Dr. Akagi?" I asked, my voice coming out in a soft whisper in the large room.

Dr. Akagi turned to face me a slight frown on her face. She was fidgeting slightly and her body was tense. Was I distracting her? "Yes, Rei? Make this quick I'm quite busy." She said irritably.

"Where is Reika? Her room is empty."

"She's dead." She snapped as if I should already know.

Dr. Akagi's blank expression never wavered when she said those words. Did she care? No, no one cared about me, expect for him. He was the only one who did.

I did not have to ask if there would be a funeral for my sister. There would be one but it would all be faked, as we were, a mock funeral for a mock creation. Her body was long gone by now, returned to LCL.

I swiftly and silently left the room not bothering to ask any more questions. There was nothing more to say.

--------------

Once Rei was gone Ritsuko let out a sighed and lit a cigarette. Placing it to her lips she breathed deeply inhaling the calming smoke she so greatly desired.

That girl was going to give her a heart attack one of these days if Gendo didn't do one of them in first.

Ritsuko took another lungful of air before she turned back to her report on the fourth child's death last night. As she worked her mind wandered over the events from two days ago that had ultimately done the unlucky girl in.

---------

From where she lay on the other side of Unit One's hand Reika moaned and tried to speak. Her voice was too soft and was carried away before I could hear what she had said however. I turned back to look Ikari-kun simply because I felt the need to see his face and know he was real. I had been trapped in there for so long.

A small painful smile crossed Ikari-kun's face. He seemed so unbelievably sad. Was I the cause of his suffering? I didn't want to be. I never desired to cause anyone pain, least to of all him. He had been nothing but kind and helpful to me.

Ikari-kun placed his hand against my cheek. "You look cold Ayanami."

I couldn't help the small smile that came to my lips. He was still worried about me. I had not been forgotten during the time I had been unconscious. It made me happy to know that at least someone had cared about me.

Ikari-kun shuttered and a tear escaped from his eye, rolling down his face. His arms tightened their grip around my body. "Rei..."

The way he said it, that single word held so much meaning and emotion. I, I loved the way he said my name. Ikari-kun made it sound as if my name belonged to someone special, unique and worthy of attention, of love.

The thought hit me; did Ikari-kun consider me worthy of his love, of being human?

I wanted him too, more then anything else I prayed he would.

Ikari-kun smiled at me as more tears fell from his eyes. I completely shifted my body so that I was facing him. Ikari-kun hugged me tightly and I was thankful he did. I needed his strength.

It felt so good to be pressed warmly against Ikari-kun. There I was warm and safe with him protecting me. I let my eyes closed a wave of relief and weakness crossed over me. Ikari-kun kept me up, supporting my weight in his arms.

I felt the air stir behind me but I couldn't bear to turn around. I already knew what it was there. Leliel was returning herself to physical form. She was coming to take her revenge for having lost. "Ikari-kun. We, We must go now."

"Ayanami? What is that?"

"The angel."

There was nothing more that needed to be said. Ikari-kun released his hold on me and hurried over to where Reika lay. He gently picked her up in his arms and returned to my side. Meanwhile I had stood frozen in horror, watching Leliel reform.

"Ayanami let's go."

I turned to see that Ikari-kun was standing beside me holding my arm. I quickly shook the frozen fear from my mind and followed him back to Unit One's entry plug. It was the only hope for survival. If not I was dead and so were the others.

Ikari-kun pushed me in ahead of him inside the door. I moved forward towards the pilot's seat and the door slammed shut behind me. The plug was plunged into pitch-black darkness. I stumbled foreword through it to the chair in the center.

A few moments later the lights came on as synchronization was established. I could feel the presence of Yui Ikari weighing heavily on my whole being. She was not happy that my presence was once more inside Unit One. She didn't protest my being here however, probably because Ikari-kun was with me.

Ikari-kun placed Reika in the chair and the two of us stood side by side behind it. He placed his hand over mine and squeezed it gently. I smiled back at him. It felt good to have Ikari-kun at my side.

Through Unit One's enhanced eyes I could see Leliel floating above her black Sea of Durac. It was a chilling image that sent shivers up my spine. I did not want her near me again. She was furious that I had gotten my freedom and the angel's disliked being defied. Leliel was going to come after me and try to take me back under her control. I knew it beyond doubt.

"Don't worry. I'm here."

I felt a small sense of relief at his words. Ikari-kun would be there for me, he had promised. I was so glad I had him to give me support. It meant the world to me.

Leliel rose up to her full power and set her black void after us. Ikari-kun directed Unit One effortlessly out of the way. I shook myself out of my daze and worked to help him move Unit One back to cover Unit Two.

The red unit was unresponsive and I believed that Pilot Sohryu was unconscious after taking down Unit Zero.

Despite our differences, I was glad she had done that. She had freed me from Leliel's grasp. I had been saved again by Pilot Sohryu's actions. It appeared that I would have to thank her once this was over.

We lifted the red unit in our arms and carried her away from the angel's reach. We stopped once we were well away to analyze the situation.

The angel was free to attack NERV, us or both. This had to be prevented. We could not let humanity be destroyed by Leliel. "What should we do, Ayanami?"

I set my jaw as I thought over the question in my head. An idea came to me from the recesses of my mind. Yes, this might work. "Ikari-kun. We need N-2 mines."

"Why?"

"We are going to blow the angel up." I explained quietly.

Ikari-kun blinked in surprise but then he seemed to understand. He opened up a link to NERV command. Both Major Katsuragi and the Commander's face appeared on the other end. "What?" Commander Ikari boomed.

"We need N-2 mines, now!"

"Why?" Demanded the Commander's hard voice.

"Ikari-kun and I wish to destroy the angel by blowing it up with N2 mines." I stated firmly.

The Commander nodded sharply and the link was cut off. A few minutes later I heard the deep rumble of one of the launch shafts rising to the surface. It rose above ground level and came to a stop with a click. The door opened to reveal a large number of N2 mines ready to be deployed. "What now, Ayanami?"

I composed my thoughts so that I could explain what we needed to do to him. "We must toss these into the angel's black void. When they explode, the angel will die."

Ikari-kun nodded at me to show that he understood.

We moved to the supply locker and gathered up as many N2 mines as possible in Unit One's arms. Then we advanced cautiously to where the angel waited. It was time we ended this fight before things got out of hand. The angel had to be stopped.

We went as close to the edge as possible before we stopped. Ikari-kun and I looked at each other, then back at the angel. The two of us started to count down in sync, 10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1, and 0. Then we threw the N2 mines with everything we had at the black void.

The mines began to sink into the black void the instant they touched it. We turned and ran without looking back. It was obvious what would happen next. Leliel would be blown to pieces and we needed to get out of the way. Otherwise we'd be taken out too.

We scrambled over the next ridge to where we had left Unit Two. There was only time for us to cover ourselves against the blast before the shock waves reached us. Something pressed me hard against the ground covering me completely. Someone was screaming but I couldn't tell whom. Everything was too distorted.

The violence ended and everything became quiet. I lay still feeling a heavy weight pinning me down. I tried to breathe, feeling a dizzying numbness that pervaded my body. Carefully I raised my head to look around. This did me little good, as there was nothing to see. Everything was dark and blacked out.

Reika lay beside me. Her face was still blank with unconsciousness. It appeared that the explosion had not disturbed her. Reika must have been badly injured by Unit Zero's rampage. Rest would probably be the best thing for her.

It took me several moments to locate Ikari-kun. He was lying on my back knocked out by a blow to the head. Ikari-kun was the reason I couldn't move.

I carefully reached down and to see that he was okay. A quick check showed that he was.

I gently shifted his weight so that I could slide his body off my own. Then I got to my feet and took the pilots chair. I persuaded the reluctant Unit One to move her feet. Once she was standing I could see everything around through her eyes. The force of the explosion flattened everything for a short distance around leaving a flat barren landscape behind.

I blinked trying to adjust my senses to the stillness. I looked around to assure that Leliel was really gone. There was no sign of her anywhere. A sense of relief washed over me, she was gone. Leliel was dead.

I heard Ikari-kun groan painfully as he began to stir. He stood up and gingerly made his way over to me. Ikari-kun placed his hand on my shoulder. "Is it over Ayanami?"

"Yes. The angel is dead."

Ikari-kun squeezed my shoulder and we both started to smile. It was all over. We could feel it. A video communication link opened to reveal the faces of Major Katsuragi and the Commander. "Return to NERV." Stated the commander's voice coldly.

"Great job guys." Major Katsuragi added.

She beamed happily at back. I could see the lines of relief and fatigue etched on her face. She tried to wave but stopped and winced in pain. "I'll see you when you return."

The link was disconnected and silence returned. I looked over at Ikari-kun and the two of us nodded wearily. Then we turned our gaze in the direction of NERV and we began the process of collecting the other two Eva's before heading to the nearest retrieval shaft.

Unit Two was in rough shape after the fight but Unit Zero was worse. Her arm was missing and her armor was damaged in several places. It appeared that I would not be piloting for some time. I was sad because I had only just come back from being unconscious.

An hour later all three Evas were secured in their cages. Ikari-kun and I listened to the reports coming in from NERV HQ as we waited for the recovery teams to let us out of the entry plug. Ikari-kun abruptly slammed the button and the voices died. I watched him in confusion, unsure of why he was so upset. He turned away from me and buried his head in his hands to cry.

"Ikari-kun. What's wrong? Why are you crying?"

"They made me do it. They made me kill him." He whispered hoarsely.

"Who?"

I did not understand. I had no memory of Ikari-kun injuring anyone recently.

"Touji, I killed him."

"Suzuhara-san?"

Suzuhara-san was killed? How? I didn't remember him being involved in the Eva battle. There was no was no way he would be dead, right?

"Fifth."

I turned sharply to glance at Reika but it looked like she hadn't moved. It sounded exactly like she had spoken, strange.

Wait, has she said fifth? Did that mean that Suzuhara-san was the fifth child? There was no way. I stood silently for several minutes letting the information sink in. It was all so unbelievable.

Beside me Ikari-kun went through several emotions during the course of a couple seconds. It ended with him curled in a ball sobbing. I gently placed my hand on his shoulder in an attempt to comfort him. "It is over. Suzuhara-san, you don't know that he's dead."

That much I knew to be true. I didn't remember anyone of the radio saying that the fifth child was dead. This made it highly probable that he was still alive.

Ikari-kun looked over at me, tears running down his face. "You weren't there, Ayanami. I crushed the entry plug with my own hand."

"No one said he was dead."

"You don't know that. I do."

Ikari-kun bowed his head as a fresh wave of tears began to roll down his face. He embraced me and buried his head in my shoulder. 'Tell me, Ayanami, please. Tell me it's going to be okay."

"Everything will be fine, Ikari-kun."

There was a squeak, as the door was pulled open. Light flooded in and after a moment I was able to make out the face of Major Katsuragi. She smiled when she saw us and quickly climbed inside the entry plug.

I heard her footsteps splashing across the LCL entry plug and the next thing I knew she was embracing us in a warm hug. I found myself being crushed between Ikari-kun and the Major's chest. It was discomforting to be in such a position.

"Where's Reika?"

I pointed directly to the spot where Reika lay unconscious in the ground. The Major's eyes became wide with fright and concern. "Ritsuko, get the medical team in here quick!"

The major released us and hurried over to Reika. She checked for a pulse and breath. She found what I already knew; Reika was alive, for now. She was weak and badly injured so it was possible that she wouldn't live for long.

The major straightened as the medical team rushed in with a stretcher. They gently lifted Reika from the LCL on the floor and placed her on the stretcher. Then they carried her out and she disappeared.

Major Katsuragi came back over to us and put her hands on our shoulders. "Come on guys. Ritsu will want to check you out before you can go home."

She led us out of the entry plug to Dr. Akagi, who was waiting for us below. The Doctor had her head bandaged and the lines on her face her unusually visible. She looked worn out and . . . old . . .? Her eyes focused on me as we approached. "Rei?"

There was a note of uncertainty and fear in her voice when she said my name. I nodded to her and met her gaze. Doctor Akagi sighed deeply and directed me towards a nurse who was standing off to the side. "Rei, I want you to go with her. Shinji come with me."

I gave Ikari-kun one last tentative smile before I turned and walked over to the nurse. She escorted me to one of the hospital rooms and left me with a hospital gown. I changed into it silently and efficiently. I was still somewhat bothered by Pilot Ikari's reaction. He looked so . . . so distraught. I kept seeing his face over and over in my mind. I wished that I had been better able to comfort him when he had been crying.

It wasn't long before Lt. Ibuki and Doctor Akagi came in to see me. They spent the rest of the day running me through a billion different tests to check both my physical and mental state. Sometime late that night they confirmed that I was now free of Leliel and had a clean bill of health. Before they released me I finally got up the courage to ask about Reika and Suzuhara-san.

Dr. Akagi told me that Reika had been completely depleted after her running thing they had had to sedate her and hook her up to a temporary respirator. Her condition was precarious and it wasn't clear what kind of shape she would be in if she survived.

Suzuhara-san was alive but also in rough shape after the battle. He had lost most of his left arm due to the damage it had received. Both of his legs and his chest were in a cast now as well. Despite the severity of his injuries Dr. Akagi seemed to think that he would make a full recovery.

After that she discharged me and I made my way to Reika's room. Inside I found Reika lying silently on the bed, dressed in a hospital gown and connected to multiple machines. I sat in the chair beside her bed, listening to the rhythmic beep of her heart monitor. It felt awkward but I knew she had been looking out for me when I had been unconscious so I felt it was my duty to be here for her. Gingerly I picked up her hand and cradled it in my own. "Don't worry, sister. I'm here for you."

It was different using that word but it seemed right because we were. She was . . . my family; more than Commander Ikari or anyone was to me. I adjusted the covers so they covered her better and squeezed her hand. I decided that I was going to look after her.

---------

The next morning Pilot Sohryu awoke me. "Morning, Wonder Girl. Welcome back."

I blinked sleepily in the bright morning light. Somehow my brain began to function and I managed to mumble something in reply. The sun was burning my eyes and I had to look away before I went blind. I would need to take my medication as soon as possible. "Late night?" She asked.

I nodded quickly. I had spent several hours sitting here before I had fallen a sleep. Pilot Sohryu seemed to know that before I ever spoke a word. She handed me a shirt and shorts. "Go take a shower and get yourself something to eat." She directed me.

I looked down at what she had handed me. It appeared that she had given me her clothes. I was amazed that she had so willingly given me something of hers. Why was she being so kind?

I turned to thank her but Pilot Sohryu was already gone, the door left open behind her.

It was then that I noticed that Reika was gone. She must have been taken off for tests of some sort I decided. Comforting myself with that, I shook my head and rose to my feet. Then I went off to find the nearest shower.

-----------

"Well, doctor Akagi. Tell me? What's the fourth's status?"

"I'm afraid her lungs were severely compromised by the running she did. I'm going to have to hook her up to a more permanent respiration system just to keep her alive. Putting her in an Eva is out of the question; the strain of piloting would most likely kill her. We should stop work on Unit Five. She'll never pilot again."

"I see. Then by all means halt construction on unit five imminently. Prepare to eliminate her tonight."

"Yes, sir."

---------

After my shower I went to the commissary to have breakfast. I hadn't realized how hungry I was at first but I could feel it now. Dr. Akagi had warned me last night that I would feel unusually hungry and weak for some time until my body became used to performing normal activities again. It would seem her prediction was correct.

When I left the line with my food I found my fellow pilots there, along with Class Representative Horaki-san and Aida-san. All four of them were usually sombre and intent on the food before them.

It was Aida-san who noticed me first. He smiled slightly when he saw me and called me over. "Ayanami-san. It's good to see you again. Come join us."

"Hai."

I sat down in the empty seat between Aida-san and Horaki-san. The others watched me take my seat and then returned to what they were doing. The solemn mood was even more apparent after I had joined them than before. I wondered if this meant that Reika and Suzuhara-san's prognosis' were worse then what I had been told.

"How are you feeling Ayanami?" Ikari-kun asked.

"I feel fine."

"That's good."

Aida-san turned to me before Ikari-kun or I could say more. "Does it feel good to be back?"

"Yes, it does."

Beside me Horaki-san looked at her watch and a panicked expression crossed her face. She rose sharply to her feet. "Suzuhara-san will be out of surgery soon. I should go back upstairs to wait on him." She explained quickly.

The others nodded and waved her off as she hurried out the door. I watched as her pigtails bounced around the corner behind her. It was only then that I remembered the fact she had feelings for Suzuhara-san. Apparently they were stronger then I realized.

Pilot Sohryu frowned with concern once Horaki-san was out of sight. She lifted her coffee cup to her lips and took a big gulp of the hot liquid. Then Pilot Sohryu began to gather up what was left of her breakfast. "I'm going after her. She shouldn't be alone."

Ikari-kun and Aida-san nodded in agreement and Pilot Sohryu went to catch up to Horaki-san.

With Pilot Sohryu gone an uneasy silence descended. None of us had the desire to talk. "Is something wrong?" I asked in an attempt to break the quiet.

"Touji and Reika needed some emergency surgery this morning and well, we're worried about them."

Both Reika and Suzuhara-san were being operated on. I hadn't expected to learn that over breakfast. I felt some of the other's sadness and concern begin to rub off on me.

"We'll go upstairs later, after we're all finished." Ikari-kun assured me.

Aida-san nodded and handed me a small CD. An eager smile spread across his face, forcing his worry to retreat to his eyes. "Watch this when you have time. I think you'll like it."

"Hai. Arigato Aida-san."

After breakfast the three of us went back upstairs to meet up with Pilot Sohryu and Horaki-san. We figured that they were in Suzuhara-san's room and we were right. They were sitting in folding chairs at his bedside.

Suzuhara was still unconscious from the surgery and was sleeping silently in his bed. I was both surprised and saddened by his condition. He looked worse then I expected him too, even after Doctor Akagi had described his injuries. Yet, he was still alive and he was fighting to remain that way. That gave me hope that he would be okay and his recovery would go as well as possible.

Horaki-san sat very quietly and still in her chair, gazing at Suzuhara, her expression full of sadness and joy. She was completely lost in her own world. Horaki-san leaned foreword and gently lifted Suzuhara-san's hand in her own. She mouthed something wordlessly and sighed.

Pilot Sohryu turned to us with an expression of mixed worry and concern. "Well, the rest of the stooges show up at last to see their fallen companion."

"Yes, we have. We never leave a comrade behind." Aida-san declared.

Aida-san's voice was almost too loud for the small room we were in and we all winced. There was a long awkward silence before any of us dared to say another word. Aida-san, Ikari-kun and I all found chairs and took seats with Pilot Sohryu and Horaki-san.

"Don't worry Hikari, Touji will be fine. You'll see." Pilot Sohryu insisted.

"I hope so." Horaki-san whispered.

Another pause took hold and Aida-san began to dig out his camera from his bag. He placed the camera to his eye and began to film us as we sat there. The distraction was enough to ease the tension in the room.

Suzuhara-san groaned painfully and his fingers began to move. Horaki-san's face brightened when she saw him stirring. She leaned over and brushed the hair from his face. Suzuhara-san's lips curled slightly at the gesture.

I had the feeling that they would want some privacy so I motioned the other's to follow me out of the room. At first none of them moved, then they seemed to catch on and they came quickly.

I lead the way up the stairs to the observation deck and let the others inside. I then followed them inside and made myself comfortable in one of the chairs. The other's followed my lead and took chairs of their own. Ikari-kun sat on one side while Aida-san was other. Pilot Sohryu took a chair on the other side of the room separated from the rest of us.

Pilot Sohryu sighed heavily as she took her chair, rubbing her temples slowly. "Should we go see if Wondergirl's sister is back yet?"

Ikari-kun and Aida-san nodded in response. There was a problem with that plan I realized. I turned my wrist over so that I could see the watch face. "When was Reika supposed to get out of surgery?"

"Noon, why?"

"Then we will have to wait for two hours. It is only ten."

We waited for the two hours until it was noon in relative comfort. Ikari-kun spent most of the time talking to Aida-san and me. Both were concerned about my wellbeing and glad to have me back after being in a coma for several weeks, Ikari-kun especially.

One the two hours were over we went down to Reika's room to see if she was back. Horaki-san and Suzuhara-san were engaged in a conversation now that the drugs had worn off.

We didn't find Reika when we went to check on her. The room was empty. After asking around we were told that Reika had been moved to a different room due to her critical condition. For some reason I didn't have a good feeling about what I had learned.

Ikari-kun took the lead and led us down to the room where we were told she was. However the door was locked and no one was allowed inside.

In defeat we made our way back to the observation deck were we had begun our journey. I felt uneasy that I had not been allowed to see Reika. Something in the back of my mind insisted that I should. I was concerned that something bad would happen to her if I weren't there.

"Ikari-kun?"

"Yes, Ayanami?"

I opened my mouth and tried to explain but no words came. I shook my head in frustration. There was no way I could explain something I didn't understand. It was simply impossible. We all sat around drinking tea trying to pass the time.

Ikari-kun put his hand on my shoulder and offered me a comforting smile. "It's okay Ayanami. Not everyone can explain themselves all the time but I'll always be here if you need me."

In the end we were forced to return home to our respective apartments.

I was utterly amazed when I arrived back at my apartment. It was completely different from when I had last seen it. Now there were several colourful objects on the dressing table, new sheets, curtains and other such items.

It took me several minutes to take it all in and adjust myself to my apartments' now look. Reika had been quite busy redecorating since she started living here. It then took me even more time to decide if I even like what Reika had done. I realized after I was able to bring myself back to reality that I did like the changes. It made my apartment look more hospitable and less like a jail cell. It made it a, home . . .

I slipped off my shoes and ventured into my apartment. I felt a strange sense of anticipation to see what she had done mix with my worry as to how she was doing.

I found even more new things in my bathroom; new towels, shampoo and make-up. She had bought make-up. Suddenly I hoped Reika would be joining me once she was better. I had no idea what to do with most of these things. It was foreign to me.

I shook my head and made my way back to my main room. It was late and if nothing else I should get a good night sleep while I could. I had the feeling that I would need it.

-----

In the morning I got of bed early and returned to NERV as the Commander had ordered me yesterday.

I met Pilot Sohryu in the locker room when I arrived. She looked to be in a better mood when I had last seen her yesterday. This meant that she was smiling and very talkative. Pilot Sohryu almost always spoke to me while we were alone in the locker room although it was rare that I would respond to her.

"Guten morgen, Wondergirl."

"Good morning, Pilot Sohryu."

Pilot Sohryu turned to look at me, mild shock evident on her face. "Mien Gott! You're speaking to me this morning."

I looked back at her and tried a small smile. The expression on Pilot Sohryu's face became even more horrified. I was unaware that my smiling was such a shocking event. I made a mental note to remember that fact.

"Are you okay? You're acting strange."

I nodded. "I feel fine."

Pilot Sohryu sighed and shook her head.

"Arigato, Pilot Sohryu."

Pilot Sohryu froze and very slowly raised her head to look at me. Her eyes were hard like she was trying to hold something back behind them. "What did you say?"

"Arigato, Pilot Sohryu."

Shock was evident across Pilot Sohryu's face. "Why?"

"You saved me and I am grateful for that."

Pilot Sohryu sighed once more and shook her head. "You are so weird, Wondergirl."

We turned our back and began the process of changing into our plug suits. It was routine by now for both of us and it did easily. "Did you know Hikari stayed with that baka all night?"

"Horaki-san stayed with Suzuhara?"

Pilot Sohryu nodded. "Yep. Is that insane or what?"

I had to think about that one for a moment before I was able to answer her. "It simply means she cares deeply."

Pilot Sohryu shook her head like she thought I was insane. Who knows, maybe I was?

The test went as expected, synchronization with Unit Zero went easily and my numbers were the same as before I was possessed by the angel.

After the test I saw Dr. Akagi hand Ikari-kun a note. He looked unsure for a moment but then took it. He tucked it in his hand and hurried out of sight.

Once I was finished changing I went to see Reika but I found her room completely empty. The feeling of apprehension I had been feeling since last night only increased when I saw her empty bed. Something was not right. I should go see Dr. Akagi.

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Ritsuko gazed around the empty room as she absentmindedly rested her hand on Unit One. 'What am I going to do?' She wondered.

There was only a little more then 24 hours before she had been ordered to terminate Reika. She knew that this time things would go perfectly. Reika wasn't even conscious and would not be able to resist. The others would believe she had left or been dismissed by Commander Ikari. No one would know she was dead until it was too late, if ever. 'Ritsuko It's been a while.' Said a cheery female voice.

Ritsuko straightened up, certain that she was imagining things. Yui Ikari couldn't have spoken to her though the Eva, right? Ritsuko had finally begun to relax, once again pondering what it meant to kill Reika, when she heard the voice again. 'Why are you so quiet, Ritsuko? Is it that you are distracted?'

'Yui?'

'Yes, that is my name. Now, let me ask you something, do you want to save Reika or not?'

'Yes.' Ritsuko replied after a long pause.

'Then use your mother's backdoor to loop the cameras so Gendo can't spy on you.'

'What? A backdoor?'

'You don't know about it? I was sure your mother would show you.'

'We didn't talk much before she died because we were both quite busy.'

'Take a closer look at the E5 terminal.'

'The E5 terminal?'

'Whatever else she was your mother was she was undoubtedly a genius.'

---

Ritsuko waited until the day crew had left before she allowed herself to think about what Unit One had told her. She didn't trust herself to do anything else. She feared that she might go crazy and do something stupid. There was also the risk that Gendo would spy on her and find out what she was doing.

Once she was sure everyone had gone home for the day Ritsuko finally allowed herself to relax. Gendo wouldn't be here until morning. He was trusting Ritsuko to take care of Reika. So there was no one to watch her.

Ritsuko began by accessing the data run from Reika's dummy pug. She hadn't noticed it until after the battle today, but there was a slight anomaly in it. Ritsuko wanted to see if this was related to the backdoor in the E5 terminal Yui had mentioned.

A file full of data opened on her laptop's screen. Ritsuko scrolled thought it unusually slowly being careful to make sure that she understood everything. When she reached the point where the anomaly had occurred Ritsuko stopped scrolling altogether and read intently.

Yes, it was the E5 terminal. Ritsuko sat back laughing in relief. It was so clear. She didn't know why she hadn't seen it before. It was well, amusing . . .

Ritsuko lifted her coffee mug from her desk and took a deep drink to steady herself. Now was not the time to go insane. She needed to remain calm and in control if she was going to be able to do anything. She'd be nothing but crazy if she did anything else.

Now was the hard question. Who did she hate more Gendo or Reika?

Ritsuko wasn't sure. Reika was no different then Rei. She was a fake and a clone made to look like Yui. That made her an abomination. On the other hand Reika was more human then the other Ayanami clones and willing to rebel. Reika was strong of spirit and completely different from Rei.

Reika was Gendo's enemy. By allowing her to live Ritsuko would be defying the supreme commander of NERV. Doing this would be the ultimate act of betrayal. Did she hate Gendo enough to go this far?

Ritsuko's hands tightened around her coffee mug.

'Mother? What should I do?'

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**Author's Notes:**

Once again Sesshy is here with yet another instalment. I hope you all enjoyed this previous chapter. I know that you all must be dying to know, would I be crazy enough to kill my own OC? Maybe.

Please Review, they are highly appriciated. I want more then three this time guys, please. C'mon. I know you have it in you. It's so easy, press the little purple button down there.

I don't own Eva!!! Nuf said.

Finally the teaser:

_Shinji took the note Ritsuko had given him and stuffed it deep in his pocket. This was all too weird. He knew it wasn't meant for him but he had the feeling he knew what it said. There just might be hope, if they all were lucky. _


	18. Saviors:Part One

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_**The Girl in White Bandages: The True Confessions of Ayanami Rei**_

_**Ch. 14 Saviours Part One**_

_By Sesshy's Girl 00_

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A sharp, persistent pain in my chest brought me rapidly back to consciousness. At first, I thought this was some sort of dream or I was in heaven. However, the unrelenting pain proved otherwise. I tried to move, in an effort to see what was going on but found it impossible. My body was too weak, like a great jelly blob or weighted down. It would not respond to my commands. All I could do was lay silently and listen as things moved on around me.

Gradually I became aware of the sound of a hospital bed moving through a hallway. It dawned on me that it was I who was moving or more correctly someone was moving me. Where? Why? What was going to happen now? I heard an elevator ding as it opened and I was rolled inside. It would seem that I would have my answers soon.

In the silence, I smelled smoke and stale coffee in the air. I recognized it immediately. There was only one person with that scent, Dr. Ritsuko Akagi. 'That was impossible,' I told myself. 'She would never help me. I was simply a freaky Yui look alike to her.' There was nothing else to it. Yet that was the only explanation for what I knew to be fact.

There was one option; Ritsuko was going to kill me. However, that did not make sense to me, why would she wake me up for that? There was no reason for her to do that. It would be easier to eliminate me if I were unconscious. My being awake would only make it that much more difficult, she had to know that I would fight back, even if the attempt was futile. She must know that I did not want to die. She would have to be a blind fool not to to see that.

Which all added up to one thing. Ritsuko Akagi, the woman I thought hated me, was about to save my life. I was completely stunned and amazed. When had she started being on my side? This was an odd idea to try to get my mind around. For the rest of my trip, to wherever Ritsuko was taking me, I lay pondering what Ritsuko was thinking.

-------

Ritsuko took a deep breath and rose to her feet, causing her computer chair to creak in annoyance. One way or another, it was time to act. Her time was limited and if she didn't do something now, she was sure to be in trouble. Gendo would know if she hadn't terminated the subject. **He** wanted Reika dead and there would be hell to pay if she wasn't.

Ritsuko made her way down the hall to where Reika's room was. She stopped when she reached the door, her hand hesitating on the handle. Ritsuko knew the girl was sleeping on the other side, drugged and unconscious from the severity of her injuries. Reika would be powerless to resist. That knowledge was quietly terrifying; Ritsuko had full control over the course of another's existence.

Ritsuko reached into her pocket and pulled out her key card. She swiped it through the scanner. It flashed green and she heard the lock click. Ritsuko took the handle and opened the door with a calm face. A cold burst of air hit her as she stepped inside.

As expected, Reika lay silently in the center of the room, on her bed. One of her arms lay lax across her stomach, connected to her I.V. bag and the other lay next to her on the bed. The sound of Reika's ragged breathing and the beep of her heart monitor were the only noises to be heard. The rest of the place was eerily still.

Ignoring the strangeness, Ritsuko walked past Reika and made her way over to the medicine cabinets on the far side of the room. She opened the doors wide and began to run her gaze across the names of the chemical concoctions contained with in. After all her years of training, Ritsuko knew all of the drug's names by heart. She could have done this in her sleep. Ritsuko was reading them because she needed a few more moments to think before she made her choice.

Ritsuko's hand stopped on top of one of the bottles. She read the name over in her head and knew that her choice had been made. She would be saving Reika's life by what she did this night. Gendo had won the award for her greatest hate in life and Ritsuko was off her rocker. That was the only reason for her to do this.

Ritsuko took the vile and a fresh syringe from the cabinets and closed the doors firmly. She drew the appropriate amount of liquid and approached the sleeping Reika. She swabbed her arm and injected the chemical concoction into Reika's body. Ritsuko sighed as she put her things away, for once grateful for Gendo's lack of understanding of the technology behind what it took to run this place. He only knew how to run things and tell others what to do.

Ritsuko turned off the light and rolled Reika out of the room. She directed the rolling bed down the hall to the elevators. Once inside she entered the floor number for central dogma where the Rei creation equipment lay.

Ritsuko stood stiffly, trying to control the raging surge of emotions she felt, as the elevator descended downward. She couldn't believe she was doing this. Ritsuko was defying Gendo and NERV. _Mother, forgive me but I could not kill her. I couldn't kill Reika. She, she is…_

The elevator stopped and the door opened. Ritsuko pushed the bed out into the hallway. A few turns later and she was back in the room where the Reiquaruim was held. Ritsuko pushed Reika into the center of the room and closed the door behind them.

Ritsuko went over to the control console and began to enter the familiar sequence of numbers for the termination code. If she was truly going to do this, she needed to make it look good. The code entered perfectly and the machine began to set. Ritsuko rose back to her feet and walked back over to Reika's bed.

Ritsuko methodically stripped Reika of her hospital gown and carried her over to the tube in her arms. Reika offered no resistance to Ritsuko's actions. She seemed to have lost all of her strength. Ritsuko placed Reika in the restraints, in the center of the tube. Reika's head rolled to the side and drooped sadly against her chest. Ritsuko took a deep breath, stepped out of the tube and closed it securely. The tube began to fill with LCL instantly. Ritsuko watched anxiously and didn't allow herself to breathe until the whole thing was full. Now all she had to do was wait for Reika to do her thing and go through the E5 terminal. Ritsuko knew the girl could do it, she had seen the proof.

After several tense moments Reika's hand touched the glass. "Doctor, it's done." She whispered in a hoarse voice.

Reika covered her mouth and started coughing hard. Ritsuko sighed and turned back to the control panel behind her. The tightness in her chest decreased considerably now that she knew she was in control. Reika had rigged the entire system so that none of this would be recorded.

"Thank-you, Ritsuko-san."

There was calmness in Reika's voice as if she knew that nothing was going to happen to her. Her hand fell slowly from the glass, an indicator that she did have the strength to hold it up. There was a soft sigh in the LCL as a she released a stream of air bubbles.

Ritsuko turned around, a hint of her bewilderment showing on her face. "How did you know?"

"There was no reason to wake me up if you were going to kill me." Reika stated in a matter-of-fact voice.

There was a soft note of amusement in Reika's voice. Ritsuko frowned as second doubt crossed her mind. She couldn't believe the way Reika had seen through her so easily. _No I can't back out now. There's too much at stake. I must finish what I have begun. Mother, please protect me._

"There is a holding area under your feet. It's how the LCL enters the tube. If I open the floor you will descend there and can remain submerged in LCL until I can get you out of here. I'll keep the LCL medicated so you won't have to worry about a anything."

Ritsuko stopped herself from talking because she could tell she was babbling. There was no point in making herself look like an idiot right now. Certainly not in front of her.

Reika nodded slowly, causing her blue hair to float in the liquid. Ritsuko nodded back, knowing she had gotten all the response she needed. She walked back over and entered the code into the console. It began to whirl and Reika slowly sank into the floor and disappeared.

Once she was sure that Reika was gone, Ritsuko turned off the lights and left the room. She made her way back up stairs to her office. To be honest with herself; Ritsuko didn't want to go back there; a two-ton mountain of paper work and a stale cup of coffee was all that awaited her there.

That was not where she wanted to be.

When she reached her desk, Ritsuko already had the next step in her plan, to save Reika, forming in her mind. She would need to write a letter and get it into the hands of someone outside of Nerv supervision. Ritsuko also wanted someone who could properly care for Reika. The girl's body was extremely fragile and required special care.

The question was who? Who would be able to do all of that?

She sat in her chair, starring blankly at her computer screen while she tried to come up with a good candidate who fit her profile.

The first name that came into her mind was Kaji Ryohji but Ritsuko quickly dismissed him. For one thing, he was currently of in Kyoto, doing spy work for Gendo. Ritsuko's other problem, with the triple agent; he was not trusted. Gendo believed that Kaji loyalty wasn't to NERV and had him on constant surveillance. It would be to easy for NERV's supreme commander to learn if Kaji was hiding Reika.

In a flash the names Kodama Horaki and Sana Aida, appeared in her mind.

Kodama Horaki and Sana Aida would be good options Ritsuko realized. They were related to classmates of the pilots. They also had experience with caring for those who were sick and injured. Kodama was a doctor and Sana was a nurse, both through the local Tokyo III hospital. It would be easy to arrange details and the only problem would be if they would accept or not.

Ritsuko shrugged. There was only one way to know for sure. She would have to ask them herself, though a method the Gendo couldn't track. The easiest way would be to contact them in person but Section 2 could trace that much too easily. Email and mailed letters could also be tracked. However if she wrote a letter and gave it to someone she knew would pass it on, she might have a chance after all.

Ritsuko set to work with what she had to do. She quickly typed up the letter and then printed it out. She deleted all evidence of the letter, making it untraceable. Then she folded it up and placed it in her pocket. She would need to give this to the Third Child when she saw him for his sync test in the morning. Once again, hope was being placed on the skinny shoulders of Shinji Ikari.

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The next morning when the pilots arrived at NERV, Ritsuko ran them through the battery of tests she had scheduled for them, like every other day. Things went smoothly, as she had figured they would. The only problem was that Ritsuko did not yet have a way to give her letter to the Shinji. As Ritsuko was finishing up she overheard another argument between the pilots.

"I wish Dr. Akagi would tell us when these tests are before hand so we know what to expect. Sheeesh. It's like she wants to torment us with unpredictability." Asuka ranted.

The Second Child angrily slammed her fist against the hand rest of the pilot's chair. Shinji nodded meekly in agreement. "I'd like to have a longer list too. It would make it easier to plan out my day."

In a flash Ritsuko knew how to get the letter to Shinji. She could disguise it as a list of upcoming sync tests. It was simple and efficient. Ritsuko nodded to herself and made her way down stairs to see the pilots. She read off their results as usual and then walked over to Shinji. She pulled the letter from her pocket and handed it to him

"The extended list of upcoming sync tests that you were wanting." She explained with a calm smile.

Shinji looked surprised and his face displayed open confusion for a moment. He went to open the letter but Ritsuko put her hand on top of his. Shinji stopped and looked at her. He started to speak but Ritsuko silenced him with a shake of her head. "I would take that to your friends, if I were you." She hissed softly.

Ritsuko turned and walked off before Shinji could question her further. She waited a short distance off where she could see Shinji and watch what he did. Shinji looked from Ritsuko to the letter for several minutes. At last comprehension dawned on his face. He took the letter, quickly thanked Ritsuko and walked off for the locker rooms without another word.

Ritsuko sighed in relief, as she watched him go. He had understood her meaning, when she had given him the letter. Hopefully, he would be able to get it to Hikari or Kensuke for her. Then all that mattered was that nothing was detected during the transportation and reply to the letter.

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Shinji took the note Ritsuko had given him and stuffed it deep in his pocket. This was all too weird. He knew it wasn't meant for him. That had been made abundantly clear by the way Ritsuko had handed it to him. All the same, he had the feeling he knew what it said. There just might be hope, if they all were lucky.

After he finished changing, Shinji made his way up to Touji's room to see Hikari, Kensuke and Touji. He knew they were the ones the letter was meant for. Although, he wasn't quite sure what the letter would have to do with them, his instincts insisted that it did.

When he arrived at the fifth child's room, Shinji found Kensuke trying to film Touji's 'battle wounds' while Hikari and a nurse changed his bandages. Touji did not seem to appreciate having his battered body recorded by Kensuke's camera and was throwing a fit. This made it hard for Hikari and the nurse to work and they were continually fighting to keep him still.

Shinji just shook her head and he struggled not to start laughing at the four of them. It would seem like things were getting back to normal. Except, when had things ever been normal since his arrival in Tokyo III? Never and that was the problem. He had no idea what normal was supposed to be. Still he liked things this way.

As Shinji stood in the doorway watching his friends, Touji noticed him. "Hey! Shinji-man. Get over here and kick this mad otaku out of the room!" Touji pleaded.

Kensuke let a crooked, crazy smile cross his face, clearly wanting to prove his insanity. "Yep, I'm a mad otaku and no one can stop me!" He declared.

Hikari grabbed Touji by his arm in an effort to stop him from moving. "Suzuhara if you don't stop moving, we can't finish."

Touji made another desperate, furious attack at Kensuke in an effort to take the camera and nearly fell out of bed. It was only Hikari's quick reaction that saved him. "I don't care. Take that blasted camera away from him. He's mad I tell you, mad!"

Kensuke just smiled as he watched things unfold through his camera lens. "If you really want Touji to hold still you should kiss him." He suggested to Hikari.

Both Touji and Hikari turned bright red at the idea, and then turned away from the other. "No way!" They cried in unison.

Kensuke shrugged and went back to filming, regardless of what Touji wanted. To him this was too good of an opportunity to pass up. Besides, blackmailing Touji would be awesome. Kensuke was going to have the time of his life with this.

Once the job was done and the nurse had left, things finally began to quiet down. Touji lay back on his bed and closed his eyes for a long time. He looked pale and worn out after all the expended effort of fighting against Hikari and the nurse, to get to Kensuke. Hikari sat next to him, her hand resting on top of his. Kensuke meanwhile had put away his camera and sat down in a chair. Shinji thought that Kensuke looked a little too pleased with himself.

"Shinji why don't you come home with me tonight, or do you have something else to do?" Kensuke asked suddenly.

"No, nothing I can think of." Shinji replied uncertainly, after a moment.

"Good then you're coming with us." Kensuke declared.

"Why?"

Kensuke grinned and leaned over to whisper in Shinji's ear. "The Class Rep and I got Touji a special present for his birthday. We need you and the German fireball to help us wrap it. …On second thought you can ask Rei too, if you want."

Shinji nodded, curious as to what Hikari and Kensuke bought for Touji. He had forgotten to buy his gift for Touji so at least he had something to give his friend now. Not wanting to miss out on all the fun, Shinji happily agreed and went to go find Asuka and Rei, to see if they could join them.

He decided that it would be best if he checked with Misato first to see if it would be okay. He found the harried purpled haired major in her office, or rather, what was left of her office. When he arrived, It had been completely torn apart and random items were spilling out into the hallway in all directions. Misato stood at the middle of the mess throwing things from one side to another.

"Where is that damn report? Gah! Why can't he ever ask for something that's easy to find?" She cried in irritation.

Shinji took a deep breath and raised his voice so that he knew she would hear him, "Misato?"

Misato turned to face him for the first time. She smiled faintly when she saw who it was. "Hi Shinji. What's up? Do you need something?"

"I, I was wondering if Asuka and I could go over to Kensuke's place tonight."

Misato nodded and turned back to what she was doing. "Sure, go right ahead. I won't be home until late so feel free to take your time!"

Shinji shook his head at the Major; he wondered if she even knew what she was talking about. Probably not. "Okay! See you tomorrow then."

"Bye, Shinji, have fun!"

Shinji sighed as he turned and made his way down the hall. Well, at least he had gotten permission first, but considering the state Misato was in, he didn't know what good it would do. She would probably call Kensuke's house in a panic later tonight; wondering where he was and he would have to explain that they had discussed it that afternoon.

"I'm at Kensuke's place, remember?" This will be such a hassle.

With the first part of his mission complete, Shinji entered phase two; find Asuka and Rei.

Shinji found Asuka first, freshly showered and coming out of the girl's locker room. Her reddish brown hair was tied back in a ponytail and she was dressed in a comfortable pair of green sweats. "There you are, baka Shinji. Let's go home; I'm sick of this place. Where's Misato?"

"Auska she's not coming home tonight. Hikari and Kensuke want us to join them. Are you going to come?"

Asuka's blue eyes brightened when she heard what Shinji said. "Sure. What are we waiting for? Let's go meet them in the Stooge's room."

She tried to grab Shinji's wrist but he shook her off. "I have to go do something first. I'll meet you guys down there in a little bit, okay?"

Asuka glared at him suspiciously. "What are you talking about Third Child? What are you planning?"

"Nothing. Nothing at all. I, I promise I won't take long, okay?"

Asuka sighed in resignation and a frown overtook her face. "Whatever you say, Third."

With that she turned and walked off in the direction of Touji's room. Shinji sighed in relief as he watched her go. He was surprised that she took that so well. He was sure she would flay him for not answering her question. Shinji knew that he had to keep his mouth shut for now. He wasn't so sure that Asuka would be happy if she learned that Rei had been invited too. The last thing he wanted was Asuka angryover that.

Finding Rei proved to be a difficult task for Shinji. She was not in the pilot's lounge, the exercise area, with his father or anywhere else Shinji could think of. Finally, he decided to check the cafeteria. When he walked in he knew he was right this time.

Rei sat alone at one of the many tables that occupied the room. She had no food in front of her and her eyes were staring blankly at the wall. Shinji could tell by her glazed expression that she wasn't seeing anything around her. Rei must be completely distracted because she also wasn't even moving. This struck Shinji as odd; Rei always seemed to have something to do. So to see her sitting so rigidly with that forlorn look in her eyes was unsettling. Had something happened to her? Shinji had a bad feeling that it wasn't good.

Shinji carefully approached her and placed his hand on her arm. Rei turned to look at him and her eyes said everything. She was troubled inside. "Are you okay Ayanami?"

Rei tried to speak several times without success. She shook her head indecisively and gazed down at the floor. Rei bit her lip as she struggled to explain herself. "She is dead. Reika is gone." Rei whispered softly.

Shinji had to blink twice to assure himself that he had heard correctly. Had Rei really said that Reika was dead? If the look on Rei's face was anything to go by, then it would seem that it was true. Shinji's mind was stunned by the thought. Reika never seemed like someone who would die so suddenly. Then Shinji recalled the most recent Eva-Angel battle. In his mind, he could see Reika running desperately in an attempt to save Rei's life. There was only one explanation; Reika must have succumbed to her injuries. Poor Ayanami, she was all alone again…

Shinji sat down next to her and lifted Rei's hand into his own. Rei's eyes didn't move but at least he had her attention now. Shinji liked that she had something on her face other than the blankness he'd seen earlier. "Do you want to talk, Ayanami? I'm here if you need me."

Rei shook her head slowly and closed her eyes. For an awful moment Shinji thought she was going to pass out or be sick. Instead she rested her head against his shoulder and shuttered. "Ikari-kun, I don't know what I should do." Rei murmured helplessly.

Shinji was caught off guardby Rei's request. "Does it hurt?"

Rei nodded weakly. A single tear escaped her eyes, which Rei swiftly wiped away. "I don't know what to say. I barely knew her, yet, she was my family…"

Shinji wrapped his arms around arm her. "If you want to cry, you can have my shoulder any time."

Rei wrapped her arms around Shinji's waist and cried quietly for several minutes. Shinji held her silently while she released her tears on his shoulder. Rei seemed so fragile and unlike herself. Shinji was extremely worried that everything wasn't all right and he felt sympathy for her loss.

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I was so afraid. More afraid then I had ever been in my life, even when facing the angels. That was nothing when compared to the dread I felt now.

It hadn't dawned on me until after I had left Doctor Akagi's office. Now however it controlled me completely. It was that fact that I was in danger. If Reika could be eliminated so easily, could I be as well? Would her fate be my fate?

No, no, no. I couldn't end up that way. I did not want to die for nothing. I refused to surrender to that fate. I did not want to go down easily.

Of course they would say that Reika had died to save me from Leliel. I knew however that it wasn't that truth. She had died because I had been weak. I had given way to Leliel's power. What she had died for was to cover up for my mistakes. It was my fault she was gone. I had killed my own sister…

What did that make me?

I was weak and useless…

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Shinji gently rubbed Rei's back until she began to calm down. He was glad when Rei looked up at him with puffy, red eyes because he could still see her strength in them. The pain she felt had shaken it but it was still there. Shinji was surprised that something had shaken Rei up so badly that she cried. He couldn't remember seeing Rei so upset before. "Ayanami? Are you okay?"

Rei took a deep breath and spoke in a shaky voice. "She's dead. It…it's my fault."

At first Shinji was confused. He couldn't remember Rei doing anything to purposely harm anyone. Then a sad thought dawned on him. Rei must be blaming herself for Reika's untimely demise. Shinji wished she wouldn't do it. He knew that Rei had never intentionally harmed her twin sister. Reika's injuries had been her own doing, a consequence of her heroic effort to save Rei. She had been the one who pushed her body to that point.

"Rei, you think you are responsible for Reika's death?"

Rei nodded slowly and closed her eyes with a sigh. Shinji gave her hand a comforting squeeze. Poor Ayanami had lost the only family she would ever have and was blaming herself for it. No wonder she was so sad. Shinji feared that she felt even more lost and alone then before. He wondered if he could convince his father to give Rei a better apartment that wasn't so far away, or allow her to move into Misato's with him and Asuka. The last thing he wanted was for Rei to be left alone and ignored. Now, more then ever before, Ayanami needed to be comforted.

"Ayanami would you be willing to move into Misato's? We have room for you."

Rei shook her head. "I'm afraid I cannot."

"Why?"

----------

I thought hard, trying to come up with a reason to explain why I had been assigned to the apartment I now lived in. If I had said something wrong the Commander would be mad and punish me for disobedience. I had not liked my punishment last time and I was not eager to repeat the experience anytime soon. Adam had frightening power despite the fact he was an embryo. I shuttered to think of what he would do once he'd developed more.

The only thing that scared me more was the man that controlled him. The Commander had incredible powers to make people do what he wanted. He-he had an amazing iron clad fist. There was no telling what he would do to me. It would only go against me if I were to defy his rule. No matter what happened, what I wanted; I had to do his bidding. There was no way around it. "Your father has said so." I whispered, the only explanation I could come up with.

Ikari-kun frowned doubtfully and stared searchingly into my eyes. I wished I could tell him all the things I wanted to say. However I wanted to keep Ikari-kun safe from his father's plans; safe from the danger I was in. I didn't know if that was possible but I intended to try my best. It was the hope I held onto, Ikari-kun's security.

"Rei, stop listening to what my father wants you to do. It's not fair to you. You should be free to do what you want. Listening to my father, it's, it's stupid of you. You're too good for that."

Inside I agreed with what Ikari-kun said but on the other hand I remembered Commander Ikari's power. I refused to become a victim of it. There was only one assured, way to do that. Give up, because he would gladly tear you in two. I knew nothing else to do…. But I sincerely wished I did…

Ikari-kun suddenly wrapped me in a hug. I was so shocked that I could only stared straight ahead stupidly. Ikari-kun shuttered and placed his head on my shoulder. I felt my sleeve becoming warm and wet. Ikari-kun was… "I'm sorry Ayanami. I didn't mean to upset you more."

I shook my head and carefully turned to face Ikari-kun. Slowly he raised his head to look back at me. He smiled slightly and gently brushed the hair from my face. Ikari-kun got to his feet and held his hand out to me. I took it, allowing him to help me to my feet next. "I thought of something that will cheer you up. Hikari and Kensuke need help with Touji's birthday present. Asuka and I were going over to Kensuke's to give them a hand. Do you want to come too?"

I nodded as the hint of a smile tugged at the edge of my lips. Ikari-kun smiled in relief and I watched as the tension visibly was released from his body. It helped my state of mind to know that I had eased his worries. Ikari-kun took my hand in his and led me out of the cafeteria. We walked quietly, side by side, down the corridors of NERV. After a moment I knew exactly where we were going to go, Suzuhara-san's room.

When we arrived there a few minutes later Horaki-san, Pilot Sohryu and Aida-san were already there. They were talking about something so they didn't notice Ikari-kun and I entering. Ikari-kun took my hand and led me inside. I found myself smiling, knowing that Ikari-kun was there.

"Ayanami"

I turned to see Aida-san pointing his ever-present video camera at me, while he grinned broadly. I smiled slightly at the camera. Aida-san gave me a thumbs up in response. "So are you coming with us too?"

"Hai, Aida-san."

"Yeah!"

Pilot Sohryu looked over to me, from the corner where she'd been talking with Horaki-san, with a frown. I met her gaze with a calm but determined look of my own. To my surprise she sighed slightly and turned back to Hikari without a word. It was weird not to be insulted by her but on the other hand I was glad not to hear it.

Kensuke meanwhile was putting his video camera away for once. He excused himself and stepped outside with a cell phone in his hand. Ikari-kun squeezed my hand to get my attention. I turned to look at him. "Take a seat, I'll explain."

Ikari-kun motioned to the one unused folding chair in the room. I sat down and Ikari-kun knelt down next to me. "Touji's 15th birthday is tomorrow. Hikari and Kensuke bought him presents, which are at Kensuke's. We're all going over to wrap them up and make sure everything is ready for Touji's party." Ikari-kun whispered.

I nodded to show that I understood. Ikari-kun smiled and nodded back before rising to his feet. Just then Kensuke came back in. "Sana will be here in ten minutes!" He announced loudly.

"Good. I could use some rest from all of you insane weirdoes." Touji grumbled.

Asuka smirked and poked Touji in the side. "You know we all love you stooge."

Touji sighed. "Whatever you say demon lady."

We hung around talking about various things while we waited for Sana to arrive to pick us up. Touji was in a much better mood once everyone else left his injuries alone. He didn't seem to like having attention focused on them at all. I understood his reason for wanting his missing leg to be ignored. When I was injured I had not appreciated having my wounds messed with.

Sana and Mina arrived after fifteen minutes. When she saw how many of us were coming, she seemed slightly surprised. Then she smiled and told us to hurry up.

"Good night, Suzuhara. We'll see you tomorrow." Hikari called before she left.

Touji smiled and waved at us with his remaining hand. Hikari waved back and smiled.

There was a sense of excitement and anticipation in the air as we followed Sana to her car. Ikari-kun stayed close to me with a smile on his face. His good mood began to rub off on me and I felt my own spirits lift by being in his presence. Ikari-kun's presence caused me feel to feel a sense of safety and peace.

When we arrived at the parking lot, it was to find a minivan waiting for us. That was a welcome occurrence. Sana's red car would not have been able to transport all of us. Sana pulled out her keys, unlocked it and opened the doors for us. Kensuke sat in the front passenger seat next to Sana. Pilot Sohryu and Horaki-san sat in the middle. In the back Ikari-kun and I sat with Mina between us in her car seat.

Mina remembered me from when I had spent the night at the Aida residence. Unlike last time she liked me and seemed comfortable around me. I let her play around with my hair and examine me. She seemed fascinated by blue hair and red eyes. I explained toher that I was born looking the way I did. "That is not the color." Mina replied.

"For some people, it is."

I did not want to launch into an explanation of albinism. She wouldn't be able to understand what I was saying. She only needed to know that I was not so abnormal. Nothing else was important. Well, that was my opinion on the subject anyway. I wanted people to see me for who I am, not what I was.

Mina happily accepted my explanation but declared that I was still different. From the front seat Sana warned Mina not to be rude. I assured Sana that I was not offended by Mina's comment. I was actually embarrassed but pleased that someone thought I was unique. The Commander and Dr. Akagi never said that to me. Ikari-kun and now Mina were the only ones.

When we arrived at the Aida apartment Pilot Sohryu, Aida-san and Horaki-san were all eager to get upstairs. However Mina wanted to remain with me and we were forced to wait on her. Sana and I unbuckled her from the car seat. Then I helped her up the stairs after the others. Sana came up the stairs behind me carrying a heavy bag of groceries in her arms.

Aida-san and Ikari-kun met us at the top of the stairs. They seized Mina and me, and then pulled us into Aida-san's room. Inside I saw Horaki-san and Pilot Sohryu waiting for us. In front of them sat Suzuhara-san's present, a set of tough plastic stairs, new crutches and a book.

"We wanted to give Suzuhara something useful." Horaki-san explained.

I took a second look at Suzuhara-san's presents and I had to agree that they would come in handy. The stairs and crutches would help him move about. The book would give him something to do while he recovered. Hopefully he would appreciate the thoughtfulness behind them.

**------------------------------------------------------------------**

**Author's Notes:**

Hello everyone. I'm back at last. You guys are probably furious that I left you hanging for so long. hands out tray of cookiesSorry this chapter took so long, school has been a pain in the rear. I'll try to stay ontop of my writting from now on. We'll see, right?

This chapter is dedicated to my puppy Autumn, who we had to put to sleep on 2/19/07. We-meaning my family and I-were saviors to her. I like to think that Autumn was eternally greatful to us for that. She was a sweet heart and an angel until the end. May she rest in peace.

Anyhow, enough of my ramblings. Now is the part when you come in, dear readers. Please, please,please review, they are highly appriciated and I love all of them. Even the flames are meaningful to me.

Last of all, I don't own Eva!!! Nuf said.


	19. Saviors: Part Two

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_**The Girl in White Bandages: The True Confessions of Ayanami Rei**_

_**Ch. 15 Saviours, Part Two **_

_By Sesshy's Girl 00_

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Commander Ikari smiled as a weary Ritsuko entered his office. The room was kept especially dark-the way he liked it, with the only light shining though the Kabbalah Tree of Sephiroth that decorated his office floor. Commander Ikari waited until Ritsuko stopped, standing on top of the glowing image of the Tree of Sephiroth, before he spoke. "I just received a report from our Russian allies. Unit Six is complete and will be sent to us by the end of the month. We must choose a pilot for her."

"The Russian's aren't providing one of their own? I thought that was part of the deal." Ritsuko replied, a mild note of confusion in her voice.

"It was but after the incidents with Units Three and Four; the Russian's are eager to hand Unit Six over to us and wash their hands of it."

Ritsuko made a small face of disgust. "I don't blame them. The Evangelions are not something to take lightly. They are weapons of chaos and destruction, as Yui and my mother designed them to be."

Gendo smiled slightly at Ritsuko's words. "How true you are. Have you received the information on Unit Six from them? We'll need to know so we may select a pilot."

"I received it this morning. From the comparison's I've made, I believe we have a candidate for Unit Six, Kensuke Aida."

"Kensuke Aida, you say. See to it, Doctor. Will you be able to test him?"

"Yes, the simulation program is ready to implement. It only works on Unit Zero currently. I should be able to run it in two days. "

"Excellent. Make it so."

--

"There is one more thing we wanted to give Touji." Horaki-san explained. "His sister Yukari is in the hospital too. She's been sick for a long time, Touji used to visit her regularly but he hasn't seen her since the last battle…"

An enthusiastic Aida-san interrupted Horaki-san before she could say anything more. "Ayanami-san, we would like you to arrange for Yukari to be brought down to see Touji for the day. It would mean a lot to him."

I nodded, a plan beginning to form in my mind. "Hai. I do not think that would be a problem."

"Thanks a lot." Aida-san cheered.

"Kensuke Itaru Aida!" Cried the accusing voice of Sana from the living room.

Everyone's eyes focused on the person in question. Sana did not sound happy at all, so we wondered what Aida-san had done to upset her. With a small frown on his face, Aida-san took the lead as we marched down the hallway to see what was wrong. We found Sana sitting in front of the computer. Her eyes were glaring at the name of one of the unopened e-mails on the screen.

When she saw us arrive, she pointed gravely at the name of the sender. "What have you done, Kensuke. NERV's…after you…" She uttered in a hoarse whisper.

A feeling of surprise and horror griped us all. I leaned over and read the address of the sender for myself. It was Doctor Akagi's; she'd sent this email. I wondered to myself what NERV would want with Aida-san. He did not fit the profile of someone involved in the kinds of things that went on there. Unless; Aida-san's penchant for hacking in his spare time had drawn unwanted attention.

With a painful sadness, I remembered that everyone in my class was an A-ranked candidate to pilot Eva. They would be called upon if a new Eva was completed or one of the current pilots was no longer able to fulfill their duties. I wasn't aware of either such events occurring but it was possible that another Eva, most likely Unit Six, had been completed. That meant only one thing; the Commander would want to test it now to assess its usefulness.

"Ayanami. Does this mean…?" Stammered Aida-san beside me.

"Hai?"

"Am I going to be the sixth child?"

The mix of excitement and apprehension in Aida-san's voice struck me. This was something he wanted badly, but he'd seen what it cost Ikari-kun and Suzuhara-san. I was amazed that he was still so unafraid. "Possibly."

"No way." Insisted Pilot Sohryu.

We all turned to look at her and it was plain from the expression on her face that she didn't believe her words. Horaki-san looked quite appalled and on the verge of tears. Pilot Sohryu turned away from our eyes and placed her hand on Horaki-san's shoulder. "Don't worry Hikari. Just because both Shinji and Touji are all messed up from piloting doesn't mean Kensuke will be. There's no way all three stooges will end up the same."

"You think so?"

Pilot Sohryu smiled confidently. "I know so. Now let's read this e-mail before everyone around here starts crying."

We all happily accepted that proposal. Sana turned around and clicked on the much stressed over e-mail icon. The message appeared on the screen a moment later.

_Dear Mr. Keiji Aida,_

_I am Dr. Ritsuko Akagi, director of Project E and the head scientist at NERV. I wish to request permission to evaluate your son Kensuke Aida at NERV HQ as part of a test I'm running. If he passes, your security clearance will be raised to SPEACIAL ACESS REQUIRED and, of course, Kensuke will have to take a security oath as well._

_If you agree, I have scheduled an appointment for Wednesday morning at 10:30 AM. Kensuke will naturally be excused from school that day and be allowed to make up any missed work. _

_Thank-you for your help._

_Sincerely,_

_Ritsuko Akagi _

Sana sighed and massaged her temples after reading the letter. She turned to Kensuke with a worried look on her face. "Dad's in Europe for the week. There's no way he's going to get this in time. I guess it's up to me. What do you think?"

Kensuke's eyes began widening in pleading excitement. "Please, say yes, Sana. Becoming an Eva pilot has been my dream."

Sana kept a serious neutral expression on her face for several minutes increasing the tension in the room. Then she broke into a wide grin. Kensuke took one look at the smile on his sister's face and started to smile back. "You can go. Just promise me one thing; nothing stupid, kay?"

"Thank-you! Sana you're the coolest!"

Aida-san dashed over to his sister and wrapped his arms around her. Sana smiled and hugged him back in return. At last she let Kensuke go, before sending him to the kitchen in search of food for everyone. Ikari-kun motioned me over to the sofa. I went over to the armchair to join him. Ikari-kun smiled as I sat down beside him. "No worries Ayanami. Everything will be okay."

I felt the release of a bit of tension I had been holding in. "Thank-you, Ikari-kun."

Later that evening, after Rei nodded off in an armchair, Shinji pulled out the letter from Ritsuko. He meticulously spread it out in his lap and smoothed the many wrinkles from it. Then he held it out to Hikari and Kensuke. Both teens looked at the letter with a mix of surprise and uncertainty. "It's from Ritsuko. I think she meant it for you guys." Shinji explained in a rush of embarrassment.

Kensuke took the letter and began to read it out loud.

_Dear Sana Aida and Kodama Horaki,_

Allow me to introduce myself. I am Ritsuko Akagi, head scientist at NERV. I wouldn't ordinarily do something like this but I have a special request to make of the two of you. There is a young girl named Reika Ayanami, whose life is in extreme danger. Reika is also in need of medical attention, which is why I come to you. I want you two to take her away from NERV and see that she receives the treatment she needs. You are Reika's best hope for survival. Please consider my request before you answer.

Sincerely

Ritsuko Akagi

All five people in the room looked around at each other. They were so surprised that they were unable to speak. Kensuke blinked hard and Shinji shook his head in denial. Hikari and Asuka's faces remained impassively blank with shock. Meanwhile Sana looked intrigued and surprised.

It was Sana's calm voice that broke the silence of the room. "Horaki-san, when does your sister get home?"

Hikari looked at her watch with a small frown. "Kodama should be home right now. She normally rests after work."

Sana nodded and disappeared into the kitchen. She returned a moment later, carrying the telephone in her hand. Sana took the note from Kensuke and returned to her chair. She dialed Hikari's phone number. Kodama answered after two rings, then the two women spoke for a long time.

Meanwhile the four teenagers looked at each other. In Shinji's mind he was pondering how deep his father's secrets ran. He knew everyone around the Commander was helping him hide so many things in that place called NERV. He wished he could be free of them. Shinji didn't want to hurt anyone. He hated all these horrible things his father hid.

Rei, Shinji wanted to save her the most. He wanted to see her smile, instead of walking around with that blank, restrained, haunted look she usually wore. He wanted Rei to be…happy. He looked over at the girl beside him and smiled slightly. She looked so peaceful when she slept like that.

In that moment Shinji decided that he would not tell Rei about this latest development. His father had her wrapped up enough in his plans as it was. Somehow he knew that if Rei found out about Reika it would put both of them in even more danger. So he'd do his best to protect Rei from harm.

Oddly enough it was the sound of silence that disturbed my sleep. Slowly, I raised my head from my knees to look around. Horaki-san and Pilot Sohryu lay asleep in separate futons on the floor. Ikari-kun laid feigning sleep on the sofa. Sana and Aida-san were nowhere in sight so I assumed they must be sleeping in their rooms.

A small smile crossed Ikari-kun's face when he saw me begin to stir. My sleep had been uneasy and troubled; his smile helped ease my fears about what was to come. The angels were becoming angry and restless after so many defeats. They were going to resort to more forceful methods to achieve their goals. Those tactics were fated to destroy me in the end.

First, cousin Zeruel must be faced next.

Ikari-kun motioned for me to join him on the sofa. I liked the idea of being close to him at last. Things were better when he was near and at the moment, there was much I wished to forget. I carefully made my way past Pilot Sohryu and Horaki-san to the couch. I stepped over both sleeping figures, being carefully not to disturb them, in an effort to cross the room to the sofa where Ikari-kun was. I sat down next to him, cautious to maintain the peace of the room. Ikari-kun propped himself on one elbow so that we were closer to being on eye level.

A glimmer of a smile crossed his face and he gently bushed my bangs from my eyes. I smiled slightly at the soft contact. Ikari-kun made me feel like I was someone special-my life meant something to him. I had value to him-I; Rei Ayanami was important and human. The thought continued to amaze me.

"Are you tired, Ayanami?"

I nodded slightly in response. Ikari-kun patted the sofa in front of him. I looked at him to see that he serious about his offer. Ikari-kun didn't mind if we were close together. I felt the same way. Ikari-kun's presence made me feel calm and strong. If he was there, I feared nothing-except something terrible happening to him.

"Lay down, you look cold."

Ikari-kun gently wrapped his arms around me as I lowered myself onto the sofa. Automatically I began to undo the button on my jean shorts. It wasn't until I was reaching for the zipper that a thought occurred to me. Ikari-kun lay right behind me and it would not be proper for me to be too revealed. However I did trust him not to take advantage of me and I knew nothing would happen. Based on that I decided that it would not be a problem, as long as Ikari-kun agreed. Red cheeked, I turned and looked at him. At first, all Ikari-kun could do was blush crimson in return. Finally he nodded calmly and smiled.

Quietly as possible I unzipped my jeans. I grabbed the edge and slid them off my legs, and then I neatly folded them before I set my shorts aside. He pulled the blanket around my shoulders while I found a place for my head on the pillows. Gently, cautiously, Ikari-kun wrapped both of his hands around my own. Both of our hands lay curled on my chest covering my heart. I could feel Ikari-kun's warm breath tickling the back of my neck. I giggled and shivered slightly in response.

"Sorry."

Ikari-kun pulled me closer to him and placed his face against the back of my neck. His body was warm and soft against my own. I closed my eyes and enjoyed the sensation of the moment. Ikari-kun's arms kept me safe, the way they had since the first day. Nothing evil could reach me through them. "Ayanami?"

"Hai."

There was a long pause and I could sense the blush growing on Ikari-kun's face. I was unsure what he had to be so upset about. I would not be offended by anything he said. Ikari-kun brought me nothing but good things. "You're hair smells nice. What shampoo did you use?"

"Horaki-san and Pilot Sohryu lent it to me, when I was showering earlier this evening." I replied calmly. "I am unfamiliar with the brand but it was strawberry scented." I explained quietly.

"Ichigo. (Strawberry.)" Ikari-kun repeated.

"You approve?"

Ikari-kun nodded slightly and sniffed my hair once more. I found myself blushing slightly. I hadn't realized he would like it so much. I would have to remember that from now on. I…it made me feel … content when Ikari-kun was happy, to see that smile on his face. So if this made him happy, I would do it.

Shinji breathed hard trying to suppress his embarrassment. He couldn't believe how close he was to Rei. Shinji didn't know such a thing was possible. However there was no way to deny the cushy feel of Rei's breast beneath his arms. She was amazingly soft and real. That made her all the more terrifying.

Shinji tried to suppress his steadily rising reaction to her presence. She is an attractive young woman and he is a young man. Only two thin t-shirts and two pairs of underwear separate their bodies from one another. Still Shinji preferred Rei not notice. He was afraid it would make her uncomfortable or frighten her away. After several tense moments it became apparent that Rei was fast sleep.

Shinji took a deep whiff of Rei's scent. It was fresh; clean with a hint of strawberry from the shampoo she'd used this evening. It wasn't her usual smell but Shinji liked it anyway.

Shinji felt Rei's breathing slow down along with her heart rate, as she drifted to sleep in his arms. Shinji took a small peak at the lovely figure before him and his breath caught at what he saw. Rei's flawless pale skin was perfectly highlighted by the light of the moon. Sleep had softened her features and removed the pain from her face. She was perfectly radiant, like a goddess or angel on earth.

Shinji timidly stretched out his hand and touched the side of her face. He gingerly ran his fingers over her delicate skin, enjoying the feel of its softness. In a fit of panic he quickly withdrew his hand and tucked it away. Shinji paused slightly, waiting to see if anyone was listening. Once he was assured that all three women were truly asleep he sighed quietly.

On impulse he carefully he leaned foreword and kissed her on the back of her neck.

Rei murmured quietly in her sleep. Shinji tensed, thinking she was about to wake up. Instead nothing happened and Shinji was able to join her in sleep a few minutes later.

_Come back to me. You are my true daughter. You must return to your rightful place and do your duty. My baby, my child, my love…Rei Ayanami…_

No. I am not one of you.

_Don't be afraid of your mama's embrace. Mama won't hurt you._

I awoke suddenly, fighting the urge to scream. It was only by an immense exertion of will that I was able to suppress it. I breathed deeply, releasing the tension from my body. For a long time my mind felt blank and I lay silently trying to recall where I was. Eventually I began to register that I was not alone. Someone was lying with me.

A moment later I remembered. Ikari-kun's soft breathing whispered past my ear with each breath. I sighed and closed my eyes, letting my body relax. Everything was safe. It might be foolish to associate with Ikari-kun but that didn't matter to me. Right now there was only one place I wanted to be at and that's where I was right now. Ikari-kun's presence allowed me to breathe easier.

I…I was…almost happy. I could honestly admit to that with all my heart.

I moved my right hand from where it lay limp on the sofa and placed it overtop Ikari-kun's. I held his hand tightly as I dared to and prayed silently. I asked to be allowed to return to this place forever, once my usefulness was done. This was… my dream.

It wasn't long before I heard movement from Pilot Sohryu and Horaki-san. I listened as they climbed to their feet and stretched the stiffness from their muscles. "Hey, look at the baka and Wondergirl, Hikari. I wonder what they were doing last night." Pilot Sohryu jeered.

"Asuka!" Horaki-san snapped back.

There was a long awkward pause. I could sense the two of them staring at each other with combative expressions. Then Horaki-san's face softened. "I think it's sweet. They look so cute together. Do you see the smiles on their faces?"

"Whatever."

After that every thing faded out once more. I relaxed, drawing simple enjoyment from where I was. I didn't want to worry about anything or anyone for the moment. I wasn't particularly worried about what Pilot Sohryu thought of what I was doing. It was enough to have Ikari-kun near. I counted that as one of the few blessings I had received in my short life. I had found a reason to fight and live. I might have given up long ago if Ikari-kun hadn't showed up on that day. He'd saved me and us all. I would miss being near him once this moment was gone.

"Here we see a rare scene, two top Eva Pilots blissfully asleep while enjoying some down time. Is there love in the air?" Hissed Aida-san's voice.

Behind me I felt Ikari-kun move for the first time. "Kensuke, would you please cut it out. You're going to wake Rei."

"Shi, Um, Ahh…. Good morning Shinji. I…Ahh, I didn't know you were awake."

Ikari-kun sighed sadly. "Liar, Kensuke. You were doing this on purpose, weren't you?" Ikari-kun replied defensively.

A tickle rose in the back of my throat and I coughed slightly. With my left hand,I rubbed my eyes and opened them to look around. In front of me I could see Aida-san, still wearing his blue-stripped pajamas, carrying a camera in his hand. Behind me Ikari-kun watched me with a worried face. I think he was afraid of what my reaction would be. "Ohayo (Good morning), Ikari-kun, Aida-san."

"Konnichiwa (hello), Ayanami. Did you sleep well?"

I nodded in the affirmative. Ikari-kun carefully unwrapped his arms from my body and shifted his weight into a more comfortable position. I smiled encouragingly at him. Ikari-kun and Aida-san relaxed when they saw my reaction and smiles appeared on their faces. I stretched my arms and neck to remove any last trace of stiffness I felt. It didn't do me much good however. I was barely even stiff to begin with.

"Go on Kensuke. Tell the girls that I'll start breakfast in a minute."

Kensuke nodded and disappeared down the hallway. Once he was out of sight, I turned to face Ikari-kun. He blushed as my full gaze focused on him. His mouth worked slowly as he tried to say something. At last he shook his head and gave up. I gently moved my hand on top of his. "Is something wrong, Ikari-kun?"

Ikari-kun blushed and looked away. I placed my hand under his chin and turned his face back towards mine. I tried to say something but found myself unable to speak. "Ikissedyoulastnightwhileyouwerealseep. I'msorryIcouldn'thelpmyself." He blurted out.

After admitting what he'd done, Ikari-kun began to blush even more. I placed both of my hands on top of his and starred into his eyes. He seemed too afraid to hurt me. Ikari-kun didn't need to worry. His kissing me while I was asleep didn't bother me. In fact I was fine with that.

"Don't worry Ikari-kun. I do not mind if you wish to kiss me."

Ikari-kun's eyes widened in relief and surprise. "Really?"

I nodded. "I find kissing you to be… pleasurable."

Ikari-kun smiled slightly and gently placed his hand against my face. I began to smile at him and he smiled back. His smile seemed to say that he wanted me to depend on him like he trusted me. With all my heart, I agreed with him. I wanted to do what Ikari-kun suggested, but I was afraid of what the Commander would do. I didn't want him to hurt Ikari-kun. Unfortunately I had only one way to do that.

"I…um, Rei, you shouldn't be taken advantage of. You, of all people; earned the right to be happy. You're the bravest person I know."

I shook my head slowly, sadly. I was not the person he thought I was. "I doubt that. I am not a very brave person, Ikari-kun."

Ikari-kun seemed surprised and shook his head in an emphatic no. "Yes, you are, Ayanami. You would not be able to pilot the Eva if you did not have courage and compassion in your heart."

Ikari-kun's eyes were full of a pleading sadness. I felt bad about hurting him with my denial. That had not been my intent. I only wished to explain how I saw things. "Ayanami?"

"Hai."

Ikari-kun's hands gripped my upper arms with painful tightness. His blue eyes were shining with desperation. "Stop listening to my father. You don't owe him that allegiance. No, you're not indebted to him for anything. Rei, you deserve to be your own person, to do what you want."

"What I want?"

I had considered this concept on numerous occasions. However I was tentative to come to any conclusions. I knew what Commander Ikari had planed for me. There was not much room for my own individual freedom within that framework. In my own way, I had, against the odds, found my own motives to go on. Ikari-kun and Unit Zero kept me living from day to day. "I am not sure."

In my heart I knew that those words were a horrible lie and telling them were wrong. However I had no other choice. Ikari-kun was in danger if I told him the truth. I buried my head in my hands, ashamed to face Ikari-kun. He placed his hands on my shoulders and gently turned my face to his.

"I'm sorry, Ayanami. I only want what's best for you. I don't want to see you so sad. If you can't tell me, I won't ask. Okay?"

I nodded slightly as I struggled against the tears that threatened to spill from my eyes. Ikari-kun, he must be so disappointed in me. I wanted to tell him the truth, I really did, but it wasn't worth his life. I would not jeopardize his safety. "Ikari-kun, please trust me it is to your benefit if you do not know. Everything would be in peril…"

"Rei. If you know that I will trust you. You know what my father's doing better then anyone."

"Thank-you, Ikari-kun. I don't want to go away and I don't want you being hurt."

Ikari-kun looked confused by my words. "What do you mean, go away? I don't understand."

"To disappear," I repeated softly. "That will be my fate, no matter what I want. I can't tell you anything or it will all be much worse. I don't want to expose you to that danger."

I emphasized my point by placing both of my hands over his and staring straight into his eyes. Ikari-kun's eyes widened and blinked hard. Then he settled again and met my gaze with one of his own. In his eyes I could that he was questioning, even if only slightly, if my words were true. I nodded my head with full seriousness. Doubt fled from that moment. "Rei, what kind of things has my father dragged you into? Isn't there some way to escape from his madness?"

I shook my head slowly but certainly. I knew there was no way for me to escape him. My best hope was to fight to stay alive. Ikari-kun was my reason, my will to survive and Unit Zero was my means. As long as I had them as my hope, my strength, nothing could harm me.

Ikari-kun nodded slowly in understanding and placed his hand against the side of my face. Suddenly his eyes widened and an embarrassed smile crossed his face. "Rei, I just had a strange idea. Would you like to go on a date with me?"

A date? I was completely caught off guard by the whole idea. It wasn't something I expected Ikari-kun to ask me. Still, I liked the idea. Going on a date with Ikari-kun sounded like a pleasurable experience. As important, it was not yet forbidden. Only kissing Ikari-kun was. "Hai, Ikari-kun. Where do you wish to go?"

Ikari-kun blushed uncertainly. His head cocked to the side as his mind raced to come up with an answer to the question. His hand twitched nervously in his lap as he thought. At last I saw a flicker of inspiration cross his face. "Have you been to that new restaurant, you know the one that honors FLCL? They have an international menu and vegetarian meals. What do you think?"

I didn't need to think it over twice. It seemed like a fun place to me. "It sounds acceptable. I agree to go there with you."

For a moment Ikari-kun seemed confused and then he started to smile. "Arigato, Ayanami, I…I…"

I placed my index finger over his lips to stop him from stammering. Ikari-kun smiled and wrapped his hands around my own. I smiled and leaned closer to him, he did the same. "You understand, I ask only for your safety and happiness, Ayanami."

"I, I wish for the same."

"I promise to protect you." There was conviction his voice "That night, when we fought the angel, I promised you that we'd see this through together. I wanted to see the end with you by my side. I wished for the two of us to make it through this."

"You do not need to worry about that, Ikari-kun. I promised to protect you and I don't break my word."

Ikari-kun frowned and placed his arms around me. "Rei, you shouldn't have to do everything. Let me take some of the burden from you. It's the least I can do. If you try too hard you'll end up dead. I don't want you to end up like that. It would be too sad."

I gently looked Ikari-kun in the eyes. I wanted to tell him that I was fated to die for him but I couldn't find the words to speak. Who knows maybe things could turn out differently this time. Before I knew it our faces were barely centimeters apart. "Let's consider this our promise to do this together." Ikari-kun whispered.

"For luck and hope." I mouthed back.

A small smile crossed Ikari-kun's lips. We closed the distance between us without any hesitation. Ikari-kun pressed his lips to mine. I kissed him back with equal want. I hoped he understood everything I was trying to tell him. I wanted him to find happiness because I cared. Tears of joy and sadness rolled down my face. There were so many things I wished and wanted, none of which I could have.

Reluctantly we broke apart at last, ending the moment. Ikari-kun smiled and disappeared through the kitchen door. I watched him go with a small smile on my face. Somehow I felt that everything would be okay.

"What do you want Rei?" Dr. Akagi snapped.

Unconsciously I took a step back toward the doorway. I did not want to face Dr. Akagi's wrath. I couldn't do it. In the mood she was in, she would love nothing more then to rip me to pieces. I needed to protect myself; otherwise it would hurt too much. Ikari-kun said I did not deserve the pain, but I was not so sure. I was simply a creation, with a fake body and soul. I was not special or unique by any means. I was not even…human…

I was a freak created by a mad man.

"Rei."

Dr. Akagi's voice brought me out of my thoughts. I looked up to find her looking right at me. Her blue eyes were dull and she had dark bruise like rings around both eyes. It looked like the fire had gone of her. She was too worn out and stretched too thin for her own good. I swallowed and resolved to make my request before I lost my nerve again. " I need your permission to move Yukari Suzuhara down to the Fifth Child's room for the day."

Dr. Akagi's face remained neutral as she listened. "Why?"

"Today is Suzuhara-san's 15th birthday. He has not seen his sister since the last angel battle. It would make an unexpected and happy surprise." I explained.

Dr. Akagi nodded as a mischievous grin caught the edge of her lips. "Very well. As long as you let her attending physician know and don't tire either of them out too much."

"Hai."

Dr. Akagi turned around and pulled off one of her numerous sticky notes from the wall. She handed it to me and I took it in my hand. Squinting slightly I was able to read the hastily written note on it, 'Yukari Suzuhara- heart transplant 11:00 AM 12/27. Touji Suzuhara-prosthetic fitting 5 PM 12/27.' I looked up at Dr. Akagi to see if this was some sort of trick. She nodded slightly. "We have a heart donor who's a perfect match for Miss Suzuhara. The family has agreed to cut life support tomorrow morning. From there everything should go smoothly."

It took a minute for Dr. Akagi's words to sink in. I realized that she must have been referring to one of the coma patients in NERV's Hospital. There were many of them with recent events being what they were. It was bitter sweet that someone would be dying for Yukari to finally receive the heart she'd needed for so many years. She'd been sick her entire life. "Arigato Doctor."

Dr. Akagi waved me off and turned back to her computer screen. I hurried through the door, eager to be out of sight before she decided to change her mind. As I made my way through NERV's corridors I stuffed the sticky note in my pocket. I would give it to the others once Yukari Suzuhara had been moved.

I turned the corner and saw Pilot Sohryu and Hikari-san waiting eagerly for me outside the Fifth Child's room. When she saw me Horaki-san ran down the hall towards me and Pilot Sohryu was not far behind. "What did she say Rei?"

"She said, yes. We may move her."

Horaki-san smiled slightly and Pilot Sohryu beamed with eagerness. Pilot Sohryu grabbed our arms and steered us down the hallway. "Let's go before the stooges notice we're gone."

Both Horaki-san and I agreed with that plan. Without another word we set off down the hallway. Ten minutes and two elevator rides later the three of us stood in front of room 190A on the 100th floor. The nametag read, 'Suzuhara, Yukari' with a red sticker following it to indicate her need for a heart transplant. None of us had met Suzuhara-san's sister so we were shy about going in. Pilot Sohryu, feeling the bravest, knocked firmly on the door and lead the way inside. Inside was the reason for our visit.

Yukari Suzuhara lay on the hospital bed and was hooked up to multiple machines by a mass of wires. She was awake and watching us with interest. "You're friends of Touji's," She said after a moment, "Where is my nii-san (big brother). I haven't seen him in so long.

Horaki-san took a deep breath and began to speak before Pilot Sohryu or I could. "He's been in the hospital for a long time now. Touji was hurt badly in the last Eva battle."

Her face fell at the bad news. Her hand tensed on the sheets and for a minute we all expected her to cry. "Poor Nii-san."

"We're going to take you up to see him as a surprise." Pilot Sohryu explained.

Her face brightened when she heard where we were going. "I can't wait to see Nii-san again!" She cried happily.

Hikari smiled and patted Yukari on the hand. Pilot Sohryu meanwhile began looking around. "Where do we find her attending resident? Any ideas Wondergirl? You spend most of your time here, as I've seen."

I took a minute to think over what I would do if I were in the hospital and needed to contact the doctor. After I moment, an idea came to me. I looked around and spotted the control panel along with the call button. I pressed my thumb against the button and held it down for five seconds. I looked to the others and Pilot Sohryu nodded to me. "Wondergirl, you better know what you're doing."

"Of course."

Pilot Sohryu nodded to me, to show that she heard my response. There were footsteps in the hallway and we turned as the door began to open. A young woman stood in the doorway with a concerned look on her face. She was dressed in a lab coat so I assumed that she was one of the doctors. "Can I help you Miss Suzuhara?"

"They say they can take me to see my brother. May I allow them to take me to his room?" Yukari asked.

The doctor appeared surprised. "Your brother is here?"

"He's the Fifth Child, Touji Suzuhara." I explained quickly.

The doctor looked at me for a moment and then recognition dawn on her face. She smiled and calmly nodded. A few minutes later the drum of feet filled the room as a small team of orderlies entered. In a matter of a few minutes they had managed to prepare Yukari to travel. Pilot Sohryu lead the way from the room while Horaki-san and I walked behind at Yukari's side. She smiled happily the whole way, asking about Touji, NERV and other topics of interest. Happily, Yukari was easy to distract, almost eager to have some diversion from her nervousness and pain.

Moving Yukari to the Fifth's room was harder than finding her room had been. Mostly this was because we had to take it slow for her sake. On top of that the bed was heavy and the machines were unwieldy. It took nearly twenty minutes for us to reach Suzuhara-san's room. When we arrived, Aida-san was waiting anxiously outside the door for us. He straightened up from his chair with a smile on his face when he saw us turn the corner.

"Thank god, you're here!" He cried in relief, "Touji is becoming suspicious. Shinji's distracting him with a game of cards but I don't think that will last much longer."

Pilot Sohryu grinned and nodded to Hikari and me. "Open the door, Stooge. We're ready."

"Yes, ma'am."

Kensuke opened the door and Pilot Sohryu lead the charge inside. Suzuhara-san and Ikari-kun looked up at us with surprise on their faces. Suzuhara-san's eyes nearly came out of his head; they were opened so wide. "Yuka-chan!" He stammered.

"Nii-chan!"

Both of the siblings smiled awkwardly and starred at each other in disbelief. I watched Yukari's eyes as they fell on Suzuhara-san's missing arm and leg. They looked so miserable. "Nii-chan… What happened to you?" She whispered.

Despite the sadness in her voice there was an edge of strength to it as well. I had the distinct impression Yukari wanted to scold Suzuhara-san with a smack to the back of the head. Suzuhara-san, ignoring his sister's threat, grinned widely and gave his sister a thumbs up. "I had a slight problem piloting Unit Three. This is nothing. Don't worry; I'll be patched up in no time."

Yukari's eyes narrowed and she glared hard at her older brother. I sensed concern for the other pass between them. Were they trying to protect each other? I think that made sense. "What about you, Yuka? How are you?"

Yukari smiled confidently. "I've been doing better lately. My heart's tough and so am I, just like you always said.."

Suzuhara-san smiled and nodded to his sister. "That's good to know."

It was then that I remembered the note Dr Akagi had given me earlier. I reached into my pocket and carefully pulled it out. Using both of my hands, I gently smoothed it out, while I waited for my opportunity to speak. Before I could begin Ikari-kun noticed what I was doing. "Something wrong, Ayanami?"

"I have a message for the Suzuhara siblings from Dr. Akagi."

I didn't have to say anything else. The room fell completely silent for me. I looked around to see that all eyes were on me. I…I had not expected such close attention from everyone… I blinked slowly and slid behind my calm mask. Inside I felt nervous but I never let my mind dwell on any of it. I couldn't afford to be anything but perfect.

I held up the note and read it out loud so that everyone could hear. Once I had done that I closed the note and sat down in the nearest chair before I collapsed. Ikari-kun knelt down next to me.

--

Ritsuko made her way downstairs to central dogma. In her arms she carried the latest round of chemical injections for the Rei clones. Her cover didn't provide her with much comfort, however. Ritsuko began to shiver as she walked through the isolated and little used hallways. In her mind, horrifying scenarios of what could go wrong; ran unendingly. Each was more terrible and worse then the last. Almost before Ritsuko realized it, she was standing in front of the door to her destination.

Ritsuko balanced her tray of chemicals on her knee and began fishing in her pocket for her key card. After a minute her fingers came into contact with the slick surface. She wrapped her fingers around it and pulled it from her pocket. Ritsuko swiped her card through the lock. The light flashed and the familiar click of the door unlocking was heard. Ritsuko opened the door and entered into the room beyond.

Ritsuko began by handling the reason she was supposed to be here, taking care of the Rei clones. She changed into her wetsuit and dove into the LCL tank. She gave each Rei clone her weekly injection. These shots would keep them from being affected by their long time submerged in the LCL.

At last Ritsuko approached the last clone near the bottom of the tank. However she stopped when she saw the glint in her eyes. Reika was at it again. Darn her for being such a brat. Ritsuko sighed and turned to where she knew the fourth child was floating within a metal cage. The blond scientist was both fascinated and disturbed by Reika's newest ability, she could sync with the other Rei clones through the LCL. "Very funny, Reika. Are you enjoying yourself?" Ritsuko asked.

A small smile quirked the edges of Reika's pale lips. She released her hold on the clone, so Ritsuko could finish her work. The grin never left her face however, Ritsuko noticed with dismay. Ritsuko finished injecting the final Rei clone and then swam over to Reika. She wrapped her hands around the bars to put herself at eye level with the albino girl on the other side. "It is time. You leave tonight."

Reika nodded calmly to show that she heard. "I'm ready when you are, doctor."

Ritsuko nodded back and released her hold on the bars. Her body began to float slowly towards the surface. Reika watched Ritsuko without comment. "No talking once you're out of the LCL." Ritsuko instructed her.

Reika frowned at the command but she accepted it quietly. Ritsuko smiled and then went back to gradually returning herself to the surface. Reika slipped easily between the bars and followed Ritsuko at a much slower pace. She lacked the necessary pace to keep up with the older woman. Before they reached the surface of the liquid Ritsuko grabbed Reika around the waist in preparation for what she needed to do. Ritsuko's head cleared the surface. She looked around; attempting to locate the oxygen mask she had set up in preparation for this. After a minute, Ritsuko saw what she was looking for. With her free hand, she grabbed the oxygen mask and pulled it towards the edge of the LCL Tank.

Ritsuko paused a moment to catch her breath. Then she hauled Reika out of the LCL and placed the mask over her face, with one quick movement. The result was Reika lying on her back, breathing with hard painful gasps. The transfer from LCL to air was especially difficult for her damaged lungs. While Reika tried to catch her breath, Ritsuko pulled herself from the LCL. She stripped off her wet suit and toweled off. Then Ritsuko dried off Reika as best she could.

Once both of them were dry Ritsuko carefully helped Reika to her feet. Reika tottered on uncooperative legs and was forced to lean a good portion of her weight against Ritsuko to stay upright. Slowly and awkwardly the pair of them made their way across the platform and down the stairs. At the bottom Ritsuko lowered Reika into a wheelchair.

Reika sighed and closed her eyes in exhaustion the moment she was seated. Her chest rose and sank rapidly, as Reika struggled to breath. Ritsuko took a spare hospital gown out of her bag. She carefully pulled the top half onto Reika and then followed with the bottom. Once Reika was dressed Ritsuko grabbed a blanket from the same bag and wrapped it around Reika. The blanket served the dual purposes of keeping Reika warm and making her presence undetectable.

Ritsuko disappeared into the next room and brought the duffle bag Reika had left in there over a week ago out. She set it in Reika's lap. Reika smiled and sighed in pain. Her hands lay limp and useless in her lap underneath her bag. Ritsuko took out a syringe and gave Reika a shot. "This medication will help your lungs heal and remain uninfected. It'll make you feel weird so I suggest you relax. Your medicines are all in your bag." Ritsuko explained quickly.

I nodded to show Ritsuko that I understood her. After seeing my response, Ritsuko did one last look around to see if she had forgotten anything. Then she seized the handles of my wheelchair and pushed me foreword. Ritsuko wheeled me through the halls of Nerv. She said nothing to me the entire time so I simply sat and watched.

I had no idea what the plan was to get me out of here. I wanted to trust that Ritsuko had something in mind. However the farther we went the more confused I became. It seemed that she was taking me outside. That didn't make sense, or maybe the spinning in my head was causing that. I had no idea what was so important that was there. At long last we arrived at the outside doors and went through them.

I looked around but saw no one or nothing in the darkness to give me a clue as to what was going on. I groaned slightly and let my headrest on my chest. I figured that I would be woken up if anything important happened. My eyes started to sag and I could feel my mind beginning to drift away.

"Reika!"

At the sound of my name, I forced myself awake and lifted my head. It took me a long minute to register that Hikari and Kensuke were running toward me. I blinked several times, to assure myself that my eyes were not lying to me. Every time I did they were still there. I couldn't believe it. This wasn't a dream. I smiled at both of them in happiness.

Both of them wrapped their arms around me in a massive bear hug. I felt like I was being crushed between them but at the same time I was so happy to see them that I didn't care. I was simply too ecstatic to see them again and have their arms around me. "Reika, we were so worried about you." Hikari cried.

"We heard you were dead." Kensuke wailed.

I smiled and embraced the both of them weakly with my arms. Their arms pulled me between them. My own body was like a piece of limp spaghetti and I had little control of my own over it. I noticed that Hikari was looking hard at my face. Her brown eyes met my own, questioning if I was truly okay. I squeezed her hand to let her know that I was. Hikari frowned slightly and narrowed her eyes at me.

Kensuke and Hikari pulled me to my feet with their superior strength. I wobbled slightly between them but remained standing. Now that I was on my feet I could feel a slight bit of clarity return to me. For the first time I noticed the car that was running a short distance away. As I watched, Sana and Kodama stepped out of it and walked over. I smiled and starred up at them.

They helped Hikari and Kensuke move me to the car. I collapsed into the car seat and closed my eyes. I breathed deeply and hard, trying to catch my breath; overwhelmed by how weak I had become. Although I was used to not being as strong as others, this weakness was almost beyond belief for me. My strength was completely gone. Hikari sat down on one side and Kensuke on the other. I don't remember much else because I began to dose off right away.

I came to as I was being carried inside. I groaned and shook my head to wake myself up. Hikari jumped slightly when she saw me awaken. This time I was not allowed to stand; instead I was forced to hang between them like a giant rag doll. It felt odd to be held there so helplessly between the four of them. Somehow the feeling was comforting too. I knew that I was completely safe.

They lay me in a spare bed and tucked me in. Sana and Kodama left immediately. Hikari and Kensuke however remained. They sat down next to me. I smiled at them and extended my hand. Hikari took it and squeezed my fingers with hers. "Don't worry. You'll be okay Reika. We'll be right here."

I smiled as I felt tears well up in my eyes. It felt so good to have them there. I hadn't expected to have any friends in this life. I must be truly fortunate, either that or I was putting them in an insane amount of danger. I hoped that it was the former and not the latter. No, I would do anything to see to it that nothing bad happened to those around me. I made a vow to do everything possible to protect those I cared for.

I closed my eyes and let the tiredness wash over me like a wave. I drifted away without resistance.

**------------------------------------------------------------------**

**Author's Notes:**

Please Review, they are highly appriciated.

I don't own Eva!!! Nuf said

Lord Saturn speaks: This author has put a lot of hard work into writing this story for your enjoyment. It is only fair for you to leave a reveiw, she has earned it. Its very easy to do. Just click that little button and write a few kind words to thank her for giving you an imaginitive story to read.


	20. New Perspective

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_**The Girl in White Bandages: The True Confessions of Ayanami Rei**_

_**Ch. 16 New Perspective **_

_By Sesshy's Girl 00_

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Hikari looked over at Kensuke and then down at Reika. The albino girl appeared so frail and sick. It was sad to see her reduced to this state. Reika was normally strong and outgoing. Her weak lungs never seemed to be an issue, until now. Her breathing problems were worse, since the last Evangelion battle. Kensuke looked back over at Hikari, he seemed to understand her worries without a word being said.

Kensuke yawned and rubbed his eyes stubbornly. He shook his head, to remove the weariness from his face. "We should get some sleep, it's late." He suggested.

Both teens weren't very eager to go anywhere. There was a long period of silence, while the two of them struggled to find the right words to communicate their feelings. At last, Hikari spoke up. "Aida-san, you look exhausted. Go get some rest. I'll watch Reika."

Kensuke shook his head in refusal. "I couldn't ask you to do that, Horaki-san. I'm the man and this is my house. I'll do it." He replied bravely.

Hikari chuckled in amusement, at Kensuke's show of bravado. Kensuke narrowed his eyes and glared in fake anger at the Class Rep. He placed his hands on Hikari's and starred in perfect seriousness at her. "I meant it Horaki-san. Reika needs someone to keep an eye on her until she wakes up. I don't want to want to leave her alone."

Hikari nodded quietly in agreement. She shared his worry about their blue haired friend. Reika was clearly not in very good shape. Hikari would feel a lot better knowing someone was keeping an eye on her. Kensuke seemed to have a sudden idea and hurried out of the room. He returned moments later, with two futons and a pair of pillows. He laid them out beside the bed and motioned for Hikari to take one. Hikari nodded in gratitude and sat down with a contented sigh.

Kensuke placed himself comfortably on the other bed. He yawned tiredly and brushed back his sandy hair with both hands. "Don't worry about it Class Rep. Get some sleep while you can. I've got this covered."

"Are you sure, Aida-san?"

Kensuke nodded. "Hai. I will be fine."

Hikari took one last good look at Reika and then stretched out on her futon. She closed her eyes and began to drift off to sleep. Kensuke watched quietly as Hikari dozed off. Then, he turned and looked over at Reika. Despite the pain she must be in, she was smiling happily in her sleep. Reika looked peaceful lying there, with the moonlight on her face. He liked it that way; she looked better without the lines of worry on her face. She was free at last.

Quietly, Kenuske crawled the short distance across the floor, to where Reika's oxygen tank lay. He looked down on the indicator on the top. To his relief he found that the tank was full and the line secure. Nothing would be bothering Reika's sleep from this area. Kensuke felt a small glimmer of relief, to have one source of worry removed.

Kensuke carefully felt his way across the floor, to the side of the bed. He knelt down next to it, so that his face rested near Reika's. Kensuke watched her breathing, as it made warm, white clouds of condensation, on the mask over her face. He still found it amazing, that he was looking upon the face of the real living girl and not the corpse of one. Kensuke had to restrain the urge to touch her face, simply to feel the warmth of her skin or watch her breath, to see that it did not fail. He kept waiting for her to become a cold, lifeless body before him. Oddly enough-despite the fact she persisted in remaining alive- he would be attending her funeral in a few days. Kensuke hoped he'd be able to display appropriate mourning. He didn't want to put her in further danger.

Kensuke wondered what Reika would do, now that she was free. Clearly she would have to attempt to start a new life, completely separate from the one she occupied at NERV. He feared it might be more than she could handle. On second thought that wasn't likely. Reika wasn't afraid of much, if anything.

---

I came to consciousness gently, my mind reluctant to leave the confines of the sleeping world. I yawned softly and blinked to clear my eyes. Cautiously, I stretched my fingers and toes, testing their strength. To my relief, I was feeling a lot better. Sleeping in a real bed must have done my body good. My lungs still worried me, however, they felt heavy and painful.

I took several deep breaths of air, to assure myself that I was truly all here. It seemed so, I decided; I was certainly still breathing. That made me feel a little better, I didn't want to pass out from lack of breath.

Looking around, I spotted Aida-san and Horaki-san sleeping nearby. Aid-san lay sprawled haphazardly out on one futon and Horaki-san was curled up on the otherfuton. They must have stayed with me all night. The realization, that I was so highly cared for, made me feel warm inside. I wanted to kiss them in gratitude. Someone thought my life was worth the danger. I wished I could show him I was better then his doll. I was human; my life belonged to me and me alone.

I heard footsteps coming down the hallway. I placed both arms under me and turned to face the door. It opened softly Sana and Kodama tiptoed inside. They blinked in surprise and then smiled, when they saw me awake. I smiled at them and waved cheerfully. They carefully made their way past Kensuke and Hikari to reach me. Sana knelt down next to me and Kodama adjusted the pillows to support me better.

"How do you feel, Reika? Are you hungry?" Sana inquired.

I nodded eagerly, imagining how it would taste to eat something solid again. During my time in the LCL tank, I had been prevented from consuming anything. I was starved and desperate, which probably contributed to the weakness I experienced. "Please, I'd love something to eat." I pleaded.

Both women smiled in amusement and patted me on my head. "Let's carry you out to the kitchen. We don't want to wake them." Kodama suggested.

They supported me under each arm and helped me to stand. My legs wobbled beneath me, threatening to give out all together. I struggled to control them but it proved difficult. Sana and Kodama's presence helped tremendously. Slowly, we made our way out of the room, down the hallway and into the kitchen. Sana and Kodama lowered me into a chair. I sank gratefully into the soft cushions and closed my eyes. I breathed deeply, taking in the oxygen my body demanded.

Sana placed a small bowl of rice, a glass of water and two chopsticks before me. Kodama placed a hand on my shoulder in concern. "Take it easy and see how your body responds. Okay?"

I nodded in agreement. The last thing I wanted was to become ill once more. I needed to be recovering and regaining my strength. Down time, wouldn't last much longer, not when my life was in such a precarious position. Plus, there was always the future to remember, there was a whole world to see out there. On top of it all was my personal mission to take down NERV and save Rei. Leaving her behind pained me more then anything.

"Miss Rei?"

I turned my head to see a small girl standing in the doorway. She looked up at me with wide eyes, as she smiled in awe. She danced across the floor and climbed into the chair next to me. She plopped onto her behind and clapped her hands eagerly. "Do I know you?" I asked carefully.

She blinked in surprise. "Why?"

Her lips twisted, as tears threatened at the corner of her eyes. I wanted to apologize and explain what I'd been through. I understood now why I didn't know her. She must have met Rei and was now confusing us. I couldn't blame her, she was young and we did look nearly identical. "I…I am Rei's sister. Who are you?" I responded politely.

The girl's mouth made a big surprised 'O' in response. Slowly, comprehension seemed to dawn upon her face. I smiled warmly at her and turned my body so I faced her. She nodded calmly and relaxed once more. "Mina not knows Rei was sister. You look same." She stated in confusion.

"Rei and I are special. We're identical twins."

"Is that why you look the same?" Mina questioned.

I nodded my head in the affirmative. It wasn't the complete truth but she didn't need to know all that. I would tell NERV's secrets to no one else. They were mine and mine alone. I needed them as leverage to free Rei from His grasp. Those were my powers, my safety net from harm. "Hai."

The girl smiled and held out her hand. I shook it lightly and smiled politely at her. Mina's feet bobbled in the air and her hands danced around happily. She certainly seemed like the excitable type and that enthusiasm was infectious. I was starting to enjoy her bubbly company. Mina's cheery voice raised my spirits and made me feel prepared for my new life.

"Are you sick, Rei's sister?" Mina asked cautiously.

I looked down at the oxygen tank that rested at my feet. It reminded me of my physical weakness and shortcomings. Would I ever be free of this stupid contraption? I dreamed about such things but deep down I never expected such a thing to come true.

_Hey, that's what dreams are for, right?_

"Yes, I am sick. My lungs are bad."

"Will you be well soon?" Mina asked cautiously, concern plastered on her face.

That was a nice thought but completely impossible. There were few things that could help me now. "No, I'll become stronger but I'll never be well. My lungs are too sick."

Mina frowned, looking alternately sad and worried. "Are you con-tag-ous? Mommy say that bad thing."

"No, I'm not contagious. The only person I'll harm is myself." I assured her.

"You die?" Mina asked softly, her voice nearly cracking with tears.

"No, dear. Reika's not going to die. She's not that ill. Reika's simply staying here until she's better." Sana assured her, with a gentle hug.

Mina relaxed after that. She sat happily next to me while Sana fed her breakfast. I ate my own meal slowly, savoring the taste of real food in my mouth. I wanted to bolt the whole thing down and it took ever once of my will to restrain myself. If Sana and Kodama left me alone, I would have done it in a heartbeat. Instead, I forced myself to take my time, to avoid being punished. Thirty minutes later, I was down to the final bites of rice. I felt full and much better from the meal.

I heard voices in the hallway and turned to the door. Mina's eyes lit up in delight and she jumped to the floor. "Uncle Kenny! Uncle Kenny!" She cheered excited.

Kenuske appeared in the doorway, a worried expression on his face. When he saw me sitting there, he sighed in relief. "Ohayo (good morning), Ayanami-san. I'm glad to see you're awake. Are you feeling better now?"

"Hai (Yes.). Thank-you, for last night. I'm grateful to be free from that place."

I never expected to have such dedicated help in surviving. I assumed I would always be on my own. This was the most amazing thing in the world. I'd been lucky with my friends; they were extremely loyal and courageous.

"Don't worry about it. I'm just glad to have to have you alive. I couldn't believe it, when Rei told us your were dead." He assured me, "You seemed destined for more then that."

"I'm much too strong to betaken out that easily but I 'm not infallible. If not for Dr. Akagi, I wouldn't be part of this world. I don't think I'm cut out to do this anymore. I'm just too weak."

"What are you talking about? You're still alive right? It will take time but your body will heal." Kensuke shot back.

Kensuke's optimism made me smile. I wished I could share it but I saw things differently. My lungs were in shreds after that last fight and breathing was even more difficult. The odds of me living long were slim at best. I knew I needed to work fast to accomplish my goal before time ran out. I wondered how long my body would hold out. I prayed I'd have enough time to complete my goal. "I meant surviving on my own, Aida-san. I don't have the strength anymore."

Kensuke shook his head, as he sat down beside me. He placed his hand on my shoulder and stared me in the eyes. I felt him trying to understand, to analyze my thoughts. I wish I could explain myself to him because he'd been such a help to me but I feared what might happen. I may need help but I would not, under any circumstances, put someone I cared for into harms way.

"Whatever you need, I'll do my best to help." Kensuke assured me.

I smiled at the kindness in Kensuke's words; glad he accepted my response. For now, I wanted only two things from anyone. "Does Rei know about me?"

Aida-san shook his head vehemently. "Shinji made us swear not to. I think he was afraid something bad would happen, if she found out about you. He's desperate to protect her. It's cool to see how hard they work to shield the other."

I nodded in understanding. Shinji did well to guard my sister from the Commander. He would have no qualms about destroying her, if she threatened his plan. "Ikari-kun was wise with that decision. Rei will be much safer not knowing about me. I want you to help him keep an eye on her. I'm afraid Rei will try something reckless now that I'm gone."

Kensuke patted me on the shoulder. "Relax Reika. The Sixth Child is on the case. I'll do my best to protect Rei from harm!" Kensuke exclaimed.

My heart stopped dead in horror. I turned to Kensuke desperate for him to take it back. Kensuke was an Evangelion pilot? This seemed like a horrible nightmare or movie script. The one problem, everything was far too real. "Aida-san, you're joking…" I choked out desperately.

"I'm not Reika! I'm going to be a pilot too!" Kensuke exclaimed excitedly, "The test is tomorrow and I can't wait!"

At last I felt like I could breath and I forced myself to smile for Kensuke. This was his dream, his moment of glory. I wanted him to enjoy the moment, but I couldn't help but worry about him. I knew how dangerous piloting Evangelion was. The last thing I wanted was for someone else I cared about to be injured. "Congratulations and good luck, Aida-san. I hope things go well for you."

"Arigato (Thank you), Reika. I think thing will go smoothly, Shinji, Rei and Asuka will all be there. I know they'll protect me."

I nodded, hoping Kensuke was right. Firmly, I reminded myself that it was only a simple synchronization experiment. With the other children there, not much could happen. I was becoming a paranoid worrywart. Maybe it was a good thing I was freed of my piloting duties. I should use my spare time to see a therapist about my issues.

"Reika, I can't believe the Commanders wanted you dead. I would think they'd want someone like you around." Kensuke insisted.

Kensuke's words caused me to remember, why I was in this situation. I wasn't supposed to exist, so he wanted me gone at the first possible chance. That was why I wanted to stay alive. By haunting him and ruining his plans, it gave purpose to my existence and sought revenge for what he did to me. Commander Ikari'sactions were unforgivable. "Not anymore. My usefulness to them has been expended. My lungs were so badly damaged, that piloting again could prove fatal. Also, I know too much about their inner secrets. They considered me a liability, so I had to be eliminated." I explained carefully.

"That's so cold and ungrateful of them. What would have happened if you hadn't been there? I think that battle wouldn't have turned out so nicely." Aida-san exclaimed indigently.

"I know, I save their buts; they turn around and try to kill me. That's why you need to be careful, Mister Sixth Child. NERV doesn't love anyone." I cautioned him.

I closed my eyes, as I wondered what was happening there now. Rei would have to be careful, until the sixteenth appeared. Then, all hell would break lose. I hoped I would be able to do my part when the time came.

"Reika? Are you paying attention?"

"Sorry, my mind wandered off. What did you say, Aida-san?" I apologized.

Kensuke shook his head at me with a smile. "I asked if you were hungry."

"Hai. I would be glad of something moreto eat."

"I'll take care of this, Kensuke. You should go wake Hikari. If she sleeps too much longer, she's going to be late to school." Sana insisted gently.

"Why?" Kensuke demanded.

Sana grinned mischievously a hint of malice in her face. "Because I'm your big sister and while dad's away, I'm in charge. Therefore, you must do what I say, understand?"

Kensuke surrendered reluctantly and disappeared into the hallway. Sana watched him go with a troubled expression. I thought I knew what bothered her before she spoke.

"I don't know what I'm going to do with him. Kensuke's going to get himself into so much trouble and there's nothing I can do."

"You can forbid him to pilot Eva." I pointed out.

Sana chuckled in amusement. "I don't have the heart to do that but he's still my brother. I want to protect him somehow. Reika, you were a pilot, is there anything I can do?" She pleaded.

I struggled to find the right words to comfort Sana. Telling her the Evangelions were safe was a complete and total lie. However they might also be the world's salvation. There was no easy way to convey all that. "The Evangelions are not the tamest beings and it is true that they're dangerous. Yet, if things turn dangerous, the Evas are the safest place one can be." I explained to her.

"Reika, I…I don't understand."

"Some days, I don't either. Allow me to state things another way, NERV is more dangerous then the Evangelions it harbors. Aida-san must be careful or he'll end up in the same kind of trouble I am in. I imagine he'll need to be reminded of that…"

_Please don't let anything bad happen to the others. I want them to be safe. _

"Don't worry about that. If Kensuke tries anything stupid, I'll personally beat his ass to the ground." Sana assured me.

"What is this I hear, about butt kicking?" Kodama inquired cheerfully, as she came into the room.

"I was just telling Reika what I would do to Kensuke, if heattempts anything stupid. I don't want anything endangering my little brother. He's liable to get himself killed." Sana replied with a shake of her head.

"I'm sure things will turn out just fine. There's nothing to worry about just yet." Kodama stated assuredly, to comfort Sana.

---

I watched enviously from the window, as Hikari and Kensuke made their way down the street to school. I longed to be with them, to be free of my body. Struggling to breathe all the time was starting to wear on me. Deep down, all I wanted was to live an ordinary life. This running around and being on edge was ridiculous.

_What was normal anyway? There wasn't exactly a standard one could point to in answer. _

Mina crouched on the cushion beside me, an inquisitive look on her face. "Is school fun?" she inquired, in reference to Kensuke and Hikari's destination.

"Hai. (Yes.) School is an interesting and challenging experience. Once you visit, your mind will never be the same." I assured her.

"Speaking of which, missing school is not a good thing. We need to decide where you're going to go, once you're feeling stronger. Any ideas on the subject?" Kodama pointed out.

I shook my head. I hadn't given any thought to my education after leaving NERV. Kodama had a point though, schooling was important and not to be taken lightly. "None yet. I should work on that thought. Falling too far behind would be a bad thing."

Kodama produced a stack of fliers and five bottles of medication. She handed them to me and explained, "Those brochures are about area middle schools you can attend. You should look over them and formulate some idea about where you'd like to go." She suggested.

I lifted up the medicines and examined them warily. "What about these?"

"Those were provided for you, by Doctor Akagi herself. The first one is an antibiotic to prevent a lung infection and help them heal. The second one is an anti-inflammatory medication to keep your airways open. The third one is a birth control pill. The fourth one is to counteract your albinism and reduce your sensitivity to light. The last one is going to boost your red blood cell count and allow your body to take in more oxygen."

I made a nasty face at Kodama's words. Five medications, five! I wasn't even fifteen, far too young to need so many drugs in my system. This was not fair or right. Mentally, I began calculating ways to make my body stronger without damaging my lungs further. I refused to take so many medicines for the rest of my life.

Kodama smiled in amusement at my stubborn expression. Her look said it all, I needed these medicines and I would take them. My opinion didn't matter in this case. I frowned unhappily at the prospect but I comforted myself with the knowledge that they were all beneficial. It would all be worth it, if they helped me remain alive longer. "Arigato. I know these will be beneficial for me." I stated resolutely.

Sighing, I reached into the bag and pulled out the first of my five medications. I read the directions, unscrewed the lid and shook out one of the green pills into my hand. I swallowed it and quickly reached for the next one; I wanted this over with, as soon as possible.

--------------

I stepped out of the LCL and reached for the nearest towel. Efficiently, I removed the coating of LCL from my body. Dr. Akagi remained silent, while I made my way to the shower. I did not question her logic; she would do things her way. I turned on the shower and lathered the generic industrial shampoo into my hair. Next, I scrubbed my body with a soap and sponge. Then, I rinsed it all off with the warm water.

Once I was clean and dry, I made my way over to the locker, where my clean clothes lay. I hooked together my bra and pulled it into place. Then, I tugged my underwear around my waist. I lifted my skirt from the floor and zipped it closed around my waist. As I was buttoning up my blouse, Dr. Akagi spoke to me abruptly.

"Rei, I'm going to repair your joints. After all the injuries you've sustained, while pilot ofUnit Zero, they're starting to deteriorate. If this keeps up, it will interfere with your ability to pilot." She stated blandly.

Dr. Akagi must have seen the look on my face, because she began to study me closely. For my part, I was wondering why, she bothered to tell me so much. Dr. Akagi was never this talkative. Normally, she kept her reasons to herself. Something must have happened. The question was, what? I figured I would find out soon enough but that did nothing to dispel my curiosity.

"Don't look at me like that, Rei." Dr. Akagi snapped, "This operation will be minimally invasive and you'll be back on your feet by the end of the day. You don't even have to be put completely under, if you don't want to be. Local anesthetic will suffice."

"Doctor? May Ikari-kun stay with me, in the recovery room?"

I surprised myself by the daring of my own question. However, I had no regrets about asking it. Ikari-kun was one of the few people I trusted to be kind to me and see me as human. He remained the only one who cared. So, Ikari-kun was the person I wanted there, if I needed someone. Nothing would happen, while Ikari-kun was there, he would prevent it.

Dr. Akagi's face became hard and blank. I could hear the refusal coming without a word being said. Dr. Akagi was full of so much spite and malice. After a moment, she seemed to relent.

"If you must, Rei." She choked out bitterly, "Do you need him for something?"

I tried to remain focused and channel the strength I needed. For once, I drew on something both the Commander and Dr. Akagi often used. "That's not your concern."

I hated how horribly weak my voice sounded. No one would be convinced by it, not in a million years. Nonetheless, Dr. Akagi looked at me closely. The barest hint of a smile quirked her lips; she shook her head and turned around to face the window.

"Unbelievable." Dr. Akagi muttered.

I held myself very still, waiting to hear what she would say. My stomach knotted itself in fear. Would she go so far as to say no? Of course, she would. I meant nothing to her. She'd removed my happiness without a second thought. I feared how far she'd go to hurt me. I would have to handle this carefully.

"Very well. Do what you think is necessary." She said suddenly.

I remained frozen in shock for several moments. Never, did I expect that answer from Dr. Akagi. She took my request unusually well. I assumed she would yell at me, for defiance. Maybe things between the Commander and Dr. Akagi were worse, than I realized. I closed my eyes and let out an inaudible sigh of relief. Whatever the reason, I would not question it. I received the answer I wanted. Ikari-kun would be there.

"When should I report?"

"7'am sharp, tomorrow. Don't worry about school for the day. You'll be excused."

Dr. Akagi's reply surprised me. I expected the surgery and Aida's activation experiment, to be on different days. The doctor must be feeling vindictive towards me or supremely confident, about the operation. Either way, I did not trust her judgment. I expected that I would be in pain and require some medicine before climbing in Unit Zero. Another set of hands would be helpful. I was very glad; I'd requested Ikari-kun's presence. It would make things a million times easier.

I hurried to finish buttoning my shirt on and brushed my damp locks of hair from my face. Then, I left the room and headed upstairs, where the Commander was waiting to see me. I made my way to a door, on the Eva viewing level that I'd never been to before. I swiped my key card through the scanner and the lock flashed green. Slowly, the doors slid open allowing me entrance to the room.

"Rei come in. I am glad to see you." Called Commander Ikari's voice.

A wave of pungent LCL vaporwashed over me, as I stepped into the room. It took me several moments to adjust to the intense smell. I glanced around at the room, taking in the sterile details. My eyes focused on the LCL filled tank below. The shattered remains of Unit 03 drifted listlessly, in the liquid soup. Some of the pieces were too damaged to be identifiable but others were all too easy to place. The worst of all was the severed arm, which lay upside down in the LCL.

I forcibly averted my eyes to the back wall, away from the horrible sight. Memories of that fight flashed through my mind. I could hear Ikari-kun's broken sobs, while we sat in the entry plug waiting to be released. I could picture Suzuhara-san, lying in the hospital bed afterward; his body heavily bandaged to cover his injuries. The look on Horaki-san's face, as she stared at the pale form of Suzuhara-san, was the saddest thing I've ever seen.

"What do you want? Commander?"

The Commander motioned to the broken Unit Three with his hand. His glasses glinted dangerously in the fluorescent lights. "Look upon her Rei. Tell me, is the angel still there or is Doctor Akagi correct that the angel is gone."

"You do not trust the Doctor's abilities." I stated calmly.

The Commander's face did not move but I could sense his agreement with my words. I had no idea when his faith in the Doctor had begun to waiver but clearly something must have changed between them. They normally had a stable relationship between the two of them. They generally trusted the other one to take care of their respective responsibilities.

I wondered what could have changed. This proved how easy it was to break trust, especially the Commander's. The Commander's displeasure was a terrible thing; all the more reason why I had to watch my every move and not cross him. I could not afford to have the Commander focusing his wrath on me.

I turned my attention to the form of Unit Three in the LCL below. My eyes focused on each piece of Unit 03 in turn. I felt absolutely nothing from any of it. Bardiel was long dead and gone. I turned to Commander Ikari and met his gaze. "Dr. Akagi did not lie. The angel is deceased."

The Commander nodded and smiled, as if that was the answer he'd been expecting all along. He dismissed me with a backward wave of his hand. I bowed and hurried through the door before he could change his mind. I feared what would happen next if I did not get myself as far away as possible.

Free from the Commander's gaze, I made my way to the pilots lounge to think over what I'd learned. Commander Ikari and Dr. Akagi were obviously on strained terms. I wondered briefly what happened to cause this rift between them. This could be a serious problem for me. They were liable to take out their anger on me. However, this might prove useful because I could avoid a coordinated front by them.

I placed my hand on my chin and pondered through the situation. Yes, this would be quite interesting to observe. However, something still bothered me. They were rebuilding Unit 03. Did they intend to put Suzuhara-san back in the pilot's seat? I hoped not but I felt I already knew the answer. I didn't like where this led me. Suzuhara-san lost enough already. He didn't need any more pain and suffering. Horaki-san too, I knew she worried constantly since the last fight. I didn't want to put them through that agony and turmoil again.

As I considered this, an odd noise drew my attention. I edged closer to the door in an effort to see what was going on. To my surprise, I saw the Commander and Dr. Akagi glaring at each other. "As I said, I can't tonight. I have too much work to do." Dr. Akagi replied harshly.

"Aren't you lonely, I can provide you with my special brand of comfort?"

Dr. Akagi ignored his words and took a deep drag of her cigarette. She exhaled a stream of blue-grey smoke; she shook her blond hair dismissively. "Not if you want things ready for tomorrow. The dummy plug project is behind schedule as well. SO if you don't mind…"

With that, Dr. Akagi turned sharply and walked away. The Commander's face became alternately livid and desperate. He followed her with outstretched arm, attempting to stop her flight. "Please, I bring you pleasure and relieve your stress." He offered sweetly.

Dr. Akagi whirled around, a look of almost fury upon her face. "Don't lie to me. We both know you just want to 'wham bam thank you ma'am' nice and quick, to satisfy yourself." She retorted.

The Commander staggered, caught off guard by her sharp reply. Dr. Akagi marched off, out of my range of sight. I heard the click of her heals fade away. The Commander's arm dropped to his side and she sighed dejectedly. I shrunk back into my corner, as he walked away at last. I closed my eyes and sank slowly to the floor.

'_What does this mean? The Doctor is sleeping with the Commander?'_ The mental image flashing through my mind disturbed me deeply._ 'Dr. Akagi and her mother? The Commander is…' _

For the first time, I wondered if the Commander was not only heartless but insane too. It would only be a matter of time before he turned his attentionto me next. I possessed Yui's face for a reason. I didn't want my position anymore. I wanted-needed-a way out of here. I refused to allow him to touch me. He, he was evil and Adam was embedded in his hand. That made him supremely powerful and terrifying. I refused to go down easily, regardless of what he wanted. I wanted to live, to remove him from this world.

I opened my eyes and stood up carefully. I felt a new sense of determination and strength. There was only one-way to survive, I would have to defeat the sixteenth angel. Which meant, it was time to prepare. Quietly, I made my way from the room and down the hall to NERV's gym. If nothing else, this would be a good chance to figure things out.

I stepped through the doors to find a familiar face already there. Pilot Sohryu ran furiously around the jogging track. Her mane of reddish-brown hair followed in her wake. School must be out, I hadn't realized how late in the day it was. Silently, I followed Pilot Sohryu's path with my eyes, considering the possibility of joining her. Then, my eyes found the rack of rubber-coated free weights. They seemed perfect to aid me in my quest.

I quickly changed into an exercise outfit and made my wayback to the gym floor. I selected two twenty-pound weights from the rack and made my way over to the first bench I saw. With a serious expression, I lifted the weights above my head. I raised and lowered rhythmically. Soon, I'd worked up a good sweat and I felt good.

I raised the weights one more time and one slipped from my sweaty fingers. I braced myself for the pain and closed my eyes. The next thing I knew, the weight collided with my face and everything exploded in pain. I cried out in agony, as the blood began to flow from my nose. In a red blur, Pilot Sohryu appeared at my side, a frown on her face. She lifted the weight from my face and dropped it to the floor. "Mein Gott, Wondergirl. Are you trying to kill yourself by doing this without a spotter?" She demanded loudly.

I trembled helplessly from shock and blood loss, leaving me unable to answer her. Pilot Sohryu shook her head at me in disgust and pity. She reached into her bag and lifted her cell phone from within. She punched in a series of numbers and spoke into the device.

"Send a doctor, Wondergirl's lost her marbles again." She stated in exasperation.

Pilot Sohryu snapped the phone close and turned to me. "Are you okay, now? Or do I need to baby-sit you until the doctors arrive?" She inquired with displeasure.

"No, arigato, Pilot Sohryu." I whispered gratefully.

Pilot Sohryu shook her head and walked away towards the door. I watched her look both ways, before shrugging and making her way back towards me. She sat down on a nearby bench and started doing push ups. Somehow, I felt she had some sense of concern for me. There was only one reason she hadn't left yet. Pilot Sohryu truly amazed me with her loyalty. "First Child, are you hurt?"

I turned to see a medical team approaching me. I lowered my hand to reveal the new bruise on my face. One of them produced an ice pack and handed it to me. I held it to my face and sighed contentedly. The ice felt amazing against my swollen cheek. Another medic found an aspirin for my pain. I swallowed it and allowed the medics to help me to my feet. Time to see what the damage was.

"Come first –child. Dr. Akagi wishes to examine you."

"Understood."

I nodded to Pilot Sohryu before I followed them upstairs. Dr. Akagi was waiting for me, when I arrived at her office. She frowned in disproval at my face and motioned me inside. I followed her into the room and sat down on the table. She pulled out an ice pack and a bottle of antiseptic. Dr. Akagi wiped the blood of my face, and cleaned the cut on my cheek. Then she handed me the ice pack, and ordered me to press it against my injury.

"What did you do? That bruise is nasty. I want to X-Ray your face, to make sure nothing's broken."

"I dropped a weight on my face while I was exercising. It was a careless accident." I replied calmly.

Dr. Akagi shook her head and turned to program the X-Ray machine in the next room. I watched her work silently, wondering if I made the right decision. I pressed the icepack tighter to my face and closed my eyes. I sighed, reveling in the comfort the ice brought my wounded face. The pain was starting to abate, leaving my cheek throbbing. I guess this wasn't so terrible; I could live with this after all.

A few minutes later the X-Ray was developing, while Dr. Akagi left me to wait. She feared I broke something in my face when the weight struck. It appeared I would have to wait until she got the results back. While I waited, I looked out the window and watched the artificial terrain of the Geofront. The synthetic sunlight cast a hazy, orange glow on the world and caused the train to glint distantly. I sighed, figuring that I was trapped down here for the evening. The trains stopped running at sundown.

I heard footsteps rushing down the hallway and Major Katsuragi burst into the room. She took one look at me and stopped dead in her tracks. "Ritsu, is Rei alright? What happened to you?"

Dr. Akagi appeared from the next room, where she'd been developing the X-Ray film. "Relax Misato. Rei is fine. She accidentally dropped a weigh on her face while exercising. I don't think the damage is serious but I'm developing some X-Rays to be sure." She assured her.

Major Katsuragi sighed in relief at the Doctor's words. She nodded gratefully to Dr. Akagi and turned her gaze on me. The Major approached me, a look of concern upon her face. Tentatively, she reached out her arms and embraced me in a sisterly fashion. For a minute I sat completely stunned, the Major worried about me? I was amazed, and relieved she showed such interest in me. I wasn't used to relying on anyone else but myself. The Major released me and smiled warmly. "Take care, okay? I don't want you getting hurt. I prefer to have all my Children in one piece."

I nodded in response to her words, touched by the genuine unease I heard. I wished I knew something to comfort her but that wasn't something I could do. So I settled for allowing a hint of a smile to cross my face. Major Katsuragi beamed back cheerfully. Behind her, Dr. Akagi shook her head in skepticism. When she received no response, the Doctor disappeared into the next room. I heard her moving around, continuing to develop the X-Ray film of myface. I wondered what the results would show.

A few moments later, she reappeared with the X-Ray in hand. She placed it on the light box and pressed the switch. I frowned at the imaged revealed upon the wall. There was a distinct white line along my cheek and I knew exactly what it was.

"Better then I expected. It appears you have a minor fracture of your right cheek. It appears clean so I believe you'll be fine, if you keep it iced. You may take an Advil or Ibuprofen for the pain. There's nothing else I can do for you."

Dr. Akagi waved her hand to dismiss me and yanked the X-Ray down. I rose to my feet, bowed respectfully and left the room. Dr. Akagi gave me everything she could; now I needed to disappear before she turned angry. I slipped out the door to find Ikari-kun waiting for me. He looked distressed by the swollen bruise on my face. He hurried to my side and took my hands in his.

"Ayanami-san, what happened?"

Gingerly, he touched my face, feeling the injury carefully. I flinched slightly at the flash of pain but did not turn away from Ikari-kun. His blue eyes held me motionless before his gaze. Millions of words I wanted to say became trapped in my mind, as I struggled to find the right answer to his unspoken question and admonishment.

"You need to be gentler with Rei, Ritsu. She acts strong but she's only a fourteen-year-old girl. Show her some humanity." Major Katsuragi reproached Dr. Akagi.

"Rei will be fifteen soon. I see no need to coddle her or the other pilots." Dr. Akagi replied dryly.

I could see Major Katsuragi's angry, frustrated expression in my mind. Ikari-kun, who faced the cracked door behind me, probably had an excellent view of the combative women. Ikari-kun and I glanced at each other, wondering what Major Katsuragi would say to Doctor Akagi's words.

"Ritsuko Akagi, you're heartless. I never thought I'd hear such words from you. They're children and if you can't comprehend that, you're not fit to work here. Cutting them some slack and showing some genuine human concern is not coddling them. It's only right, considering they're saving the world!" The Major shot back in cold fury.

"Well, you're not exactly mother of the year. I wouldn't be surprised if the Commanders don't take Shinji and Asuka away from you. Your drunken, alcoholic tendencies are embarrassing." Doctor Akagi replied acidly.

**SMACK**

"How dare you…" Major Katsuragi seethed.

Ikari-kun gripped my hand and pulled me down the hallway after him. We rounded the corner moments before Major Katsuragi slammed Dr. Akagi's door closedand stormed off. Ikari-kun and I waited for her to disappear before we dared to move. We sighed in relief and smiled weakly at each other.

"Ayanami-san, have you ever eaten ice-cream?"

"No, why?"

"I found this great ice-cream shop and I thought, we might go visit."

I nodded in approval of Ikari-kun's suggestion. Ice Cream sounded pleasant and I wanted to taste it for myself. Eagerly, I followed Ikari-kun from NERV to the streets of Tokyo III. Luckily, we'd caught the last train out of NERV to the surface world. The stars twinkled above us as we stepped off the train into the center of the city. The wind whispered past us, chilling our bodies as it went. Ikari-kun took my hand and led the way to our destination.

Ten minutes later, we walked into a small brick building, hidden in midst of Tokyo III's overpowering skyscrapers. The sign over the door proclaimed it, _Toro's Old-Fashioned Ice Cream_. An odd name, I decided, but that wasn't something for me to be worrying about. I was here to sample the ice cream. This should be an enlightening experience.

Ikari-kun directed my attention to the dome shaped windows, where one might view the ice cream selection. I looked down, wondering which one to choose, they all looked so different. Ikari-kun, meanwhile, headed for the cookie dough ice cream. When he realized I hadn't followed him, he promptly returned to my side.

"Anything look appealing to you, Ayanami-san?"

"I'm unsure…I've never eaten ice cream before. What flavor do you recommend, Ikari-kun?" I inquired hopefully.

I had no idea what I was doing and Ikari-kun did, so I needed his guidance. Ikari-kun pointed towards the cookie dough he wanted. "Why don't we both get one of those?" He suggested.

"Hai. I like that idea."

"Ikari-kun reached into his pocket and counted out the appropriate amount of yen from within. He handed it to the man behind the counter. "Two cones with the cookie dough, please."

The man handed Ikari-kun his order and he held one of the cones to me. I took it gingerly in both hands, feeling the cones rough texture against my skin. Ikari-kun motioned to the tables outside and I followed him to them. I sat down in one chair and Ikari-kun took the other. There we remained for the longest time, licking our ice cream together in perfect peace. The ice cream was delicious, cold, sweet and creamy. I was glad I'd come here with Ikari-kun.

Ikari-kun smiled at the look of contentment upon my face, as he declared it adorable. I blushed and quickly turned my attention to the stars. They glittered peacefully above me in the blackness of the evening sky. Ikari-kun followed my gaze up to the heavens. I looked over at Ikari-kun and smiled contentedly. I truly enjoyed this place. Here, nothing mattered; the evening traffic and pedestrians became a simple background noise. Ikari-kun's presence made this even more special.

When we finished Ikari-kun carried the trash away and came back for me. He held out his hand and I accepted it gratefully. Ikari-kun pulled me to my feet and we started the walk back home. We held hands, standing side by side. There was little chance of anyone seeing us now, not even the Section Two agents who guarded us. We giggled nervously and looked around. Ikari-kun squeezed my hand reassuringly and I relaxed under his touch.

Behind us tires squealed noisily and headlights flashed over our bodies. A car pulled up beside us and came to a stop. The window rolled down to reveal the face of Major Katsuragi. She still seemed frazzled but wasn't nearly as mad as she was earlier.

"Hop in guys. I'll give you a ride home." She called cheerily.

We followed her directions and climbed into the back seat of her car. We buckled ourselves in and braced for the Major Katsuragi's erratic driving. The Major stepped on the gas and moved sharply back into traffic. After several jerky moments, we settled into a steady speed. The tension went out of her face and she began to hum along to the radio. Ikari-kun and I eased our grip on the armrests slightly. The Major released her right hand from the wheel and lifted a white envelop from the passenger's seat. She held it out to me, eager that I should open it.

"Official orders for tomorrow. I convinced them to give you an extra fifteen minutes to prepare for your role in the testing." She explained.

"Understood." I replied evenly.

I carefully pealed open the envelope and removed the contents in my hands. Two pieces of paper and a small business card fell into my grasp. I unfolded the first sheet and smoothed it on my lap. The official timetable for tomorrow was typed out upon it. The doctor and both Commanders signed it. Nothing I wasn't used to, as part of standard NERV procedure. I turned to the second paper in my hands.

To my dismay, it was an eviction notice. My apartment was being demolished at the end of the next month. I had no idea what I would do now. There was only one choice for me; I needed somewhere new to live. Ikari-kun looked at me with concern, his eyes gentle with understanding.

"What's wrong, Ayanami-san?"

"I've been expelled from my home." I uttered.

The Major glanced back at us, a serious expression on her face. "That business card is for Yuki Higurashi. She owns the apartment building where I live. You should get in touch with her. There's an empty apartment a few doors from mine, you could rent."

"Arigato, Major Katsuragi." I replied with genuine gratitude.

Major Katsuragi smiled in acceptance of my words before turning back to the road before her. I turned over the business card in my hand and read the info upon it. I felt the need to know everything I could about Yuki Higurashi before I approached her. It helped ease the nervousness I felt at the situation. I'd need to impress her if I was to obtain a new residence.

---**------------------------------------------------------------------**

**Author's Notes:**

Please Review, they are highly appriciated.

I don't own Eva but all original characters and events are mine!!! Nuf said. Also, please don't be offended by references to brand name products. You can only make my life more miserable by suing me. Think of it as a free plug.

I'm sorry for the lack of comments under the last chapter. Sesshy was short on time and eager to post. XP Anyhow, new year, new begining. Right?

In Chapter 17: Kensuke gets the chance to show his stuff.

_Aida-san's speckled eyes focused on me. He beamed broadly and rushed across the entry plug, at breakneck speed. I tensed; feeling afraid that Aida-san would slip, on the entry plug's smooth floor. To my relief, he reached my side without incident. If one was to judge, by the smile on his face, Aida-san wasn't the least bit afraid. He looked supremely confident and pleased. I wanted to take some of that happiness and absorb it into my being, so I might be free from fear. _


	21. Power to the Sixth

* * *

The Girl in White Bandages: The True Confessions of Ayanami Rei

_**Ch. 17 Power to the Sixth**_

_By Sesshy's Girl 00_

* * *

"Baka-Shinji, where's my breakfast? Get your lazy butt out of bed!" Cried Pilot Soryu's irritated voice.

I groaned and buried my head under the blanket. It was way to early for such commotion. The sun remained below the horizon and every fiber of my being desired more sleep. What was Pilot Soryu doing awake anyway? This was unlike her. At first, it seemed Ikari-kun would not respond and I was drifting off once more. Unfortunately, Pilot Soryu began pounding on Ikari-kun's door again.

"You have five seconds to get out here or I'm coming in!" She hollered.

I cringed, at the painfully loud sound of Pilot Soryu's voice. I was beginning to regret staying at Major Katsuragi's place. Not that I'd been given much choice in the matter. Major Katsuragi had all but kidnapped me after Ikari-kun and I were picked up.

A door slammed open and Major Katsuragi's voice rang out. "Asuka pipe down. Do you know what time it is? If you're hungry, make something yourself." She snapped irritably.

"Misato are you serious? After all that talk about getting up at 6 a.m.! Look at you, hung over and completely out of your mind!" Pilot Soryu shot back defiantly.

**Agggggggggg!!**

Pilot Soryu screamed out in anger and stomped off down the corridor. A few moments later, I heard another door open and Ikari-kun stumbled groggily into the hallway. He made his way down it, to the bathroom and disappeared inside. Meanwhile, Pilot Soryu returned to her own room and began rummaging around inside her closet. I lay completely still, willing my body to return to sleep. My mind stubbornly refused to comply, so I lay caught between worlds.

"Here. Get moving, Wondergirl." Pilot Soryu growled, as she dropped a pile of clothes before me.

Reluctantly, I raised my head from my makeshift bed, as Ikari-kun entered the room. He smiled wearily in greeting and turned for the kitchen. I detangled myself from futon and blankets, before following him. Ikari-kun was rummaging in the pantry, when I entered the room. "Is there anything I can do to assist you?" I inquired quietly.

"Konnichiwa, Ayanami-san. I thought you weren't supposed to eat, before the operation. You don't have to help me."

"I don't mind Ikari-kun. I am unable to shower, until Pilot Soryu is done."

Ikari-kun cocked his head towards the bathroom and listened to the sound of the running water. Then, he handed me a box of dried chicken broth and a measuring cup. "I trust you can handle this?" He inquired with amusement.

We both knew, that I was not good around sharp objects. I had the unfortunate habit of slicing myself, when I tried to chop something up. So, I had no hard feelings about being relegated to preparing the water. I entertained no aspirations of becoming a chef anyway. Ikari-kun's assistant was more then enough for me.

I filled the cooking pot with water and added the dried chicken stock. I placed it on the burner and turned on the heat. Ikari-kun nodded approvingly and then returned to cutting up the vegetables. He hummed pleasantly, as his hands moved through his motions swiftly. I lifted the cube of tofu and began to carefully separate it, into little pieces. These I dropped into the broth and I stirred the mixture together.

"Ikari-kun, did you see the Suzuhara siblings yesterday? How did things go for them?" I inquired softly.

Ikari-kun nodded and smiled confidently. "Yukari's operation went well. She was only just waking up, when I left but I think that new heart was helping her already. Toji was unhappy because he needed to leave her, for his visit with the prosthetics man. He didn't want to leave his sister, until Hikari and Kensuke promised they'd stay, until he was done."

"That was very considerate of them. I'm glad to hear such kindness still exists." I murmured in gratitude.

"It gets better. Someone must have gotten the message, that Yukari and Toji are siblings. They're being moved into the same room today. Yukari's half was set up yesterday after school by, Asuka and Hikari." Ikari-kun replied

"That is wonderful news."

Ikari-kun lifted the rice noodles off the counter and passed them to me. I carefully opened the cellophane packaging and removed them from within. I dropped them into the now boiling water and stirred it all together. Ikari-kun tossed in the vegetables and nodded appreciatively at our creation. While we waited for the soup to cook, Ikari-kun handed me a package of seaweed. I lay it out on the cutting board. Then, Ikari-kun spread the rice on top.

I added the vegetables and bean paste on top of the mixture; next Ikari-kun rolled it all together in one role. I handed him a knife and he sliced the mega roll into several smaller, bite-seized sushi rolls. I organized them on a plate, while Ikari-kun stirred the soup. He dished it out into three bowls and placed them on a tray. I placed the plate of sushi and three pairs of chopsticks beside them. Finally, Ikari-kun lifted it into his arms and moved to carry the tray out to the dinning room, with me right behind him.

Unfortunately, Pilot Soryu stood in our way. She glared down at our efforts, with distaste and revulsion. "What is this stuff? Where's breakfast?" Pilot Soryu demanded.

"This, this is breakfast, Asuka." Ikari-kun stammered.

Pilot Soryu shook her head and marched past us, into the kitchen. "That is not breakfast. Breakfast includes real, _satisfying_, food like eggs, bacon, pancakes and toast." She retorted.

With an impatient wave of her hands, she shoed us from the kitchen and slammed the door close. We could hear her moving around inside, followed by the smell of something cooking. I looked over at Ikari-kun and our eyes met momentarily.

"Should we…?" Ikari-kun began.

"No. Pilot Soryu is best left alone. She can't cause too much trouble, right?"

Ikari-kun nodded in agreement and we made our way to the dining room. He disappeared into Major Katsuragi room, while I set the table. I could hear him moving around and attempting to rouse the Major. After several long minutes, he reappeared in the doorway. Behind him, Major Katsuragi sat blinking groggily on her futon. She yawned hugely, as Ikari-kun closed the door. He shook his head and approached my side.

"She'll be out in a few minutes. We should go ahead and start eating." He assured me.

"Ikari-kun? I may not eat."

Ikari-kun blushed and bowed slightly, in apology to me. I accepted his words and made for the clothes, Pilot Soryu left for me. I gathered them in my arms and motioned towards the bathroom. "Unless there is a reason to stay; I shall bathe, now." I offered.

Ikari-kun gave me a smile of consent and motioned for me to be on my way. Before I could disappear, however, Pilot Soryu arrived from the kitchen. She carried three plates of fluffy, steaming, yellow eggs. With one look at her electric, blue eyes, I knew that I wouldn't be going far just yet.

"Have you ever eaten eggs, Wondergirl?" She taunted me.

I shook my head in the negative. I didn't have much exposure to western food, although it was becoming increasingly popular in recent years. There was a simple reason for this, the large amount of meat in western cooking. Ikari-kun understood my position but Pilot Soryu didn't seem to. She frequently complained about the lack of meat in my diet.

"No."

Pilot Soryu held out one of the plates for me. She smiled eagerly and motioned for me to pick up one of the forks. "Take a bite, Wondergirl. They're better fresh." Pilot Soryu assured me.

Ikari-kun shook his head and attempted to intervene. "Asuka, she's not allowed to eat today." He pointed out.

Pilot Soryu smirked and patted Ikari-kun on his head. "One little bite won't kill her, baka. That's all I'm asking of her."

One bite of egg? That didn't sound too terrible. I accepted the fork, from Pilot Soryu and took a piece of egg off the plate. I examined it critically, wondering what it would be like. Well, only one-way to find out. I opened my mouth and placed the egg inside. To my surprise, I found scrambled eggs were actually quite delicious. Clearly, I had a lot to learn. Maybe it was time to try something other than my usual fare. Of course, that depended on if I got a new kitchen to go with my new place.

I thanked Pilot Soryu for allowing me to sample her cooking, before I disappeared into the bathroom. There was no time to waste if we were picking up Aida-san and getting me to the NERV medical center in time.

* * *

I blinked sleepily in the soft light. I sighed in contently at the smell of sakura wafting through the air. The warm spring breeze swirled around me, tugging at the ends of my blue hair. I could smell fresh dirt and water in the air, mixing with the sakura. After several pleasant moments, the sound of a soft voice broke the silence.

"So you're giving up on her for good."

After a moment of confusion, I recognized Sub-Commander Fuyutsuki's voice as the speaker's. I turned to find the source of the voice and found it directly behind me. The Sub-Commander stood near Yui Ikari. The pair watched a baby Ikari-kun as he napped in her arms. Yui smiled lovingly upon him before raising her head to answer Sub-Commander Fuyutsuki's question.

"I'm afraid I have no choice. She is simply too dangerous. I will not put another life in jeopardy. I've learned all I can from her. Now I must concentrate on the other one."

"What will you do with her then? You can't simply destroy one of them…can you?"

"Of course not. I have a plan to restrain her. Maybe someday there come the power to control her beastly nature. Until then…"

"Gendo told me you had a plan to tame Unit Zero. Is there something wrong with it, Yui?"

Wait, the original plans for me were originally Yui's. I always assumed that he created me on his own. However, this made sense, Yui had the capability and knowledge to create a being like me. She'd designed the Evangelion units on her own after all. Now, I understood why she hated me so.

"Hai. I cannot in good conscience go through with my own solution. It…it's simply wrong and too horrible."

* * *

My body throbbed painfully, as I was wheeled to the recovery room. I wondered how long I had, before the anesthetic wore off and the pain became real. Major Katsuragi seemed sympathetic to my cause and seen to it thatI'd gotten extra medicine, plus a few more minutes to change. I didn't know how much of a difference that would make but I was glad she cared enough to try. She remained relatively untouched, by the dehumanizing effect NERV had on so many people.

When we reached the door, to my designated recovery room, Ikari-kun opened it for me. To my surprise and relief, he was already dressed in his plug suit and ready to go. Ikari-kun held the door wide, allowing the nurses to push me inside. He smiled encouragingly at me, as the nurses left the room. Ikari-kun sat down beside me and glanced over my new injuries with a worried expression.

"How do you feel?" He asked, as his hand covered mine.

"I'm a little sore at the moment. I think it will hurt worse, once the sedative is gone."

Ikari-kin frowned slightly and his eyes narrowed in anger. "My father's messing with you. He has no heart."

There was a time when I would have become angry, over such a statement but lately; I was beyond such reactions. This was because of my change of view. I no longer saw the Commander as a positive presence in my life. I saw how he kept me prisoner and controlled my life. He completely ignored everything, which mattered to me. Worst still, he ordered Reika's death in cold blood. Some days, I wondered if he had a heart or soul. Usually, the answer was no. I hated him with all my heart. One day, when I regained my mother's power, he would feel my wrath.

"No, you once again forget that you do not know your father. He is a complex individual." I stated calmly.

The words were like poison in my mouth but I forced myself to say them anyway. Ikari-kun needed to be wary of the Commander's fury. It was not an easy thing to be targeted by. The Commander had ways of dealing with his enemies. Elimination. I felt it was my place to protect him from that, since I was the one with inside knowledge. At least my time with the Commander would be put to good use, protecting he who mattered most to me.

Thankfully, Ikari-kun took my hint without another word being said. He sighed and leaned his head back, to look at the ceiling. He muttered something under his breath and turned to face me. His smile was calm and supportive. I relaxed instantly under his gaze. Quietly, he passed me a green bento box and a pair of chopsticks. I opened it up, to find some vegetarian sushi, two rice balls, bean paste and tofu cubes. I smiled my thanks, at him and he shrugged.

"I thought you would appreciate something to eat, before Kensuke's tests."

"Arigato, this looks delicious."

Ikari-kun waved me off and encouraged me to eat. I didn't need further encouragement. I dug into my meal with great relish. I had been forbidden to eat today, so I was understandably starved. All to soon, my meal was gone. My blood sugar was stabilizing but I was still hungry.

Ikari-kun smiled happily to himself. "Feel better now, Ayanami?"

I nodded in the affirmative. "Hai, Arigato, Ikari-kun."

"Don't mention it. We need to look out for one another, since they won't."

I smiled in agreement. None of us had a real family to go home to. So, we needed to ban together, create our own support system or perish alone. I decided that I would not live my life that way. I wanted friends and the opportunity to experience the outside world, even if HE did not approve. More importantly, I had Ikari-kun to think of. I refused to allow anything bad to happen to either of us because it would cause him great pain. I would not hurt him, if at all possible.

A knock at the door signaled the Major's arrival. She entered with her usual NERV briskness and handed me one of Unit Zero's plug suits. I knew what this meant; it was time to see what Aida-san could do. Major Katsuragi motioned for Ikari-kun to leave and began to rummage in one of the cabinets. Ikari-kun smiled at me, before stepping out the door, one of the folding chairs in hand. I smiled back as I watched him go. He never went far, if I needed him.

Major Katsuragi handed me a plastic cup, with two pills inside. One was large and white, while the other was small and red. I examined them both, before turning to Major Katsuragi for direction. She insisted I take them now, since they would help with the pain and swelling. I realized then, she must have pestered Dr. Akagi or one of the medical personnel into giving her this information. I had someone else on my side after all. That meant I was worth something in this life. The thought made me feel content on the inside. I was not alone, no matter what the Commander wanted me to believe.

I swallowed both pills the Major gave me, while she prepared the plug suit to go on my body. Major Katsuragi unwrapped my plug suit and laid it out on the bed beside me. Then, she ordered me to raise my arms, so she might pull off the shirt half of my hospital attire. Next, she took hold of my hospital pants and gently slid them off my legs. I wiggled my fingers and toes, testing how much strength they had. My reaction time was still sluggish but I was starting to regain feeling.

Once Major Katsuragi had the back of the plug suit open; she slid my feet into place. Working carefully but quickly, she tugged it up on both legs. Then, she brought it over my butt and slid my arms into place. Finally, she hooked up the back and I pressed the air release button, on my wrist. With a hiss, the plug suit fit itself to my body. I placed the A-10 neural-connector band on my head and I was ready.

Major Katsuragi called Ikari-kun in and wished us luck, before she left for the command center. Ikari-kun watched her go, with a mix of bemusement and gratitude. Major Katsuragi was an interesting individual. She was almost 100 percentprofessional at work but the opposite at home. It caused much speculation at school, some of which wasn't so pleasant but mostly it was good humored. Some days, I didn't know how anyone could maintain such disconnect but I guess that's how she managed to survive.

Ikari-kun sat down beside me and I could read the worry on his face. I placed my hand over his and tried to think comforting thoughts. "Aida-san will be fine. I'll be with him for the first test. Plus, Pilot Soryu and you will be there, to prevent anything from going wrong." I assured him calmly.

I wished I could be as confident as I sounded; however the image of an injured Suzuhara-san was vivid in my mind. There was still a lot that could go wrong, even with all the precautions in place. Unit Zero was the biggest unknown to me. Mentally, she remained highly unstable because of her patchwork make-up. I knew I shouldn't be too upset about making her, because it was the only way I could pilot; the reason for my existence. We were made for one another.

"Come, its time. Let's go give my dad a good show and prove our worth to him."

I nodded and held my arm out to Ikari-kun. He placed it around his neck and then wrapped his arm about my waist. I took a breath, to brace myself for the next step. With a grunt of effort, Ikari-kun pulled me to my feet. My knees cried out in protest and buckled under me. I tightened my grip on Ikari-kun to keep myself upright. He held me vertical, as I struggled to make my knees cooperate with me. At last, I was standing on both legs.

"You okay, now?" Ikari-kun asked, with deep concern. "Please, don't show weakness; he'll only use it against you."

I nodded, perfectly comprehending what he meant. The Commander loved to exploit weakness at any opportunity. Remaining strong was the only way to survive his gaze. I felt grateful Ikari-kun had learned this fact. He was beginning to see the difficulty of the situation. I hoped he would be more careful because I didn't want anything to happen to him. I had no doubt that the Commander was not above hurting Ikari-kun, especially since he'd done so in the past. It was only a matter of time.

Ikari-kun helped me hobble to the Eva cages, where today's activates were to be held. When we arrived at the elevators, Pilot Soryu was waiting outside them for us. It brought a smile to my face to know that she still honored our tradition of riding the elevator together. Pilot Soryu glared, as Ikari-kun and I came around the corner but her eyes held her relief. She jumped to her feet and hurried over to us.

"It's about time. You two are so slow." She snapped irritably.

"Arigato, Pilot Soryu. We didn't mean to keep you waiting." I murmured. "Where is Aida-san?"

Pilot Soryu relaxed, just slightly, at my words. "The last time I saw technology freak, he was still in the dressing room, drooling over his new plug suit." She scoffed.

Ikari-kun coughed, to cover his laughter and turned aside. In my head, I could see what Pilot Soryu described and I understood why he found it amusing. Ikari-kun suggested that the three of us go up to the Evas and see that everything was ready. Then, he would return to check on Aida-san. Pilot Soryu happily agreed with the plan, because she was more comfortable dealing with Unit Two, than the newest pilot. With Ikari-kun's help, the three of us boarded the elevator and rode our way to the top.

Pilot Soryu left first, heading for Unit Two. Ikari-kun and I watched her go in silence. We were glad; she was in a good mood and on our side. A disgruntled Pilot Soryu became unpleasant company. For now, things looked under control. Knowing this, I felt better already. Even if the unthinkable happened, there were measures in place to prevent a complete disaster.

Ikari-kun nodded encouragingly at me and we set off for Unit Zero. My large, blue twin dominated the far right cage in the room. Her single red eye appeared to be harmlessly dark, but I knew how easily that would change. Unit Zero was the original Evangelion design-Yui's second child. It was the most dangerous one of all and left incomplete for a reason, to be finished by me. I didn't blame her for leaving Unit Zero as she did. She never expected my arrival.

He changed all of that.

Now, I was irrevocably bound to Unit Zero. She was my connection…

Ikari-kun helped me cover the distance to the stair steps, which lead up to Unit Zero's entry plug. I starred up at the steep stairway, wondering if my knees could handle them. Ikari-kun looked down at me, taking in the expression on my face. He squeezed my hand and nodded assuredly. I took strength from Ikari-kun's confidence and mounted the stairs. Ikari-kun kept **me** upright, while I slowly climbed my way to the top.

It was easier, than I feared. The painkillers must be working. My knees were completely numb. This made my legs wobbly but I was glad not to feel them. They were easily ignored, when they no longer hurt. Any pain, I might have felt, was promptly forced to the back of my mind. So, I quickly reached the top and had only to enter Unit Zero's entry plug, to be ready.

Ikari-kun aided me in stepping over the threshold. Once inside, I leaned against the walls, tiredness making my limbs to feel heavy. The thick scent of LCL hung in the air, causing me to feel nauseous. Waves of pain radiated from my knees to the rest of my body. I closed my eyes and focused on my breathing. Momentarily, I thought I was about to collapse. I felt Ikari-kun watching me, a worried expression on his face.

"Are you alright? Do you need me to carry you to the seat?"

For a moment, I was caught off guard by Ikari-kun's question. For the last twenty minutes, we'd both been acting our professional best. This was the closest physical contact we'd allowed, since the night at the Aida residence. We found it awkward to do anything else. I looked around, realizing what Ikari-kun and my subconscious knew. The entry plugs were dark and before activation, contained no monitoring equipment. It came on when Evangelion powered up. "Hai. I would appreciate it, if you would."

Ikari-kun leaned down and placed one arm behind my legs. Smoothly, he lifted me gently into his arms. I had not been held this way, since the day we met. It felt safe and secure here. Ikari-kun would make sure I remained unharmed. I relaxed and rested my head against his shoulder, trusting that everything would be all right. Ikari-kun waited until I was comfortable before he moved.

Ikari-kun carried me across the entry plug, to the pilot chair, which rested halfway down the entry plug's length. He hummed softly and the soothing notes of 'Ode to Joy' filled the air. I found myself following along, hoping the moment would last. I did not wish to return to the pain of my everyday life. I want to remain here immersed in Ikari-kun's company. This was the place I felt protected and cared about for who I was, not what I was. He loved me for me, yet I was forced to remember, I denied him the truth about me. I felt bad for keeping silent; I wanted to tell him all but I feared the Commander's response.

I refused to put Ikari-kun in the position to be harmed. I wouldrather protect my secret, than allow anything to happen. Someday, somehow, I promised myself that I would tell Ikari-kun everything. It was the right thing to do. Ikari-kun deserved to hear the whole truth but more then that, I wanted to tell him. I had no desire to hurt him but I wanted him to know reality.

Suddenly, a radical idea came to me. Dr. Akagi would know how to order the Section Two guards off for a time. When the time came, I could turn to her for help. With trepidation but little choice in the matter, I would seek out the blond scientist.

I only had one chance to get this right. After that, it became an even more risky proposition. So, I would wait until I had the perfect opportunity, before I approached Dr. Akagi. I hoped this would work out for the best. I don't know what I'd do, if this didn't work out. A broken heart? Death? Either were possibilities, as were a million probable, horrible options in between. However, I chose to hazard it. Ikari-kun meant more to me, then the Commander.

Ikari-kun placed me in the pilot's chair and I sank gratefully into it. These seats were not deigned to be cushy, however, they were form fitting and comfortable. I sighed and closed my eyes for a moment, relaxing into place. Unit Zero wasn't horrifying, at the moment. She seemed, instead, a comfortable and protective place. I could rely on her to help me and keep my secrets. It felt odd, I normally helped her most of the time, not the other way around.

"Ikari-kun, I promise. One day, you will know all."

Ikari-kun looked at me in surprise. He blinked several times and then shook his head in an emphatic no. He leaned over and kissed me lightly on the forehead. I tightened my grip on Ikari-kun, reluctant to let him go. It suddenly became extremely important, that he understand how things stood. I prayed my honesty wouldn't scare him away. I still wanted-needed- him to continue caring. There was no way I could go on other wise. He gave me a reason, a purpose, to fight for my own life, as well as others.

One might call it sad, I put so much on another but I knew he relied on me equally. I kept him sane, and confirmed his reason for fighting. He knew I'd be there for him, with care and kindness, when no one else would. That was why; I'd chosen to trust him with everything. Anything was better thanbeing alone, the way I was before.

"Are you sure? I don't want him to-" Ikari-kun's voice trailed off uncertainly.

"I will be cautious, so I don't know how soon but one day; I will show you what NERV hides." I assured him.

Ikari-kun wrapped me tightly in his embrace. His body trembled slightly with nervousness. Instantly, I felt bad for making him worry so. I never intended to cause him distress. One day, I would find the secret to getting things right. Of course, that was assuming I survived that long. I did not intend to die but I was fated to depart this life. In my mind, there was no way I would go out so easily. I intended to live, until the end. No matter what the Commander wanted.

I bowed my head and tried to find the words, to answer Ikari-kun's question. It was hard to explain myself to him. I don't know why Ikari-kun caused me to become so tongue-tied. Maybe it was because I cared about what he though of my words and actions. I preferred he never think ill of me because I needed the love he carried for me. His love was a balm for my pain and encouragement to survive. I had to believe in the future.

I looked up at Ikari-kun, what I needed to say to him in my head. "I protect you because seeing you hurt is too painful. If it were up to me, you would probably know already."

Ikari-kun shook his head. "You don't have to get into trouble for me. I don't want you to get hurt."

"Do not worry. I will not give you cause to fear for my safety." I promised him.

Ikari-kun smiled and embraced me once more. I held him as tightly as possible and buried my face in his shoulder. I didn't want him to leave just yet. I knew I was worrying too much but it was impossible. I must trust Unit Zero. Otherwise, I would be a nervous wreck.

I opened my eyes and took a quick look around. No one was watching; it was safe. Before I could lose my nerve, I placed a quick kiss on Ikari-kun's lips. To my relief, Ikari-kun kissed me back. His soft lips were as eager as my own. I closed my eyes and savored the moment, because I understood how rare it was. I wished to enjoy every second.

Reluctantly, I released him from my grip. Ikari-kun nodded and smiled slightly, before disappearing from the plug. I sighed and focused my mind on Unit Zero. Although I couldn't feel her presence clearly, I knew she was there. I believed she could sense me too. Maybe, it was a result of our close connection. Still, It was odd to be surrounded and yet not…

Time.

The sound, of footsteps in the doorway, interrupted my thoughts. I turned my head, to see Aida-san standing there. He looked around, squinting in the darkness to make out the details. This allowed me an opportunity to take in his plug suit. It was olive green, with black trim. The effect created a military looking uniform. That would please Aida-san to no end. I could only imagine how ecstatic he was, to be an Eva pilot. Aida-san would be like a child in a candy store.

"Come in, Aida-san." I called out.

Aida-san's speckled eyes focused on me. He beamed broadly and rushed across the entry plug, at breakneck speed. I tensed; feeling afraid that Aida-san would slip on the entry plug's smooth floor. To my relief, he reached my side without incident. If one was to judge, by the smile on his face, Aida-san wasn't the least bit afraid. He looked supremely confident and pleased. I wanted to take some of that happiness and absorb it into my being, so I might be free from fear.

Aida-san's eyes focused on me with concern. He studied me intently, searching my face for something he wanted to see. I tried to smile back and give him the correct answer. However, he didn't seem convinced. I straightened myself up and motioned to the companion chair. Aida-san nodded and sat down quickly. Then, he leaned over and looked closely at me.

"Are you sure you're okay? You're awfully pale."

"I will be fine Aida-san. Piloting Eva today will not be physically demanding." I assured him.

Despite my brave words, I was not fearless. Unit Zero was unpredictable but I trusted her. She hadn't failed me, yet. Today was no different. Aida-san relaxed with a nod of his head. I watched him cast his eyes about the room, taking in the details. I followed his gaze, noticing the minute details I hadn't seen since my first day. Yui's vision showed through her surviving work, despite her decade long absence.

"Ayanami, this place-the entry plug- feels like you. Have you ever noticed that?"

I knew Unit Zero quite well. I was even aware of her presence and why she felt the way she did. Our awareness, our conscious minds stemmed from the same source. My mind might be the genesis but she had begun to form her own identity. It was astounding to see what she did with it and know I began it all. The strangest part was Unit Zero's recent fascination with Aida-san. I wondered what he would think, when he noticed.

There was no time to reflect more. I could hear the gears turn and the rub of metal on metal, as the plug slid into Unit Zero's back. Any moment now, LCL would flood in, from the many vents that lined the plug's side. It was almost too predictable. I closed my eyes and counted the seconds down, in my head. Right on queue, the rush of LCL became audible.

Behind me Aida-san inhaled sharply. "This is so awesome!" He whispered excitedly.

"I didn't realize what an exciting marvel this is." I murmured.

"That's because you've done this for years. I can't believe how lucky you and Asuka are!" Aida-san exclaimed.

I almost told him the honest truth; we were not fortunate. There was nothing wonderful or glamorous about it. Our lives were heavily regimented and monitored 24/7. Hours of a day were frequently spent submerged in LCL or training in the gym. Then, there was danger's constant presence and the threat of death, which hung daily over our heads.

I didn't tell him any of this, however. Aida-san would learn it all soon enough. I had not the heart, to mar this experience for him. No one else received such an opportunity, so he at least deserved a chance. I knew Ikari-kun would agree, so, in a way, this was for him too because I couldn't take back our first fight together. It remained a source of pain I wish I could undo.

The LCL circled both our waists and was rising up our chest. It was time to warn Aida-san about the next part. I wasn't sure how much he remembered. "Aida-san, you must relax and breathe. The LCL won't hurt you, unless you fight it."

"Are you sure? It hurt last time. I couldn't breath and my lungs burned."

"It will be uncomfortable at first but if you remain calm, nothing will happen."

Aida-san relaxed and prepared to inhale the rising LCL. I closed my eyes and laid my head against the headrest. I felt a sense of calm flowing through my body. There was a feeling of oneness and connectedness to Eva and Aida-san. A sharp prickling ran down my spinal column, as all three of our minds melded together. Aida-san shivered at the close contact, finding it uncomfortable.

_Hello, sister. You brought someone new with you._

I wasn't surprised by how quickly Unit Zero realized something different was going today on today. I expected noting less from my dark sister. There was a reason we were related. My mind wandered over recent events, allowing Unit Zero to absorb them too. In the background I was aware of her going through Aida-san's psyche as well. I concentrated on remaining relaxed and open-minded. There was nothing in here to harm me.

"Ayanami, I never knew you loved Shinji so much."

I blushed red in embarrassment unaware my thoughts were so obvious. I hadn't realized Aida-san could pick up upon my secret feelings for Ikari-kun. How was I supposed to explain myself to him? I wasn't sure if I could. Ikari-kun occupied a special place in my heart and I wished to protect him from the Commander. Abruptly, I realized how sad it was that Ikari-kun's own father was a threat to him. It should not be this way; parents must look out for their children's safety. I suppose in some twisted way the Commander tried to convince himself otherwise but I knew his actions to be unquestionably selfish.

"I'm sorry, Ayanami. I didn't mean to upset you. I can't hear your thoughts, only an impression of them. It's rather sweet actually, he's in love with you too."

I blinked in surprise, unsure what to make of his words. I knew Ikari-kun had feelings for me but I believed no one else noticed. Aida-san and his omni-present camera caught everything. "How?"

"The other day, after he found out about Dr. Akagi's intent to operate on you, Shinji became livid. He was ready to give Commander Ikari, err…his father, a piece of his mind. It was all Asuka and I could do to talk him out of it. I though for sure he'd go nuclear on all of us."

I could see the entire scene play out in my mind. Ikari-kun's passion and dedication did not surprise me. Their temper was one of the few things both Ikari's shared. I felt better, knowing Aida-san prevented Ikari-kun from getting into trouble with the Commander. I was immensely grateful for this. The last thing I wanted was to see Ikari-kun jailed.

_That's because you want him for yourself. You desire to keep him for your own._

I was shocked by Unit Zero's blunt statement. The worst part, I knew her words were true. I might gladly keep Ikari-kun locked in world of my own but he would not want that. Also, it would be dangerous for both of us. So I did my best to keep us independent and thus free from danger. It was the least I could do for him. There was a difference between desire and recklessly giving into it.

Aida-san twitched uncomfortably in his seat. He looked over at me with a confused expression. Then, I thought I saw comprehension dawn in his face. Aida-san looked around, as if he was trying to locate something. "Ayanami, Unit Zero is happy because we're here."

I sensed that Aida-san was lying or confused about what he said. Unit Zero was attracted by one thing, his presence. She might accept or even appreciate my being here, however Aida-san was the focus of all her attention. Unit Zero combed through his mind like it was a rare treasure chest. It was intriguing to see how much she was enjoying this. I was starting to wonder how much I knew about my dark twin's mind.

The eternity of this dark palace stretched on around us on all directions. I closed my eyes and absorbed it all with a deep breath. Unit Zero breathed with me, her being resonating deeply in her soul. There was a strange sense of peace about this place.

"Man, you guys are so lucky." Aida-san insisted breathlessly.

Luck? Well, maybe luck played a small part of it but most of this was pure hard work. Maybe he'd understand some day…

With a hint of sadness, Aida-san's thoughts turned to Suzuhara-san. I had no doubt Horaki-san was with him, somewhere below us. Yukari would probably be resting with them, enjoying the effects of her new heart. In my mind, a strange thought began for form. "Aida-san, I hope you don't think it presumptuous but can you tell me what happened to Suzuhara-san's mother?"

Aida-san shook his head to assure me that he was not offended my question. "Toji or Yukari would be able to tell this better than me but I'll share what I know. When Yukari was born, her heart was defective and she spent a long time in the hospital. The doctors feared she wouldn't make it so the Suzuhara's spent every minute they could with her. Touji became jealous of Yukari and angry his parents had so little time for him. Then one day, everything changed."

"What happened?"

"A few months after Yukari was released from the hospital; their mom went back to visit a friend of hers, who was being treated for leukemia. She was doing the whole, good friend thing, right? Unfortunately, she never made it. A drunk driver lost control and slammed into her. The seatbelt failed and she was thrown from her car and pinned in the wreckage. She was alive but nothing could be done to save her. So, they called Touji's dad and asked him to bring the family down to say goodbye."

"Losing his mom, devastated Toji. He was trapped in this depressed funk for weeks afterward. Slowly, he began to change; the anger left and was replaced by concern for Yukari. Toji took an interest in her and began to take care of Yukari, like he was her mother. He made sure she took all her medications and made it to every doctor's appointment on time. He even helped his dad secure babysitters to watch Yukari, when no one was home."

"It was amazing to witness his transformation. He stopped being resentful of her and instead felt sorry for her because she was never going to know their mother. Toji's been the protective big brother ever since. The funny thing is, I don't think Yukari minds. She enjoys pulling his chain way too much."

I could see Yukari pushing Suzuhara-san around. The Suzuhara siblings were certainly a dynamic pair. I thought I understood them a little better now. I couldn't imagine how painful it had been to lose their mother at such a young age. No wonder they looked out for each other all the time.

"Arigato, Aida-san. I'm glad you told me."

"No problem. I didn't know that you weren't aware of what happened. I assumed everyone in our class knew."

We lapsed into silence and I let my mind process what I had learned. Aida-san meanwhile, returned to exploring the entry plug with his eyes. I could sense his excitement and wonder through our link to Unit Zero. He was naive and impressionable but I wished I had his optimism. There were a lot of things I wanted but could never have.

_Concentrate on the positives and what you can achieve, with what you have. _

I frowned at the cheesy, self help book, sounding line. I knew there was truth to it; it was so hard to follow. I clung to my hopes and dreams against common sense. It might be foolish but I needed every ounce to survive. Otherwise there would be no reason for me to keep going. After all, I knew what my intended fate was.

"I do not think holding on to dreams is such a bad thing. Reika would want you to keep fighting, no matter what. Right?"

I knew without a doubt that Aida-san spoke the truth. Reika believed in the future and her own strength. She never gave up, until her body was forcibly overwhelmed. I would best honor her by doing the same. Reika's memory would not be forgotten, regardless of what HE wanted. She was my sister and she saved my life. Now, it was my turn to take charge…

I intended to reach the end of this madness and see that Ikari-kun made it too. I wanted the future, I wanted life, I wanted freedom and I wanted love. I no longer wanted to listen to HIM or play by HIS rules. I was the daughter of Lilith and Yui. That gave me a source of power truer and more powerful than his forced use of Adam. My one shortfall was the core I lacked. I knew I needed to change that, soon.

"Ayanami-san, you don't need to worry. Reika won't be forgotten. I'll always remember her and so will you."

"Arigato, Aida-san. I'm thankful someone will remember her. I wish I could have met her, if only once."

Aida-san smiled sympathetically and patted my arm. I could sense his understanding of my pain and frustration. He started to say something about how it would all work out but was interrupted.

"Good job, everyone. This phase of testing is complete. You have twenty minutes to rest, while I reprogram Unit Zero for the second part." Stated Doctor Akagi's voice.

"Yes, ma'am." We all replied in unison.

I carefully disengaged the lines of connection to Unit Zero, ending with the A-10 Neuro Link. The entry plug spiraled out of her back and the LCL drained away. Finally, the hatch unsealed, allowing us freedom and access to the outside world. I rose cautiously to my feet, gripping the back of my seat for support. Aida-san stood too, watching me nervously. "Are you okay?"

"Hai."

I took a deep breath and walked out of the entry plug, down the stairs to the nearest bench. There, I plopped down and closed my eyes. Moments later, Ikari-kun appeared at my side. With a small smile, he handed me a stack of towels and disappeared from sight. I unwrapped them and two ice packs fell out from inside. Silently, I thanked Ikari-kun for his kindness and thoughtfulness. He was officially my hero.

Not wanting the Commander to become suspicious, I quickly placed the icepacks under my knees before returning to drying off. Hesitantly, I looked over my shoulder at the massive form of Unit Zero behind me. She stared back silently, her red eye devoid of life. Aida-san would return to her soon but I wasn't too worried. I felt that he would be fine.

I turned away from my dark sister to find Pilot Soryu watching me intently. Her blue eyes looked incredibly intense and focused. She made her way over to my side and sat down on the bench.

"Apparently, the stooge did well. I hear Dr. Akagi is enjoying herself up there."

I followed Pilot Soryu's pointed finger to the observation deck where Dr. Akagi leaned over Lt. Ibuki's left shoulder. She appeared to be directing the younger woman in her work. I shook my head and turned my gaze back to Pilot Soryu. She seemed to exude a feeling of crazy, electric energy all about her. Part of me wondered what she was planning but the rest of me was too afraid to ask. She had a type of strength, a power, I would never know.

"Hai. I imagine that the Commanders and Dr. Akagi are pleased today has gone so well. Especially since…"

I found myself unable to finish my sentence but Pilot Soryu understood. If nothing else, she remembered it because Horaki-san did. Horaki-san was traumatized by Suzuhara-san's injuries. I believe she feared loosing him again to Eva. I couldn't exactly blame her, the first time nearly cost Suzuhara-san his life.

"They should be grateful we're so good at our job. What would they do without us?" Pilot Soryu declared.

"I don't know. Probably NERV would have serious problems."

I was starting to wonder what Pilot Soryu was getting at. She never took the time to talk to me like this. There must be some sort of ulterior motive for her actions. I had to wonder what it was, as I prepared myself to face her request. I feared I would not like what she wanted to say. However, that was only a hunch. I would have to wait until Pilot Soryu decided to tell me what she wanted.

"Wondergirl, how long have you been a pilot?" Pilot Soryu abruptly demanded.

"Eight years, nine months and twenty days." I replied calmly.

I wondered what Pilot Soryu was getting at. It was true I'd been Piloting longer than her but not by much. She was becoming crazy and impossible to understand.

"I don't care what you say, Wondergirl. You've still been a Pilot the longest. That means you know the most about the Eva units."

I had no doubt that I truly did know more then her. I doubted that Pilot Soryu understood just how much I knew. More then that, why was she so interested in what I knew? This was completely out of character for her.

"Wondergirl? Are you listening? I need you to sit in Unit Two."

"Why?"

Pilot Soryu's face contorted with anger and frustration. She started to raise her hand but she thought better of it at the last minute. Pilot Soryu took several calming breaths and before speaking to me.

"They did something to her. I…I hoped you might be able to figure it out…" She stammered uncertainly.

To my amazement, Pilot Soryu's voice sounded uncommonly weak and confused. She must be truly desperate, if she was turning to me. I agreed to honor her request and watched her hastily disappear. Wearily, I rose to my feet and made way across the concrete walkway to where the stairs to Unit Two lay. I looked up at the massive biomechanical beast with a feeling of foreboding.

I only entered Unit Two on one occasion and Pilot Soryu was there with me. I was not highly compatible with Unit Two or her soul, so there was no way to know how she'd respond to me. To my disappointment, her four green eyes provided me with no answers. From where I stood, they were dead and dark. I wished I knew more about Unit Two because she was such an enigma.

I pushed such thoughts away and slowly ascended the steps. At the top, I found the entry plug open and ready to receive me. Maybe Pilot Soryu wasn't as mean as she wanted me to believe. A quick check of the setting revealed that Unit Two was already reprogrammed for me. I shook my head in compete amazement. Pilot Soryu must have been thinking ahead. This was a curious turn of events…

* * *

**Author's Notes:**

Wow this chapter came out rather unexpectedly. The Eva characters are certainly an interesting bunch. The next chapter will contain even more surprises. Unfortunately I can't reveal anything until the time comes Mwhahahahahahahaha!!

On a side note, you may have noticed I changed the spelling of Toji and Soryu. I would like to thank 94saturn for pointing out that I wasn't using the correct/official spelling. After some thought, I thought it was best to use to proper spelling instead of my butchered one. Sorry for any confusion.

Before I go, I have one small request: please Review, they are highly appriciated.

Lastly, the teaser courtasy of 94saturn:

"_So my dear, what brings you to my humble domicile?" Kaji asked, in his usual, flip tone._

_Ryoji's small apartment was, as disheveled, as his appearance. With a lecher's gleam in his eyes, he handed her a tumbler of Jack and Coke._


	22. Gathering Troubles

* * *

**The Girl in White Bandages: The True Confessions of Ayanami Rei**

_Ch.18 Gathering Troubles_

By Sesshy's Girl 00

* * *

I looked around; attempting to comprehend what was going on. Pilot Sohryu had left everything in Unit Two ready for me. _'Did she plan this?'_ I quickly glanced over the rest of Unit Two's numbers to see if I could spot the problem. To my disappointment, I saw nothing to indicate that anything was wrong. There was only one remaining option, climb in Unit Two myself. I sighed with anxiety, frustration and weariness.

I looked around and spotted Ikari-kun buying a soft drink from a vending machine. Aida-san stood beside him and the pair appeared to be deep in conversation. Not far away, Pilot Sohryu was talking with Ryohji-san. I couldn't hear what was being said but she looked particularly animated. A rare all consuming grin graced her face. It appeared there was time before work would resume.

I sat against Unit Two's side and lay my head against her cool exterior. A few minutes to rest here sounded simply blissful to my aching joints. I closed my eyes and allowed my mind to wander. Almost instantly, a shrill cry rose around me. I cringed from the sharpness of it but I refused to turn away. I knew where the pain came from but not how to end its painful flow. Maybe my work here today would help.

Yet, I feared pilot Soryu would not be easily healed.

Kyoko Zeppelin Soryu stared down at me with confusion and malice in her four green eyes. My mere presence was a problem because I was not her daughter. She only accepted Pilot Sohryu and she knew I was about to challenge that. I hoped she would refrain from striking out at me when I wished her no harm.

In what seemed like no time at all, Dr. Akagi's voice could be heard coming over the intercom. "Children, report to your assigned Evangelion. Testing will begin momentarily."

Ignoring the protest of my knees, I slowly rose to my feet and turned to face the entranceway of Unit Two's Entry plug. In the distance, I recognized the creaking of the metal stairs as Ikari-kun and Aida-san climbed towards their units as well. I heaved the door fully open with both hands and stepped inside the dark capsule. The noxious LCL fumes hung densely in the air, wafting up from the think layer that covered the smooth floor. I covered my nose, as I made my way towards the pilot's seat, hoping not to become ill. Thankfully, I arrived easily and I took my place in the Throne of Souls. I could feel Soryu-san watching my movements intently and I shivered involuntarily. She was trying to stare straight through me, pierce me to the core.

I wondered how she would react to actual contact with me. I knew I was not Pilot Soryu and there was no connection between Soryu-san and I. The Evangelion system was built around the mother-child relationship, which I completely lacked. However, I was a half-angel, who already tamed one beast. There was a chance that I could survive contact with the red one unscathed.

The familiar grind of metal on metal and the hum of the motor accompanied the insertion of the entry plug into the red Evangelion's back. Distressed by this, Soryu-san began to demand Pilot Soryu's presence. I attempted to soothe her with assurances that her daughter would return soon but she refused to listen. _I know what you are. You're one of them…_She hissed angrily.

I wondered what she thought I was but had no way of knowing. She completely clamped down and declined to say another word. My best guess was that she could sense what I was and disliked me because of it. It wouldn't be the first time but the hurt stung just the same. The Commander created me this way because it was what he wanted, not me. I'd been powerless to stop him. This was not my fault…was not even my decision…

With a final screech, the entry plug locked into place. The vents opened and LCL rushed in from all sides. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath to calm my nerves. The most terrifying part was inhaling of the copious amounts of LCL required to achieve equilibrium and the sensation of near drowning it caused. All of us hated and absolutely dreaded it.

After so many years, I was still very much at the mercy of its power.

I closed my eyes and forced myself to breathe the noxious substance into my lungs. Soryu-san's disgruntled protests permeated everything around and bored right into my soul. I could feel my being drifting away, swallowed up by the LCL. Soryu-san's anger began to consume me until I was enraged too. I took several deep breaths to steady myself but they did no good. Hollow screams from both mother and daughter filled the air. Before I knew it I was screaming with them.

"I know what you are. Yui's unwanted brat…Nephilim monster…'

"I am not a monster!" I hissed back.

My entire body froze as a bolt of unimaginable agony consumed my being. A scream rose in my throat but my jaws were clenched too tightly to release it. Abruptly, everything went black and I was falling helplessly into a void of nothingness.

* * *

Shinji's eyes grew wide with horror, as he watched Unit Two struggle against her bonds. The reinforced concrete was already beginning to crack and it was only a matter of time until the red beast was free. "Kensuke, we need to restrain Unit Two before she hurts someone."

"Right."

Shinji was not deaf to the note of worry in his speckled friend's voice but he knew there was no time left. A small cloud of steam appeared as Unit Two's power cable detached from the red unit's back. However, the entry plug showed no sign of moving. Fear for the First Child trapped inside gripped Shinji as he warily approached. _'Why did she stay in there? Couldn't she hear all the warnings Dr. Akagi and Misato were yelling?' _

Shinji reached out to touch Unit Two, when she suddenly leaned foreword and ejected the entry plug from her back. Shinji leapt into the air to catch it but the tube flew right over the tips of his fingers.

"Kensuke, grab her!"

Shinji tackled the red unit, while Kensuke expertly caught the First Child in Unit Zero's hands. Shinji prepared to battle with Unit Two but discovered that she was silent and no longer a danger. Sighing with relief, he gently lifted the red bio-mecha off him and put her back in place. Meanwhile Kensuke placed the entry plug on the deck and NERV personnel instantly swarmed around it. Before they could reach it, the door burst open and the First Child emerged.

Rei looked both ways and saw Asuka peak around the corner. Instantly, her face crumpled and her eyes filled with tears. Shaking uncontrollably, she approached the other young woman with outstretched arms. "Asuka…my baby…my darling…I love you. I…always have and I always will. Believe me, please... "

Asuka screamed in horror and took several large steps back. Tears gathered at the corner of her eyes but she fought them back. "Who are you? Keep away from me!"

"Don't you recognize your own mother?" Rei demanded in response.

"Lying bitch!"

Asuka raised her hand to strike, her mouth opened in a furious roar. Before the Second Child could bring her wrath down upon the blue haired girl, Kensuke and Shinji placed themselves between the two young women. Shinji put his hands on Rei's shoulders and shook her body in an effort to return Rei to her senses.

"Ayanami, please, come back."

Rei blinked slowly and her eyes regained their focus. She took in the scene around her and Shinji's distressed face. "I…I'm sorry Ikari-kun." She whispered weakly.

With her apology made, Rei swayed on her feet and collapsed into the Third Child's arms.

* * *

The enraged screams of Pilot Soryu and Soryu-san possessed my mind. I felt overwhelmed by their indomitable power. My own voice followed theirs in unrestrained agony. Just when I thought that being overcome by the turmoil was inevitable, a soft voice called out from the darkness. I couldn't make out the words but I recognized the sound, Ikari-kun's. He was calling for me; he wanted me back in the world. I reached towards it and pulled myself from the oppressive blackness.

Gradually, I could feel my body and senses returning to me. Every inch of my being ached but I relished the discomfort because I knew it meant that I lived. I could feel something warm and wet pressing against my right hand. I attempted to move to investigate but found that it lacked the strength.

"Ayanami…"

My eyes searched for the source of the sound calling my name. After a moment, my eyes fell upon Ikari-kun's face hovering near the edge of my bed. Aida-san stood behind him, looking equal parts concerned and relieved. I tried to smile reassuringly but my body simply wouldn't respond correctly and my expression came out more like a grimace. Ikari-kun smiled as tears tricked down his face. "Couldn't you hear the warnings? Misato and Dr. Akagi kept screaming for you to get out of there." He blurted out angrily.

_Warnings? Major Katsuragi and Dr. Akagi were telling me to leave Unit Two? _I tried to remember any of these things but nothing came to mind. Unit Two, Soryu-san, must have somehow prevented me from hearing them. Still, I should have known better, I should have been able to sense her intent to use me that way much faster. I was a fool and naive not to pay more attention.

"I'm sorry, Ikari-kun. I didn't hear them."

Ikari-kun gently squeezed my hand and smiled kindly. I closed my eyes and savored the feeling of his warm skin against mine. Aida-san chuckled and shook his head in amusement. Ikari-kun blushed slightly but ignored Aida-san's obvious pleasure of our intimate exchange.

Ikari-kun leaned over and explained to me, "Ayanami, the water heater in NERV is broken so we were going to all go my place to shower and eat dinner. Do…would you…want to come?" The humble sincerity in his voice was quite moving.

I felt a sense of deep relief and joy at Ikari-kun words because I was now freed from the evening tests Dr. Akagi scheduled for me. With the water heater broken, she wouldn't be able to keep the LCL at body temperature for me since the two systems were connected. Maybe luck was on my side for now. "Hai, arigato Ikari-kun."

"Fantastic."

"It will be like our own mini private party!" Aida-san cheered.

I looked between the pair, attempting to understand what Aida-san meant. Ikari-kun quickly registered my confusion and rushed to explain. "Horaki-san and Toji will be joining us for dinner as well."

"Suzuhara-san is being released?"

Aida-san shook his head. "Not yet, he's still not recovered enough; he just has been allowed to join us for a couple hours. The doctors feel it would be a good chance for him to practice with his prosthetics and allow Yukari to sleep. Apparently, the two are keeping each other up and Horaki-san isn't always helpful…"

Both of them hung their heads in shame and frustration. Based on what I knew, I could imagine the trouble the Class Rep., Suzuhara-san and his sister were causing for the nurses. Maybe tonight would be a needed break from all the stress for them. After a minute, Aida-san continued speaking. "Toji's supposed to have three nurses with him just in case; so we can't party too hard or we'll get in trouble." He bemoaned.

Ikari-kun sighed and rolled his eyes in mock disbelief, as he sat back up in his chair. Aida-san glared back at his friend with a look that implied Shinji should watch what he said. Then he left, saying he was going to visit Toji since Shinji was only going to insult him. I allowed myself to smile at the ridiculousness of their antics. I understood that all of it was feigned but the effort they put into their acting made no sense.

Boys, how do they think? I sighed to myself warmly; boys will be boys, an undeniable truth.

As Aida-san disappeared down the corridor, Ikari-kun chuckled softly. "Don't worry Ayanami. Kensuke doesn't mean any of it. He's just in a really good mood today. I doubt we'll do anything more exciting than playing some games and watching a movie."

I smiled, telling Ikari-kun that I believed his words. He nodded back and offered me my clothes from this morning. Quickly, he explained that the four of us would have a clean change when we arrived and Section Two would drive us there once I was ready. Confused, I had to ask why Major Katsuragi wasn't taking us there.

"Well, there are two reasons really. We can't all fit in her car to begin with and she still has some paperwork to deal with here. So she's coming home later." Ikari-kun explained.

I didn't dare let my thoughts go too far in that direction. While the Major herself might not be there, plenty of adult supervision would be. I didn't dare forget the nurses for Suzuhara or Section Two, who'd be watching on the security cameras placed around the Katsuragi residence. Still, it was a night spent with Ikari-kun and that was enough for me.

Misato watched as the children made their way to the waiting Section Two vans. She felt slightly apprehensive about letting them spend the night alone like this but she trusted that everything would work out for the best. After all, it wasn't like they wouldn't be unsupervised. And deep down she trusted their judgment; these are not your 'run of the mill children'.

With a heavy sigh, Misato returned to her desk to finish the paperwork waiting for her. She had business to discuss with Kaji this evening and she wanted plenty of time to track him down. This was a matter of their security, life and death. Misato prayed he told her what she wanted to hear but her gut said it would be bad news indeed. However, if she spent all night here, she'd never get the chance to speak with Kaji herself.

* * *

**Misato and Kaji's interlude**

_By: 94saturn _

"So my dear, what brings you to my humble domicile?" Kaji asked, in his usual flip tone.

Ryoji's small apartment was as disheveled, as his appearance. With a lecher's gleam in his eyes, he handed her a tumbler of Jack and Coke.

Misato took a tentative sip. _At least he's not trying to get me drunk_.

The cocktail was mixed perfectly, with the right ratio of alcohol to make it a drinkable beverage. This man was far too intelligent, if not mature, to play childish games with her.

As the young man sat next to her on the futon, she lit a cigarette, nervously.

"So, what's going on with instrumentality?" She asked, as smoothly, as she could. The whole subject filled her with anxiety.

With his jet black hair tied back in a ponytail, Kaji smiled. "If I knew the answer to that, I would tell you." It was at that moment that he made his final decision to risk including her in the loop. "Is that the only reason you came to see me?"

Kaji slipped his free arm around her waist and gave her a gentle squeeze. "I didn't know that you started smoking again."

"I only do it around you…. and keep your mouth shut about it." Her pout approached childish.

Kaji nuzzled her cheek, and then kissed her just below the ear. "Was I right? Were your lips telling me the truth?"

Misato felt a little flustered. "Don't think you're going to touch me until you shave…. you scruffy…"

It was all Misato could do to drop the cigarette in the ashtray, when he planted his lips on hers to give her a deep kiss. There is a time when a man knows, the answer is 'yes' and it is up to him to be bold and seize the opportunity. Kaji was nothing, if not bold, when it comes to women.

They kissed passionately for a few minutes before he got up and bowed, with his right arm across his waist. "Your wish is my command."

Kaji loped to the bathroom, leaving Misato to contemplate what was about to happen.

_Why am I doing this? I should know better_. She thought, frustrated with her own inability to control her actions.

She noticed the spent cigarette and crushed out the remnant. Then, with a heavy sigh, she got up and took their glasses to the kitchen. After dumping the backwash in the sink, she prepared two fresh, 'stiff' drinks.

Misato returned and set the glasses on the floor. _Who am I kidding_? She thought, as she began to undress; in the background was the muted buzzing sound of an electric razor.

She removed her red jacket and draped it over the chair by the computer desk. Then she began to unbutton her blouse, it fell to the floor. She reached around and unfastened her bra, releasing her gorgeous breasts from their captivity. Misato felt the cool breeze from the air-conditioning on her back, as she pulled off her olive green shorts and stepped out of her white cotton panties.

Nude, she sat down on the futon and took a heavy gulp of her cocktail. Misato suddenly became acutely aware that the only thing she was wearing was the digital watch on her left wrist and the silver cross around her neck that her father had given her many years ago.

She clamped her knees together and brought them to her chest to conceal her nudity. 'W_hat am I thinking? He's seen every square centimeter of me_. _We slept together for over a year.'_

Just, as she relaxed, Kaji emerged from the bathroom, clean-shaven. He was rubbing his face, because even an electric razor will cause irritation, if used infrequently.

"My, my, Katsuragi, you are just as beautiful as I remember!"

If she were a bit younger, Misato would have blushed, as it was, she simply smiled weakly at the compliment.

Wasting no time, Kaji started to undress. His tie had been discarded, along with his socks, the moment that he stepped through the door this evening. But it took him a moment to peel off his shirt and cast it aside. Then he removed his dark dress pants and shorts; exposing himself to her.

Misato felt a pang of nostalgia, as she viewed her nude lover. Typical of a Japanese man, his manhood was not overly large. When inflated however, it was adequate for the task. At thirty-one, he was still in his prime. The chiseled features of his lithe, muscular body, would woo most any female and probably a few males, as well.

Kaji sat down beside her and picked up his drink. "I'm afraid, that I have no news about the Marduke Institute either. We know that most of Shinji's classmates are candidates. But all of the companies that I have investigated are fronts."

"You mean…" Misato asked, astonished.

"Yes…NERV is pulling the strings." He replied, and then took a sip of his drink. "This implies that Commander Ikari is at the root of it."

Misato took a sip; then played her forefinger on the rim of her glass, deep in thought. "It would be just like him, that bastard. He's the type we women hate the most."

"Indeed." Kaji agreed, as he retrieved a small object from its hiding place. Playfully, he slipped his hand between her legs and began to insert said object into her.

"Kaji Ryoji! What the HELL do you think you're doing?" Misato exclaimed.

Instantly startled by the intrusion, she brushed his hand aside and removed the foreign object. Misato dropped the small red and white capsule, it rolled to a stop next to her drink.

Before she had a chance to scold him, he began to kiss her rather passionately. He delved deep into her mouth, seeking out her tongue. Kaji's hands caressed her back tenderly, taking in the smooth, warm, softness of her skin. Misato was truly a beautiful woman.

Misato lost track of her annoyance in favor of the comfort of his familiar embrace and allowed him to begin massaging her breasts. He squeezed and tweaked with a knowing touch. Ryoji's finger traced the jagged scar that ran between her mammaries with reverence. To him, it was not a flaw, rather, a badge of honor. She was the only survivor of the Katsuragi expedition to Antarctica, so many years ago. She witnessed hell first hand.

He murmured softly to her. "You carry Adam's mark, yet, it only makes you more beautiful."

Then he began to suckle her left breast. She couldn't resist, as she felt him begin to take her.

"Kaji….mummmm." Her response was a whimper.

She closed her eyes and gave herself to him, just like she always had. This was the man that gently deflowered her when they were collage students.

Kaji continued to work her now erect nipple, licking and sucking her spongy orb. All the while, he let his right hand glide slowly across her supple skin. He could feel her body temperature beginning to rise, as his hand continued toward her nether region.

Misato's natural hair color was purple. The evidence of that fact was in the shade of her soft, triangular patch of fur, guarding the entrance to heaven. Kaji was stroking it shamelessly, causing quivers, rippling through her body. Then, his attention turned to her neglected right breast.

"Ohhhh."

The young man kissed his way up her neck, finding her lips, while his finger delved deeper into her tender, special place. His manipulations were pushing her to the razors edge.

"I want it NOW!" She exclaimed, as she squirmed uncontrollably.

Honoring his lover's request, he lifted her knees and with a swift stroke, penetrated the young woman. Plowing forth with gentle force; deep within her. Virginity long gone, all she felt was pleasure. They thrust into one another with excitement. Soft moans of passion permeated the modest apartment. This was true sex, no meekness, just good old fashion, 'bump-n-grind'. They were going at it like rabbits in heat.

They continued for some time before Misato clamped her eyes closed, gritted her teeth and shuddered from head to toe. Moments later Kaji did something very similar. Then he laid down with her, taking her into his arms. The man kissed Misato passionately again and again.

Kaji wiped the beads of sweat from her forehead. "Was it good for you?" He asked, with a chuckle. He was referring to an ancient cliché.

Misato nodded and silently wrapped her arms around him, kissing her lover. Then she got up.

"I have to go to the bathroom."

The nude young man watched her beautiful, bare backside recede, as she padded away to take care of business. Then, he picked up his drink and lamented that the ice had melted, weakening it. He sighed and finished it, then lit one of Misato's cigarettes.

Misato returned shortly; no longer self-conscious with her state of undress. She went to her jacket and fished out her cell phone. Casually, she scanned through the list of numbers and selected her apartment.

"Hi…Asuka? Mumm, something came 'up' and I won't be home tonight. You guys just order out tonight. Ok? Yeah, I'll see you guys after school tomorrow and don't stay up too late. Bye."

Misato returned the phone to its pocket and turned to Kaji. "Ready?"

Kaji casually put out his smoke. "And willing…my dear."

* * *

Pilot Sohryu growled in anger and slammed down the phone. She stomped into the living room and flopped down onto the sofa. "This is just wonderful; Misato's abandoned us and Wondergirl's throwing up in the bathroom. I'm in for the time of my life!" She grumbled loudly.

I poked my head out from the bathroom door to glare at the Second Child. Both Ikari-kun and Aida-san looked up at me with confusion and interest. "Pilot Sohryu, I am not vomiting. I was attempting to remove soap from my mouth." I responded.

Pilot Sohryu glared at me indignantly, her hands on her hips. "Wondergirl, get back in that bathroom this instant. You should not let the guys see you so!" She snapped angrily.

I looked down at my body, realizing for the first time how exposed I was despite the thick towel wrapped around me. I blushed in embarrassment and nodded in apology towards Ikari-kun, Suzuhara-san and Aida-san. Before anything else might happen, I retreated to the bathroom to finish my business. Mentally, I fought the urge to curse NERV's faulty water heater. The bright side to it made the experience worth it. I would be spending the evening with Ikari-kun and I didn't mind that idea. The whole prospect made me feel calm and contented.

Once I'd assured myself that my mouth was truly soap free, I rinsed the remainder of the body wash from myself and toweled off. After having a blob of soap actually launch itself from the bottle and into my face and mouth when I tried to open the container was enough excitement for me. Plus, I figured I didn't need to be any cleaner. I brushed out my hair and pulled on the change of clothes Section Two gave me; a light blue v-neck t-shirt, knee length jean skirt, black leggings, and silver ballet flats. Finally, I studied my reflection in the mirror. While I agreed the whole ensemble felt awkward, I didn't look all that bad on the whole. I would adjust in time.

When I emerged, Horaki-san and Pilot Soryu were stretched out on the sofa, watching television and sipping from glasses of Coke. Suzuhara-san sat in the easy chair next to Horaki-san, a massive grin plastered across his face. Meanwhile the nurses had commandeered a corner of the room for themselves and all their things. I claimed one of the plush pillows and took a seat on the floor.

"Are you okay, Ayanami? I heard about…" Horaki-san inquired with concern.

Pilot Soryu turned away with a dark expression on her face. I had no doubt she was still furious at me for what she considered to be a cruel and insensitive joke. I wished I could explain to Pilot Soryu that it really had been her mother speaking to her but I doubted I could convince her of that. Even if by some miracle she believed me, that fact could drive her permanently from Unit Two.

"Hai; thank-you. I was unharmed by the incident." I assured Horaki-san.

Horaki-san smiled in relief; she started to say something more but the arrival of Aida-san and his video camera cut her off.

"And over here we see the lovely ladies of our group and the other great champion. These four are the epitome of strength and hard work."

"Aida-san, you're embarrassing us. Stop it!" A furiously blushing Horaki-san pleaded weakly.

"What modesty from the great Class Rep!"

Horaki-san's blush deepened several shades and she hung her head low, allowing her bangs to obscure her features. Before Aida-san could mortify her more, Suzuhara-san spoke up. "Hey Kensuke. Do you still want some footage of me walking with my new prosthetics? I think it's time for me to put them back on."

"Sure!" Aida-san agreed eagerly.

The nurses rose quietly to their feet and carried Suzuhara's prosthetic leg and arm over to him. Working together, they spent the next several minutes strapping everything in place. Lastly, Suzuhara-san wiggled his limbs around to see that everything was ready. "Alright Kensuke; go grab Shinji from the kitchen. It's time to watch the magic."

Aida-san released a cry of delight and dashed back into the kitchen. Seconds later he pulled Ikari-kun out into the main room with him. They each went to one of Suzuhara-san's sides and he placed his arms around their necks. Together they worked to help Suzuhara into a standing position and find his sense of balance. Once he achieved equilibrium, they stepped back to give him room. Aida-san raised his video camera and shouted an enthusiastic, "Action!"

Suzuhara-san made a face but complied by taking a few shaky steps across the floor with great care. Aida-san cheered him on, his voice full of encouragement. Ikari-kun joined in and declared his support. The rest of us were quick to follow and vocalize encouragement for Suzuhara-san. He smiled in gratitude for the loyal backing but he appeared tired already. Suzuhara-san slowly made his way back towards the armchair and sank appreciatively into the cushions.

He closed his eyes and breathed deeply for several minutes until he caught his breath. We watched him closely, concerned that he'd over done it and worn himself completely out but he recovered quickly. "How does the footage look, Kensuke?" He asked with a smile.

Aida-san grinned back and gave Suzuhara-san thumbs up. "Excellent!" He assured us confidently.

In the background, the oven's timer buzzed loudly, momentarily distracting all of us from Suzuhara-san. Ikari-kun nodded and headed for the kitchen. I followed right behind him, curious to see what this mysterious thing called macaroni and cheese looked like. In the kitchen, Ikari-kun leaned over and opened the oven door. Using a pair of oven mitts to shield his hands, Ikari-kun removed the glass dish filled with his bubbling, yellow-orange creation with brown circular chunks of meat. I inhaled the aroma and decided I liked how it smelled.

"I know it's not the tofu and bean curry I wanted to make for you but I promise it'll be tasty. I've made it for Asuka and Misato before so I know that for a fact."

Ikari-kun carefully placed it on the stovetop and began searching for something in the silverware drawer. He came up with a fork and gave it to me. Ikari-kun nodded towards the dish cooling on the range top in indication that I should try a bite. He's smiled reassuringly and placed his hand on my shoulder. "Don't worry, Ayanami. The hot dogs are made of flavored tofu and soybeans so it's safe for you to eat. I know it's a strange European dish but you can trust my cooking."

Bravely, I reached out with my fork and inserted it into the corner of the dish. I lifted a steamy golden portion into the air and blew air over it to cool it off. After a minute it stopped steaming quite so profusely and I felt safe that it would not burn my mouth, so I took a bite. The cheesy, creamy taste that graced my tongue was unlike anything I'd had before. Macaroni and cheese was simply delicious and I loved it. With a smile on my face, I cleaned off my fork and informed Ikari-kun of my approval.

He grinned back as he looked inside the steamer to check on the vegetables. He poked at them gently and placed the lid back on. "I thought it would make you happy, Rei. Now, let's go tell the others that dinner is ready, they're probably getting impatient from waiting."

The next morning…

Dr. Akagi inserted the needle into my arm and injected a purple substance into my body. It took only a few moments for me to feel the effects of the drugs upon my being. My limbs became heavy and difficult to move. My mind slid dangerously into the realm of unconsciousness. The world soon became overwhelmingly fast and I had trouble tracking what was going on around me. As the chemicals took control of me, Dr. Akagi disappeared into the next room. She returned with a strange contraption. Tubes and wires dangled out of all sides from a single black box in the center. The whole thing looked evil.

Dr. Akagi approached the side of my bed and placed the apparatus next to me. Next, she attached I.V. bag full of the same purple liquid, as she'd injected into me, to the center core of the machine. Then, Dr. Akagi lifted one of the tubes and attached a needle to the end of it. This tube, along with a corresponding wire was inserted into my elbow. I winced in agony as it all made contact with my muscles. Dr. Akagi repeated this process at every joint from my neck, to my ankles.

When I was completely hooked up to Dr. Akagi's machine, she plugged it into an electrical outlet. I could feel the prickle of electricity tingling at my joints in response. Dr. Akagi pressed some button and bolt of white-hot pain flashed through my body. My right arm jerked into the air. Dr. Akagi nodded with pleasure and pressed a second set of buttons. This time my entire body sat upright in a heartbeat. I cringed as my being was wracked by unimaginable pain. My head spun crazily, as it flopped against my chest.

The next several days passed in a blur. Nothing meant anything to me, but the pain and the impossible swirl of faces. I had no idea how much time I spent lying in that hospital bed. Hours? Days? Weeks? The whole thing was impossible for to me keep track of. The only thing I was conscious of was the pain. I thought for sure this would never end; the torture seemed to go on and on. Slowly, a pattern of rest and activity was established. I had no idea if this was related to the cycle of day and night but I guessed that it was.

One point, during the quiet hours when I was left to lay alone, I heard the unexpected sound of footsteps. Maybe…Dr. Akagi was returning for me…I did not want to hurt anymore. Fruitlessly, I struggled to move my super drugged body but nothing happened. Something took my hand and lifted it from the bed. My initial reaction told me Dr. Akagi was preparing for another round of pain. Using all of my strength, I summoned two words to express how I felt. "No…please…."

"Ayanami, …safe."

At the familiar sound of Ikari-kun's voice, a wave of fear went through me. He should not be here! I forced my eyes open, desperate to force Ikari-kun from the premise. I attempted to squeeze his hand to get his attention but had no success. Ikari-kun hands rested upon my ankles. Then next thing I knew, Ikari-kun had completely detached me from Dr Akagi's machine. He lifted me effortlessly into his arms and I hung limp as a rag doll. "Come…. I….out."

Desperation seized me but I couldn't communicate this to Ikari-kun. Most of my limited strength was long gone. I summoned every ounce of will and used it to place my hand on Ikari-kun's shoulder. "Ikari-kun…run…go…" I pleaded.

I wanted to say more but my voice failed me. Ikari-kun wrapped me up in his arms and I was swept helplessly from the room. It was all I could do to remain conscious and absorb what was going on around me. I shivered with unexpected coldness. Ikari-kun kissed my forehead gently and carried me from the room. I wanted so desperately to fight him but my body was useless. Tears formed at the corners of my eyes as I struggled unsuccessfully not to cry.

All too soon, cool air rushed over my face, as we left the confines of NERV. What was Ikari-kun planning? I tried to ask him but my voice failed me. Ikari-kun held me even more tightly to him. In the distance, I recognized the sound of a running car engine. Ikari-kun hurried towards it and a moment later he was speaking to someone.

"Shinji…what…her…"

I blinked, attempting to place the woman's voice. It was so close…Major Katsuragi! When had Ikari-kun called her? What happened? I felt like I missed something in all this. Ikari-kun patted my hand and replied to Major Katsuragi's question. I didn't hear the whole response but I recognized one word, hospital. _'No, no, NO!'_ my mind screamed. _'Didn't they realize how dangerous that was? Commander Ikari would have their heads for sure!'_

To my increasing dismay, the Major appeared to be following Ikari-kun's directions. A feeling of dread consumed me as I watched the buildings of Tokyo III pass by through the window. I needed to warn them of the danger before it was too late. I feared their fate might already be sealed but I prayed that I might be able to save them. My body was so weak; I didn't know what I could accomplish with such little strength.

The car came to an abrupt stop and Ikari-kun carried me inside the front doors. Horaki-san's eldest sister stood waiting for us on the other side. She took one look at me and her face fell in concern. The next thing I knew, I lay on a gurney, attached to an I.V., heart monitor and dialysis machine. My head spun and struggled to focus on anything coherent.

"Kodama, is she going to be okay? What is that stuff?" Misato demanded with an edge of concern in her voice.

Kodama looked down at the glass jar she held in her hands and frowned deeply. The purple substance swirled enigmatically in its clear container.

"I'd have to run some tests to be sure but if this is what I believe it to be, this is a powerful drug. It interferes with the brain's ability to communicate with the rest of the body; give someone too much, the heart and lungs quit working. That's why I hooked her up to the dialysis machine. I want to get this stuff out of her body as quickly as possible."

Shinji nodded in agreement and squeezed Rei's hand tightly. The blue haired girl mumbled incoherently in response. Shinji smiled weakly at her, in an effort to calm his own fears. Not surprisingly, the First Child didn't respond. Shinji found himself a chair and settled in to wait.

* * *

Misato frowned when Kodama entered the room with a concerned expression on her face. The doctor leaned over and began to examine the teenage patient before her. After a moment, Kodama shook her head and muttered angrily under her breath. Misato approached the younger woman and placed her hand on her arm. "What did the test results show?"

"Nothing good. The substance in the jar and in her body; was the one I feared it to be. The blood tests showed that she has a near fatal amount of it in her blood stream. Someone clearly did this intentionally and had to be monitoring her. The electrical burns at her joints indicate that it was used as some sort of shock treatment or experiment."

Kodama reached into her lab coat pocket and removed a tube of burn cream. She rubbed it on to the blisters that marked Rei's joints. The patient sighed contentedly in response to contact with the cool substance. Shinji stroked Rei's hair, while Misato assisted Kodama in wheeling in a cart with an ultrasound machine on top. The women set it beside Rei and connected it to the monitor. Misato motioned for Shinji to step back and she pulled the screen closed.

"So, are you sure this will work?" Misato asked Kodama, as she turned off the lights.

"Yes, this should tell us how long she's been exposed to the chemicals. The signs should be obvious if she's had a serious amount of it in her body for any length of time. Kodama squirted a large amount of jelly and placed the probe against Rei's abdomen. After moving it around for several moments, a new frown formed upon her face. "This isn't right…" She murmured.

"What's wrong?" Misato asked, as she leaned over to see the screen better.

"The first child doesn't have any of her female reproductive organs. I've never seen anything like this."

"Did someone cut them out of her?"

Kodama shook her head. "No, there's no scaring; she was born this way. Either her lack of female parts is a natural occurrence or she was subjected to extensive chemical and genetic manipulation during development."

Misato made a face of revulsion, which Shinji mimicked from the other side of the curtain. Misato shook her head and pointed at the screen. "Kodama, what are those?"

"You mean the jagged and malformed areas? Those are what should have become her ovaries but their development was halted quiet prematurely; instead they're just dead tissue."

"I believe you know what the open area below that is? It's where her uterus is supposed be. The lining should be much thicker and muscled; for her that's basically a thin layer of protective membrane."

Misato nodded slightly while scratching her head. Kodama watched the confusion and frustration, as she stared down at the young girl. Finally, one clear thought came through the whirl of confusion. "Then why does she have such big…you know…*she motioned to her own ample endowments*…they're not huge but certainly suitable for her age."

Kodama considered the question carefully for several minutes before answering. "I suspect someone's been giving her injections of female hormones to compensate for her lack of the appropriate parts. Alternately she might have some really good genes but I don't think that's likely. More importantly, I know I can help her out."

"How?" Shinji interrupted eagerly.

"I can draw a sample of her blood and use it to clone a proper set of female organs then surgically attach them where they belong. Do you know where her parents are? I'd need to receive their permission." Kodama explained.

Following Kodama's words the room fell silent. Misato shifted awkwardly and Shinji could be heard softly muttering in anger. Kodama looked back and forward between the two, waiting for an explanation to their strange behavior. "Ayanami doesn't have parents any more, my father's her guardian. I…I don't think he'd allow her to…" Shinji explained tensely.

Kodama's eyes widened in understanding and she nodded sympathetically. "Commander Ikari…yeah, I can see why that would be a problem. If you promise to keep it a secret, I can do it and not tell."

"What happens when Ritsu finds out and tells the Commander?" Misato grumbled.

"I don't know."

* * *

The journey of Reika Ayanami…

I lay on my back upon a sofa, staring up at the ceiling of the Horaki family living room. Despite the blanket that was wrapped around me, I felt cold and weary. I was starting to think that a nap might be a good idea. I had rested and stuffed myself full for a day but my body had only begun to recover. From the kitchen, I recognized the sounds of Kodama and Sana's voices. Although I couldn't make out what they were saying, I had a pretty good idea what it was.

Their conversation almost certainly covered one or both of the most popular subjects concerning me, their thoughts on my latest physical exam or how to forge the paperwork to get me appropriately placed on the lung transplant list. Part of those goals seemed to including getting me in to see the doctor at the hospital who was an expert on lung defect and injuries. Of course, my situation made all of that difficult, after all I was a 'deceased' minor with no records and a guardian who had desired my demise. However, they were rather determined not to be hindered by those facts, for which I was eternally grateful.

I was starting to drift off when Mina appeared at my side and held out an apple to me. "Mommy said you hungry."

I accepted the red fruit with a smile and took a bite. Mina frowned sadly as she sat down beside me. "Why must you live here, Miss Reika? You no better?"

I patted Mina on the head but was unable to answer her question because I wasn't sure how to simplify the truth. The real reason I'd been moved was because of Kensuke's selection as an Evangelion Pilot. Naturally, Section Two wanted to wire 'security' cameras throughout the Aida residence so I had to be gone. It appeared I'd be spending the rest of my convalescence at Horaki household. Thankfully, there was room, care and food for me here too.

The ultimate goal was for me to get well enough to live on my own. Once that day came, I'd find an apartment somewhere safe and live there. Of course, I needed a makeover and a new school to attend before then. I was actually looking forward to that because I eagerly anticipated the sense of normalcy and security that came with it. I also wanted the long hair to play around with, I was very much still a girl at heart.

"I came here because bad people wouldn't be happy to know I'm alive and I'm afraid they'd find me at your house." I explained to Mina.

"Here safe?" Mina asked, a note of concern evident in her voice.

"Hai." I assured her, "I'm in no danger here."

Mina smiled happily and clapped her hands with a cheer. I couldn't resist grinning with her. Despite all the challenges before me, I'd come a long way already. I was free and safe at last. I couldn't ask for more than that because it was actually a pretty sweet feeling.

* * *

**Author's Notes:**

First and foremost, I don't own Evangelion!!!!!! Why would I be posting this here if I did? 'Nuff said.

With diabolical laughter, Sesshy strikes again. I hope you all enjoyed this latest installment. Many tanks to 94Saturn for making the Kaji/Misato scene possible.

Sesshy knows she took far too long getting this up and she apologizes for the delay. College life has been busy, difficult and engrossing for her ladyship. She promises to do better in the future.

Please leave a review before you go. I love each and every one of them. They also give me extra incentive to work on the next chapter. ;)

Lastly - The Teaser:

_I wouldn't, couldn't believe my eyes. There was simply no way I wasn't halucinating. Tabris was HERE! _


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